Mf July 16 2018 All Flesh is Grass

[Speaker 1] [Music] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tech Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] As we try to move on this week, let's take the text again. That very text we have been studying and studying and studying. From verse 22 again, Ephesians chapter 5. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husband as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause a man shall be joined unto his wife and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence—she reveres or she reverence—her husband. Now we are looking at—all of you know that the matter we have been searching and searching is that when this scripture is closing, it says "nevertheless." Is that not? Although the standard is about Christ and the church, the husband is not yet like Jesus, the wife is not yet the church glorified—you still see the church militant. It says "nevertheless." And two weeks ago in our last forum, which was the first week of the month, the first Monday in the month of July, we saw that the matter of "nevertheless"—the matter of "nevertheless" for a man—we were looking at the fact that he said, "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but he nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his bones, of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones." Now we saw that the reason why the Lord could be doing, could do, and is doing, and will continue to do what he is doing for the church is because the church is what? A member of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. To him, that is the joining. And we saw that on the part of the man, there must have been an experience of that kind of joining. Just as the way the Lord is seeing it, the man must have had that experience of that kind of joining for there to be a workable marriage. Now we want to take a step. I hope you follow the matter well. We are saying that what is the depth of your—what is the nature of your joining? What is the depth that you have? Like what my brother was trying to illustrate, the relationship you have with Jesus will determine the way you relate to people, particularly the way you can enter into marriage and run the vision of "nevertheless." That even though I am but flesh and blood, I can still love my wife as my own flesh. And even though I am still flesh and blood as a woman, I can—yes, it is possible—I can revere a man, I can reverence her as I would revere the Lord. "Nevertheless," because the Lord says so, it is possible. Now, that was our emphasis last week. Now, I said something as we were closing two weeks ago, I said something. I said if you don't understand this mystery of your joining to Jesus and you really drink into it, you are so much drunk into that, then you will be running a mentality in marriage that will make marriage not succeed. Now, the Bible says the reason why Christ, for example, could bear with us, he can carry us, he can tolerate us—in fact, it is so difficult for him to hate his body. He is seeking to nourish it so that he can cherish it. While the gate of hell is trying to work against the church, he is saying, "No, I will build my church and the gate of hell will not prevail." Why despite the state of the church, Christ is busy making intercession? Bible says he ever lives to do what? To make intercession. The Bible says these things I write unto you so that you sin not, but even if we sin, we have what? We have an advocate with the father. The reason why Jesus could do all of that is what we want to look at today. While the host is telling you that "nevertheless"—there is something about man that makes the Lord to be who he is to us. And if you don't see your relationship with man, particularly your relationship with your spouse—you will be running not understanding this thing—that your observation of others is a reflection of yourself. Your observation of others. That thing you see in people, that reflection, that thing you see in people, that observation you have about humans is a reflection of the same humanity which you carry. But many times when we are relating to people, we relate not understanding that it's a reflection of the same humanity which we carry. Instead of taking the position of man to relate with man, you know what we do? We take the position of God to relate with man. Instead of understanding that I'm a man—let's look at scriptures. I want us to look through scriptures. Scripture speaks for itself. I want us to first look at Hebrews. Hebrews chapter 2. Are you there? Hebrews 2. Can I read? I'm reading from verse 13. Talking about the Lord. Or let me begin from verse 9 so that it will be clearer. Hebrews 2 from verse 9. It says, "But we see who? Who do we see? I pray you see Jesus. But we see Jesus who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honor, that he by the grace of God should do what? Should taste what? He should taste death for who? For every man. Verse 10. For it became him for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons into glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through suffering. For both he that sanctifieth and they which are sanctified are all of one." Do you get that? Do you get what that means? Who is he that sanctifieth? Jesus. I hope you get that clear, that it is Jesus. And they which are sanctified, that is who? The church, the people. Are all of one. Can we check that translation? [Speaker 3] Okay, Basic English. "So Jesus makes people completely good and clean inside themselves. Both Jesus and all the people—both Jesus and all the people that he made good and clean—have the same father." [Speaker 2] Do you get it? Are you following the thing? They are all of the same father. So what is he saying? What makes them same father? [Speaker 3] That they are all joined to him. They are one with him. Is that not? Because unless we are joined heir with him, we cannot have God as father. It says we are joined heirs with Christ. He's the heir apparent. So as we are joined to him, then we are one with him and so we are also sons of God. Is that not? [Speaker 2] I'm trying to make sure they get something. Now, "both he that sanctifieth and they that are sanctified, they are all of one." Now, he is telling you something very, very important in what he did. Let's read on. "Are all of one, for which cause he is not ashamed to call them brothers." He's not ashamed to call them brothers. Do you get it? There is no shame in calling them brothers. Saying, "I will declare thy name unto my brethren. In the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee." Are you following something? So he is not ashamed. It's just like—I don't know whether you understand what is going on here. It's like you saying—let me give you the picture why he's talking about shame. It's like you saying that you and goat have the same father. Do you understand it? That's why it says, "Behold, what manner of love is this, that we should be called children of God." Man, even if he has not sinned—man, Adam, perfect, no sin—he is just dust. He does not equate to God. Man in sin... do you get it? Redeeming them from that level and identifying that we are of one father. Do you know how it is sometimes if a mental deranged person is your brother? You know when you want to identify, you don't want to identify. Or you don't want them to know that he is a mad person. You want to cover up. So he says he's not ashamed. The people he is calling his brothers, ordinarily they don't meet—by what is the yardstick by which we became children of God? What is the yardstick? When before God we are like grasshoppers. But he is not ashamed. So he says in the midst of the church I will do what I want to do. Now, I'm showing you—I'm taking you somewhere. That is why when my wife said the more you drink into Jesus, your perception of human beings must change. What is giving you problem in your marriage is that you still stand in the place of God to look at your spouse. You need to come down that you are also a man like him. There is a way you must understand that your observation of human being is a reflection of the same humanity which you carry. [background noise] Let me explain. Why is it that our leaders find it difficult—they quickly pass a death sentence on kidnapping. They say if you pass death sentence on corruption, looters—they said no, they should use amnesty so that they should declare that anybody who have any stolen money, if you can return it so and so time, government will not punish you. Why did they quickly pass a death sentence? Why are they afraid? They quickly pass it on kidnapping because they know that they will not go to that level. Why are they afraid to pass it on the present political people who stole? Because they know that tomorrow again, when they enter government—you understand? So their observation of those thieves is a reflection of themselves. So they are afraid that what they are doing there will eventually come back to them. So let's just give them soft landing so that by the time they are also caught—do you get the point I'm making? But if they have a very clean case and they are not afraid, they could easily do with kidnapping, they could kill all of them like they did in China. Now, I'm trying to make you understand something about your ability to tolerate, to carry people, to live with people, to understand people, to bear with people. That's the journey we are taking. The journey of that "nevertheless." Now let's move on. It says, "I will sing thy praise." Verse 13. "And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me." Verse 14. "Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same, that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is the devil, and deliver them who through death, who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. For verily he took not on him the nature of angels, but he took on him what? The seed of who?" So what is he trying to say? He didn't take—when he came down, it was actually flesh and blood that he took. Wherefore, in all things it behooved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people. Other translation. [Speaker 3] "It is clear that Jesus did not come to help the angels. He came to help all those people who are Abraham's family. Those people really believed God like Abraham believed him. For this reason, Jesus became completely like us because we are his brothers and sisters. He became our kind chief priest who understands us. He always obeyed God and he served God on our behalf. Jesus died so that God could forgive us. God needs to forgive us for everything we do wrong, so Jesus has got us mercy." [Speaker 2] Do you get that? Are you following this reading? Other translation. [Speaker 3] "We all know he did not come as an angel but as a human being. It was necessary for Jesus to be like us, his brothers, so that he could be our merciful and faithful high priest before God." [Speaker 2] Now why must he be like us? For him to be a merciful and a faithful priest, it became necessary for him to be what? To be like us. He cannot understand how to relate to us if he does not—he will not be merciful. He will be speaking from above our heads when he wants to make intercession. He won't know how to carry the intercession as a priest. He won't know how to say it because he never carried the nature. So he won't know how to say, "Papa, you know, you see, you understand, you know their nature is like this." Have you ever read it? So he put on that nature so that he can become a merciful and faithful high priest. Other translation, if we have another one again. [Speaker 3] "Jesus did not after all give his help to angels but to people like us, the descendants of Abraham. That's why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get us out of the mess we're in, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and be able to help where help was needed." [Speaker 2] Do you get it? Do you get why he had to do that? He wouldn't be able to know how to reconcile us to God if he don't know our nature. He wouldn't know how to make the plea if he didn't put on flesh and blood. There is something about flesh and blood that needs mercy. There is something about flesh and blood that needs to be helped. Are you understanding at all? There is something about that brother that seems to be speaking and fire is coming out of his mouth. There is something about him that needs help. That sister that looks like an angel when she sings, don't be bamboozled by it. There are matters in that—by the time you enter the details of her life, you say, "Ah, why are you like this?" "How can you be like this? But I thought you were a Christian." You will see matters. So Jesus had to enter into all the details. He had to enter into everything so that he can be a merciful, a faithful priest. He can know how to make interceding. He can know how to understand better how it is done. Now, what exactly is this thing? Turn your Bible—let's move. [background noise] Now, let's look at Psalm 103. Are you there? Psalm 103 from verse 8. Let's read together. Whatever version you have, let's be reading. [Group] "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger forever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame. He remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass. And as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth. For the wind passeth over it and it is gone, and the place thereof shall know it no more." [Speaker 2] Do you get something there? What did you get before I begin to make comment? God knows our frame. What is the frame? "Remembereth that we are what? Dust." What is the frame of dust? It's easily collapsible. Is that not? Number two, look at it again. "As for man, his days are as what? Grass." What is that saying about man? His life span is very short. As for man, the day is grass. You see it today and tomorrow is no more. So how long does marriage last? We say I can't bear it anymore, it is too long. How long does marriage last? I want to show you what made Jesus to be who Jesus is. If you don't drink so much into Jesus, you will not run a successful marriage. I want to make you understand why he says "nevertheless." Why the Lord is asking us, why the Lord is telling us that even though the brother expresses human weakness, nevertheless you still want to submit to him as Lord. Even though you see the sister expressing several weaknesses, you still want to love her unto death because you have an understanding. There is an understanding you must get. If you don't get it, you know... why do you think the Bible says this? Let's go to Ephesians chapter 4. Now, why do you think the Bible is saying this? Ephesians 4 from verse 31. Why do you think the Bible is saying this? Ephesians is addressed to who? To believers. Now, God is speaking to believers. He says, "Let all bitterness"—not some bitterness. He says, "Let all bitterness and what? And wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from among you and all malice." Why is Baba saying that? Why is Baba saying that? "Let all bitterness..." You know it's possible to put away some bitterness and still carry some. Speaking to the believer, he said, "Let all bitterness, all wrath, all anger, all clamor, all evil speaking be put away and all malice." Why? He knows they cannot but embitter themselves. He knows they cannot but hurt themselves. He knows they cannot but step on one another's toe. He knows they cannot but misunderstand themselves. He knows that there is the possibility of misrepresentation. He knows... look at this very practical one that happened in one of the places where I work. Somebody took Okada to bring her to the office. The Okada did not get to the office. It developed fault along the way. So she had to abort the journey. She came down and they gave Okada money. The Okada man gave her back change, collecting the full amount. She now said that, "Look, Okada man, the contract was to take me to the office. But look at where you dropped me and you are collecting the whole money." And the Okada man just blurted out something—[local language]—and the Okada just moved off. The sister was trying to call the man, "Hey, wait!" The thing so much—she wished she didn't give more than enough. Do you get it? She wished she had change and had given a fraction. So the thing was just paining her, paining her. With that thing she entered the office. Another sister was trying to greet her. Because she was still nursing that pain, she didn't hear. She just went inside and was still—I wish—regretting that, "Oh, that man, oh, oh." After some time, she was able to bring herself down and then she now walked up to that sister that greeted her first. "Sister, how are you? Good morning." The sister was confused. She didn't understand. She could not reconcile the behavior. She could not bring together the behavior. "Sister, you don't answer." The mood... it was not until later the matter was discussed. "Look, she greeted you like this and like this." "What? Is she the one that paid the Okada? What is her problem?" Do you understand? "Was she there? Am I her mate? I greeted her twice, she didn't answer. Who does she call herself? Because she had a master's? She doesn't even have a first degree. That person is younger than her, she has a master's. So because she has a master's, is that why?" Look, what happened was that day of Okada—the person that was mad was mad because he's human. He carried limited information. If he was to be God, that anger would not be there. But with limited information, she was reacting—yes, very correctly—but if you put the whole thing together, she was sincerely wrong. The sister too was surprised. She took it for arrogance and pride because she had a master's—"she wants to be the first to greet." I was even greeting her, idiot. I was even greeting her. By the time she got the whole thing, "Sister, I'm sorry. I thought... I thought..." You see, look at the spark that humanity brought in that situation. I'm showing you a scenario. So I'm asking why do you think the Bible is saying, "Let all bitterness, let all wrath, all anger, all clamor, all evil speaking be put from you and all malice." Why is the Bible saying that? Be ye kind one to another. What's the next thing? Tender-hearted. What does it mean to be tender-hearted? Understanding. Compassionate. Understanding. Can you be compassionate? Be understanding. Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Why is this Psalm going ahead? Get back to the Psalm. Psalm 103. Are you back there? Now, it says, "As for man, his days are as grass. As a flower of the field, so he flourisheth." What does that mean? As flower of the field, so he flourisheth. He flourishes very transiently. What does it mean to flourish? To be successful, to thrive, to do well, to grow, to expand. Is that not? He said he flourisheth as what? Flower. Easily peelable, easily destructible—you can easily destroy it—very vulnerable, very weak. Look at what God by the spirit said through the prophet in Isaiah chapter 40. Verse 6 to 8. Isaiah 40 from around verse 6. "A voice said, 'Cry.' And I said, 'What shall I cry?' All flesh is grass." This is God speaking again. "All flesh is what? Grass. And all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field. The grass withereth and the flower fadeth because the spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it. Surely the people is grass." What did he say again? In case you don't know, surely the people is what? Grass. The grass withereth and the flower fadeth, but the word of our God shall stand forever. Now, I'm trying to make you see something. What is the difference between a grass and a tree? One is life span. Trees can stay for 100 years. There is still something about trees compared to grass in terms of stamina—wind, erosion, whatever comes. But what did the Bible call man? Grass. He says by nature, by the frame of man, man is grass. Do you know what gave your marriage problem or your relationship problem? You carry the tree mentality about man. You don't understand that man is really blown here and there by what? Several winds. Let me tell you the wind that I'm talking about. I'm not talking about sinfulness. Talking about human weakness. Just like I gave you a very good example from that picture. Do you know as we are here now and we are all talking, somebody can be smiling, smiling now, and God forbid, just see just one phone call—"Hey!"—and begin to cry. Is it possible? Very possible. I'm showing you how weak man is. Did you know that it is possible to see somebody in the morning and not by evening again? The son of my landlord greeted us in the morning. He too went to the office. Around 12:00, 1:00, everybody was called that he died in the office. By that evening, people were around to dig the grave. Before nightfall, he was buried. We greeted in the morning. He was buried by evening. I am giving you an understanding of man. Understanding of when the Bible say don't let the sun go down on your wrath. "I won't beg him, let him beg me. If he don't beg me, I will not beg." Are you sure that grass will live till tomorrow? What gives you the impression that it's a tree? I pray God change you. There are certain work God must do in your heart. If not, you will not be able to understand why the Bible says "nevertheless." Husband, even though that wife is not submitting, is not yet up to the church, husband love her as you will love your body. And wives, see to it. See to it. See to it that you reverence this man. Revere—make sure. Nevertheless, see to it. The reason why I'm trying to make us see this is that the God who leads into marriage understands what he is leading into marriage. Are you understanding me? It is God that set us into family. Are you aware of that? He said, "He that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains what? Favor from the Lord." A person who enters into marriage is a mercy from God. Because you will know there are several people you started together that died along the way. They did not even enter into relationship not to talk of marriage. There are some that you are even older than that have not even had a first relationship and you have several children already. And you are older than them. And they are believers like you, they are not devils. So it is a mercy for God who is bringing people into this institution to understand—the reason why he's saying "nevertheless" is that don't enter into marriage with a tree mentality. Don't think this person that you want to relate with is a tree. Several kinds of wind blow him. Several kind of—he is collapsible as dust. A small thing can push him around. A small misbehavior, a small word that you may just say may suddenly make him... and you'll be wondering, "Ah, this small thing that I said, why are you behaving? I thought you were a Christian." You don't understand. Some people have even had—have you ever had a situation where you are just playing with somebody? "Hehe, look, look! Are you mad? Are you stupid? Don't talk to me like that!" "I'm—" "Don't play with me, idiot!" Have you ever seen people like that? You are just joking. Have you experienced it before? And later he will just say that, "I don't just understand. I was not in a good mood that morning." He'll say what happened? "Actually, for the past three days they have not paid my salary. I didn't know what was wrong with me." Am I correct? Man! I am showing you man. And from that incident, you may close up your heart. "Me, from today, nothing with that person again." Does it not happen? "Morning," "Morning. How are you?" "Fine, we are fine." You have redefined the relationship. You have changed everything. You have left your first love. Is that not husband and wife in the house? "Okay, our money—you spend your own, I will spend my own." "Okay, stay in your room, I will stay in my room." That's how they start. You can be going to work separately. "I will go with my neighbor, you carry the car." Like that, like that. By the time you ask them what was it? "Just imagine, we bought bread. He knows that I'm a man and I would want to eat more. As he ate more, he gave the—if he even left—and he was even—" by the time you ask what was the matter, you will be wondering. You will be wondering. The reason why these things go up, up, up and up is because we don't quickly recollect that this thing you have seen in this person is a reflection—you too you are not different from him. You carry the same what? Frame. At some other time, you that sealed up your heart against—at some other time, you too may not just be in a good mood. Somebody say "good morning," you just—"good morning," "morning." "What happened?" "Nothing! Leave me! I say leave me! Leave me, ah!" You have repeated it to somebody else. The many things that people close their hearts against one another for today, they are things which they themselves are guilty of in some other situation. It's the same thing you are guilty of. It's the same humanity. It's this same dust. It's the same thing—you carry it! You carry it! It is with you. You carry that same frame. You are also dust. The things you just get so mad at and you are mad at the person and the person may be saying, "Please, I'm sorry." "Sorry for yourself! Sorry for yourself!" Or you say, "Okay, okay, no problem, no problem." But there is problem. You know there are people like that—"Ah, no problem, it's well. It's well. There's no problem." But honestly, there are problems. You have redefined certain things. You have written certain things. In fact, the will has been written and sealed. And you just say, "No problem, no problem. I know, I know. We all make mistakes. No problem." But you are not feeling that way. I'm showing you things that shatter marriage. Things that destroy relationship. You see, that is why you will see people—some will start their relationship, people start their relationship—they would have fought more than those in marriage. I mean relationship, relationship, relationship. First they have settled quarrel, settled quarrel, settled quarrel, settled quarrel... by the time they enter, how many quarrels will we settle? You are busy fighting. You went to professional match. You are ready to play the real match. What is going to happen? You see, these are issues—the reason why I'm saying these things is that we need to look into our lives. How much are you drinking into Jesus? How much is Jesus affecting your heart? How quickly—that's why the Bible says be slow to anger, be slow to wrath, be quick to listen. Be quick to listen. Be quick—quick to... calm down yourself. Calm down, calm down, calm down. It says God does not deal with us according to our what? According to what we deserve. Why? Because many times God understands our frame. Sometimes God say "pray," God say, "Ah, I'm just tired, I don't even know." God say "pray," "No, Papa I'm not feeling it. I don't want to pray." And you will still see the Lord will work, work, work, work. If you don't listen, God will use somebody again. God will use a situation. Until that person or God himself will break you down and say, "Ah, God I'm sorry." You know just because—if God is to act as God—me I'm talking, you are wasting time—shut up! Okay, this one again! How many of us will remain? So God understands our frame. That is why God can bear with us. That's why he can carry us in our shortcomings, in our—you know, there are what we call human weaknesses because the frame is dust. And you see, if you really understand these things, you will also understand why you should be careful about planning your life. Did you know that even the way you pray is based on information that you have? Let me give you a good example, something that happened practically to me many, many years ago. I was in a mechanic workshop and I was praying. I was saying, "God, please help me, let this car be ready on time because tomorrow I have to travel to meet so and so appointment." As I was praying that prayer, you know I sensed that the more I want to pray the prayer, the more I just see God is not responding to the prayer. While I was praying, it was like God was not responding to the prayer. So I just prayed anyway, I prayed, I prayed. But I was wondering why it was like that. I was wondering why it looked as if God did not hear the prayer. I was still there at the mechanic workshop, talking God that, "Hurry up the mechanic to finish so I can meet up. Lord, let the mechanic—let the car be ready on time so I can travel." While I was still there, the mechanic would not finish the thing on time. So I was there and I was trying to tell God, "Please, let this thing... ah!" Just about towards evening, I now got an information that around that time I wanted the car to be ready and I should have traveled—it would have been a fatal mystery because along that axis there was crisis—vehicles were stranded, grasses were burning. "Ah, God, thank you for the mechanic did not finish." Now, are you understanding me? The prayer was prayed before. I was praying based on the information that I have. God that was answering was answering based on the information that he has. So even our prayers, they are just cited at our nose. They are always based on what we know. But the things you are praying about—so many things are in between that you don't even know. I'm showing you the frailty of man. While man is still telling God, "God, God, ah, Baba, answer this prayer in the name of Jesus!" God don't say, "Shut up, you are disturbing me." "Ah, what do we know? Ah, you fool, do you know that there will be crisis down—" has God ever challenged you like that? Why is he not challenging you like that? Because he understands your frame. He knows that there's no way you could have prayed based on the way he sees. You can only pray based on the way you are. And so it's not a problem to him. It's not an issue to him. But imagine the way we treat some people who have privileged information. And they say, "Don't worry, I'll see to that." Maybe for example—let me give you a good example of a case of mine trying to help a student for an admission. So when the admission was processed, because it was urgent, I had to help her go over the website and I accepted the admission on her behalf. But once somebody accept, the other person cannot see it again. So later, but before that thing will be processed, it will take another about three months before it will be processed. So she now call me, "Ah, Pastor, how—" I say, "Don't worry, it's done." After about a month, she say, "Pastor, I don't know whether I should call you again. My admission, sir. I've not seen anything." I say, "Don't worry, it's done." After another two weeks, "Sir, some people are already taking their own. I don't know whether you really saw it and you accepted it, sir." Now, is that not provocative? And I will say, "Don't worry, I understand you." She didn't see but I was knowing. How many times it can be provoking? When you tell a child, "You have told him this" and then he call again, call again, call in the morning, call—"Why do you keep asking that nonsense? Do you think I'm a fool? You think I'm lying to you?" You get—I'm showing you man! But have you ever seen God reacting to man like that? He understands our frame. He knows that we are dust. You see, it is this frame that you must carry. It is this understanding that you must carry in your relationship with people. It is a prayer you must pray for God to work in your heart. You know you see some children, they are piling up some things against their mother, some against their father. "Ah, this man, hey, let me start working. I will show him and he will see." And so they—do you understand me? Things are just piled up, piled up, piled up. "One day he would—" no matter—"He has done his own, me I know. Ah, don't worry, he's my—no problem, he's my father, God understand." You see, you start quoting scripture upon scripture while you justify what you are doing and the way you are doing it. But you see, I'm trying to make you understand something. The reason why there is "nevertheless" is because God understands our frame. He knows that we are dust. He knows that a lot of things, a lot of things are—there are several human tendencies, human weaknesses, human—limited information, an inability to see things through. In fact, sometimes you can have a sweet intention with a friend. By the time the person responded back, the way we respond back we say, "Ah, no I didn't mean that! I didn't mean that!" And then you say, "Ah, you are a bad friend." Mind you, you yourself several times when you have done something and then you say, "No, he thinks I'm a fool. I read psychology. I understand!" "It's not like that, bro!" "I look, I understand! I have put two and two together, even the way you are going." "But no, bro, what I'm trying to say is..." "Okay, okay, no problem, no problem. God will help us. The Lord is—the Lord will help us." "Ah, I understand." But you did not understand. You did not. You have carried things in your heart. There is bitterness somewhere. There is clamor somewhere. It's only one day when you have opportunity to talk somewhere and you're talking to somebody else, "That brother, ah, don't mind him. That Pastor, I'm avoiding him." Then later the brother will now hear from that person that, "Ha, and I thought this brother... and I thought..." Look, I'm showing you different things in human relationship. It is because you never dealt with your heart when you were single. That is why your spouse is suffering. That is why your spouse is suffering. You have carried all those kind of hearts into marriage. And so once you misunderstand, she must beg you throughout the year to get correct forgiveness. Once he does something, he must apologize, apologize, he must kill goat and cow before you can really believe that he is sorry. Because your heart is not tender. People don't—people don't enter marriage today with this understanding: tenderness of heart. There's a tree mentality. Fault-finding, picking it—you know some even write, they will write the date that their husband did it. They have a date, they even put the time. And they will have a record book. And after meditation, some people go and meditate on their record. He did it on the 21st, he did it... he said this, this is how it was said. And they—and they—they would be growing in the fact that they can keep record. You see, I'm saying this thing because we need to understand the kind of heart that runs marriage. The reason why God is saying "nevertheless"—the reason why God is saying, "Look, in your marriage, if in your relationship you want to follow me, forget about yourself." Forget about your interest. Don't be too conscious of yourself. Be conscious of the other person. Be conscious of the person's situation. Forget about yourself, forget your interest, deny yourself, refuse yourself, disown yourself. Do you know that if we all enter like that, you'll be quick to forgive? Do you know that if the husband is quick to forgive and the wife is quick to forgive—the husband is seeing that the wife is tender—all their human weaknesses, tenderness—weaknesses—do you know that it will not affect their marriage? But if we are to ask ourselves today, how many marriages are these things not affecting? How many marriages are these things not affecting? The minority or the majority? It's affecting the majority. Why is it affecting the majority? Where does the problem start from? It start—the problem of your marriage is not your marriage, it's your life. The problem is not this thing. The problem in your marriage is not your spouse. The problem is that your life—there is a problem with your life. The problem is not your spouse. The problem is that your life is not correct. Your own life. It is—it is your life that is not correct that is making you to see your husband as what is troubling you. We give a good example. Let me give a good example in the Bible. When Ahab saw Elijah, what did he say? What did Ahab say when he saw Elijah? When God told him go and show yourself to Ahab. What did he say? He said, "Aha, what? You troubler of Israel." But who is troubling Israel? Who was troubling Israel? Somebody left God, brought witchcraft, brought all kind of idolatry, brought everything, they abandoned God. God told a man to go and tell him that because of your sin there will be no rain except by his word. And there was no rain for three and a half years. God sent the man again to come and bring rain. And when he saw the man, "Can you see? Troubler of Israel!" You see, one thing I have come to realize is that many times as we relate with our spouse, we are blinded to ourselves. We are blinded. But look, let me tell you the truth. When the spirit of God begins to work upon an heart—do you know how you will know? When God's spirit begins to work upon your heart in a crisis, what will become a matter to you is how you contributed to it. It will not bother you again what the other person did. Let me give you an example. The husband went out—or let me even use a good example that once happened in our marriage. And someone who finds it difficult eating outside, especially when my wife is with me. So I prefer if I must eat, I prefer corn or something, but going to go a canteen and sit down to eat except if it's at my workplace. But just inside Akure or something, so I don't. And my wife knows that. So there was a day like that I was out of the house, I rushed out in the morning, I could not eat through the day, there was hunger in my hand. So I came back late in the evening expecting that food would be—food would have been ready. When I got home, everything was just calm. So everything... food was not coming. So anyway, I still let that, went to the kitchen, checked and checked, there was nothing. The first thing was, "Ah, why would somebody not—ah! This thing know—" and afterwards, ruminating on that, suddenly the Holy Ghost caught my attention. "Did you ever ask yourself what could have made her not to cook?" I said, "What? What could have made—what is your problem? You have not even found out, you have not started to find out why she didn't cook." By the time I went into the room, "Mama, you did not cook this and this and this and that." That was when I knew that there was health issues to manage. Are you understanding me? You see, the point I'm making is the reason you know that God's spirit is working in your heart in a crisis is that what the other person did wrong—yes, there is fault in that person—but what will be your concern is, "How did you—what did you contribute to the conflict?" Now, just imagine that in that situation I just ran there and said, "Ah, you did not cook. Why didn't you cook? What kind of nonsense is this? Did they not cook in the house? They didn't cook but I'm tired. What wickedness is that? Nonsense!" And then crisis starts. If God starts to work upon your heart, it will not be "After all, she too didn't cook and she should have called me that she did not cook. I would have looked for food too. If she had called me, maybe I would have reacted—" You are still seeing it from outside. God have not started to deal with your heart. If God begins to deal with your heart, you will forget the person. You begin to see, "Why didn't I even call home? Maybe if I had called home, I would have known that she's down. Maybe if I have..." you start seeing the matter from where? From your own end. Every time, I'm telling you the truth, I'm almost done. Every time you begin to see a matter that is speaking a work, that is speaking a matter from another person's end, that's not how God works. That's not how God works. God works from your end. He works from your end. God deals with you as an individual. He deals with the thing. Sometimes he will deal with the other person as an individual. But by the time two of you meet yourself, you say, "I'm sorry, I should have done this—" and the other say, "Even me too, I'm sorry. I should have... I should have..." That is how you can know the working of God's spirit in a relationship. And it can be any relationship. Relationship with your parents, relationship with your spouse, relationship with your brother, relationship with fellow Christians, relationship, relationship. Relationship with your neighbors. You see some Christians don't have good neighborhood. I mean neighborhood relationship. I mean people—people are not just free with you. People, they are scared of you. Your neighbor cannot have problem and run to you. They cannot have issues and say, "Please, can you pray with us?" Because you are lightning and thunder at every of their fault. You are lightning and thunder at every little provocation. Maybe one day the person's goat mistakenly eat your corn that you planted. Cutlass have cut down the head of the goat. Before by the time the person comes, you say, "Look, thank God it was your goat that I killed. If your son have said something, I would have killed the two of them." You understand because... I'm talking about... you see, there are people that I know a brother that if he enters the street—no, not even his street—the road that leads to his street—people have been greeting, "Heh, Ekabo! Heh..." I mean relationship, relationship, relationship. So much that it became an evangelism strategy—that it is easier for him to evangelize. It's not because those people they are—it's not because those people they are perfect people, they are angels. They have their flaws to cause their—but it was the way he managed things. It was the way he responded to it. What I am telling you today, and I think I will just close with this before people enter into marriage—what is troubling marriages today is the fact that you never saw God correctly as single to help your heart before you enter. You never saw it. So you see, if all of us, if we can all enter with a correct heart, if we can all enter with this kind of heart that does not see men as trees but as grass... I was in a—I want to end with this thing that I said in a meeting one day. It was a big church and then people have raised different kind of things and all of that and I just said this. I said, "How short is life?" They said, "Very short." "Are you sure?" "Ah, ilu aye, very, very short." I said, "Okay, life is very short." I said, "And I now ask, at what age do people marry?" They said, "Some at 25, some at 35, some at this, some at this, some at that." I said, "Okay, let us take average." "What average can we take?" They said, "Okay, let's take 25." "Okay, although it could be above, it could be below. Let's take average at 25." I said, "Okay." I said, "Let's assume someone live for 75 years." "Has he lived for a long year?" They said, "Ah, eh! At 75, somebody has gotten what they called long life." I said, "Okay." I said, "So if somebody live for 75 years and he married at the age of 25, subtract 25 from 75." He is left with 50. Happy? Life is short. I want to show you marriage life. How short is marriage life? So they enter at 25, so remain 50 years. I said, "Most likely, is it possible that the person will sleep for how many hours in a day?" "Hehe, some people can sleep for 12 hours." "No, awolagba no, some take 6 hours, some take 7 hours, some take 8 hours." You know people do different things. They said, "Okay, let's take average of 8." I said, "Okay, let's take average of 8 in all." I said, "If somebody sleep, somebody is living for 75 years and he sleep for 8 hours a day, that's one third of his life. Is that not? Is that not one third of his life?" Am I correct? I said, "So let's remove what is one third of 75?" They said 25. "So another 25 is gone, remains 25 years." I said, "What of his job? How many hours do people work?" "Ah, some said 14 hours, some said 8 hours, some said 3 hours, some said 10 hours." You know people top up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down. We said, "Okay, let's agree with—let's take government own." "If we give 8 as government, how many hours?" We calculated they said 8 hours. "Okay, I said 8 hours again." 8 hours of 24 is also a quarter of 24. I said, "Okay, 8 hours of being in the office, that will be 25 again." I said, "So what is left?" They said "nothing." I said, "If somebody lived only 25 years, he eventually spend no time at all. And you say the marriage is too long! Even if you marry at 25, in the end you spend no time at all. There is still no time." We say the marriage life, the time together—8 hours you be on your job, some hours you will sleep, that... so the real time you spend together is so small. It's so—the time you talk together, you relate together, if you check it, check two of us that are working. In a day, the husband will go, am I correct? Or the wife will go. You both see in the evening. Sometimes [snores] you sleep again. Maybe for in that 24 hours, maybe you will really talk for about three hours, if it is possible. Is it up to that in some home? So I tell people, you want to spend just three hours interacting with somebody and you cannot make that three hours enjoyable? You cannot invest into that three hours? You cannot make some sacrifice? You'll be at your job, you will laugh, you will play, you will do all that. When you now get home, the marriage—just three hours of the 24—you will make it war again. "He hated me! Heh!" "This one will pay, that one will pay." You cannot see... I said, "How—how long is marriage life?" Why can't we sacrifice to enjoy our togetherness? Brethren, all flesh is grass. The glory is flower. As for man, his frame is dust. Let us pray. As for man, he is—I want you to talk to the Lord for yourself. Talk to the Lord about yourself. If you are not married, you begin to ask God to help your heart. If you are married, ask God, "God, help me, help me to redefine my spouse. Help me, help me to look at those matters again. Help me to look at them again." If you are not married now, one day you will be married, one day you will be in a relationship. You need to understand this matter before you get there. You need to see it, you need to know it. That all flesh is grass. The glory is flower. Little, little things can just shatter your marriage. Little, little things can just spoil your relationship. But they spoil it because your heart is not tender. They spoil it because you are quick to speak, you are quick to get angry. You are not slow to wrath. You are not slow to anger. You are not seeing your spouse that this sister is actually a dust. This brother is dust. He is dust. He is dust. Even me that I am talking, even me, me, the husband or me, the wife, my information may not be correct. I have limited information. I am not like God that knows all things. Let me learn to be patient to listen. Let me learn to have a light heart, to wait to hear the other person out. Let me try to understand personality differences, up-bringing differences. So many things affect marriage. Different up-bringing—what you think is evil, the other person because of his up-bringing he see it as correct. What you think is right, the other person... and you begin to wonder, "What is your problem set?" "Ah, this thing is evil." And the person says, "No, in my own home this is how we would normally behave." And you'll be wondering, "Are you—are you well?" The person is actually well. The problem is just your up-bringing. Look, if there are things you need to—ask God to help your heart. Ask God to help you. The Bible says put away all wrath. Put away all malice. Put away all bitterness. Put away clamoring, put away anger. Be tender-hearted. Be tender-hearted. Be tender-hearted. Be tender-hearted. Be kind towards one another. You know, be compassionate, be understanding. Try to understand the person. Try to know why the person is behaving the way he is behaving. Try to look more—more closely. Try to look—forget about yourself. Many things that hurt you, they are not intentional. Many things that pain you, they are not intentional. Many things is just because of human limitation. The person did not understand you. He misrepresented you. You need to understand that he is a dust. It is possible. You need to—you need to carry—carry the grass mentality into your marriage. Carry the grass mentality into your home. Carry it, carry it. Ask the Lord to help your heart. "Lord, help my heart to see men the way you see them." That's the prayer. God, help my heart. Help my heart. Help my heart. Lord Jesus, into my heart. Lord Jesus, touch my heart. Lord Jesus, be the Lord of my heart. Lord Jesus, come in, come and reign. Lord Jesus, come in, come and stay. Help me, I want to know you better and better and better and better. I want to know you better and better and better and better. Help my heart, Lord, deal with the bitterness in me. Deal with the wrath, deal with the clamoring. You are just clamoring, you are clamoring, you are vengeful. It could be—it may not even be against your spouse. It may be against your father, it may be against your mother. It may be against your brother, it may be against your sister. It may be against your neighbor. It may be against your pastor. Look, let us learn to carry a tender heart and an understanding heart. And understanding a compassionate heart that see men not as trees but as grass. That understand that look, I must be slow to anger. I must be slow to anger. I must not allow the wrath to go down—I must not allow the sun to go down on my anger. He says—he says, "Be angry but sin not." Be angry but sin not. God is not against your getting angry. Some things can just make you get angry. But he says don't sin. Don't sin. Don't let it become bitterness. Don't make it make you to disrespect your husband or look down on your wife and just rubbish your wife and just walk upon her and just walk upon your spouse or just look down and ridicule your husband and just think he's nothing. No, don't let your anger lead you to sin. You can be angry but don't sin. Certain things can make you mad, but always understand: "This same thing, me too can also make somebody mad. Me too, what I'm doing can make my spouse mad." Let me learn to be patient when she makes me mad or when he makes me mad. Let me learn to be patient. Me too, I am guilty of these things. Some of my innocent actions can make the other person mad too. Lord help me. Lord help my heart. Lord help my situation. Lord Jesus help my heart. Help my heart Lord. Help my heart. In the name of Jesus. Thank you everlasting father. Oh, blessed be your holy name our God. In Jesus name we pray.