Bitter Envy; a Deadly Mistake Among Couples

[Music] [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. God for how it has been Him all through for every marriage forum. It would not be too much to just keep thanking the Lord. But let's just take this song together as we start up this morning to say, "Lord, we are gathering together unto Thee, and unto Thee shall the gathering of Your people be." [Music] Our Father and our God, we thank You for Your love. We thank You for Your mercy. Our topic for today is a very familiar topic and a very common thing today that you find among couples, you find it among people, you find it severally, you find it diversely in different relationships, in different situations. You find this matter going on: Bitter Envy. That’s our topic this morning. Bitter Envy: A Deadly Mistake Among Couples. What I wrote yesterday is our first marriage forum for the year would focus on bitter envy. Bitter envy is a natural and very common phenomenon among couples. However, its implications are quite costly. Many relationships are sick, if not dead, on account of bitter envy. What is it? Why and how it should be avoided is the burden of today’s meeting. What is bitter envy? Why should we avoid it? And how should we avoid it? Why is it something that is common among us? These are some of the things we want to consider this morning in this forum. And as usual, don't forget, once we get to around 11:30, it will be time for you to send in your questions. And as your questions come in, we will do everything to respond to those questions on this very important topic that we are considering today. So, let’s first try to look at the first thing before us, which is: What is bitter envy? In the first place is to look at: What is envy? What do we mean by envy? Envy is a very common word among us. And of course, to envy someone is to desire that what somebody has is yours. What somebody has is yours. And in a way, ordinarily when you look at envy, if you look at what the Bible says in Paul's letter to the Corinthians church when he was talking about covetousness. Covetousness can be negative, very negative. But it was used in a very different way in Paul's letter to the Corinth when he said you should covet the good gift, or you should be envious, you should try, you should pursue after, seek to get the better ones. That is when the believers should desire to be somebody who prophesies than somebody who just speaks in tongues. Covet, follow after what is good. Now, when we are talking about envy, simply put, envy simply means the desire to have what somebody has. And ordinarily in a way, when you look at it in the ordinary sense of it, sometimes envy can be used in a positive light. That "I'm envious of you," meaning that, "Wow, this thing you have, how I desire to have this too." And you are saying that in a very positive light. You are saying that on a very good note. You are saying that you are praying and you are wishing that this thing that God has done for so-and-so person, this thing that is in the life of somebody else, you desire that it will also be in your life. Now, when we look at envy in that direction, you say we are looking at envy in a positive light. But what we are discussing today is bitter envy. When you add bitterness to envy, what exactly is the Bible talking about? What is the Bible talking about? This word "bitter envy" is a word that came up in the book of James 3. James 3. Bitter envy. Let's look at James 3 from around verse 13. The Bible says: "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your heart, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy," referring to the bitter envy, "for where this bitter envy is and self-seeking exists, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy, good fruits, without partiality, without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." (James 3:13-18) So, the word "bitter envy" is something that occurs in the book of James 3:14. And its occurrence here is something for us that we can readily learn from. The occurrence here is that bitter envy is a kind of wisdom. It is a kind of wisdom. Bitter envy is a kind of wisdom when we look at the usage in this place. It says, "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your heart, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom..." which means bitter envy is a type of wisdom. It is a type of wisdom. That's one thing we are trying to define: What is it? What is bitter envy? Bitter envy is a type of wisdom. Number two, bitter envy is something that exists in the heart. He says, "But if you have bitter envy in your heart." So, bitter envy is something that is attitudinal. It is something that has to do with attitude. It is something attitudinal, it is something inside. Bitter envy, number one, is a type of wisdom. Bitter envy is something that is an attitude. It is an attitude, something that is in the heart. It has its manifestation. We are still trying to define what it is. Now, when he says, "This wisdom does not descend from above, but it is earthly, it is sensual, it is demonic," then we are having another understanding about bitter envy. That bitter envy has three major characteristics. One, it is earthly. Two, it is sensual. Three, it is demonic. Bitter envy is a type of wisdom. Bitter envy is something that is in the heart. It is an attitude in the heart. Bitter envy is not a wisdom that comes from heaven. It is a kind of earthly wisdom. It is a kind of sensual wisdom. It is a kind of demonic wisdom. That is, bitter envy is trying to be wise the way this world is wise, using the wisdom of this world, the characteristics. You are trying to be wise, but it is the wisdom according to the wisdom of this world. Number two, it is sensual. Bitter envy is something that is a kind of wisdom that is based completely on the way you feel. It has to do with how you feel about something. It is sensual. It is not a wisdom that is reflective. It is a wisdom that is based purely on emotion. Then we are also trying to see about it that it is something that is demonic. That is, it is something that comes with satanic manipulation. Once we begin to see this type of wisdom, it has satanic influences. It has demonic meddling. There is a meddling of demonic activities in it. Bitter envy. Now, having said all of this about bitter envy, how can we now properly look at practical examples of what we mean by bitter envy? Now, we will look at where this thing, this matter of envy is used again in a place in the Old Testament that can help us to understand this matter of bitter envy. Now, we are trying to define what is it. Gradually we have been able to see that it is a type of wisdom. Gradually we have also been able to see that it is something that is in the heart. We have also been able to see that it is a wisdom that is purely earthly, sensual, and demonic. And now you want to look at something further in Psalm 37. Trying to get around this matter of what is it. Now, in Psalm 37 from verse 1, we want to look at a practical way of understanding. How can we practically understand bitter envy? We want to practically understand it. Now, in Psalm 37 from verse 1, it says: "Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret—it only causes harm. For evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while and the wicked shall be no more; indeed, you will look carefully for his place, but it shall be no more. But the meek shall inherit the earth, and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace." (Psalm 37:1-11) Now, you see the word "envy" again coming from this place. This time it is saying, "Do not fret because of the evildoer. Do not be envious of workers of iniquity." I’m trying to practically define bitter envy. Now, bitter envy simply, when you want to define it practically, it simply means that somebody has done evil. Someone is doing what is wrong. And you are doing everything to make sure that the person who is doing what is wrong does not go away with it. You are doing everything to make sure you give back that person the evil the person is doing. Somebody is doing evil, and because you are not happy about the evil, you become envious. You want to make sure that "No, this person, you think you know how to do it, then me too, I will show you that I am more in this thing." Practically speaking, it’s like let me give you a practical example. You are driving and there was an issue between you and another road user. And then the road user just looks at you and says, "Look at you, you stupid man. Don't you have eyes to see?" The man has done something wrong. Maybe you felt you were the one that was right in what happened between you and him. And this is the man insulting you. Then you now feel that, "You, you are insulting me? Oh, I will make sure you pay for this insult." You are envious of him. You desire to return back that evil. You desire that no, this person will not get away with this thing that he is doing to you. Bitter envy is simply desiring to make sure, desiring to have the position that someone who has done you wrong—you want to make sure that you pay the person back evil for evil. You are envious of the wicked. When we are envious of the wicked, when we begin to desire what the evil that they are doing, you are desiring to also give it back to them. You have this desire to give back the evil of the person who is doing evil to you. You are desiring to give back insult for insult. You are envious that, "Ah, this person will go with this thing? No, no, no, no, no! I need to give him back." That’s what the Bible is describing as bitter envy. Bitter envy is what Psalm 37 is calling "Do not fret because of the evildoer, nor be envious of workers of iniquity." Somebody, look at when the scripture says if they slap you on one side of the cheek, what should you do? He said you should turn the other one. If you have bitter envy in your heart, you will not be able to do so. Because it’s something attitudinal, it’s something in the heart. It is something that if you have it, people who have bitter envy cannot fulfill this scripture. Let me read 1 Peter 2. 1 Peter 2, I will read it from verse 18. "Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh. For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully." (1 Peter 2:18-19) People who have bitter envy cannot, because of a conscience toward God, enjoy suffering wrongfully. They cannot. The envy that they wish to be like the wicked, the desire to have that thing that the wicked have. "Oh, you know how to curse? I will show you how to do it better. You know how to slap? I will show you how to slap better. You know how to do it? I..." the desire, the desire to have it. Envy simply means desiring to have what the other person has. When it is now that somebody is doing evil, then you are also desiring to be evil like that person, then you have a problem of bitter envy. It is something in the heart. It is something as a Christian you must beg God to deal with. You must present your heart to God and ask God to help you deal with it. Because if you don't deal with it as a Christian, I’m telling you, you will never have a stable marriage. Your marriage can never be stable. We are still going to look at all of this. If you don't deal with this thing as a Christian, your marriage can never be stable. You must ask God to help you to deal with it. You must ask God to help you to conquer it. Such that you are able to be somebody who can because of good conscience toward God enjoy suffering wrongfully. Now, look at what the Bible says again. "For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that we should follow in His steps: 'Who committed no sin, nor was deceit found in His mouth'; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously." (1 Peter 2:21-23) Do you see that? Why? Because there is no bitter envy in His heart. Naturally, that is why you notice the Bible says bitter envy is a kind of wisdom. Bitter envy is something that is earthly. Bitter envy is something that is sensual. Bitter envy is something that is demonic. Now, bitter envy is something that has to do with the wisdom of this world. You swap me, I slap you back, God no vex. "First to do" no be pain, "second to do" eye go red. You do me, I do you, God no vex. It's a philosophy. You slap me, then I slap you back. You will see this wisdom in what our Lord Jesus Christ also was raising with us in Matthew 5. In Matthew 5, the dynamics of this wisdom, this kind of earthly wisdom is also in Matthew 5. You will see it from verse 38. "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'" (Matthew 5:38) So, it is a kind of wisdom. Bitter envy is a kind of philosophy. An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. You curse me, I curse you. You do me, I do you. And it is a philosophy that was even in the religion of the Jews. It is a philosophy, it is a principle that was guiding the Jewish religion. The philosophy that is based on revenge is in your hand. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. So, bitter envy is a kind of philosophy. It is a kind of wisdom. It is a sensual way of looking at things emotionally. If somebody doesn't love you, you don't love the person. If somebody doesn't greet you, of course you don't feel like greeting. If somebody insults you, you don't feel happy. It is based on the way you feel. You just live your life based on the way you feel. "I just don't feel like talking to him because he does not talk to me. I don't feel like doing him good because he is not doing me good." I don't feel like. That's why the Bible says it is earthly, it is sensual. But the Bible now makes us to see that when things are earthly, when things are sensual, they actually have the tendency, the capacity to have satanic manipulations. Satan has a way of working anywhere you find bitter envy. Satan has a way of manipulating things. Satan has a way of interfering. Satan has a way of working in that atmosphere. So, when something is sensual, when something is earthly, then of necessity it will be demonic. Of necessity it will be demonic. There will be demonic interferences in it. So, you see that it's a philosophy. "You have heard, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." But look at the new philosophy that the Lord was bringing. What's the new philosophy? "But I tell you not to resist an evil person." (Matthew 5:39) Have you seen the new philosophy? The kingdom was bringing something that is not the usual one. Another type of wisdom is coming. There had been a wisdom in existence, but a new wisdom is coming. And the Lord Jesus is introducing that wisdom. The Lord Jesus is introducing that type of wisdom. Okay. And that type of wisdom, what is the wisdom? He says, "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person." Is this very easy? Is this very easy? Honestly it is not. Except you are not trying to be frank. Honestly it is not easy not to resist an evil person. But that is the new wisdom the Lord was introducing to the disciples. He was introducing something new. He said, "But whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other also to him." (Matthew 5:39) What is the Lord teaching us? He's teaching us that naturally, you have heard that it is a tooth for a tooth. What I want to make you understand, it is very natural to us. It is just emotionally rational, emotionally logical that we do a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye. It is just emotionally correct. We find this logic straight and that, it is just what it is. That is why you notice in what I sent out yesterday, I said bitter envy is something very common among couples. It's common. It's so difficult for your husband not to love you and you want to submit to him. It's so difficult for your wife not to submit to you and you want to love her. It's so difficult for your wife to slap you and you say, "Hallelujah, somebody thank the Lord! Somebody shout Hallelujah! Oh, my darling wife, how I love you." You know very well that what is going to follow that slap is "You slapped me!" So, you see bitter envy, don't let anybody try to behave as if it's a spirit. Let us not try to behave as if it is not something common among couples. But honestly it is a deadly mistake. It is something common, it is something with us. Because it is just natural. It is just logical. It is just what you follow. It is very much unlikely that I am driving and somebody says, "You idiot, is that how to drive?" and I just say, "The Lord bless you, my brother. The Lord..." it will take me acting against the natural. That is why the first characteristic of bitter envy is that it is earthly. It is something sensual, it's something natural. It's something with us. It's something with us. It is something that is consistently with us. It is something that is always with us. And so, if that is it, it becomes very, very, very important for us to look at it, for us to look around it, for us to look into it. Now, he says, "But I tell you, don't resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic," do you know what that means? Somebody wants to sue you, what the person wants to take is just a little. What's the new philosophy? Give even the whole thing. Let me give a very simple translation for that. If you are ordered to court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat also. I don't know if you are getting that. Beloved, let us be practical. The average believer today, except we are careful, except we are watchful, except we are sober, except we are diligent with our Christian life, we constantly fall victim of bitter envy. It is a deceptive sin. It is a sin that easily entangles us. It is something that is constantly with us. Yet the Bible is making us to feel that as much as it is with us, it is a common mistake but it is a deadly mistake. It's common but deadly. The implication of that is that as often as we find it, is as often as we should deal with it. It’s as often as we should not allow it to thrive. If you are ordered to court, the person who orders you is asking for your shirt, he says give your coat too. Look at the next thing. "Whoever compels you to go one mile, go two miles with him." (Matthew 5:41) What the person is doing is something that is requiring one mile. Now, what I’m trying to make you see is this. The Lord Jesus is telling us that we should give allowance, not only that we should not have bitter envy, but that even in the face of somebody doing what is wrong to us, evil to us, we should be ready to even do good. Because the person is asking for the shirt, he says give the person the coat also. The person is asking for a mile, what should you do? Give two miles. Now, having said that, he now mentioned again, "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." (Matthew 5:43-45) So, if your wife is persecuting you, what are you supposed to do to her? If your husband is persecuting you, what are you to do to her? What are you to do to him? If you come to discover that your husband is your enemy, what are you to do to him? You discover your wife is your enemy, what are you to do to her? If your wife curses you, what are you to do to her? Bless her. If your husband curses you, what are you to do to him? Bless him. But the people that can do this are those who have dealt with bitter envy. The reason why you are not able to do this is that there is bitter envy in your heart. Bitter envy is something today that is operating in believers. Bitter envy today is something that is not making marriages to be stable. Bitter envy today is something that is going on. And honestly, like I said in what I wrote yesterday, I said our first marriage forum for the year will focus on bitter envy. Bitter envy is natural and very common phenomenon among couples. However, the implications are quite costly. Many relationships are sick, if not dead, on account of bitter envy. Honestly, the implications are costly. The implications are costly and please let me tell you one thing that you need to realize. One thing you need to realize is this. I’m pleading with you, I want you to understand this, I want you to know it, I want you to be able to relate to it. Listen to me. What is making you not to do good to your spouse is not the evil that your spouse is doing to you. No. What is making you not to do good to your spouse when your spouse does what you count as evil, you count as something that pains, you count as compelling you, you count as a curse, you count as a persecution—what is making you not to be able to do good is not the evil they are doing. It is the root of bitter envy that is in you. Many times you will say, "What is causing problem in this marriage is what my spouse is doing." No, that's what I'm trying to make you understand. What is causing the problem in your marriage is not what that evil your spouse is doing. What is causing the problem in your marriage is that you have allowed evil to grow and grow and grow. Let me tell you one thing. Once the seed of evil first comes into the marriage, it will come as a pinhole. Something small. Maybe, "Can't you see, look, I don't like this thing." The person just spoke to you in a way that you don't like. Very small. Then what happens? You return the evil for evil. "Don't be stupid, don't speak like that again to me, I'm your husband." You have returned with evil. Now, the spouse wants to return with another evil. "And so what if you are my husband, is that why you should be shouting on me, you idiot?" Now, what I'm making you see is that as evil is being sown, what happens? Evil is multiplying. What makes the evil overwhelming is that you are reaping harvest from what you are sowing. Because it is not the way you sow it that you will get it back. You will get it back. Oh, something just came to my mind now. He says, "Give and it will be given back to you." (Luke 6:38) Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will men give to your bosom. Now many times, we put money there. But please, it's not only about money, it's about anything. Give and it will be given back to you. How? Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will men give to your bosom. Now by the time you say, "Don't be stupid, I don't like that," when it wants to come, that person wants to give it back, it will come with "You must be mad, don't speak to me that way." If it wants to come back the way it has gone, it will come in a higher way than that. That's what overwhelmed your marriage. It is the harvest of evil doing that is overwhelming your marriage. The harvest. So, the point is this. When evil comes, when error comes, when offenses come, when mistakes come, when things that annoy you come, they just come as a pinhole. Depending on what you give back, you know what happens? They become a foothold. A pinhole on your marriage, a foothold on your relationship. Depending on what is given back again, it becomes a stronghold. Depending on what is given back, you see, that is how it goes. And at a point, it will become "We are irreconcilable," another statement we normally make. "We are not compatible in any way at all." You begin to ask the question: People who courted themselves for three years, have been in marriage for three years or for four years or five years, suddenly became not compatible. So what happened? What was the thing that pulled them together in the first place in the days of courtship? What was the thing that held them together in the first five years of the marriage? You know what they did to those things? They have with their own hands uprooted those things out of their marriage and thrown them away. What they now have left is harvest of evil upon evil. It now becomes "We are not compatible in any way." What I’m trying to say, brethren, what I’m trying to say, brethren, is that we must understand something. When the Lord Jesus Christ was introducing this kingdom, He came with another kind of wisdom. A wisdom that is heavenly. There is a wisdom with which we are running our marriage. That wisdom is based on what is natural to us, what is sensible to us. But those things that are natural and sensible to us, honestly they are also demonic. What is the connection between that which is natural and sensible and demonic wisdom? Look at it in Ephesians 2. Ephesians 2, see the connection so that you can get it very clearly. Ephesians 2, I read from verse 1. "And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air," are you seeing that? "the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience. Among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath." (Ephesians 2:1-3) So you see that when we are fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of our natural mind, whom are we working according to? We are working according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that works in the children of disobedience. So anywhere things are natural and sensual, they are also demonic. Many couples have allowed the devil to take over their marriage by bitter envy. Bitter envy is something that is natural to you, but the Bible is making us to see that the source of it is the devil. The originator, it originated from the devil. Don't forget, let me show you. Do you notice that before sin, before they sinned, before they ate that thing that Satan deceived them and they ate—do you notice that there was nothing like "It is the woman you gave me," "It is the serpent that did it"? That issue of looking for a way to justify your wrong. Instead of Adam to say, "I am sorry I ate it," what did he say? He said, "the woman you gave me." What I’m trying to make you see is that the source of bitter envy in our life is sin. The source of bitter envy, that thing operating in our heart, came as a result of the work of the devil. And everywhere you still see it operating, you may say, "And that is how I see it. He can't slap me and go away with it. How will my husband not love me and then you are telling me to submit to him? I am going to show him too." It looks natural. It looks logical. It looks okay. It looks simple. Those who are listening to you will tell you, "Of course, why not? If not..." Why? Because it is a philosophy of this world. It is a principle of this world. The philosophy is "You have heard an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." But I tell you. So there was a philosophy, it is something that governed our human existence. And that is why we naturally fall into it. We naturally do it. We naturally have bitter envy in us. It is something that has been with us. It is something we must deliberately deal with as believers. It is something we must deliberately, consciously deal with. Look, it is not your spouse that gave you that problem. It is sin that gave you the problem. And I'm telling you, it is not the evil that your spouse is doing that is making you to do evil. It is the problem of sin that you have. It is your own problem that is giving you problem. To us, it looks logically it is the other person that is giving you problem. "He slapped me, that's why I slapped back," no. He slapped you. You are slapping back because you have a problem. What is your problem? Bitter envy. If you don't have bitter envy, when he slapped you, you know what you would have done? You would have turned the other one. And you now say, "Ah, will that not mean that this person will be taking me for granted? Will that not mean that evil will multiply? Will that not mean that this and this and this and this and this?" Look at it. Look at it. That is where we miss it. Let's go back. Let's look at something in that Matthew that we were reading. "Whoever compels you to go one mile, go two miles with him. Give to him who asks of you, and from him who wants to borrow do not turn away. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust." (Matthew 5:41-45) The first thing, let me tell you one thing. The first thing you need to do about life is to be sure, if you are a Christian, is to be sure you position yourself as a child of God. It may be looking as if you are defenseless. You will now understand what it means when the Bible says "Touch not my prophet." If they had known, they would not have crucified. They would not have crucified who? They would not have crucified the Lord of Glory. They would not have crucified the Lord of Glory. They would not have crucified the Lord of Glory. Now look at something. Do you know that when we remove bitter envy—what I'm trying to make you see from scripture is that over time, the person who thinks he prospers in evil will realize that if he had actually, if the person actually had understanding, he wouldn't have in any way. Notice that the princes of this world, they came back to regret. The princes of this world, they came back to suffer loss. You see, when you stand with God, you are the majority. The person who thinks he prospers... and that is why you notice that I began from that Psalm 37. I began from that point to bring the matter to you. Look at what that scripture says in Psalm 37 that we read earlier when we started. Psalm 37 from verse 1: "Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity." Don't envy them. Don't try to do what they do. Don't try to repeat. He said you are stupid, don't try to tell him he's stupid. He's selfish, you don't be selfish. Don't be envious of them. Don't let bitter envy take over you. Look at what he says: "For they shall soon be cut down." They shall soon be cut down. Nobody takes God to battle and win. I'm telling you, nobody takes God to battle and win. For Jehovah is a man of war. Jehovah doesn't lose battle. But you see when you don't allow your battle to be God's battle, that is when it happens that you suffer loss. It says "For they shall soon be cut down and wither as green herb. Trust in the Lord, do good, dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desire of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, wait patiently for Him. Do not fret yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, forsake wrath. Do not fret—it only causes harm." (Psalm 37:2-8) When you return evil for evil, you only harm your own self. It causes harm. You will also harm yourself. You'll be doing yourself harm. Look at the scripture. It says, "For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait on the Lord shall inherit the earth." (Psalm 37:9) The summary of the matter, that's the summary. And that's where we are closing the meeting for today. The summary of the matter is that if we patiently deal with bitter envy in our heart, if we patiently deal with bitter envy in our heart, if we deliberately and prayerfully deal with it, if anytime you find yourself trying to envy the wicked, trying to do what they do, you quickly confess, you repent, you turn away, tell yourself "I have made mistake," go back and turn away and do good. As often as we do that, what I’m trying to make you see is that the summary is that you will inherit the earth. You will be the one to win the battle. You will be on the winning side. I'm telling you today, if you are that person who has been involved in the common mistake, the common mistake, this deadly mistake is so common among us. It's so common with Christian couples. It's a very, very common thing. But I'm telling you, that thing that is common is deadly. Why is it deadly? It is earthly. It is sensual. It is demonic. What makes it deadly is that it is earthly, it is sensual, it is demonic. It allows demonic activities. It promotes satanic manipulation in your marriage. It allows Satan to have a sway over your home. It allows Satan to have a grip over your children. It allows Satan to have a grip over your job. It allows Satan to have a grip over whatever you are doing. It brings satanic operation. Many times people begin to see satanic manipulation in their life and they begin to wonder, where is it coming from? They begin to wonder how. You see masquerade chasing you in your dream. You see that happening to you in this. You see yourself having sex in dream. You see yourself having some satanic attack in your health. I'm telling you, many of these things that happen sometimes, it's not "ta ni mo se" (who did I offend?). Who did I? Many times, your bitter envy opens the door of your life to the devil. It connects you with devil. The Bible says they walk according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now works in the children of disobedience. Everybody who is disobeying God is giving room for the devil. You are allowing demonic manipulation over your life. You might be thinking that, "Yes, I'm giving that person back, I'm paying him back." Yes, he slapped me, I slapped him back. "You know what, my husband thinks he knows how to do it. He gave me two, I gave him four. Me, I'm a strong woman." Or it may be the other way. "My wife thinks that she knows how to be stubborn. By the time I withdraw this, I withdraw that, she will learn her lesson." By the time I give her all kinds of financial whipping, emotional whipping, psychological whipping, her head will be correct. You are thinking you are returning evil. What you don't understand is that you also open the gate of your own life to the devil. You opened your marriage to the devil. You opened your home to the devil. You are opening the gate. Many demonic activities today in your life, in your marriage, in your circumstances, why you don't see divine intervention, why you don't see God working for you, why you don't see God availing for you? Instead of experiencing providence of mercy, you are experiencing providence of ill luck, providence of evil. Anytime you want to do this thing, this thing happens. Many times they are product of bitter envy. Anywhere you are listening to me, reposition your life today. The person who keeps doing evil is the person who will suffer evil. The person who no matter the condition continues to do good will reap a harvest of good. The Bible says, "Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that is what he will reap." (Galatians 6:7) If today you make up your mind no matter what I experience from anybody, I will keep doing good, I'm telling you, you're also positioning your life to ever seen good. But if in any way you are doing evil, you're also positioning your life to reap a harvest of evil. And that is why the Bible warns us as I close this morning. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3. Let us read it together. 1 Peter 3, I will read from around verse 8. "Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous. Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion one for another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous. Be on your guard. Be tenderhearted, be courteous. Be wise, be smart. I’m telling you, be a smart person. What is the smartness? Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing, knowing that you were called to this. That’s your Christian call. You are called to this, that you may inherit a blessing." (1 Peter 3:8-9) When you lose your calling, you lose your blessing. When you throw away your calling, you throw away your blessing. You are called to this, that you may do what? Inherit a blessing. Brother, sister, smarten up. Your wife may be doing evil, as a husband, do good. Your husband may be doing evil, as a wife, do good. Make up your mind, I will repay this person with good. Make up your mind, watch against bitter envy. Don't envy the evildoer. Look at what the Bible says: "For He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers." (1 Peter 3:10-12) Don't you think God will... look, I’m showing you express way for answered prayers. "But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." So don't let anybody turn the face of the Lord against you. And look at what the Bible says: "And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good?" (1 Peter 3:13) No matter what that person is doing, it will eventually work out for your good. No matter what that person is doing. Everything Joseph's brothers did, everything they did, their hatred, their bitterness, their evil plan, their wickedness, their heartlessness, their selfishness, everything they did—their betrayal. A betrayal. Your brother is weeping and they are laughing and eating. And he was begging them. All of all those things, what did all of them become? They became part and parcel of God's purpose for his life. They advanced him to glory. When you continually return good to the evildoer, you are being advanced toward glory. I pray for you, you will not lose your inheritance. Let us pray this morning. Bitter envy is a common mistake among couples. But I want to challenge you today as a wife or as a husband. I’m challenging you if you are listening to me. And if you are not yet married, you are looking towards marriage, I’m challenging you. Be with this attitude before you enter into marriage. Be with it. Ask the Lord to help you. God Almighty, I will not miss my inheritance. I will not sow, I will not sow seed that will make me see evil in this life. Anybody that desires good and don't want to see evil in this life, then let him continually do good. Because if you do any kind of evil, one way or the other, you will reap evil. You may say somebody made you to do the evil, but one way or the other, you too you will see evil in this life. If you don't want to see evil, no matter what people do to you, make up your mind. It’s a principle of life. I will repay them with good. I will repay them with good. I will do good. I will do good. What you are doing is that look, you are telling yourself, in this life I will not see evil. That is what you are saying. No, make up your mind. Be smart in this life. This life is so full of evil. Smarten up in your mind. The reason why evil is everywhere is that men don't cease to do evil. And they will keep reaping harvest of evil. When you sow good measure, pressed down will come back again. You may do it for somebody's child, somebody will come out to do it to your own child. You may do it to someone, it will come back to you. You may do it to your wife, it will come back again to you in your office. You may oppress your wife at home, your employer may oppress you in the office. Look, it will come back one way or the other. That evil you are doing will come back to you. It will come back to you. You may be holding somebody down because of what he did to you. Some way, somehow, life will hold you down. Because you must reap that harvest of the evil that you are doing. Pray to God. Pray to God. God, help me. Bitter envy is a deadly mistake. It looks sweet at the beginning, but it’s a deadly mistake. It’s a deadly mistake that you are making. Husband hearing me, wife hearing me, the unmarried hearing me, it’s a deadly mistake that you are making. Make up your mind today "I will not go this way, I will not go this way, I will not go this way again in life." And if there are things that you have been doing, ask God for mercy. If you have been doing evil to people, of course they did you evil. They did what is evil to you, and somehow you have been paying them back with evil. Ask God to have mercy on you today. Look, it’s about your own life. It’s about your life. Ask God to have mercy on you and make up your mind. All of those people, look for how you look for them, either in the place of prayer, in the place of taking action, begin to do them good. They may be looking "Ah, what is going on?" Just make up your mind. Bless them. Bless them. Pray for them. Do them good. When you have opportunity, do good. Look for them, do good to them. Make up your mind. It’s about this principle. It’s a wisdom of God. It’s a wisdom that descends from heaven. It is strange to the wisdom of this world. They don't understand it. They don't know it. They cannot operate it. It is only for children of God. Because the natural man can only live a natural life. It takes a spiritual man to follow this life. The carnal mind will remain carnal. It's an enemy of God. It cannot subject to the spirit of God. But if you who have the spirit of God that can go this way of life. Are you a Christian? This is your way of life. You have been called to this. It's your Christian calling. It's our Christian call. Pray to God. "Lord, I want to live as a Christian. I don't want to live like earthly men. I don't want to live like natural men. I don't want to live like other men. I want to live like a Christian. I want to live the Christian life." This is my Christian call. This is my call. Because God wants us to always encounter good. That is why He makes it our Christian call. That as we live our Christian life, we will not see evil. Pray to God today that "I will live my Christian life. Lord, I will live the Christian life. I will not live like natural men. I will not live like men governed by their emotions. No, I will not go the way of the earth. I will not go the way of natural men. I will not live like natural men. I will not live like the men of this world. I will not be carnally minded. I will not fulfill the lusts of my mind. No, I will go the way of God. I will submit my mind to the things of God, the principles of God." Thank you, Father. Blessed be Your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let me invite Tomi to close the meeting for us. Come and close the meeting for us. [Speaker 3] Father, we are very grateful to You for the privilege and opportunity to be in Your presence once again as living souls in 2024. Thank You, Lord, for our homes. Thank You, Lord, for our marriages. Thank You, Lord, for keeping us thus far. Lord, we pray. We have learned of bitter envy this morning. We ask, oh God, that You will cause every root of bitterness in our heart as individuals to wither and dry up, to be uprooted from today, in the name of Jesus. Amen. Where there is no root, where there is nothing that can take hold, it will no longer stand. We therefore ask, oh God, that every root of bitterness, every seed that has been sown that has grown, that has taken hold and that is manifesting—Lord, we ask, they wither, they dry up and are uprooted from our heart today in the name of Jesus. Amen. That Lord God Almighty, the seed of grace that has been sown, the seed of righteousness, Lord, will begin to be entrenched where bitterness was before in the name of Jesus. Amen. That Lord God Almighty, we will no longer sow evil but Lord we will sow good and we will reap goodness in the name of Jesus. Amen. Lord God Almighty, we ask that the grace to live as believers, to live as children of God, to live as them that know that the Lord is the one that contends for us. The Lord is our defender. The Lord is our shield. Oh God, help us to live in the truth of Your word in this year. Your word that says that You will fight for us and we will hold our peace. Your word that says that You are the God that defends us. Abba, we ask that You will help us to live in the reality of all the truth in Your word. Amen. That we will live as believers. Amen. We will live as Christians. Amen. That when things come to us that are evil, Lord, we will not return evil for evil anymore in the name of Jesus. Amen. But as children of God, we will return good for evil in every instance. Amen. Every and all instances. Amen. Both in marriage and in our daily living. Amen. We will learn to return good for evil. Amen. And Lord, we will see Your hand at work for us by reason of this change of attitude in the name of Jesus. Amen. Thank You, Jehovah. Thank You, Lord. Blessed be Your name. Hallelujah. Bless every God Marriage Forum this year. We pray, oh God, You will hold us completely. Amen. Till the end of 2024. Amen. And thank You, Lord, for the vessel that You have used and You are using. That Lord God Almighty, You will continue to uphold him. Amen. The oil of anointing will not dry up. He will continue to be effectual in the name of Jesus. Amen. Lord, You continually be upon Family Tent Ministry. Amen. Lord, we pray this ministry will grow. Amen. This ministry will have impact in the lives of individuals and the lives of nations in the name of Jesus. Amen. Thank You, Jehovah. For in Jesus' name we have prayed. Amen. Let’s share the grace in fellowship. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us now and forevermore. Amen. [Speaker 1] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission aid. Our regular activities are: discipleship class, every Monday 5:00 PM; adolescent and singles club, every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; marriage forum, second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outreaches, and every day counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp, by the first bridge, Iloro community, opposite Rejoice filling station along Igede-Ekiti road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 080-338-611-36, 070-336-138-48. God bless you all. [Music]