Life and Your Marriage (4)

[Intro music/Hymn] [Speaker 1] Glory and honor and power and might be unto the Lord forever and ever. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Blessings and glory, wisdom, thanksgiving and honor, power and might be unto the Lord forever and ever. Amen. We are gathering together unto thee. We are gathering together unto thee. Unto the Lord shall the gathering of his people be. We are gathering together unto thee. We want to thank the Lord again for this time together. We give him glory. We give him praise. We give him honor. We give him adoration. Honestly, it has been God. It is still God, and it will yet be God. We thank him again for keeping us through to the second Saturday in the month of May, the Saturday for our Marriage Forum. As we gather today, we trust in the Lord that his spirit will work in our midst. We who are here physically, our brethren who are joining us online, either on Telegram or Mixlr, we trust the Lord that as we all connect together, the Lord will meet each and every one of us in the name of Jesus Christ. Let us have a word of prayer as we begin this morning. Let me invite our sister Tobi to take the prayer. Please take the opening prayer for us. [Speaker 2] In Jesus' name. Our righteous Father, we thank you for the privilege to be here in your presence this morning. Be thou exalted in Jesus' name. Lord, we pray that even as we go into your word this morning, Lord, we pray that you reveal yourself to us in the name of Jesus. Father Lord, we pray that you will use the speaker for us this morning in Jesus' name. Lord, we pray that we the hearers will hear what you want us to hear this morning in Jesus' name. That you speak, you speak to us in Jesus' name, and we will take your word to use in Jesus' name. Thank you Father because at the end of this program, we will have the full cause to give glory to your name. For in Jesus' mighty name we have prayed. Amen. [Speaker 1] Thank you so much. So, let us take it from where we left it last month. We have been looking at this topic. This is the fourth edition: Life and Your Marriage. I do tell people—somebody was asking me that is it a forum just for couples? I said no. We did not say couples forum. We said Marriage Forum. Whether you are married or you are about to be married or you are single and you want to know about marriage, it is a forum for you. It is just a forum where we learn about marriage. It is not a couples forum. We were deliberate about the use of words. That is why we said Marriage Forum. In this forum, we are moving to the fourth episode of Life and Your Marriage. We have been able to define what life is in the first episode. We have been able to look at what is God's recipe to life in that episode. We have been able to emphasize that Jesus actually came so that we can have life and have it abundantly. So, that life that Jesus came to offer should be something that should be in your marriage. If something is abundant—if Jesus came to offer something and he is offering it abundantly—that thing should be in your marriage. We have been able to look through episode one, episode two, episode three. In episode three, we were looking at—we have started the recipe one after the other. The recipe, we took our Bible text in Psalm 34. We have been looking at each of those instructions for anybody that wants to enjoy life in his or her marriage life. Let us go to that place. Let us see what we have already considered and then what we are to move to today. In Psalm 34, which is our main text, which we have been looking at vis-à-vis 1 Peter 3, where that text was referred to very specifically. The same Psalm 34 was quoted by Peter in 1 Peter 3. So, Psalm 34, we began to look at the matter from verse 11. "Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good?" Do you love life? Do you desire many days? Do you want to see good? He said then what you need to do is to keep your tongue from evil. We have looked through that in the earlier episode. And your lips from speaking lies. We have looked through that in the earlier episode. Depart from evil and do good. That is where we were. That is where we stopped in the last episode. In the April edition, we were looking at what it means to depart from evil. That if you must enjoy life in your marriage, if you must see good in your married life—if you are in a relationship and you want to enjoy life in that relationship, you want to see good in your relationship, you want a relationship where you can have many days, you are trusting God that your days with your spouse will be long, it will not be cut short, it will not be suddenly terminated. You hear all that so much today on social media. Mrs. This killed Mr. That. Mr. That cut off the hand of Mrs. That. Mrs. That used the pestle to break the head of her husband. Too many kind of bad reports. It now looks as if the marriage life is a place where you either prepare to live or die, which is not supposed to be so. God raised marriage for a very important purpose. By the time we are through with this episode, we will be looking at God's intent in saying it is not good for man to be alone. That will be our next topic. What God really intended in marriage as against what we are seeing today, what people are experiencing. It is unfortunate. What is making that to be there is that people are not looking at God's recipe for life. There are people who are married today who do not keep their tongue from evil. If you want to know what that means, please go and look at episode one and two. You will know what all those things mean. What does it mean to keep your tongue from evil when you are in a relationship or when you are married? Many people do not keep their tongue from evil. Some are in relationships today, some are married, and they do not keep their lip from telling lies. Anybody who tells lies can never enjoy life in his marriage, can never see good in his marriage. No, this is not a curse. It is just the consequence of your action. It is not just praying, "God, my marriage will be sweet, my marriage will be well." No. There are actions to take. There are things to do. The Bible says if you are willing and you are obedient. There are principles to follow. It is not just daydreaming, "My marriage will be sweet. Oh, I trust God for a wonderful marriage. I pray my husband will love me. I pray my wife will be somebody that will be faithful to me." No. There are things to do. And that is what we are looking at: God's recipe for life in our marriage. We have come to the fourth edition, which is a continuity because we could not finish "depart from evil" in the April edition. We have been able to define what evil is in April. We have been able to see that the matter begins with an attitude in the heart. The kind of heart that we have. We stopped the matter—please let us go to Matthew 5. That was where we were using to consider what evil is when the Bible says depart from evil. When you are in a relationship, what is evil and how do you depart from it? Please if you were not with us in our April edition, please go to our website www.familytentministry.org and listen to the episode three. It is very important for you to listen to that episode so that you can follow up with us today. Now, in Matthew 5, the text that we are considering when the Bible was talking about evil, we have been able to go through chapter 5 from verse 1 through to verse 24, 25. We were already at verse 28 when we were looking at what evil is. It is from verse 29 I want to pick it today. What does it mean to depart from evil? We are continuing from where we stopped. We saw that evil—last month—evil is an attitude in the heart. Evil is first the kind of heart that a man has, not what he does. What heart do you have? What attitude do you have towards marriage? Evil is also not having an attitude of having your marriage as your treasure. So, we move on trying to look at evil. Verse 29. It says, "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you than one member perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell." In concluding verse 28 about lust—the matter of 29 is reflecting on 28. Jesus has said that he who lusts after a woman commits adultery with the woman. And we said being in your relationship and not having the whole of your emotions and your heart in your relationship is evil. If you are somebody who plays double standards, you give somebody your heart, you give another person your body. You give one person your emotion, you give another person your commitment. It is evil. You give one person your commitment, you give another person your investment. It is evil. For Jesus, everything about relationship should be in that person that you have chosen. Your emotion, your investment, your commitment, your desires, everything. If everything about you is not totally in that single person you chose, then you are an evil person. Everything. You must bring all into that basket. If all is not in one basket—if all is in some other basket—some people give their emotion to their husband but they give their commitment to their mother. Some people give their commitment to their wife but give their emotion to their father. It is not correct. Everything about relationship should be one. And what Jesus was saying in verse 29, in rounding it up, is that if your right hand will cause you to sin or your left hand—what he is saying is that whatever will not make you to put all your investment into one person should be cut off. Because that thing you are doing is evil. Whatever will make you to do evil, it is better to cut it off. If there is a friend who wants to be only your friend and not the friend of you and your husband, not the friend of you and your wife—he only wants to be your friend—or you are in a relationship, there is this person that only wants to be your friend, not in relationship with your fiance or your fiancee, he only wants to be relating to you, he does not want to see how to relate to both of you together—cut off such a person. Whoever is not supporting that relationship, whoever is tearing it, no matter what that person is, that person should be set aside. That thing should be set aside because that thing is evil. If your eye—if it is not single—then your eye is evil. Go and check it. Jesus said if your eye is single, your body will be full of light. But if your eye is evil, then it will be full of darkness. There are people who are double dating. You are dating Sister Bola and you are also dating Sister Bose all along. You are still trying to carry the two of them along to know which one you will finally choose. You are an evil person. So, whether you are inside marriage and you are looking at a woman lustfully, or you are not inside—you are about to enter—but all your commitment is not in one person, you are divided and scattered, you are an evil person. If you go into a relationship, go into it with everything that you have. Don't put one leg in, one leg out. And that is why I tell people, whatever you want to do, who are you taking your bearing from? Are you a Christian? Is God the one leading you? Or you are an unbeliever? "Let me first try Sister Bola. If it is not working well, I will now try Sister Bisi." Those are unbelievers who do not have God as their shepherd. But those who are the sons of God, who are the children of God, they are led by the spirit of God. And if God is leading you to a brother, God is leading you to a sister, then what you are supposed to do—having done all the necessary thing—you have reported to those who you are responsible to. You enter your relationship the way you should enter. Christian relationship is an open relationship. It is not a hidden thing. Everybody is aware. Your pastor, your discipler, those you are accountable to, they are aware. They know. Your siblings are aware. They will ask, "What about Sister This? What about Brother That?" Christian relationship is a relationship with responsibility. It is not something secret. If you have entered, then you enter with all your heart. Anybody who is not entering relationship with all his heart, anybody who is married and is not giving all of his life to the person he is married to, is an evil person. The Bible says turn from evil. And Jesus is saying whatever will not make you to give your all into your marriage, that thing will send you to hell fire. Then cut that thing off. Because God is the author of marriage. And anybody who is doing anything to scatter anybody's marriage is an evil person. Anything in your life that is not making your marriage to work, that thing in you, that thing in you is evil. Cast it out. Remove it. Because God wants marriage to work. God hates divorce. It is very important. So, that is how Jesus concluded the matter of double standard, double dating, being in one and giving attention to another. The Lord is saying whatever will make you to be like that, cut it off. Whether it is about you or about somebody, that thing or that person should be cut off. Now, he went ahead to talk about for those who already married. He said, "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.'" That was the old thing. "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." Again, you have heard that it was said. And now, please let me say something in leaving this place. It is important for you to note something very, very strong here. Very, very, very strong. And let me quickly comment on that. Even though my emphasis here is for you to see that God hates divorce. But somebody have raised a matter that what about this case that Jesus raised that for sexual immorality? And this is my response. I will give a response now because that's not what I'm facing specifically. But let me just give a general response for now. If you have a specific question you can raise on the platform about it. But let me say this. Please it is important to get something very clear. That the Bible in talking about sexual immorality, the Bible is not talking about a situation when somebody falls into sin. It is very, very important. Maybe I should make what I'm saying very clear. The Bible says two are better than one. They will have a good reward for their labor. If one fall, what will the other do? The other will lift him up. The other will lift her up. So, the intention of God is that in marriage, if one fall, the other should lift up. So, if there is a case of—when the Bible says if a brother or a sister is overtaken in a fault, what did the Bible say we should do? He said we who are spiritual should restore the person. We should seek for how to restore when somebody falls into sin. You see, when a Christian falls into sin, a Christian don't remain in sin. A Christian repent from sin. A Christian run away from sin. And let me say this. If two people are actually together and they are living their married life the way God wants them to live it together, if one fall into the sin of sexual immorality, I tell you the truth, the next thing that will be in the heart of the partner is not divorce. It will be how did this happen? It will be did I contribute to this in any way? The first thing will be about restoration. It will be about, but why? It will be about forgiveness. It will be about how do I restore? So, I want you to get something clear. Jesus is not saying that if my spouse fall into sexual immorality, the next thing I should do is to divorce the person. That's not what he is saying. That's not what he is saying. You must be able to relate this scripture with several other scriptures in the Bible where the Bible talks about believer, when a believer fall into sin. When we are talking of sexual immorality, you must get something clear that it is very, very, very, very synchronous with Jesus that what God ordained in marriage is that a man leave father and mother, is joined to his wife. And when he's joined to his wife, what God has joined together let no man separate. Now, the point there, therefore, is that ordinarily, you don't talk about Christians and sexual immorality. Am I correct? Am I correct? So, sexual immorality is not a part of a Christian life. If it happens, it will happen in an extreme situation in which a brother, a wife fall into sin or a husband fall into sin. And when the Bible says is that he who confesses his sin shall be shown what? Shall be shown mercy. So, we are talking about immorality—we are talking about immorality in reprobacy. When somebody fall into sin and the person chooses to continue in sin, and the person chooses—[background noise]—that is exactly the matter that we are looking at. Please it is very, very important to note that. Very, very important to note. Because somebody has said that does it mean that if I am in a very good—if my husband or my wife mistakenly fall into sin, I should never forgive? I should not forgive? Does it mean that Jesus is saying that once that happens, I should just throw the person away? Look, let me tell you the truth. The Bible says love forgive all sins. There is no sin that love cannot forgive. That is the truth about it. So, please the matter here is the matter of sinfulness in reprobacy. And I keep saying when immorality become a reprobacy, then there is a problem with the foundation because the Bible says he that is born of God cannot continue in sin. I will leave that as I move on on what we are to focus on. It is because I read that verse of the scripture. That is why I could just quickly have to say something to that. But if you have a specific question about that, we can always note it and we can make it a subject of discussion, a topic of itself. Jesus and the matter of sexual immorality and marriage. What exactly is the matter saying? We can look at that. Now, my concern is trying to establish turning from evil and I am trying to get at evil. That's my focus that brought me to this place. So, I want us to just trace and trace and trace the matter of evil so that we don't lose our focus. He said turn from evil. Now, I'm going to verse 44. I'm going to verse 33. He says, "Again you have heard that it was said." So, for me, please note that divorce is evil. Please note that. Nursing divorce, planning divorce, insisting on divorce, going the way of divorce is something that heaven is against. It is something that we must deliberately work on so that we don't think that if my wife just do this or my wife do that, or this is done or that is done, my wife did not talk to me well, my wife cannot cook, I don't like the personality of my husband, my husband people did that, my... All of you may think to your widest imagination. Jesus did not talk about any exception. I want you to know that except on immoral matters. So, think to your widest imagination. Think to your widest imagination. I just want you to see how much nursing divorce in our heart, going into marriage and having an intention that I will quickly get out if it is not working—how evil that attitude is. Now, let's move on. It says, "Again you have heard that it has been said to those of old, 'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.' But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God's throne; nor by earth, for it is his footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." Do you know what the Lord is saying here? If you are in a relationship and you don't always mean what you say, and you don't say what you mean, you are doing evil. If you are in a relationship, you don't always say what you mean and you don't always mean what you say—don't worry, don't worry, I will do this for you—and you are just flattering the person. Christians don't flatter. Christians don't flatter. Please, if you are married, don't flatter your husband. If you are married, don't flatter your wife. If you are not married and you are in a relationship, don't flatter the person, your fiance or your fiancee. When you are saying something, let your yes be your yes. Let your no be your no. Be a woman and a man of integrity. When you say, "Dear, I will do this thing for you," be like God. The Bible says God does not fail. God watches over his word to perform it. When you say something to the person you are in relationship with—okay, I will do this; okay, I will try and make sure this is done; okay, I promise you, we will be doing this—please be saying the things you mean. Don't just say things because you just want to get the person to forget a matter. "Say, ah don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. Ah, don't worry, tomorrow I will buy it." Mind you, you don't mean it. People who do such things, they are doing evil. Always be intentional about your words. The reason why so many people are not enjoying life in their marriage is because of these things. They are not intentional with their words. So, over time, when they tell their spouse or their fiance, "Don't worry, I will get this done," the person will say, "Hmm, Gaga Biterno. Like you said yesterday. Abeg, that's how you normally talk." Have you that kind of a person? That's why I tell people, the nature of an individual should not be measured by what they do to you in particular, but what they do to people generally. Let me explain that. Let me explain that. See, let me tell you something. You see, people who are truly—people who have integrity, who are truly kind, people who are who are truly bearing the fruit of the spirit—patience, kindness, goodness—which is what we need in marriage, faithfulness. Please I want to tell you something. If you are not married yet, you are single, you are in a relationship with somebody, some of the—I am trying to make you know how to understand red flag. How to know people who will not bring life into their marriage. How you can identify them. Please note something. If somebody is in relationship with you and he is unusually kind to you, but when he relates with other people, he is not kind to them, it is a lie. The person is doing it to you because he just want to use it to win you. That is not who the person is. If somebody is truly kind, it will not just be to only the person he's in relationship with. You will see it in all the person's relationship. If somebody truly has integrity, and you notice that when he comes to you he does not tell lie, but when he's dealing with his colleagues in the office, while you are there, he says something, he says, "Ah but—say ah don't worry, if you don't tell them like that, they will not you just let go." Ah, it is a red flag for you. It is a red flag for you. What somebody is should not be specific to an individual. What somebody is is who that person is to any individual. So, when the person now gets into marriage, the person will now be somebody who is not doing it to you because of something he want to gain from you. No. But that is who the person is. Because we don't do good to our spouse because we want to gain something from them. No. We do it because that is who we are. I am kind, I am good, I am loving, I am helpful. I'm not doing it because I'm expecting a return. "Ehen, ehen, I've done one, you must you must also do one. If you does not do one, I will stop my one." That is not how to run a relationship. So, it is very important for you to note it. Sincerity with your words. Integrity with your words. People who just say things, who just speak, who just talk anyhow, make promises that they don't mean, they just say things—"Ah don't worry, don't worry, ah you said you like car abeg? Don't worry, as we marry I will just buy you two cars. Ehen, you said, don't worry, ah"—people who just talk like that who don't really mean the things they say, they are doing evil. We must be intentional with our words in our relationship. When you are not intentional like this in your relationship, then you will not enjoy life in your relationship. You must turn from evil. Turn from evil is very important if you want to enjoy life in your relationship. Be a man who say what you mean, who mean what you say. And then, the Lord moves on to the final thing about evil. To the final matter about evil. You can see the number of things that are evil. That's why I said please, if you have not been with us from last week—from last month edition—please go and pick it. We started the matter of turning from evil in last month edition so that you can know everything that is evil. Evil is evil when the Bible is defining evil. Evil is not just that somebody who is wicked. No, no, no, no, no. There are a lot of things we do that are evil that we don't know. And as a result we don't enjoy our relationship. We don't enjoy our marriage. We don't enjoy relationship with our spouses. I've seen people who started together and the reason why the relationship did not end well was that the other person began to notice that the person he's dealing with is not always sincere with me. By the time we were trying to discuss with them, the person was saying that no, you see, it is that... The person began to feel that the other person is cutting off relationship, he has no intention not to go on. But I told the person that look, the reality is that that thing you are doing is evil. You are the one who cut short this relationship. Because you did not turn from evil. You can't be in a relationship and you are not dealing with the person with one heart. Heaven told the person, the person saying that he cannot continue with you and you are saying that the person is wicked. The person is say, "Look, it is you. You will not see many days in anything that you are doing if you don't turn from evil yourself." So, sometimes we are the one who are reaping what we sow and not that the person suddenly cut off the relationship. What are you sowing? Many don't look at ourself, we look at people. I was discussing with someone who have had broken relationship, three, four, five—"He say, you see, all men are not serious." I said, "My sister, this one you are saying that all men are not serious, there are men that are serious." There are men that are serious. Do you know that by the time we began to talk and talk, I had so many things I have to make her see about her own life? I don't want to go into too many details. I say, "Look, look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this, look at this too in your own life. And you are saying men are not serious. You have come out of about five." I say sometimes it may not be that—like I was telling one couple that came for counseling one time. I said look, sometimes—and I've seen these things many times in the life of many people—you see, sometimes it is not that good people don't come your way. It is that you have not matured yourself enough to retain good people. Mark my words. Sometimes it's not that good people don't come your way. It is only that you have not matured yourself to retain good people. Yes, there are a lot of people who are evil people. I know, that's why we are looking at this matter. I gave you an example now. Somebody who is not sincere in what he says is doing evil. But there are people who are good. There are people who are sincere, who are genuine. The reason why we have not been able to retain them may be because you have not matured yourself enough. There are—I am telling you—I know that faithful people are scarce. But I'm telling you, there are still a lot of faithful people. There are still a lot of children of God that are sincere and good. There are brothers who are genuine and sincere. And as I'm speaking with you, there are sisters who are genuine and sincere. Don't just have this mind that marriage—you can never get good people. They have been saying that since our own days. Since our own days when we were youth. The matter of not finding faithful people has been since the day of the Bible. It was Cain that killed his brother Abel. So, even among siblings, there have been unfaithful men since the beginning. Solomon said a faithful man who can find. He said again, who can find a virtuous woman. So, people who are good are scarce. But please, don't have a mentality that they don't exist. They have been saying that since when we were children. And let me tell you, my wife is not an evil woman. There are people who are good. There are people. It is you also checking your own life. Sometimes, when good people come our way, we have not matured ourselves enough to retain them. And many times we lose them because of our own life which is not matured enough to retain them. And then eventually what happens? Birds of the same feather now flock together. You find people who are like yourself. Because you yourself you are not sincere, you find people too who are not sincere. May the Lord help us. I pray for those of us who are in relationship, who are already married. I pray the Lord for you, your marriage will last in the name of Jesus Christ. For those of you who are already in relationship, your fiance, your fiancee, I pray for you. May you see good and may you enjoy good in your relationship. It will end in marriage and your marriage will be a good and a strong one in the name of Jesus Christ. For those of you looking towards it, I pray for you today, you will not miss your way. You will not miss your step in the name of Jesus Christ. The Lord will help you. The Lord who helped us—today we are talking of about 30 years in marriage—the Lord who helped us, that same God will help you. Your marriage, you will enter into a right relationship, that relationship will last and your marriage will last in the name of Jesus. But please, let us be correct in ourselves. Please be correct. Be a correct person. It is very, very important. So, we are looking at the concluding thing that the Lord Jesus called evil. The concluding thing he called evil. We started that since last month. The last thing he called evil, from verse 38. He said, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you not to resist an evil person." Are you getting something? I'm trying to make you see evil. Evil is also resisting somebody who is evil. May the Lord help us. May the Lord grant us understanding. May the Lord help us to live correctly in the name of Jesus Christ. You see, we are looking at the teaching of Jesus because he is the way, he is the truth and he is the life. He said you have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." You do me I do you back. God no vex. I don't know whether you have heard that language before. That's what I used to think too until I encountered Jesus' teaching. You do me, I do you back, God no vex. Ah! You do me, I do you back, God don vex. You do me, I do you back, God don vex. That is the truth. That is what the Lord is teaching us here. You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. "Whoever slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. Whoever compels you to go one mile, go two miles with the person. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you, do not turn away." This is a very serious teaching about evil. We are talking about evil. He said you have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I say to you, "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be the son of your Father in heaven; who makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brethren, what do you have more than others? Do not even tax collectors do the same? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." We are looking at definition of evil from the point of our Lord Jesus Christ. That's what we are trying to define. And we are seeing the Lord raising a very serious matter here about what evil is. Ordinarily it is just so challenging to see what the Master is raising in this place for us to see and for us to hear about evil person, who to love, who not to love, and all of that. Now, the Lord is saying that it is very, very important for you to know that it is evil to repay evil with evil. Are you getting the Lord teaching at all? Somebody have done you evil. Somebody have done what pained you. Somebody have been unjust to you. Somebody persecute, somebody spitefully use you. Somebody want to deny you of your right. Somebody have taken away what is yours. You are telling this thing is mine, person forcefully took it from you. You told somebody, but this is not the correct thing. He say somebody ask you to go one mile, go two miles. Compelling, note the word, they compel you. He say, "Ah no, I can't do—say no, you must do it. You must get this thing done." And maybe the person have authority over you. Have you not seen where for instance you have given all your paper to the policeman? And the policeman say you are not going anywhere until you give me 100 naira, you are not going anywhere. And you have done nothing wrong. The Lord say you can even give him 200 instead of taking time to want to fight and kill and break down. You see, if somebody compel you to go one mile—compelling—this thing is yours. And you know, I just remember something that happened when I was a child that happened between my father and his neighbor. It was dispute over the boundary of land. My father was saying that this is the boundary. The neighbor insisted that no, that isn't the boundary. That where the boundary is will be something that will make my dad to lose maybe some of what my father felt is his own. They pulled it back and forth, back and forth. But do you know my father did something that was surprising to us? When my father could not win the argument, was argument back and forth, my father instead of agreeing with the man to the point where the man said it is, my father said, "Okay, okay, okay. You said this is where it is abeg?" Then my father now count extra six foot added to it and say, "Take it. I hope that is okay." And that's how they close the case. For us it was like, "Ah! You should have dealt with him. After all, you are in the force. You are a custom officer. You should have brought the force. You should have..." He did that and we were surprised. When he said go one mile, go two miles. At this time my father was not a believer. He was just a religious person. He wasn't a believer. But he was a religious person. He was the one that brought us into church. My father's mom was an idol worshiper, so his father. So, he brought us into church. What he knows to follow God was to be inside church. He didn't understand salvation. It was much, much later when my father was about eighty-something that I preached the gospel to him and he was able to understand the gospel and he accepted Jesus into his life. But he was just a religious person and he just followed the Bible that you don't resist evil person. The normal religious life. But do you know something? That happened when I was a child. Do you know what is amazing to me till today? That land that my father gave to that man, till today have not been built. The land is still desolate till today. The land is still a land that I still saw till last year. It is not far. It is because our family house is still there. So, of course I do visit our family house. It's just behind. The land is still there desolate till today. Nothing has been put on that land. You see, I'm just amazed sometimes when I see that land till date. I just get amazed. You see, the meek inherit the earth. The meek inherit the earth. It is a principle of God. And I'm talking about life in your marriage. Are you somebody who have a heart that I will revenge? My spouse do this, I will do that back. Ehen, she slap me, I will slap back. She did this, I will do back. I know somebody who is revengeful. Anybody who is revengeful is an evil person. That is the point I'm trying to make you see. Being revengeful is evil. You can avoid evil people. You can live with them with discretion. If somebody is evil—because the Bible teaches us, he says wise as serpent but harmless as dove. It doesn't mean that we make ourselves vulnerable to evil people. It doesn't mean that we allow evil people to be cheating us. When you know that somebody is somebody who will not—you are doing business with somebody and the person is always cheating you, you can do business with another person who will not cheat you. You can avoid evil people. You too can be wise. Ah this person, if I don't have evidence, he may deny. So, if you want to give the person money, maybe at one time you counted money to somebody and he denied the amount. So, next time you want to count money with the person, you have to be discreet. You go with evidence. Oya sign that you collected 100 naira that you counted and it's 100,000. Oya make the person sign. And you keep the evidence. So, you deal with the person with discretion. But what the Lord is saying is that you don't say because the person when I gave him 100,000 the person denied that it was 90,000 you gave, you now put the person in your mind that you too you are going to do your own back. Then something now happened later, you now strike back at the person because of that thing. Ah, then you are doing evil. Don't ever plan to strike back. That's what the Lord is teaching you. Avoid evil people. Live with them with discretion. Evil neighbors, evil colleagues. We are in an evil world. A lot of men are wicked. They want to cheat on you. They want to take advantage of us. We must be wise as serpent, but we must be harmless as dove. We must never revenge evil. We must never. We must never revenge evil. Instead of revenging evil, we should rather pay back evil with good. When it is our turn—it made me to remember this my neighbor. Something happened in one compound I was living. He wanted to go out in the morning and his vehicle could not start. He tried and tried and tried, it could not start. It was battery problem. So, he went to the next neighbor and said, "Please let me use your battery to start the car then when the car starts, I give you back your battery then I replace my battery so that I can quickly make the office." And that neighbor bluntly refused that he doesn't want anything to happen to his battery. He doesn't like that. So, eventually that neighbor had to leave the vehicle. Somehow that day went. He find a way around his problem. And eventually he came back with a wire who brought a battery, started the vehicle and then at least he solved his problem. Do you know that months later, the table turned around? The other neighbor wanted to start the car, the car did not start. And he urgently needed to start the car, he was to go out with his family. Not knowing what to do of because of the desperation, he have to approach that his neighbor to assist. And the man quickly went to the vehicle, opened the bonnet, even help him brought out the battery, went, they started it together, they rejoiced together, "Hey thank God it has started," and they went. Can you be such a person? He did not even refer to that incident. Not even say, "Ehen, anyway I will give you but remember your own turn." He just did it cheerfully. Honestly, it was a great lesson. That's the Christian life. That's what the Lord is saying. Honestly, if you look at that scripture—go and look at it because I want to join them together. And that Psalm 34 that we are reading. Look at it. When he said turn from evil. Please go to that Psalm 34:14. When he said turn from evil, you will notice that he quickly said again that turn from evil and do good. So, it is not just enough to turn away from evil. It is important that you repay evil with good. That is what the Lord meant when he said when they slap you on one cheek turn the other one. He's not saying that when somebody do you evil, you stay there and keep allowing them to be doing you evil, for them to keep cheating—that's not what he is saying. Because people have misinterpreted the Lord in so many things. When he said when they slap you on one, turn the other one, what he meant is that you don't revenge evil. Rather you turn from evil, you repay back with what? With good. Make sure that you are always doing good. Don't make evil people make you to do evil. There are a lot of evil people today. So, you now bring that into your relationship. That your husband offend you should not make you also want to do something to revenge. No. No. It is wrong. Never ever. If you must not resist evil person, why will you then resist your wife? Why will you then resist your husband? If your husband is compelling you to go one mile, why not go two miles? Why not go three miles? I don't know whether you understanding me. If your wife is compelling you to go one mile, why not go two, three miles? Because the Lord is saying that for evil people, go two miles for them. That is, give allowance. Do good. Don't repay evil with evil. Ah, ehen, you did this to me abeg? And then you did like that. You see some women, "Ehen, you did this. Don't worry. Wishful sex are you calling for? No sex for the next one month. You that I asked for 200 the other time, you said no money. No money, no sex too." You start seeing all kinds of things in marriage. He said, "Ehen, no sex? Me too no money. I will show you." I don't just understand. This is complete foolishness. You see it too in relationship. "Ehen, I say we should go and greet my people, you did not come abeg? Your own is coming. By the time you say you want—me too, sorry, you cannot know my people." You keep seeing people revenging themselves and they're in relationship. It is not the correct way of life. You see, let me tell you something. The more you sow evil, the more you will reap evil. You cannot break the circles of evil with evil. If somebody is doing evil and you are revenging with evil, then what will you reap again? You will reap evil. The person again will do evil. So, when will you stop the circle of evil? That's why some people will never enjoy life in their marriage. They will never enjoy life in their relationship. Because they are not turning away from evil. I'm talking about the evil of being revengeful. A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye. God no vex. Who told you that? God de vex. God is angry with you. It is not the way of life. Please, you must make up your mind no matter what my spouse will do, no matter what my fiance or my fiancee will do, I will never take revenge. It is something you must have decided before you enter. You must have decided this thing. You see, when I encountered the Lord on some matters, I was single when I have resolved some matters in my heart. That no matter what the person I marry, no matter what the person will do, I will never do this. No matter the level of provocation, I will never do this. I will always repay good. I will always repay evil with good. And let me tell you something that you don't understand. Do you know that if you always sow evil, there is something about life for you. The Bible says do not be deceived. God cannot be mocked. Whatsoever a man sow, that is what he will reap. Do you know that if you constantly sow good, you refuse to pay evil with evil, you are constantly paying evil with good? Your spouse is not doing what is good, but you are repaying with good. You are doing good. You are doing good. Do you know that there is a law of life? That God will make you to reap good in that marriage. Because that you are sowing good, you must reap good. Seed time and harvest time will not cease. Because you are sowing, your investment is good. God will cause your spouse to do you good no matter who the person is. That's what you don't understand. The Bible says when the way of a man pleases the Lord, he makes what? Even his enemy to be what? At peace. Even if your spouse is evil, God will cause your spouse to do you good. I'm talking about the law of life that I'm showing you. Life and your marriage. So, I want you to deliberately take your wife, take your husband that I will continually do good. Make up your mind. Prayerfully say this person I marry, all my life until death do us part, no matter what this person do to me, I will always do good. You will be surprised. Harvest of goodness. Because you keep sowing it into your spouse, into your wife, you will see how God will begin to move people. You begin to say, "Ah, God is blessing me because of you. Ah, the door just be opening from here, the door just be opening from here." You know, you don't understand. You can turn that your spouse to the source of your great blessing. At the same time, you can turn your spouse to the source of your sorrow. It depends on the choice that you are making. It is 11:30 now, but thank God we have been able to complete "turn from evil and do good." The June edition, we'll be going to the next recipe in that Psalm 34. The next recipe, the recipe for life and your marriage. There is another recipe there we consider. That would be Episode 5. The next recipe. We are through now with this recipe: Turn from evil and do good. Please turn from evil and do good. The last scripture I want to read there about turning from evil and do good is Romans 12. I made allusion to it the last time. I want to take it Romans 12. I take it from verse 17. "Repay no one evil for evil." It is from that place that this epistle is written. Repay no one evil for evil. Please I'm begging you. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. Please make it a lifestyle. I beg you in the name of Jesus Christ, particularly in your marriage, particularly in your relationship. Make it a lifestyle. Happy marriages don't involve perfect people. They involve two people who have made up their mind to do themselves good all their lives. Make up your mind to do your wife, your husband good all your life, no matter the imperfection in them, and you will see good in your marriage. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Please I beg you. Much more with your wife, your husband, your fiance, your fiancee. Live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place for wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay," says the Lord. So, vengeance belongs to God. Anybody that will try to be revengeful, the person is saying, "I am no more human, I am now God." May the Lord help us. May the Lord grant us understanding. May the Lord help us to live correctly in the name of Jesus Christ. You see we are looking at the teaching of the Lord Jesus. Because he is the way, he is the truth and he is the life. He said you have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. Please you are human. Once you try to repay evil, you are saying that you are God. It is evil to want to repay evil. Please, you are not God, you are man. Leave vengeance to God. Please. Vengeance is mine, God says I will repay. Therefore, "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him to drink; for in so doing you will reap coals of fire on their head." What he is saying is that in that way you would have left God to handle them. God knows the way to deal with them. God knows the way to break them. That's what he is saying. But don't begin to understand it that God will pack fire and put on their head and kill them. That's not what that thing is saying. Because you must remember, God does not delight in the death of the wicked. But what? That they should repent. So, that is God have a way of bringing the fire of conviction and repentance through your life. When you do good to people, there is a way that thing breaks people. I have seen that over and over again in life. I can give you more than one testimony. People who were constantly doing evil, but I kept repaying with good. And then one day they had to ask that, "Please, which church do you attend? We want to attend your church. We want to be going to your church with you." These are people who were doing me evil. And the bottom line was that they were just asking, "Ah you must be a pastor abeg?" I said, "I am a Christian." Because some people feel it is pastors that should live right. Living right is the normal Christian life. They say, "You must be a pastor abeg?" I said, "I am a Christian." Say, "Which church do you attend? We want to attend." You see, I—that is what we mean. It will bring conviction, a fire. It will pierce their heart. It will cut through their soul. I'm telling you, it is what we have personally experienced. And if God chooses that it is the other way around—he will kill them or he will do whatever to them—let that be God. Don't also wish any man evil. Don't wish that, "Ehen, God will kill him. Ehen." Rather why not say, "God have mercy on the person." Let us be like our Father. Let us have a good heart. May our heart not be full of revenge, bitterness. Look, take those things out of your heart. Take them out of your heart. They will make you to miss your way in life. Because the way of God—the way of God, they are mysterious. God wanted to use Joseph to preserve his brothers. The way God will use Joseph to preserve his brothers is that God used his brothers to betray him and sold him so that he can go and preserve them. Is that the way to organize it? God should have used his brothers to do him good so that he will now want to repay them for their good. But God used his brothers to do him evil so that he can now use him to preserve them. So you see, the ways of God are mysterious. God may want you to be the person that will preserve somebody. Yet, God will use that person to do you evil that will now lead you into your goodness so that you can now come back to preserve that person. Please take off out of your heart. Take revenge out of your heart. The ways of God are mysterious. They are very, very mysterious. Don't wish people evil. Don't wish them evil. Therefore if your enemy be hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him drink. For in so doing, you will reap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but what? Overcome evil with good. Overcome evil with good. Overcome evil with good. That is where we are closing the meeting today. That is where we are closing the meeting today. May the Lord help us to live correctly in our relationship, in our marriages, in our homes, in everywhere we find ourselves. May we be like our Father who make it to rain upon both the good and the evil. So please, like I said, everything about turning from evil and do good began last in last month's edition, episode three and episode four. If you were not with us in episode three, please go and listen to episode three so that you can appreciate three and four. Let's go ahead to pray this morning. Let's ask the Lord, "God, please, oh, make me to be like you. Make me to be like you. Make me to be like you. Make me to be like you. Lord, make me to be like you. Lord, that I may be like you. Lord, that I may be like you. Lord, that I may be like you." [Speaker continues in foreign language]. In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. Thank you Father. Thank you Holy Spirit. Blessed be your holy name. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Almighty God, we thank you again for a successful completion of the Marriage Forum for today. Lord, we commit ourselves into your hands that Lord, beyond this interaction this morning with one another, Lord, please speak to our heart. Make us to be like you. Make us to be like you. Lord, in all our relationships, marriages, God Almighty we pray, may we enjoy life. May we see good in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's share the grace together in fellowship. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us now and forevermore. Amen. [Announcer/Outro] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission health. Our regular activities are: Discipleship class every Monday 5:00 PM, Adolescent and Singles Club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, Marriage Forum second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, family life seminars, regular school outreaches, and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite the Rejoy filling station along Iju-Are Road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 080-338-61136, 070-336-13848. God bless you all.