Male and Female 3(the Fall 2)

[Music] Stand up, stand up for Jesus, ye soldiers of the cross. Lift high His royal banner, it must not suffer loss. From victory unto victory His army shall He lead, till every foe is vanquished and Christ is Lord indeed. Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] [background noise and digital audio glitch] …to call our attention to. "He did this, or he did that. That is why I did this." When you notice such a thing, what should come to your heart is that the male and female relationship is having a problem because of the Fall. And one thing we pointed out in that is that is why you will notice elders will mediate, the church will mediate, the court will mediate, the problem will still be there. Because the problem is that there is a fundamental thing going on. We are dealing with people that sin is at work in their life. Sin is a universal thing. That is why, whether among the whites or among the blacks, I remember reading a write-up on Africa and somebody said that the whites that brought Christianity to Africa, they themselves don't talk of one man, one wife because they have been hypocritical. They went ahead to talk about how Anglican was formed, that it was a matter of the King going to take another wife. They said, so there has never been a time that even those who brought Christianity talked about one man, one wife, which we preach today. And I just laugh. I laugh because those who wrote those things, they don't understand that sin is universal. Whether among the whites or among the blacks, the people who brought it themselves, sin still operates everywhere. What you are seeing in them is not a problem of Christianity. It is a problem of sin in man anywhere. That point about polygamous marriage being what is correct, having all of that is the correct thing, there is nowhere in the Bible where that is preached. Because even the whites who brought it never preached it. I just laugh. I laugh because people are not seeing the problem of sin. And that is why we are trying to establish something: that it is sin today that makes people in their marriage, instead of accepting their fault, they keep shifting blame. "I did this because you did that. I did this because you did that." And that was what we saw in Adam. The second thing we see about sin last month about the Fall is that it came, we saw where the Bible says for the woman particularly, the Scripture says she would give birth, she will multiply in sorrow, in pain. And I took us to the book of Timothy to see where the Bible says she shall be saved in childbearing, if she continues in faith. And what we established about that is that there is this teaching where some people say that there were some Hebrew women who gave birth without pain, so that any woman who is giving birth with pain is a woman who is not a godly woman. And I just laugh. And what we said last month was that the idea of the Hebrew woman is not something that is biblical. The Egyptian midwives only told a lie. They told a lie to Pharaoh that before they get there, the Hebrew women, they are not like the Egyptian women, that they would have given birth. The Bible says they lied. That was not the situation. So, I said don't let anybody make you feel that you are not spiritual because you had pain when you wanted to give birth. Some people say, "No, if you really work in faith, there should be no pain at all." These kinds of teachings, they are not based on the Scripture. There is nothing like Hebrew women who gave birth without pain. Some people lied about Hebrew women. Please, this should be made clear in our understanding of Scripture. And there is something again we established last month. It said, "Your desire shall be to your husband, and he will rule over you." And then we noticed that it is important to see a third thing that happened as a result of the Fall in that place, and that is the spirit of competition. The spirit of competition. What do we mean by that? He said, "Your desire shall be to your husband." Some people think that what that thing is saying is that the woman will desire to marry. That's not what it is saying. Even without the Fall, people will desire to marry. Because God had made—He said a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. That is at creation. Marriage was established at creation. But at the Fall, God now said, "Your desire shall be to your husband, and he will rule over you." And I said this: that the woman will try to rule over the man that God created to have authority. She will try to rule him. But the man too will say, "Look, I will show you who I am," and then there will be what? A competition. A competition for who wins an argument, who dominates the other. And when you look at it today, what do you see everywhere? Patriarchy, feminism, masculinity, and all of that going on. Strife. Women are saying, "No, we will not take this." Men are saying, "Yes, we will show you." This that you are seeing is just the evidence of the Fall. When you see this thing operating, when you see a woman not contented with who she is, we see a man who thinks that masculinity is about ruling over a woman, suppressing her, what you need to understand is that there is a consequence of the Fall. What we are having around us today is a major consequence of the Fall—this competition, this spirit of competition. And I can remember growing up in the assembly as a young boy, and even in the Sunday School, they want to make us compete. They will say, "It is men that have faith, women don't have. It is men that have faith. It was men that saw Jesus first." They say, "No, it was women that saw Jesus first." And then you see, we have been made to—the Lord help us. But sincerely, be careful about a competitive spirit in your marriage relationship. "Who wins the argument? Who talk last?" In a matter going on, "Who can talk to pain the other person?" Be careful. It is a sign of the operation of sin. We saw that in the first marriage, they said the man and the woman will rule over all things. It was after the Fall that God said, "Your desire shall be to your husband, and he will rule over you." So instead of the man and the woman ruling together, what you have today is patriarchy—the man suppressing the woman. And because the woman wouldn't agree, "I desire shall be to him," she too wants to break out of that suppression. And so you have all of that today in the society. Patriarchy, feminism, they are all a sign of the Fall. They are all a sign of the Fall. And may the Lord help us in the name of Jesus Christ. We want to move on from that point today. That's why I did that brief summary because we could not conclude the implication of the Fall in the November meeting. We said we would take it from there today for us to complete the discussion on the matter of the Fall that we started in the November meeting. So let us have a word of prayer as we move on today. Our Father, we thank You, we bless Your name. As we move on again in this December edition of "Male and Female: The Fall." So, Lord, we pray may our hearts understand, may our eyes see the truth, the ways of our God, in the name of Jesus. Lord, as we connect together this morning, our brethren who are on Mixlr, our brethren who are on Telegram, our brethren who are here physically, Lord, we pray Lord, meet with us all. Thank You, Eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Now, we want to move on to where we left the matter last month. We go to Genesis. Let's go to Genesis, Genesis chapter 3. We got to where the Scripture says, verse 16: "To the woman He said: 'I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.'" Now, I want to quickly expand a matter on this matter of competition as we particularly bring it to look at what should be in a Christian marriage. What should be in a Christian marriage? And I want to quickly read something, I want us to compare something here, then we'll go to James before we come to verse 17. Now, when you look at this portion in Genesis 3:16, He says, "Your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you." In chapter 1, verse 26 downward: "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'" Now, when you come to Genesis 1:26 to 28, particularly the verse 28 where God blessed them, He said, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over..." So you notice that there was a marriage in Genesis 1. In that marriage, what we found is that God blessed them and told them to have dominion over the earth. Now, the one in Genesis 3 is, "Your desire shall be to your husband, and he will rule over you." Now, I'm trying to make you see two types of marriage. Two types. The marriage at creation, the marriage at the Fall. The marriage at creation is a marriage where the male and the female rule together, and they rule over everything. They are one. They rule over. The second marriage we see is that even though they are one, they don't relate as one. Rather, one tries to rule the other, and the other rules over her. So the picture I'm creating for you, the picture I'm trying to make you see in that place that we read, is what is comparable to what you find in James. Please look at the book of James. Let's read the book of James together. James chapter 3. James chapter 3. I just want to mention this by way of enlightening us as believers in looking at the situation of our marriage. Now, when we look at James chapter 3 from verse 13, it says: "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your heart, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy." (James 3:13-17) Now, I'm showing you something very crucial. What I'm trying to show you is that I want you, if you are listening to me, I want you to look into your marriage if you are married. And I want you to look into your future, because one thing about the future is how much preparation you make for your future. Many times, people don't prepare for marriage before they get into marriage. And so when they get into marriage, they begin to behave in a way and act in a way that reveals that they never understood what marriage is about. They did not prepare for marriage. Now, if you are looking towards marriage in the future or you are already married, I want to—I'm trying to compare this with where we are coming from, the two kinds of marriage: the marriage at creation and marriage at the Fall. The marriage at creation, there was no competition between the man and the woman. They are not two but one. He said, "Let them have dominion." They rule together. It is the kind of oneness that goes on between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. You have three in one, or you say one in three, anyhow you look at it. The point I'm making is that you notice that we are not serving three gods. We are serving one God who manifested Himself to us in the Father, in the Son, and in the Spirit. That is what God is ordaining for us in marriage. In marriage, we are having one person who is manifested to us as a male and a female. Who is coming to us as a male—that is, there is no strife. There is no strife. It is one mind, one thought, one heart that rules them. They think together, they plan together, they act together, they move together, they pray together, they stay together. Now, that is the marriage at creation. But there is a marriage at the Fall. And what I want to make you see is what James is making us to see here. I want to read it in a simpler translation. It says, "If you are wise and understand God's ways (NLT), live a life of steady goodness so that only good deeds will pour forth. And if you don't brag about the good you do, then you will be truly wise." Are you getting something? Let me take that to you in the Message translation. "Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here is what to do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It is the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts." It is the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. I will take it in the Amplified. "Who is wise among you and intelligent? Then let him by his noble living show forth good work with unobstructive humility, which is the proper attribute of wisdom." You know what I'm trying to make you see? I want to make you know this. If you are looking towards marriage or you are in a marriage, the attribute of godly wisdom is humility. When you notice that there's wanting to show "I know," there's wanting to show "I have," there's wanting to prove a point in your life, the sign is that you are not operating in heavenly wisdom. You see, one thing about earthly wisdom—that is, when you, how you can know that you are operating there—is that you know Jesus said, "I am meek and lowly in heart." When you notice that you are not meek and lowly, you always want to prove a point, you always want to show as a man, even as a woman, you always when you notice this thing about you, then know that there is an operation about you that is not about the first marriage, but it's about the second marriage. Now, how will you know this thing? How does it show itself? Look at how it now brings out what God said in that place. "But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking..." You know what envy is? You are not happy that the other person was the person who talked last. You want to also say your own. You are not—you feel disappointed. Envy simply means disappointed at someone else's progress. You want to have what the other person has. And do you know, this one I'm talking about is this: Maybe the other person said to you, "Shut up." It pained you and you said, "No, I will give him back. He too must have 'Shut up' too." Ah, that one did not pain him. He tells you, "You're telling me 'shut up,' idiot, mad person." Ah, you see, you are competing. You are trying to—you desire to be the person that wins in something. You need to be careful about it. If you have bitter envy, there is a better envy. You know the better envy? The better envy is when we are trying to outdo ourselves in good. That's a better envy. When we are trying to outdo the other person—this person is respectful, you're trying to outdo the other person in being respectful. This person is loving, you're trying to outdo that person in loving. The Bible says provoking each other to good works. That's a better envy. But talking about bitter envy, bitter envy has to do with not being meek. It has to do with the person slapped you, ah, no, it must not go with it. Ah, I must give him his own back. When you give it, ah, then your mind, you say, "Yes, I gave him back." So you are now—but if you gave him back and the person just goes and then he carries a stick and then he destroys something that belongs to you, you say, "Eh, you think you can do it? You also go, you destroy his own too." That's what he's talking about. When you are trying to give evil for evil. That is bitter envy. I want you to check your marriage. Are you somebody who cannot suffer wrong? Are you somebody who cannot suffer wrong? Check your life as a man, check your life as a wife. And if you are not married, check the way you are relating with brethren now. Because many people don't live correctly when they were Christians. They enter into marriage with that kind of wrong life. They now think that their wife or their husband is their problem. No, your problem had been since before you got married. When a brother does something, you just cut him off, you don't relate with him again. You cannot forgive and let go. It has been in your life. So when you enter into marriage, when your wife does something, you cannot just forgive and let go. You look for a way to give her back. So, it has been in your life. That person, your wife or your husband, isn't your problem. That's what I'm saying, that once you notice that there is bitter envy—bitter envy has to do with wanting to revenge evil, wanting to pay back people for what they do to you, wanting to make sure that if somebody stings you, you sting back. If you have that thing in your life, you know what the Bible is saying? You are operating the second marriage. If you are not yet married, you are going to operate the second one. So check your life now, the way you relate with people. Are you meek? Are you meek and lowly? Are you somebody who doesn't—who is not pained by evil? Are you somebody that when your enemy is hungry, you give him to eat? When your enemy is thirsty, you give the person to drink? You are just full of good works, you are full of good deeds. I'm telling you when you enter into marriage, you will operate the first marriage. Because normally what brings the second marriage is this spirit of competition, this spirit of "I too am this and that." That's what brings it. And it's telling you that it is not having victory over self. Not having victory over self. There are many Christians today that have not had victory over self. Self. Self and sin is what you are seeing in that chapter 2. "Your desire shall be to your husband." You want to prevail, but he will not agree. He too will rule. You see, you have seen yourselves as opposed to one another. So, brother, sister, if you are not married, check the way you are living your life now before you get to the junction of marriage. And if you are married, check what is going on in your marriage. Bitter envy and self-seeking. What does the Bible say? It says, "If you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your heart, do not boast or lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above; it is earthly, it is sensual, it is demonic." What he is saying is that when we operate like this in our marriage, what we will always find is that we are using earthly wisdom, we are sensual, and then you will have demonic activities in your marriage. So please, I want us to check that. The Bible says lastly that for everywhere, for where there is envy and self-seeking, confusion and every evil thing are there. And that's why I want to stop. I want to tell you this. Look at this competition today about masculinity and femininity. Look at all kinds of evil that it has brought. Look at it, just try to look at it today. This competition between male and female. Look at where we are today. Look at what society has become because of that. It said there will be all kinds of evil work. I want you to look at what marriages have become today for some people. Do you know how many males have died because the female, their desire is in their husband, "I will show him"? Do you know how many females too have died because the man says, "Me, I will rule over her"? Look at all kinds of evil today. Look at people in ordinary things of life. You think you can show me? Okay, don't worry. I will tell you there are many women outside. They go and take another one and impregnate that one, and then say, "Yes, I've shown her." You know, the woman too goes, says, "You think you are the only one that can have extra-marital relationships? Me too, I'm going to show you I know how to do it." I just want you to look at society today, where are we? All kinds of evil. I pray for you, check into your marriage today for bitter envy and competitive spirit. What should be in your marriage is verse 17: "The wisdom that is from above is pure, then is peaceful, is peaceable, is gentle, is willing to yield, is full of mercy, is full of good fruit, is without partiality, and without hypocrisy." That is the true wisdom. (NLT) Check your marriage today, for the wisdom that comes from heaven is first pure. Are you somebody who operates with your spouse by deceit? You are not married now, how do you relate to the fellowship? They know you to be this, but you are also this. It starts—these things are always there before you enter into marriage. It's first pure, then it is also peace-loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds, shows no partiality, always sincere. This is what you should check about your life as an individual. Leave your spouse, check your own life. When you begin to sow the correct seed, the Bible says whatsoever a man sows, what will happen? That is what he will reap. Forget about your spouse, focus on your own life. When you sow the right seed, eventually there will be the correct harvest. But if you keep in the other wisdom, then you may not find it very funny in life ultimately. Now, let's go back to Genesis, Genesis chapter 3 that we were reading, verse 17. "Then to Adam He said, 'Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, "You shall not eat of it": Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, and you shall eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for dust you are, and to dust you shall return.'" (Genesis 3:17-19) We are looking at what the Lord said before finally looking at the man. What is the implication of the Fall for the man? And this is something very, very important for us to see, the injunction of the Lord. He says that because you have heeded the voice of your wife and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, "You shall not eat of it." Now, what I want you to see about God, as I really want you to understand in this place, is the truth that there is no justification—please mark my word—there is no justification under God for sin. There is no justification under God, there is no justification for sin. It is good that you appreciate this very well. Of course, a lot of things were said: "Cursed is the ground for your sake; in toil you shall eat all the days of your life." Of course, formerly, everything that man needs were available. Everything was at a state of bliss. He doesn't need to labor for it. Every good thing was made available before. All he needed was available. Now, it isn't to be so. That's why the Bible says, "He that does not work should not eat." He that does not work should not eat. There is a place—if you must eat, if you must eat, there must be work. There must be activities before you can eat. That's why the Bible says, "Have you seen a man who is diligent at his work? He will stand before kings, not before mere men." Diligence, being diligent, being hardworking, these are things that this brings to us. But what I am trying to point out about the whole matter here, that he will sweat, he will this, it's just talking about the fact that we now have to have some physical exercise before we now take the blessings of the earth. Unlike before that everything was blessed for us, but now to take the blessings of the earth, there are some physical endeavors you must do. And that is why it is good to teach our children, teach our young men the need to enjoy hard work, to work hard, to work. It is godly in this part of life, in this side of life. It was an injunction. An injunction. And it is good for us to get something very clear. Some people have this mentality that when Jesus came, Jesus took away the curse of the law, and so because He took away the curse of the law, I am no more to labor, to sweat, before we can eat and all of that. Even when we talk about the law, please I want you to get it clear—as at this time, there was no law. But that's not what I want to go into because I'm trying to focus on something. What I'm trying to say is that just like you see for the woman, even though she will give birth with pain, she will travail, she will labor before the child will come forth, what did the Bible say? The Bible says, "She shall be saved in childbearing, if she continues in faith." The same way, I want to make you understand that even though we need to work hard, we will sweat, we'll get we will use in different direction of our career, we would need to exercise, put in some physical endeavor, the truth is that if you continue in the faith, you will be saved in it. You get the point we are making? You will be saved through it. There's nothing like it had been taken away. Because look at some mentalities that some people carry, that me, I have not come to this world to work because I am in Christ. I don't know how that came. The same thing with that: if you have pain in conception, you are not a Christian, you are not the Hebrew woman. These are things that are not consistent with faith. They are not consistent with faith. What faith, what Jesus brought is that we will be saved through these things. He said, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." If we continue in faith, these things shall be added to you. God will have a way of adding it to you, or making it easy for you, of making ways for you, of granting opportunity for you. That is the position of the Bible. But the point that I'm really talking about, because it is the Fall that I'm really concerned with, is that when it comes to male-female relationship, look at what God said. He said, "Because you heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, 'You shall not eat of it.'" Now, it is important to get this thing clear. Because some people have said—I was somewhere one day, and it was a marriage seminar, we were preaching, we went, it was a church invitation, and somebody said, "Sir, I have this to say. You know Adam said, when God asked him, 'Have you eaten of the tree I said you should not eat?' Then Adam said, 'It was the woman You gave me.' So that day, God decided that anything about marriage, God will not be concerned about it again. That it was because Adam was blaming God, that it was the woman God gave him, that it was not the one he chose by himself." People have different ways of coming out with different wild imaginations. The Scripture still makes it very clear: "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." God, for those who fear God, for those who work with God, God still wants to direct their path in their marital journey. God still wants to tell them, God still wants to help them to design His will for who they should marry in marriage. That is why I'm bringing these things out very, very clearly. God did not say because Adam said that and so God have—God said, "Okay oh, it was the woman I gave him, so I'm not concerned again about..." That was not the position. Look at God's position here. God said—now look at the response of God to what Adam said. "Because you heeded the voice of your wife..." This is not saying that God felt that He was blamed, and so God withdrew from making His will known for us in marriage. Does this one sound like that? Never! So please, don't build your life on people's imagination. Build your life on the Scripture. God did not, in any way, feel blamed for what He did in making the woman. No! In bringing her—no! Rather, God pointed to the man that as far as Heaven is concerned, there is no justification for sin. And that is what we need to learn from here. That's what we need to learn in male and female relationship. That's something we need to really learn in our relationship with people, but particularly we are looking at it in term of male and female, marriage relationship. You know what I'm trying to say? There is no amount of wrong that your wife—there is no how will I put it—you may say because your wife did some very, very terrible—just paint anything you want to paint—that was why you also disobeyed God and did wrong. What we are seeing in this place is that there is no justification for sin. Whosoever sins shall bear responsibility for his sin, no matter under what circumstance it was done. Nothing will justify you as a man to say, "I did this evil because my wife did this evil." No! "Because you listened to your wife." Because, you see, responsibility. You have to take responsibility for whatever wrong you do. It's a thing we must learn in our relationship. As a man, you must get it very clear that there is no magnitude of wrong your wife could do or might have done or does that will justify your own wrong. God will still punish you for your own wrong. So you can't say, "Because she did so and so and so, that is the reason." No. Responsibility. You will notice that this principle is consistent with God. How do I know? Look at it. Look at it. Look at the woman. "And the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is it that you have done?' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'" Note, she said, "The serpent deceived me. I would not have eaten it if not for the deception of the serpent." Is that not what she said? But look at what God said. To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow." He didn't say, "Okay oh, I see. Serpent, you are to be blamed. You deceived the woman." No! The serpent was given his punishment, as well as the woman was punished for allowing herself to be deceived. You see, the same way with—that's what shows you that it's a consistent thing. As far as God is concerned, there is no justification for sin. Whosoever sins shall die. What I mean by that is that whosoever sins shall bear the consequence for that sin. Whatever made you to do it, or whoever made you to do it, will serve His own punishment too. Are you understanding it? That person will serve his own punishment. "My wife was not available to allow me have sex. That is why I went to sleep with my neighbor's wife." Good. The point is this: you are committing adultery, you will bear the consequence of your sin. If truly and truly the woman actually denied you and refused you in marriage, when you shouldn't deny yourselves, she will bear consequence for her sin. But don't ever think that because somebody sinned, that was why you sinned, you will not be punished. It's a deception. Everybody who sins will bear the consequence for their sin. Now, the implication that this is giving us is this: when the Bible says the desire of the woman will be to her husband, and that the man too will not agree, the man will rule over her, let me make something clear. The woman sinned, the man sinned. All those points of the desire shall be in her husband and all the point of the man will rule over her, let me tell you, they will all be punished. They will all be punished. And that is why, let me tell you this truth: if you truly understand God, you will understand this passage in Romans chapter 12. Let me show it to you, Romans chapter 12. One major problem is that we don't understand the ways of God. We don't understand the ways of God. Look at Romans chapter 12, I want to show you something there. Romans chapter 12, let's go there, please. Let's see something in Romans chapter 12. I want to show you from from verse 16. Romans 12 from verse 16. Please follow me patiently. "Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion." (Romans 12:16) Don't be wise in your own opinion. Verse 17: "Repay no one, repay no one, repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men." (Romans 12:17-18) You know what that Scripture is saying? Because he's going to give you the reason why that. It says, "If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, it is a matter that depends on you, it's on your own side, live peaceably with all men." Why? Verse 19: "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." (Romans 12:19) Do you know what I'm trying to make you understand? When people do you evil, when people do evil, your wife has done evil, your husband has done evil, you know what the Bible says? He says, "As much as it depends on you, live peaceably with them." You know what he's trying to say? See, no matter what may be going on, he's saying that from your own side, make sure that you are not doing anything to make the harvest of evil continue. "As much as it depends on your own side." The Bible says you are stupid. "As it depends on your own side," don't say you are stupid back. The person did this, the person did that, the person did all kinds of things. As much as it is on your own side. You cannot control the other person, can you? No. There's nothing you can do about the other person. And that is one thing you need to know. You need to understand that. It is on your own side. And that is why, you know, I normally say this: it takes two to fight. One cannot fight. When you see things happening, it must have been that somebody did evil and somebody tried to revenge evil, somebody tried to pay back. It takes—you see, it takes two to fight. One cannot fight. So when you see things happening, you know many times what people say? "Ah, you see, the problem in this marriage is my husband." When you see people talk like that, they themselves are the problem. They say, "No, the problem in this marriage is my wife." The truth is that why that person must have done the things from the point of the wife, her desire to her husband, the truth is also that from the side of the man, he had also done what? "I will rule over you." But what I want to make you see from that point in Adam when He said, "Because you listened to your wife," is this: you must understand the ways of God. Is that as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Do not avenge yourselves. Do you know why? It's what we are seeing in the life of Adam. Vengeance belongs to God. He said, "Give place for wrath." Do you know how to give place for wrath? Don't try to revenge evil. No, rather give place for wrath. You know what that means? That is, leave space for God to judge. Take another translation. Look at verse 19, let's try different translations. "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, and I will repay,' says the Lord." You know what he's saying? "Don't avenge yourselves, give place to wrath." That is, leave it for Him who will repay. Let that person come and repay. Because once you try to do it, you too will be punished. It's not your job. Give place to it. Give place to the Lord. And that is why many times you will see it in Jesus. When they were even doing evil to Him, what was He doing? What was He doing? He was either praying, "Father, forgive them, they don't know what to do." Do you see the same thing too in Stephen? When they were stoning him, what was he doing? What was he doing? He was praying that what? "Do not lay it to their account." Is that not what he was doing? That's what he was doing. What was that showing you? He already knows that because they are doing evil against him, and he's not paying them back, what is going to happen? Wrath will come. And that was why he was praying, "Father, please don't lay it to their account." That's why Jesus was praying, "Hey Lord, please forgive them, they don't know what to do." You see, when you understand the ways of God, when people do you evil, if you truly love them, you will be praying for them. Because as long as you don't revenge that evil, what have you done? You have left place for wrath. You have left a place for God to punish that thing. Because He said, "It is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay.'" He now said, because of that, He said, "Therefore, therefore, if your enemy is hungry, what should you do? Feed him." What are you doing? You are leaving place for wrath. If he's thirsty, give him to drink. For in so doing, you will heap coals of fire on his head. Now, this verse had been severally debated by different people. And many times, it is because we are not looking at it within the context in which the Scripture is speaking. Immediately after that, he now said, "Do not be overcome by evil, rather overcome evil with what? With good." Now, if the Bible concludes this way, what is the Bible trying to make us see? What is the Bible trying to make us see from that verse 15 when he says you will reap coal of fire on his head? Now, coal of fire because in the earlier verse, God had said vengeance is Mine, I will repay. Is that not? Now, the point now is this: the Bible now concludes by saying that do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good. We see again that the purpose of doing good again is so that evil can be overcome. Are you seeing something? That in doing good, we can overcome evil. What is that telling us as Christians in our marriages, in our homes, our relationships? What is it telling us? What it's telling us is this: when the Bible says, "Vengeance is Mine, and I will repay," it is important for you to know that don't imagine and think that it simply means that God will destroy the wicked. No. It does not automatically means that. Rather, you must bear in mind that God gives the wicked what? A long rope to pull. Why? Because God is not interested in the death of the wicked, but that what? That they should repent. So coal of fire should not be simply interpreted that God will just kill them and destroy them. No. God has His way of dealing with these things. Don't let us act for God. Don't let us—God knows how best, because you must bear in mind, if God had dealt with you according to your own wickedness, you also not be alive. Hallelujah! The point He's making in that place is that you should understand that you have given place for God to act. Don't worry, God knows how to handle it. If it is that the person needs to die, God knows what to do. If it is that the person needs to face that thing 20 times, God knows how to do it. Just give place for wrath. But don't begin to wish, "Heh-heh, oya, let him die. I've left place for wrath now. Yes, very soon now as he travels, he just has accident. Very soon..." You begin to pray—the Bible said love don't think evil. Hallelujah! And that is why, when we have left place for wrath, to be like Jesus, what are we to do? "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they do." That is the Christian mind. Love don't think evil. Such that even if evil befalls them, you know what the Bible says? The Bible says, "Do not rejoice when your enemy falls." Don't let it be your joy. "Yes! Heh-heh! I said it! I said it! God had—you see what He did? God have paid—He he!" That is not the way of the godly. You don't rejoice when evil befalls the wicked, because we must remember, we too were once wicked when mercy found us. So our desire is that what? Forgiveness will come to the wicked, mercy will come to the wicked. So please, don't let us often interpret "coal of fire" to mean that, as somebody said, "Ah, I have put fire on his head already. God will consume that person by fire! Fire is coming..." Let us understand, interpret Scriptures with Scripture. But please, I want to beg you. Because there is no justification for sin, because there is no sin, the Bible says whatsoever a man sows, he will reap. For God to be God, He must be a God of justice. It is important for you to know that no matter the provocation by sinful men, no matter the intimidation by sinful men, pray for strength never to revenge evil for evil. Pray for strength, pray for capacity, that you will despise the cross, you will ignore the shame, that no provocation, no assault, no embarrassment from evil men that will make you do evil. And particularly when you now bring it to your marriage, pray that no shortcomings in my spouse will make me revenge evil. No shortcomings. Let it come. Let him behave so foolishly. Let her behave so foolishly. Let it come this way, let it come that way. Lord, help me that I will always do good. And even when—because this person is now your spouse, when the Bible is talking about somebody that you don't know, this how you should live, much more the more you quickly go to God. "Baba, please, please, you know myself and this person, we are one. Please forgive him or her, he doesn't know what he does." How much should you be quick to pray after you have left place for wrath? You should be quick to pray to ask the Lord, "Lord please, forgive my husband. Lord please, forgive my wife. She doesn't know what she's doing." Because you know that when you have left a place for wrath, there's also the place of intercession, to be like your Lord, to be like Jesus, to be like men who conform their lives after Jesus. These are very, very important things to note. He made them male and female. He made them male and female. And as we try to bring this whole matter to a close today, technical, do we have any question? Questions should be coming online now if there are questions as we try to bring the matter, this matter to a close today. Any, brethren online, please send in your question. We want to start rounding up. Okay, no question yet, technical. Thank you. Please, we want to start rounding up this matter, if there are questions, let us have the question as we wrap this whole thing up today. We have looked at the Fall. We have looked at its consequence. We have looked at two types of marriage: the marriage at the beginning, the marriage at the Fall. We have looked at authority, the place of forgiveness. We have looked at all of this. As we try to round all of this thing up, I cannot but say this. I cannot but say this. Number one, we said in the October edition that it is only in man that the female was taken out of the male. For every other things, the female was not made out of the male. In man, in human beings, they took a bone from the man and from that place closed it up with flesh. So we saw that in human beings, that the Bible says Adam was first formed before Eve, and Eve was made for Adam and Adam not for Eve. Now, we saw how God established authority. Now, that authority that God established, it is important for us to put some things clear as we try to close this meeting. It is good for you to see that in making them male and female, and that female that God was making was in the context of marriage, on the basis of which man is to multiply, it becomes very clear that ever from creation God establishes monogamy. It is an important thing for us to see that from creation, the design of God is one man, one wife. The many contradictions that you are seeing today is because of the Fall. It is not because one man, one wife is not the way of God. You will see that in the word of our Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew chapter 19. Matthew chapter 19, where the Lord Jesus raised the same thing. He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh." God did not make two people—two people ordinarily, but in reality, it's actually a person. That was why when Eve ate the fruit, she did not feel the consequence until Adam ate it. I've mentioned this before. "Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Then they said to Him, "Why did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." The disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." The point I'm making, I'm trying to make you see and get very clearly, is that in man, unlike animals that can have many sexual partners, for man, what God had designed is monogamy. Everything you see today, even in the Bible, people say Abraham took more than one wife, Jacob had more than one wife, this happened—go and check all those things, they are consequences of the Fall. Get it like this, if you want to—let me give you a simple thing to think about. If there was no Fall, remember that Adam will not die and Eve will not die. They will have been alive till both of us are speaking now. Are you with me? We will all be in the Garden of Eden. I want to ask you: Will Adam then be taking a wife from any of his generation? These are things to think about. You see, the Fall brought a lot of things that you must understand. But what God ordained, the what God ordained, He said He who made them at the beginning, what He ordained is very clear, very, very clear. What God ordained is very clear. And what the Lord Jesus said is that, "And He said, 'For this reason a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.' So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder." When they raised the other matter with Him, Jesus clearly answered them and made it very, very, very clear. He said, "Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to divorce your wife." The problem is about the hardness of people's heart. What God ordained from the beginning is clear. Sin is why we are talking about polygamy today and polyandry or polygyny. Polygamy has two types: polygyny, where a man has more than one wife—polygyny is what you are calling polygamy—then polyandry is where a woman has more than one husband. She is sleeping with this, sleeping with that, sleeping with that, sleeping with that. Society seems to frown at that. But I wonder, society is frowning at that because of the selfishness in the masculine gender. The masculine don't want to share the feminine. But the masculine want the feminine to share the masculine. Are you getting the point I'm trying to make? A man will not want to have a wife, that wife again have another husband that is sleeping with her and all of that. But a man want to have a wife and he still want to put another woman, make the woman feel that, "No, I'm not only for you, I'm for this and for that and for that." Why can't the woman too say, "Okay, I'm not only for you, I'm for this man and for that man and for that man"? You frown at that. I'm only trying to make you see it is the self-centeredness, the sin nature in man. What makes you to ask, "Who slept with my wife?" and you want to kill the person, that same thing should make you know that it's the same thing for the woman who says, "Who slept with my husband?" and I want to kill that same person. But because of our wickedness, we are ruling over them. That is how we seem to justify polygyny but condemn polyandry. And when you look at it, chastity and virginity, it's again emphasizing the female, not in the male. As if holiness is about female, not about male. So many things are just—it's just a product of patriarchy, it's not biblical. From the point of the Bible, the Lord establishes: a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. That is what God establishes. The various contradictions we are seeing today, and God making provision for some things, like somebody said, "What if the woman die or if the man die? How will the person now remarry again? Can the person not remarry?" Look, have this in mind that all of these provisions were made because of sin that came in. If sin had not come, it would have been all of us being alive to date. Adam and Eve being there, multiplying and replenishing. They are two, multiplying and replenishing. It should have been that, that is what you would have been having. You must get that very clear. It's very, very important. We must see that God ordained a man and his wife. And secondly, what I must emphasize as we also round up about this topic today, is He made them male and female, not male and male. In this, God clearly speaks against homosexuality and lesbianism. For God, sexual relationship is between a male and a female. It is never between a male and a male. It is never between a female and a female. He made them male and female, and said a man shall leave father and mother to have sexual intercourse with his wife. That is what God ordained. It is important to know that in God's ordination, it is clear that God forbids homosexuality and God forbids lesbianism. Again, He made them male and female in such a unique way. The female was made out of the male. And then He ordained that man leave father and mother to be joined to his wife (Genesis chapter 2), so that the two become one. It becomes very, very clear that as far as Heaven is concerned, there is a clear distinction between male and female. God made one male, He made one female, and He established order and authority based on that. It becomes very clear that everything that is talking about unisex—no! Male is male, female is female. They should not be distinguished. The distinctiveness between them should not—should not be seen, should not be emphasized. And it's also make it clear that everything like unisex, transgender, and all of these things, God forbids. From the point of the Scripture, God forbids. That which is male is male. That which is female is female. When we begin to see me as a male and feeling like being like a female, all of these are product of sin. When sin came in, there was perversion. Sin brought so much perversion, so much pollution today. What we are seeing is the pollution that comes as a result of sin. In its pure sense, the way we can separate oxygen from carbon dioxide, and they are not the same thing, is the way we can separate male from female. They are not the same thing. Oxygen serves a different purpose, carbon dioxide serves a different purpose. They serve within their distinct roles, distinct roles. This is very, very important for us to note. So transcendentalism, unisex, and all of these things trying to destroy that distinction between the male and the female, God forbids it. And lastly, I also want to say, in establishing male and female, and in saying that, "Look, it is important for us to know that Adam was not for Eve, was not formed for Eve but Eve for Adam, and Adam was first formed before Eve." And again that the man is not independent of the woman. Two things I am emphasizing which I have said before, I am reminding you because I'm closing with it. Be careful when as an individual you despise authority. God establishes authority in creation. Every constituted authority is to be respected. That is the way of God. It is the way of God. Be careful with people who are rebellious. Be careful about people who are given to—the Bible says we should not associate with those who are given to rebellion. People who are given to rebellion, they just despise authority. "I can say anything, I can do anything, I can say no! Like I don't care." Be careful with these kinds of people who have this kind of heart. It's an element of sinful perversion. Authority was something established in creation by God, and constituted authority ought—is made to be respected. The other side to it is also very, very clear. He said that in God, the man is not without the woman. Authority established, authority that God established, is supposed to take cue from God. It's supposed to be that the person in authority is submitting under God. When the person in authority is not under God, that authority will not reflect what God expects it to reflect. And that is what you are seeing today in several authorities that you see that we see. In the authority of men in their marriages, in the authority of pastors over the churches, authority of teachers over students, authority of lecturers over—people in authority today, the reason why you are seeing all kinds of perversion by those in authority is because they are outside the Lord. And the reason why you are now seeing rebellion is that rebellion is an act wanting to fight against authority that is not standing as it ought to stand. But the truth remains, let me get this very clear to you: authority will be punished for not standing as it ought to stand, but every rebellion against authority will also not go unpunished. These are things we should note. These are things we should understand as we close this topic on "Male and Female" today. And I want us to, wherever we are, let's bow down our heads in prayer. Let's talk to the Lord. Let's talk to the Lord. Let's pray that God, God help me. Are you already married? We have said a lot of things about those who are married. Are you not married? We have said something about those who are yet to be married. Where do you stand in all of this matter? Talk to the Lord. Talk to the Lord. Talk to the Lord. Talk to the Lord. Father, we commit ourselves into Your hand. Lord, we pray. Lord, we are asking that Lord, help us to walk in heavenly wisdom, not earthly wisdom, in the name of Jesus. Lord, in all we think, in all we say, in all we do, may we walk in heavenly wisdom. May we run our life by the wisdom that is from above, in the name of Jesus. Lord, everywhere there is unrest in marriages, in lives, in homes, Lord, I pray that by the reason of this forum this morning, Lord God Almighty, I pray there will be brought rest and comfort to lives, to marriages, to homes, in the name of Jesus. Thank You, Eternal Father. Blessed be Your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's share the Grace together. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forevermore. Amen. This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's Word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission hit. Our regular activities are the discipleship class every Monday, 5 PM; Adolescent and Singles Club, every first Saturday of every month at 10 AM; Marriage Forum, second Saturday of every month at 10 AM; family life seminars, regular school outrages, and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Very Joy filling station along Idjare Road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 080-3386-1136, 070-3361-3848. God bless you all.