Mf — 07 MAY 2018

[background music] [background noise] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness on Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] Rather, it is a forum we are trusting God that will serve like a mentor and mentee thing, a mentor and mentee forum where mature singles, people in relationship, people in their marriages can learn practical things about the marriage covenant, about the covenant of marriage, about the institution of marriage, about God's intent, God’s purpose when he said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. Let's make a help that is suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). We are trusting God that the fellowship or the forum, whether we still call it Couples Forum or Couples Fellowship, we trust God for the actual name to emerge, the real name that it will be. But the focus is that it is more of a workshop where people can enter into the workshop and learn about certain things. That is what it is more like. Everybody who looks forward to marriage, that is why it is not just about couples alone. Anybody who looks forward to marriage, anybody who is in relationship, anybody who is saying that very soon I am trusting God for a relationship, they should come and learn what that bag contains. So it is an opportunity for you to tell your friends. If you look at the text, we say invite somebody to tell your friend, to tell your lecturer, to tell your neighbor, to tell your neighbors who are married. Come, let’s go to a workshop, let's go to a forum. It is not about a church. It is a forum where we can all sit down and learn about these things so that marriages can be more stable. Marriages can, the challenges we are facing today in marriages and in homes, the instabilities we are having, particularly among even among believers. Which is our major concern, even among believers. We trust the Lord that it will become a thing that as many as come into this meeting, they will not only receive light and salvation, but they will themselves become light and salvation to others in their various places of worship in the name of Jesus Christ. So let us pray. Almighty God, we thank you. We bless your holy name. We give you praise. We give you glory. We give you honor. We thank you for this opportunity again to commence this couples forum or marriage forum. Lord, we are asking, we are praying that every life for which this forum is emerging or why you are leading us in this direction, Lord, you yourself will bring them here in the name of Jesus Christ. And Lord, you yourself will speak to them, will instruct them in the name of Jesus Christ. Our Father, we are praying that Lord, as we look into scripture, as we open your word to learn, Lord we are asking because the Bible says Paul plants, Apollos waters, it is the Lord that gives increase (1 Corinthians 3:6). Lord, we are praying, give increase to our gathering in the name of Jesus. Give increase to the meetings in the name of Jesus. Meet with us. Meet with us. Individually meet with us. Collectively meet with us in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, our eyes are on you. Let nothing prevail against your purposes for our lives in the name of Jesus. Thank you, Blessed Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen and Amen. I would like to say that one major anchor that led to Family Tent, what God told us specifically and why we are not running a church, why we just run a ministry and we encourage people to be more functional in their churches even though they identify with us, but we want them to be more functional in their churches and we too, we are very, very functional in the church we attend, is that what the Lord told us that led to why we say Family Tent Ministry is that until we can have upright individuals, upright brothers, upright sisters, we will not succeed in having upright relationships. We will not have it. What you will have is ungodly relationships. What you will have is impurity, is immorality. Until people are personally upright, they cannot run upright relationships with the opposite sex. Whether they talk about courtship or the one that is not courtship, that they just corner sister or corner brother, it will not be upright because the life is not upright. A man cannot give what he does not have, either to himself as an individual or to the person he wants to share intimacy with. And the Lord said until we can have upright relationships, marriages will never be upright. It will never be upright. He said so we should go and build a tent and see how we can strengthen the church through the family as we raise upright individuals, make them run upright relationships so that we can have upright families. How are we strengthening the church through the families? What the Lord said is that, we are telling you the foundation of Family Tent, we are telling you why we are going this direction so that you can understand some things better. So that you can know, and I said as often as we gather as the Lord will opportunity us, I will be repeating these things not because there is nothing to say but because we want more and more people to understand this fellowship that is just taking off. This forum that is just taking off. We want more and more people to understand it. Now, what the Lord said is that, what do you call church? What is church? Church is actually not the building but the people. The building is just a place of worship. That is why anywhere two or three gather, the church is there. Not necessarily that there is fan, there is a label, Deeper Life Church, Redeemed Church, Anglican Church. It is not the label that makes the church. If you put that label and nobody gathers there and they always gather inside a school, nobody will call that place church, place of worship. Will they? No. So what you call church is actually the people. The people, where do they come from? They come from the family. So what you call church is actually a gathering of people from individual families. Husband, wife, the brothers there, they are sons of somebody. The sisters there, they are daughters of somebody. You get the point I am making. The children, they belong to some people. That is why people come with their children and their sons and their daughters and that is how you have families inside the churches. So when the Lord said strengthen the church through the family, what God was telling us is that, look, no church can be more spiritual than the families that gather inside. Once the family can be spiritual, then the churches will be spiritual because it is the family that will become the church. The family that will become the church. And so that is why God said it is Family Tent Ministry. Build a tent, put the family inside, minister to them. That is the ministry. Build a tent, put the family there, minister to them. So actually, Family Tent is a workshop where families are made better to go and strengthen the churches. And that is why we keep telling you whatever you are receiving here, because God is taking you somewhere in the church. God wants to use you in your church. God wants to use you wherever God is making you. And if you are leaving here to go and run a church, what you are taking from here is to go and help the church. And you may refer the people in the church to come here and also come to the workshop to come and learn as you stay pastoring them. That is the focus of this ministry. And that is why this meeting that we are starting, I want us to know that it is not just let us just start another something new. It is not anything new. It is not anything new at all. It is not. Rather, it is a thing that God has told us many from the foundation of the ministry. But you know, God bring out things in his own time. God bring out issues. What we have been doing at that level is that when we come to pre-marital counseling, marital counseling, whatsoever we talk about marriage, but now we see God is instructing us that no, there should be a steady meeting that address this matter. So as we address discipleship, we will be addressing the families. And we trust the Lord that as we run with this vision together, our life will be blessed and we will be a blessing to others in Jesus' name. Let’s take this worship song together. It was almost escaping me. Thank God for the reminder. [Speaker 1 & Audience] You are the Lord, let your name be glorified. You are the Lord, You are the God, let your name be glorified. Oh Lord, we give you glory and honor. You are the Lord, let your name be glorified. You are the Lord, that is your name. You will never share your glory with any man. You will never share your glory with anybody. Oh Almighty God, that is your name. Oh Lord, Almighty God, oh yes, that is your name. You will never share your glory with any man. Oh Lord, you will never share your glory with anybody. Almighty God, that is your name. Almighty, Almighty God, oh Lord, that is your name. Oh Father, you will never share your glory with any man. Oh Lord, you will never share your glory with anybody. Almighty God, that is your name. Oh, you've done well Papa, done well, you've done well in my life. Oh, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well Papa oh. Oh Papa, you've done well, you've done well Papa. Oh Papa, you've done well, you've done well in my life. Papa, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well, you've done well Papa oh. Oh, my eyes have seen, my ears have heard, my mouth will talk about the goodness of God. My eyes have seen, oh my ears have heard, my mouth will talk about the goodness of God. I say my eyes have seen, oh my ears have heard, my mouth will talk about the goodness of God. My eyes have seen, oh my ears have heard, my mouth will talk about the goodness of God. [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. Let's look into the scripture and we will take the matter from where we left it in the prayer section last week. That's the opening verse for this meeting. Matthew chapter 19. Matthew chapter 19. [Speaker 2] "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, 'Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?' And Jesus answered and said unto them, 'Have you not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.' They say unto him, 'Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?' He saith unto them, 'Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.' His disciples say unto him, 'If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is good not to marry.' But he said unto them, 'All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it'" (Matthew 19:3-12). [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. Two things that we will raise here as very instrumental and very fundamental to the matter of marriage, to the matter of whatever have to do with marriage is that, number one, Jesus clearly declared that the ordinance of God in marriage, please get it very clear. Jesus clearly declared that the ordinance, what God ordained in marriage, what God intend in marriage, the mindset of God about marriage is not a thing that man, man will readily take. It must be clear to you. The reason why we are beginning like this, the journey we want to take as we will be coming week by week, we trust God to be taking us through this journey twice monthly, first and third Monday. But what we want to begin with today, what we want you to take to your brethren in your churches and in your fellowship and to people when you see them one on one, when people are talking about relationship, I love this girl, I’m thinking of this, I'm thinking of that, you need to tell them that listen, what God ordained in marriage, if you truly understand it, the first thing you will say is that it is not good to marry. If you are rushing at it, you don't understand what God said. You don't. Men who stood with Jesus and they heard directly from his mouth, and they understood clearly that there is no another place to go except to him. I don't know whether you understand me. There's no other way to go except to him. You remember at a point in John chapter 6, we will come back to this place again. John chapter 6. I want us to see what happened. From verse 51. John chapter 6 from verse 51. [Speaker 2] "I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, 'How can this man give us his flesh to eat?' Then Jesus said unto them, 'Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you'" (John 6:51-53). [Speaker 1] Are you following something? Are you following something? We are going somewhere. What we first want to do as we begin this forum, this marriage forum, is we want to first look at what I call the opening issues about marriage. Opening issues, things that you must understand when you want to open, once you see where God put marriage. When you open the book, there are some introductory pamphlets that you first read, preambles you will read in that book. That’s the preambles we are talking about. We first talk about the preambles. Because by the time you are through with the preamble, you will know whether you still want to go further, or whether you will not need to marry. Many times, we don't open these preambles with people. They just, we just tell them you see marriage is there and then they just jump. When they now enter, we now begin to tell them the preamble. They say, "Ah I know, ah if it is like this, I wish we told them before they jumped into it." Jesus Christ our Lord was speaking here and he said, "Except you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whosoever eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood hath eternal life and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is meat indeed and my blood is drink indeed. Anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. As the living Father have sent me and I live by the Father, so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me." I hope you are following something. These are very serious issues that is discussed here. The person who eats me will live by me. To live by him, what must you first do? You must eat him. Please be following the matter. "This is that bread which came down from heaven, not as your father did eat manna and are dead. He that eateth of this bread shall live for ever." These things said he in the synagogue as he taught in Capernaum. Please what did the Bible say in verse 60? Can we all begin reading together now? [Speaker 1 & Audience] "Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, 'This is a hard saying; who can hear it?' When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, 'Doth this offend you? What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before? It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. But there are some of you that believe not.' For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him. As he said this, and he said, 'Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.' From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, 'Will ye also go away?' Then Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life'" (John 6:60-68). [Speaker 1] What I am saying is that the men who know that Jesus cannot be alternated, they must eat him and they must drink him. That his word is the life that they are looking for. Those men, what did they say about marriage? What did they say about marriage? They said, "If the matter of a man and his wife be like this, it is better not to marry." The men who understand that we cannot alternate Jesus, they know that what the Lord demands in marriage is not meant for men who are not ready, who are not ready to do some things that ordinarily, I mean ordinarily, common sense will tell you that, "Ah can't you do something else?" Do you get the point I am making? When Jesus confronted them with the matter of marriage, they said, "If the matter be like this." Why did they say so? Because they know that if they enter, they cannot do otherwise. Do you understand me? The men who know that they cannot do otherwise apart from the word of Jesus, they consider the matter of marriage twice before they enter. They consider it twice. They look at it critically. They look at it, they look at it. Am I sure I want to yoke myself with this thing that Jesus is saying? Am I sure I want to yoke myself? Jesus said what God ordained from the beginning, even though Moses could have deviated into the bush in allowing some things, but it's not as if Moses deviated into the bush. Moses, when he could not handle the hardness of men, he could not tell them to go away from him because whatever Moses was offering was temporary. Jesus owns eternal life. He can tell men, you know he asked them, are you still waiting? Moses could not tell the Israelites, "Are you, go now if you don't want to believe." Moses could not ask in the capacity of God, but Jesus is God. So Moses had to look at the prevailing situation at that time. What was the prevailing situation? When Moses told them that no, God don't want you to divorce your wife, no matter what you see in her, you must stay with her. You know what they were doing? Sometimes they will beat their wives to death. They will look for how the woman will die. So women were so much maltreated that Moses became afraid that if we don't relax this law, we will lose more life by this institution. We will be losing women. So let us rather disgrace the man. Let the man write a letter that if you just send her away, people will be thinking that it is the woman that left the house of her husband. But to show that it is the man that says, "Look, I cannot endure the woman again," you write a letter and paste in the woman’s hands so that anytime they meet the woman, to know that okay, it is the man that said he does not want you. You are not the one that said you don't want the man. So that Moses can bring out the fact that the problem was with men. And if I still tell you today, the problem is still with men. When I mean men, I mean the masculine gender. There is a hardness in the heart of men. Although in the gospel, we find a twine matter because even the law reflects it. We find a matter that also says that a woman can put away the husband. I hope you know. Are you aware? The gospel went a little further than the law. Do you understand what I'm trying to say at all? The gospel put the woman in a better position than the law. So again we can talk about what now? The hardness in the heart of the women. As we journey together in this thing, you will be understanding them better. But what I am trying to make clear as we try to open the preambles of the matter, that see if you as a lady, as a woman, if you correctly understand what Jesus ordained, if you correctly understand what was ordained at the beginning and what Jesus taught, that Jesus did not deviate from where? From the beginning. Marriage is a thing you will consider twice. You will look at it twice. You will look at it, you will look at it. Am I sure I want to yoke myself with this thing that Jesus is saying? Jesus said what God ordained from the beginning. And I just wonder that disciples began to count too many things in their head. What of it if you enter and you find out that this, what of it if you enter and you find out this, what of it if you are in it and you find out this? I am just thinking that they were counting a million of things in their head. Can we just think of some things that they would have imagined? Because it tells you something that even they themselves, they were coming from the background of Moses. You know what Moses said in Deuteronomy 24:1? "When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house" (Deuteronomy 24:1). That was the background from which they have been coming. That anyway, if we marry and it come to pass that the woman don’t find favor in our eyes, or we find favor, we find something that displeases us about her, write now, then you pick another one again. So that was also what they were expecting to receive. So when they heard that he told the Pharisees that Moses did that because your heart is problematic, that I am now telling you that we must return back to the beginning. Quickly, they said, "Lord, Lord, if the case of a man and his wife be like this." So you mean if I find something, if a woman don't find favor again in my eyes, or if I find something that displeases me about her, you mean I cannot? What of if she’s not giving me any child? What of if I discover she’s the one that has been bewitching me? What of if I discover she’s not making my life to go well? You may just count several things that a man would have counted. They said, "Ah Lord, our own summation that it is not good for a man to marry." And let us look at that thing very well. Please, ordinarily speaking, is it good for a man to marry? Many will tell you yes. Do you know why yes? Because they enter with the expectation of achieving a self-interest. Go and mark my word. Many say yes. Many will quickly say "Yeah no, how will a man not marry? He should be married, he should have children, he should have this, he should have that." Their eyes is more on what? On the benefit that accrue from it. Their eyes is not on the nature of the marriage covenant. That is why some people today have quickly decided to say no, it is for better for best, for worse to depart, for better to good. But like I keep telling people, whether you say for better for best, or you say from success to success, or you say from goodness to goodness, the Bible says "Many are the afflictions of the righteous" (Psalm 34:19). But from them all, the only thing Bible guaranteed the righteous is that he will be delivered from them all. There is nowhere in the Bible where it is written the righteous have no affliction. So if you enter inside, the affliction you can call it from better to best, whatever you call it. So if you see a barrel, it is from better to best. It is not from worse to worse. It is still the better. So, I don't know whether you understand me. If you notice, oh we need to get this thing very clear. It is still the better because from that thing, the Lord will deliver you. Whatever we find inside, whatever is inside the package, the afflictions in now, it is good to understand this opening verse as we look at the matter of marriage. The second thing we need to look at in the opening verse, I believe this first one is very clear. Is anything concerning it in our hearts? Let’s ask question. Is there something jumping in our hearts? Let’s be sure. Please ask question. This forum is more of interactive forum. We will not just teach. We will be raising matters. [Speaker 3] Jesus said except for the sake of fornication, a man will put away his wife. Is that like if after marriage they fornicated? [Speaker 1] Now, people have raised issues about that. Now, let me tell you the two issues about it. Some theologians or some believers believe that the word Jesus used there is fornication and that fornication can only be before the marriage. And that so if you have married your wife, there is no way you can put her away because the fornication you are talking about is the one before marriage. Are you getting it? What they are trying to say in essence is this, that if you have not put her away because of the fornication before you married her, you cannot put her away again. Like Joseph and Mary, they wanted to commit fornication, Mary, and then you put her away. That is before you married, you can put her away. That’s the belief of some theologians. But the problem with that position is this. The matter Jesus was addressing was not pre-marital relationship. The matter he was addressing was marriage. The second thing again about that position why some people differ from that position is that the word that is translated fornication, except one want to decide not to be sincere with scripture. If we want to be sincere with scripture, that same word that is used for fornication is a generic word that can be used for adultery, it can be used for immorality. That same word can be used for sexual immorality. So King James translated it, it’s just like when you say "blessed," it can also mean fortunate, it can mean enviable, it can mean happy. It’s a generic word. But King James always use "blessed." Some translations use "happy," some use "fortunate." You get the point I am making? So that word that is used in that place, the Greek word is a generic word that covers not just fornication, but all kinds of immorality. And they, but let's look at it more critically, brethren. Let us be more critical with this verse. To understand a scripture, we must look at what was preceding. Or else we take that scripture as, let's assume we don't have all this knowledge. They came to him to ask him, can a man put away his wife for any reason? And he said you cannot put away your wife. He now said, but Moses allowed us to put her away. We went to check that place, we saw that because among the Jews, on the wedding night, once a man discovered that you know they stay around, once the lady is not a virgin, you cannot marry her. Yes, because the token of virginity will be taken that day. As we move on in this journey, we will come back to why is God so categorical about virginity? That's why I said that this forum is not just a forum for married people. Why is God categorical about virginity? Why is virginity a serious matter with God? Now, virginity is not just for a woman. It’s both for a man and a woman because we have a problem thinking that virginity is about a woman. So please, by the time we come to those matters too, we will be discussing it. But what we are looking at is that in among the Jews at those time, once a man goes into a woman, a white cloth will be spread. Once they sleep together, the man is to take that white cloth and spread it to the community. Once there is no blood stain on that cloth, the woman will be killed. She will be stoned to death because she has been defiled while in her father's house. God want them to enter as virgins. Do you get it? So if we look back to that culture, the people Moses gave that letter were not the ones who were talking about wanting to take a wife for the first time. They have already taken a wife. Do you get the matter? Because for those who had a problem on the first night, the community will stone the lady to death. And once the lady is a virgin, that white cloth, you know who collects it? He will fold it and give it to the father of the girl. So that anytime later in life, if the man come and say, "Eh I want to put her away, I didn't marry her as a virgin," the girl will run to her father. Her father will bring out that cloth and say "Look at this man, this is the cloth with which he deflowered my daughter." Then they will punish the man for false accusation. Do you get the point I'm making? For that accusation, they will punish the man for wanting to put away a virgin, a woman which he took as a virgin. But if that day you want to take her, you say she is not a virgin, then they will kill her. So Moses, there was a provision for those who just want to marry which is not, if there is a fornication, the marriage cannot take place in the first place. I hope we are together. The letter was written to those who after that first day, he said after he has married her, he now find some things he does not like. Maybe the woman continue to give birth to female child and you know that in such situation, it means the man will lost his inheritance to the family line because only a male can inherit. So when Moses said you cannot put her away, there was a problem. They tried to poison the women and kill, go and read the Jewish history. They will try to kill the woman. So when Moses began to see that, he was now looking for a way because life is more important than marriage. Just like the same thing that Paul said that if the husband and wife cannot live together peacefully, maybe life is threatened, let them be separated. But they cannot go and remarry. Then let them come back again when their head is now back. Do you get the point I am making? So it was that kind of provision. But the only thing, the mistake that Moses made was that he went further to say the woman you can put away, the woman go and remarry, you go and remarry. But Paul said no, don't be unmindful. Paul understood that it is the Lord who command. Nobody can contradict the Lord. So Paul said they cannot remarry, they can only come back. I didn't tell you to go and remarry. You get the point I am making? So Jesus had to correct them that Moses did that because he did not understand what is at the beginning. Do you get the point I am making? So there is something in the beginning before Moses came. I hope that point is clear. So the matter therefore in that place, for fornication, the Jews never had problem. If a lady commit fornication, they stone the lady to death. If the man love that woman, then he will not talk about it because he will cover her up. Except that they can now play from deceitfulness. While they are inside that place, they may look for blood to put, that he will show to the father. They can do whatever. But once the man say she's not a virgin, then she will be stoned to death. So the Jews have provision. And for you to know that at the time of the Pharisees it was still taking place, the woman caught in adultery, they were to stone her to death. So don't think that that culture have stopped. They did not have problem with the matter of fornication as at the time they were asking this question. That should be clear to all minds. And that is why I believe that the other people who stand the other side got, that was why I now myself went to go and look at that word and I find it’s a generic word and it is true, it is a generic word. It can be translated fornication, adultery, immorality. It can be translated as that. And that’s why some scripture properly translate that thing to fit is to say adultery or uncleanness or unfaithfulness. [Speaker 4] Can the man go ahead and remarry if you can put away? [Speaker 1] Put her away if you want to put away for what we think adultery is committed. Even if you must put away, you remain unmarried. It’s better the man continue to enjoy it. You have to endure. Now listen. Listen. Look at the word of Jesus very well. We will come back to that. We will still come back to Jesus and divorce. It will be clear. We will still come back to Jesus and divorce. We will look at it, we will look at it, we use scripture to compare scripture. Then we come to an understanding. For now, I want you to see in that question that you were asking is that Jesus is not saying that once there is adultery, the woman should be put away. That's not what he's saying. He's only saying that adultery is a ground for something. Adultery gives a permission for something. But he's not saying that, do you know why it is not like that? It’s because if you read scripture back, if you compare scripture with scripture, is that he said that two are better than one. They will have a good work for their labor. For if one fall, what should the other do? Life the other up. So that somebody fall into sin, if your brother is overtaken by a sin, those who are spiritual should seek to restore. So when we are talking about adultery in that place, we are not talking about a situation where a wife is overtaken by adultery or a brother, the husband is overtaken by adultery and he's repenting, he's asking for forgiveness, he's crying to the Lord for help. We are talking about a situation where somebody has become reprobate. Somebody sees that as a way of life. Because the normal thing is that he said love does what? Bear all things. So love can bear if a wife fall into adultery, love can bear. If a husband fall into adultery, love can bear. Love beareth all things. It can bear it. Once you see a situation where one fall into fornication, into adultery or whatever, and one say "Heh heh! I am going! Jesus have freed me!" the divorce have taken place many years ago. He was just waiting for the show. He was just waiting. Maybe he had been praying, "Father let her fall, Jesus let him fall." They have been a conspiracy for the person to fall. There is nobody who is working in love with his partner when the partner fall, the first thing is to lift up again. So we must get this thing very, very clear. We must see it very, very well. So Jesus did not say, "Heh heh! Once you see adultery, go and remarry!" That's not what he was saying. As we journey on, the matter will be clearer. But we must just mark, one thing we are just marking today is that the disciples said, "If the case of a man and his wife be like this," that a man cannot put away for any other cause except for this. Because there are things ordinarily, you don't understand, there are several things. What of if you marry a man and at the after you have married, the man refuses to work? Maybe you were trusting God together he will get job after, he might say "Look, I don't anything that comes for me to enjoy myself, me I don't." What do you do? What of if after you enter, suddenly you discover that the man cannot impregnate a woman? I’m showing you things. If the man is impotent and you cover until you are married. Listen. If the man knows and he could successfully cover up and he did not tell you, he didn't tell the wife, and they enter into marriage, that deceit cannot change the covenant. Look, listen. We will still come to marriage by deceit is a topic. We will get there. I am showing you the hardness, I am showing you why those men said, "Ah, it is better not to marry." Because you don't know what you are entering into. But I will soon tell you why it is better. You will soon see. I’m only trying to make you see something. [Speaker 2] Sir, what you have painted, sir, you are setting fear. [Speaker 1] No, there is no fear. No fear. I only want you to see it. [Speaker 2] Let me give you an example of a sister. There was a sister that with all covering up and all of everything, even the brother you would think is in the spirit was, but because of the work of that sister with God, God kept revealing to her about the step she wants to take or about that proposal. And at the end of the day, even the pastor was saying, he was having this, the way God was surfacing. And she eventually refused the proposal based on she was not able to get what happened but with time she knew something was wrong. Because God kept making her to see like a sepulcher, like dead, anything that come to in line with that. So she just followed her heart and believed God and cut off the relationship. Not long after that, she began to see that brother was fake, complete fake, and so many other things. So if by God's grace you will not be deceived. Amen. But that you are deceived is not an excuse. What is your walk with God? God will not put us in darkness. No matter what, he knows how to deliver us if we are sincerely working with him. So deceit is not an excuse to break up a marriage. I know it's on both side but it's usually the men. You know the point that was just made, and look have you even checked the first thing about the end? Jesus Christ said, "Take heed that no man deceive you" (Matthew 24:4). So if you are deceived, look at people that are deceived and go to hellfire. Does that change their destination? "Ah this one is deceived, let him enter heaven." You take responsibility for whatever your life becomes. Me I know of the case of a sister who knew she could not give birth but never told the brother. They enter into the marriage together and they are praying for fruit of the womb and they are both going to church they are praying even though the sister knew that she did something, she had a, was trying to, you know, do something and they had to remove everything about the reproductive system. But afraid that if she mentioned that, no man will marry her. She was very active too in church and she didn't tell the brother and they were both praying, "Father give us a baby," and they were both and she didn't tell the brother anything. Not until much later then when the brother discovered. Look the point I'm making is this. We will soon come to the nature of the marriage covenant. We will be taking the opening preambles. But the point we are trying to open your eyes and see is that there is no any other reason under heaven for which we can put away. Because people are putting up several reasons today. Look at the case of a man of God, I don't want to mention which denomination. He was outside the country. He had a persuasion to come to Nigeria to come and do the work of God. So he wanted the wife to come down. The wife said no, she’s not persuaded to come down to Nigeria, prefer to stay in developed country. He waited and waited and waited, the wife refused to come. He now said nothing can be an entrance to the work of God. He now remarried another person here. He's doing well in the ministry today, so we will think. But if he knows that he will place ministry above marriage, he should not have married. He should have remained alone in ministry. Because God never placed ministry above marriage. He said if you want to choose a leader, first go and check whether he’s faithful to his wife (1 Timothy 3:2). God did not place ministry above marriage. These things must be clear in the heart of people. Some people are about to ask a question. It’s an interactive forum. So yeah. Let's make it closer to her so that we can be, just this can get to her. [Speaker 3] The issue of the Catholic Church where a marriage can be annulled for reason of non-consummation. They got married and nothing happened in the night and the woman said this was not a marriage, I’m not doing again, and they annulled the marriage. Because there was no sexual intercourse or maybe the man is impotent and cannot untie the knot. And for that reason they annul the marriage. Is that allowed? They do it in Catholic Church. [Speaker 1] You are saying that in a situation where two people went through the ceremony of marriage and there was no consummation, that is the man and the woman joining in the act of marriage? And that Catholic Church on that basis can allow them to separate if there was no joining by the man and the woman in the act of marriage? No, what is marriage? Let me bring you back. That is why we will come to the point of what we are calling marriage. We need to get some things clear and we don't run ourselves into ordinances that are contrary to God. If marriage is not consummated, there was no marriage. And nobody goes into marriage, if people goes into marriage not because they want to consummate marriage, they are not running with the mind of Christ. It’s not the mind of God. Go and check the life of men that do this thing that you are talking about. Go and check whether they are children of God. Go and check the men who do these things. God did not talk about marriage, when God was ordaining marriage, what was God thinking about? That two dwell together in complete nakedness. So if two are not coming together for that purpose, then what do you call marriage? Because there are so many strange things today going around us. I’m only trying to clarify them from what is correct. From what is right. So if men do whatever men want to do, men can also do whatever they want to do with what men have done. But going the way of God, because God did not ordain marriage only for Christians. God ordained marriage as a matter for humanity. If any human enter into marriage, this is what God have ordained. But we know that not all men fear God. Not all men submit to him. Not all men agrees with him. Not all men seek him. There are diversities of men. So the more they rebel against God, the Bible says that God will also come. The Bible says "The wrath of God is coming upon the children of disobedience" (Colossians 3:6). So people will disobey God and the wrath of God is coming. So if you don't want to be somebody that will face the wrath of God, it’s good not to go into marriage without looking at the ordinations of God. But what I'm trying to settle this evening, what we need to settle as we go this evening, I think we have gone past our time, we will have to take question. We will still take interactive before we leave some other time. Is that let it be clear to our mind that ordinarily, if God says that the case of a man and his wife is something that is superior to the case of a man and his children. Do you get the point I'm making? Can anything make you say your child is no more your child? Under what condition? What can happen that she will no more be your child? Nothing. What if you go to a law court and take a certificate that you are not the father? What if you disown her and the law gives you a certificate to say you are no more the father? Why? What is done will be done. Certificate is not DNA. No. What can dissolve fatherhood or motherhood? Probably when the certificate is given to the child that I disown you. By the time that child get to DNA machine, that certificate will be taken away. Will it change it? Nothing. Why? Because nothing can dissolve it. Now listen. A man is not one with his child. A man is not one, a woman is not one with the child. Yet it cannot be dissolved. But when he want to enter into marriage, it says "He leaves father and mother" (Genesis 2:24/Matthew 19:5). Marriage, what binds marriage is stronger than what binds fatherhood. He said he leaves them and is joined such that the way you are one with your wife, that's not the way you are one with your mother. You are not one with your mother. You are one with your wife. If you can put her away, it is only blindness that make us think that there is something under heaven by which we can put away. As we move on, we will come to why did Jesus say except for adultery. We will get there to be clearer. I want us to take the journey small by small so that we don’t miss out anything. Why did he say except for adultery? It will be clearer as we move. But today, have I made you afraid? You are not making sense, brother. Have I made you afraid? You are not afraid now. To understand these things better, it will make us to know why we need to understand the place of our work with God. Let us pray for this evening. We will continue in two weeks' time again. Next week we will go back to, we will look at discipleship. Continue in two weeks' time. Praise the Lord. [background music]