Mf Nov 24 2018 Reviving the Family Altar

[Speaker 1] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Text Ministry. May ye be blessed as you listen. [background music] [Speaker 2] We are looking at the topic, "Reviving the Family Altar." And what I simply did was to try to come up with three sections of the things we would discuss. The first one is looking at the keywords in the topic. The second one is, why must we revive the family altar? And the third one is practical steps to reviving the family altar. So, we begin with the first, looking at the keywords in the topic. I'm looking at my congregation. I have a lot of children and I have a ministry towards children. So, I am trying to see how everything I would do today, that children will still have a place to be blessed. Children, you will be blessed in the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 2] So, let's look at the keywords in that topic. Reviving. When we say reviving, reviving presupposes or it means that something was there before. Something was there before, but somehow the thing began to go down, or was going down small, small, small. Let me use the language of my sister, little by little by little. *Di oju ajo so kete sile, o tun wa di oju ajo leyin.* So, when we talk about reviving, reviving means something has been okay at a time, but somehow it is not like that again. To revive the family altar, it doesn't mean that we are agreeing that we are speaking to people who are believers. Unbelievers don't have family altars. But it is expected that Christians should have altars. And so, reviving means let us bring fire, fresh fire, into something again. The second keyword in that is family. You know, one thing most people don't take time to recognize and which has led to—let me use this illustration. You know, you have the right to buy your car. *Owo ara mi ni mo fi ra moto yi, mo le fe fe mo fe ko.* I have the right to buy my car. Yes, it is my car. But if I don't want the car to kill me, there are rules to obey when I'm driving. Those rules are not my rules. Are you with me? Those rules are not my rules. Those rules, they are actually traffic rules. Is that not? But imagine that—I remember this very faithful day that I was coming from Ogbomosho driving down to Akure. Just at the curve, some of you are used to that road. I go every week, almost every day, so I'm used to that road. We were coming from Ogbomosho, just by that curve, a commercial car left his lane, was trying to overtake. Unfortunately, he came headlong with a trailer. The trailer could not swerve because it's a trailer. So, the trailer overran the vehicle and everybody died instantly. Now, what I'm saying is that the driver owns his car, but he refused to obey the driving rules. The rule is the traffic rule that was made by government. He just felt, "Oya, let me overtake me be now, nothing can happen." Unfortunately, what happened? He squandered his life and that of everybody inside that vehicle. What I'm saying is that some people don't realize that marriage is an institution that is governed by certain rules. Even though *owo ara mi ni mo fi se marriage*, she is my wife, is that not? I remember my father would say, *Atokun e, ataye e, temi ni*, talking to my mother. Yes, it is your own. But the point I'm making is that there are ordinances that God has set that if you don't follow those ordinances, marriage will mar you. Marriage will mortgage your life. Some people are married, but they want to behave like singles. Even though the woman is your wife and the man is your husband, there are divine rules to obey. *Olorun ni awon igbekale, awon ipinlele, leseese, leseese* that if you don't follow them, just like that driver that wasted his life, marriage is wasting so many people today. It would have been better that they never married. *Olorun ko ni jeki a ra moto boya ko ma se wahala aye.* Am I correct? So, family, that institution of the family, we are talking about that institution of a man, his wife, and the children. That institution. We are not talking of a personal altar. You know, I was talking with somebody, he was talking to his wife and said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. If you like," talking to the wife, "if you like, go pray. If you don't like, don't pray. I know how I am with my God." I just laughed. This is a confused man. He is a confused man. He does not understand what we are talking about. We are talking about that institution you call family. There is the family altar, not the personal altar. Not your personal prayer life, but that thing that brings the husband and the wife—they started that altar first. It would have been burning, burning, burning. Then later, they now begin to bring the children one by one into that altar as the children come in. Then the last word there is the altar. What is an altar? *Awon Yoruba ni ibe pepe.* What is an altar? We are not in the Old Testament days where you will say—you know, the Yoruba normally say *oju bo ogun lati nbo ogun*. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? It is at the shrine that you worship Ogun. Gone are those days. God is Spirit, and those who must worship God must worship God in spirit and in truth. So, when we say the altar today, we are not talking of one place in the room where you put a table and a Bible and a bell. That is not what we are talking about. That is not the altar. We are talking about the consecration, a recognition. Like I was telling somebody, major decisions in my family came from the place of the family altar. I remember 2003 December, me and my wife, we were praying. We were praying. It was at the place of that prayer that the Lord said, "Put everything together and leave Ibadan state now." Instantly, the following day, I traveled down to Osogbo. What I'm saying is that I'm talking of a recognition, a consecration, an understanding, a mind of agreement where we understand that look, myself, my wife, my children, we must meet with God. That is the altar. The altar is not something physical like in those days. *Kise nkan ta gbe si ibikan ta nkunle niwaju e.* No. But as a husband and a wife, both of you, do you understand that we must have a time that we come before the Lord in agreement, in a togetherness? We must meet with God together. That is the altar of the family. An understanding that *emi ati iyawo mi*, we must—look, we can't do without. We must have time. We must have opportunity where we say, look, I, my wife, my children, we want to seek the face of God, and it's on a consistent basis. That altar, for some families, they call it family devotion in the morning. That altar, in some families, goes beyond the family devotion. Like in my own home, we have the family devotion where my wife, myself, and the children will come together. We study the Bible consistently, we pray together. We have another time again we call prayer meeting time, family prayer meeting, we pray. But there is another altar again. That altar is especially for just me and my wife. That is another altar again. An understanding. We set certain days apart, certain times apart that look, we must come before the Lord together. So, it depends on the family. But I do encourage couples, there must be the place of the family devotion where you bring the children, everybody together. But there must especially be another altar. Do you know why? Do you know why? The children are birds of passage. Do you understand me? You know, sometimes when some things happen in the house and maybe I bring some things to the home for my wife and my children say, "Heh, Daddy, what about us?" I say, "Sorry, this is exclusively for my wife." *Wahala o ga o.* I say, very soon you too will tell me, "A man shall leave father and mother." It's just for her, not for you. But that is the truth. That is the truth. You know, sometimes mothers get attached to children above their husband. That is foolishness. Some fathers love their children above their mother. It's wrong. While a man is one with his wife, a man is not one with his son or his daughter. Am I correct? I'm not one with my son. Very soon, you will find his other half and become one. So, that is what I'm trying to say. You see, particularly the man and his wife, they must have a time, they must have a consecration, they must be able to build their relationship in such a way that they have a time that they can consistently meet with God. They can consistently—husband and wife, they must relate in such a way that *won ni pepe kan, pepe adura*, where the fire on that altar burns so much that it is a coverage for everybody in the home. So, I've spoken about two levels of consecration. There is the family altar, which is very, very important, where you involve the children and everybody. But there is another altar again that is just exclusively the man and his wife. You see, if a man and his wife don't develop a consecration where they can meet with God together, the truth about their relationship is that—let me find how to explain it—a mixture, a mixture and a solution. Okay, the Yoruba says, *won papo ni won o kuku po.* [Speaker 2 imitates mixing kerosene and water] Okay, look at this. Kerosene and water. If you put kerosene and water together, what will the water do? What will the water do? It will form bubbles inside the kerosene. You know, you can still see the water separate from the kerosene. But if you put water and milk together, can you bring the water from the milk again? *Awon idile kan, won papo, won o kuku po.* Do you understand me? It is like the mixture of kerosene and water. You can still separate it. *Awon idile kan, won kuku po*, it's like the mixture of water and milk. The way to know that a man and his wife are indeed one is that you will discover that there is this altar that is just the two of them. We will soon go to the Bible. But I believe I've been able to define the keywords. Have I? Reviving, the family, the altar. Now, the next thing is, why should we revive it? Why should we revive it? Now, you see, the reason why we must keep that altar on is because normally what I've come to notice is that many times, most families, they start well. *Won bere dada.* From the start, the thing will be going, it'll be going. After some time, interferences start coming in. *Awon kini kan bere si wole, kini kan bere si wole.* Before you know it, some of those things that come in, they could be very, very positive. Let me give you a good example. It's possible when they newly married, *iyawo o ni ise, ise kan kan o n se*. Maybe he is just a teacher around. So, by 2 o'clock he has closed. He is back home to meet the wife who is a full-time housewife. Do you understand me? There is a lot of time. Ah, they will pray. Yes, yes, let's pray. This time, the prayer may be so strong because they are praying to get a good job. Do you understand me? Because they are looking for something. Are you following me? Now, along the line, jobs open up. The husband becomes a banker. The wife becomes an administrator somewhere. The husband goes 5 AM to come back 10 PM. The wife too will wake up, *o n sise, o n sise, o n lo si office.* Suddenly you will discover that, "Heh, morning prayer, whoa, okay, we'll pray it in the evening, in the evening." In the evening, when they come in the evening, it is late. Before the husband comes, the wife is asleep. Before—do you understand me—children have slept. "Whoa, *o ye Olorun, Olorun mo pe* it is in my mind to do it. *O ye Olorun, o ye Olorun*." Are you understanding me? Now, it could be something legitimate. It's not a quarrel. It could be something legitimate, something good. It could be a blessing. Do you know that blessing is a good thing? But a blessing not well managed is destruction. If you don't manage blessing correctly, it becomes destruction. So, that could be a reason. Another reason could be friction between the husband and the wife. *Ija de, o n se kini kan, ko se dada, iyawo se kini kan, ko se dada.* And then because of friction, whatever—you know, let me give you the example of this couple. Since I'm recording, I would not want to be too precise. I hope I'm very clear. Just permit me. This couple, X and Z, husband and wife. You know, the husband came to me one day. He said, "Sir, I don't think I married a Christian." I said, "What happened?" "Can you imagine, my wife, I call her for morning prayers, she's not there. Family devotion, she doesn't do it again. This and that." And she was just talking and talking and talking and it was—you know. Then I said, "Heh?" I said, "When did this start? Was it like that when you newly married?" He said, "No." I said, "Okay. Was it something that started when she became pregnant?" He said, "No." He said, "It started shortly after the baby came." I said, "Okay." I said, "What happens in the night when the baby came?" "Heh, me I sleep, I sleep." I said, "Okay. Okay." I said, "What happens, the baby, who takes care of the baby?" He said, "Heh, in the night, me I just sleep." I said, "Okay. Okay. I said, but are you aware that she could be awake through the night taking care of the baby?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "Okay." I said, "When we had our first son, we normally do shift. I will be with the baby from 10 to around 1 or 1:30, then I will go and sleep. Then my wife will take from 1:30 to around 4 or 4:30. Then we take over again like that. Then sometimes the other way around." He said, "Heh?" Oh, then we went to meet the wife. The wife said, "I don't understand my husband. I will be with this baby through the night. Only around 5 AM when I'm managing to sleep, that is when he wakes me up for devotion. *O pe buruku l'onko mi yi.*" She said, "Sir, please." I said, "Sister, I understand." You know what I'm trying to bring out? I'm talking of—because the husband could not understand that, what happened? The family altar, the last time they prayed together was about a month ago. I mean, that time when I was told, they prayed together about a month ago because they could not manage well that friction. They could not manage it. So, *ija, o n se nkan kan, ija, aidora eni ye, awo.* You understand, misunderstanding, misrepresentation, miscommunication, inability to manage things correctly, bad conflict resolution, lack of proper communication—these are things that could bring breakdown of the family altar. And God knows that. The husband says, "I know I'm praying to God." The wife says, "I know I'm praying to God." But it's not correct. It's not correct. So, why must we revive them? Do you know why I'm saying this? I would not be looking into your own family. You have various reasons why the altar may be going down. It could be because of blessings. Maybe now the husband works in—like my very good pastor there—he works in Osogbo, the wife works in Ondo State. That may be a reason why the family altar may become dicey. You just be dancing. *Olorun mo mi, o mo mi, mo le ma gbadura papo, ko si nkan n be.* Oh, you know what I'm trying to bring out. It could be blessings. But I want to show you that whatever it could be, there is a way around it. We'll come to that when I come to practical steps to building the altar. But the point I'm making is, why must we revive this? Why must we do something about it? And I have a few points for you. A few points for you. Now, why must we revive? A, the first one. Please write down. The home altar connects with the church altar. The home altar connects with the church altar. B, the second one. Two are better than one. The third one, it is the true test of spirituality. It is the true test of spirituality. C—sorry, D—it is the fundamental divine bearing for children. It is the fundamental divine bearing for children. And quickly, we'll take them one after the other in terms of how they connect. Now, if you look at Malachi, Malachi chapter 2 for the first one. Malachi 2. Please, somebody can read from verse 13 for us quickly. Malachi 2 from verse 13. If you are there, please read for us. [Speaker 3] "And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant." [Speaker 2] Thank you, ma. You can let us stay there. What did the Bible say? What did the Bible say? *Kini nkan meji ti won se yen?* What is the second thing that they do? "Covering the altar of the Lord with tears." With weeping, with crying out, insomuch that the offering that was brought to that altar was not what? Regarded anymore. God didn't regard it anymore. Then what now happened? *Kila won eyan so?* They said, "Why?" Is that not? Is that not? What was God's answer to their "why"? Because the Lord has been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth. You have dealt treacherously with thy wife. Okay. Now, what is—why did God refuse to take offerings that came to the altar? Because there was a problem between the man and his wife. You get this? There was something between them. God said, "I'm acting as a witness between who?" The man and the wife of his youth. *Oun n je bi eleri laarin ohun ati iyawo to fe ni igba ewe e.* Not between him and his wife. Do you understand? What this means is this. Sir, when we brothers want to get our sisters to marry us, what impression do we create for them? We create the best impression. *To ba le gba mi, sister yen, a ma fly, a ma fly.* Number two, "If you don't give birth on time, I will throw you out." Number three, we get this sister to believe in us and follow us. *Kini mo fe mu bo?* You know what God is saying? There was something you made this woman realize before she obeyed you. *O ni awon ajoso te jo so, o ni awon nkan kan, o ni awon impression te create.* So, God said, when you were marrying the woman, *o ni awon aso-tele yen, 'Oo ti ri', 'You are the cocoa seed in the water', 'I will make life comfortable for you, in fact, with me you are going places, in fact...'* Do all those things and the woman will say, "Okay, okay, okay, okay," and then she followed you. The woman would have followed you. It's not that at the altar, "Will you marry this brother?" That's not when she's deciding. She has decided before she came to the altar. Those things that were discussed between you and I, *oro kole-kele, kaye ko ma gbo,* do you know that all those conversations God is interested? *Oluwa n fe si kiki.* So, when the man now begins to misbehave, God said, "Look, that wife of your youth, the things—*awon ajoso, awon adehun, awon nkan to so fun ko to fe e*, you have treated them with neglect." So, anytime there is a problem with the family altar, it affects the church altar. *Ibe ni oro yen ti se yen.* When you bring offering to the altar in the church, God will not recognize it as such. Because oh, there is a problem at home. So, if the family altar, our consecration, our togetherness in the place of prayer, once something affects it and it is broken down, what happens? When we come to this altar, God rejects it. God rejects it. *Ti idile ba ma daru, won a si ma so orisirisi ninu ijo.* Some will start doing different things in church. *Won ni Taiwo n ko, o lo si London, Taiwo tutu o, olowo wa ni London.* Do you understand me? It is very important for you to see that we must not deceive ourselves. If there is a problem in the altar at home, what happens? There is a problem with the church altar. It's connected. So, if we want this place, the fire here, to be an unusual fire, it begins to cost each of us at home with the family altar. So, I tell people, not for the sake of your own life, for the sake of the body of Christ, please build your home. Let the family altar be strong because—if you look at the second thing I said here, I want to be fast with them—the second point, I said it is what? Two are better than one. Look at Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verse 9. Ecclesiastes 4 verse 9. Please, if you are there, read for us. [Speaker 3] "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up." [Speaker 1] Thank you, sir. What did the Bible say? Two are better than one. They will have a good reward for their labor. Because if one falls, the other will do what? Lift him up. But the person that is alone, what does the Bible say? "Woe to him that is alone... when he falleth, for he hath not another to lift him up." Do you know what I want you to see? He said, "A man shall leave father and mother, and the two shall become one." Is that not? Now, the Bible says these two—these two—when they come together, there is something about the two. Why is two better than one? Who can remember that Scripture in Deuteronomy? Why is two better than one? He says, "One shall chase a thousand, two shall chase ten thousand." Now, look at this. When my sister prays alone, she chases how many? A thousand. When my brother prays alone, he chases how many? A thousand. When the two of them come together, they chase how many? Ten thousand. Do you see something? That there is additional eight thousand. When they pray alone, when they have separate prayer—when they pray separate, when the altar is not burning, even if your personal altar is on fire, and your husband's altar is also on fire separately, all the family will be chasing is two thousand. But if the two of them come together, God says it is better because it will become what? Ten thousand. There is additional eight thousand. Now, do you know what it means? It means that no matter how strong our personal altar is, once a man becomes married—no matter how strong a woman is, once she becomes married—the best she can do through her strong prayer life is to conquer certain battles. There will still be additional eight thousand battles that are left unconquered. Are you making the point I'm making? There will still be additional eight thousand—additional eight thousand battles—that are left unconquered. But when she is not married, it's a different case. Once she becomes married, because God wants that two to be one. When that two become one, that is why it said when two or three shall agree as touching anything, it will be done. So, once a husband and a wife lack a consecration where they can both meet with God over their family, there will be a battle of eight thousand that is left unconquered. *Ko si bi obinrin yen se le ma gba adura agbatodo,* there is no how strong that woman will be or the husband will be. No. That's why the Bible says, "Woe to him that is alone." But you know, ordinarily, when a man has not married, there's nothing wrong with his aloneness. I hope you know. There's nothing wrong. But once a man becomes married, there is something wrong with his aloneness. Everything is wrong with it. Now, the third point I gave you there is that it is the test of spirituality. Am I correct? Is that the third point? Look at Timothy. Look at 1 Timothy 3. I believe we are familiar with that Scripture. He said if a man wants to be what? 1 Timothy chapter 3. It's a popular Scripture. If a man wants to be a bishop, he must be what? He must be husband of one wife. Then he listed several other things. And lastly, he said if a man cannot manage his house, how can he do what? How can he manage the church of God? We are talking about the altar. You know what he's saying? Now, all of us here, we are one family in the church. Is that not? If people say, "Redeemed Church Oke-Ogdan, we want to see you at headquarters, Lagos," what is going to go there? The building or the people? The people. So, when you say the church, we are talking about who? The people. Now, do you notice that all of those people, what you call the church, the church is just a collection of many families. Is that not? Is that not? You know what God is saying? I believe you are seeing what God is saying. What God is saying is that if a man is not faithful with managing one family, he cannot be faithful over many. If a man—because what you call the church is the gathering of several families. There is this sister and this brother who are married. They could not come up with a fervent fire. They could not build a strong altar in their home. Whether because of the carelessness of the brother or because of the stubbornness of the sister, for whatever reason, how do you bring such a brother to come and build the altar of many families? He that is faithful in one—he that is faithful in little—will be faithful in much. He that is unfaithful in little can never be trusted in much. That is why God said, if a man cannot manage his home, how can he come to manage the church of God? *Abinibi sister kan ko le manage.* We gave him three or four boys, he could not build a strong altar with that one. You now want to bring him over several sisters, several husbands, several people to come and build—which altar does he want to build? So, what you see, the altar at home, the fire on that altar—if a man can manage that well, when a sister can do that and there's such fervency at home, it is such people that God truly needs to come and manage the church. So, it means for us to know that somebody is truly spiritual enough to lead other people, where should we go to? The family altar. We should go to the family altar. If the one at home is not strong, don't trust that person. He can't build anything with the church. The true test of a man's spirituality is the family altar. That's where you test whether a man is spiritual. If you want to know if a sister is spiritual, go and check how much is the altar she has built with her husband. It's not the jumping around, "Yes, sisters, let us pray in the name of..." God is not bamboozled with all those things. He can't carry God away. Go and check the one—where we made her help. We say, "This life, help us to help him to get to heaven." She was useless. The one that will now make secondary assignment, can she ever be faithful? If a man is not faithful over what is fundamental, can he be faithful over what is secondary? He cannot. You see, one mistake that we are making today as believers—do you know one mistake that we are making as Christians? It is that we think people are spiritual because of their spiritual gifts. But we must always recognize this. Let me give you a good example. My sister, if I dash you one million Naira, does that make you a millionaire? Somebody see you with one million, say, "Ah, this sister, in fact, she's really hardworking, she's a millionaire." No. The million is just a gift. It tells nothing about her. You see, our charismatic ability, they are just gifts of the Holy Ghost. They don't say anything about our spirituality. They don't. But you know what mistake we make? If somebody comes to church and he says, "In the name of Jesus, receive your sight," and the person receives his sight, or somebody begin to prophesy, we say, "Ah, that brother is spiritual." That is just a gift of healing. It does not tell you anything about his spiritual bearing. A brother can be doing that and still be fornicating. A brother can be doing that and still be keeping malice. That's why you wonder, "Heh, this brother is the pastor, yet he's sleeping with the choir director." You don't understand. Many times we place people over the church based on their gift, not on their life. And that is why the church is having lots of problems today. I was in one assembly like that, an assembly like that where the person who was the leader was busy turning around the property of the organization. He was busy turning it around for personal property. Another Judas. So, am I very clear about that? So, if you really want to know if a brother is spiritual, if you want to know if a sister is spiritual, what should you go and check? The kind of fire on their altar at home. That shows how much you are spiritual. It shows how much you are walking with God. And lastly, what's the last thing there? What's the last point? Yes, it is the fundamental bearing for the children. One common mistake today is that people don't realize that what God said is that, "Teach your child in the way he should go, when he is grown, he will not depart." As far as God is concerned, the fundamental place where children receive spiritual bearing is the home. It is not the church. The fundamental place where children receive spiritual—*awon eyan kan so pe*—put them in Christian school. I'm not against Christian school. I work in a school where we do a lot of discipleship work. But fundamentally, where God wants to raise godly children is in the home. It is not in the church. Godliness of children should not be traced to the church or to the school. It should be traced to the parent. It is about the home. So, when the family altar is strong, it becomes a place where children receive what? Their own spiritual bearing. It is a place. What proves that? You will see that in Malachi. He said, "Why did he make them one?" He said, "Because he seeks godly seed." Have you read that Scripture before? Malachi 2:15. I believe that Scripture is a very popular one. Malachi 2:15. He said, "Why did he make them—why did he make them one?" He said, "Because he seeks godly seed." Why did God make—make people into marriages? Why is God making people into marriage? Please check, check that Malachi 2:14 or 15. Let somebody read from between 14, 15, 16. You see why did he make them one. He said because he seeks godly seed. [Speaker 3] "Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth." [Speaker 1] Do you get it? Why did God make them one? Why did he make them one? He wants godly seed. So, the altar is so crucial. The altar is so crucial. It's so crucial, that altar in the home. That place is so crucial for the children. Lastly, I want to look at about four important steps to reviving the altar. Four important steps to reviving the altar. Four important steps. If we want our altar to be strong, if we want it to be strong, the first one is recognizing this: we must not place the gift above the giver. We must not place the gift above the giver. What that is talking about is about blessings. It's about blessings. Don't place the gift above the giver. Because it is something that injures God. One practical step you must take in your life: anything God gives must not be placed above God. It is something that injures God. God is a jealous God. God is a jealous God and God always wants to note that you don't place the gift—I give you a good example. When God noticed that Abraham was pressing too much attention on Isaac, what did God do? What did God do? God said, "Abraham, take your only son Isaac whom you love, go and kill him for me." Was God interested in the death of that boy? No. What did God want to see? Whether Abraham preferred God to Isaac. So, when God noticed that you have begun to love your job above your consecration, you begun to love your job above your spiritual life, you begun to place it above—it injures God. You must not place the gift above the giver. It's so crucial in our life. Don't place the gift above the giver. It's so important to note that. So, practically always consider that, look, no, there's nothing God gives that I can place above God. There must be a time in this family that we must meet with God. So, the implication therefore is that if, for example, we have to work separately—you know it do happen, especially in today's world, we have to work separately—maybe somebody has to work, like the example of my brother who has to work in Osogbo and the wife has to be in Ondo State. What do we do? Then we must still recognize that time of prayer. While he is over there and I'm over here, we recognize that we want to know, this time is praying and praying. If it is 8 o'clock we want to set, okay every 8 o'clock, even though I'm there and you are here, let's lift up our voice to God. You can decide—you can decide—to even make it telephone time of prayer. It can be 15 or 20 minutes. If people can spend 20 minutes to chat with people, what is wrong about that to build our altar? What is wrong? There's nothing wrong with it. Create that time of consecration that wherever you are, we must still observe this time together. A time to pray, a time to intercede, a time—it's so crucial. It's so crucial we must not place the—it's so crucial not to place the gift above the giver. The second one is you know, is come out of the tree (T-R-E-E) mentality. Tree mentality. If you look at Isaiah, that should be—let me check my text quickly—Isaiah 40. Isaiah 40 verse 6. Let somebody read that for us. Isaiah 40 verse 6. [Speaker 3] "The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field." [Speaker 1] Thank you, sir. What did the Bible say? All flesh is what? Grass. All the glory of the flesh is like what? Flower. Please, sir, how strong is flower? How strong is it? So strong that a baby can pull it. A baby can pull it. How strong is grass? Grass, how strong is it? The Bible says all flesh is what? Grass. All the glory of the flesh is as what? Flower. You see, we must do something about ourselves. Let us come out of the tree (T-R-E-E) mentality. There is no flesh that is tree. All flesh is grass. That is, they are weak, they are vulnerable, they are collapsible. You see, I want to be able to see my wife as weak and vulnerable. The husband must be able to see the wife, the wife must be able to see the husband similarly. You see, many times we have overhigh expectations of ourselves and that is why we run into serious trouble at home. We don't understand that I am weak. My wife too is what? Weak. We are weak, we are weak creatures. We need ourselves. We can offend ourselves because we are weak, we are vulnerable. Let me give you this very interesting thing that happened one day in one office. A sister was coming from home, she took a bike. The bike had problem before she got to the office. So, she alighted from the bike and gave the man the full money expecting change. But instead of giving her change, the man did not give her any change. The man was set to go with the change. She said, "Ah, Okada, you want to give me some thing that we have not gotten to the agreed place?" The man just look at her, look at her and hissed. He said, "What, what, what? Can't you work the remaining? Have you not—you can't even pity me?" The Okada has some story talking of his change. "Get away from yourself as a selfish person." The Okada man was walking away to go and look for-find commission. The sister felt so bad. She wished she never gave the full money. She wished she gave—so under that situation, she entered the office still nursing the pain from that Okada man. As she entered, a staff, female staff, greeted her. But because she was preoccupied, she didn't hear. She just went straight to her-and sat there and was still grooming over the pain of, "Ah, ah, I wish." Then after some time she came, you know, the emotion, everything came down. So, she now came back to that sister who greeted. I said, "Heh, sister kini," that one just looked at her and just hissed. Ah, she was wondering what happened. "Sister, *se kosi?*" "Of nothing." That sister, she is a staff holding a first degree. That other sister, who had problem with the Okada, is doing her Ph.D. So, the sister felt she ignored her because of ordinary Ph.D. that she's doing. "What's wrong with her? If not because God, I didn't have the opportunity like you." She was nursing the pain that the sister did not greet. I'm showing you how weak man is. How we can misinterpret, misrepresent, are you understanding me? So many times, do you know that is what we do at home? The wife will misinterpret, misrepresent the husband. The husband will think that, "Yes, I know why you did that. You think I don't know," whereas he has limited information about what actually happened. And he will be talking so confidently, "Look, I'm the head in this house, I can..." Look, you are grass. Your glory is flower. Learn to take it easy on yourself. Learn to be patient with yourself so that your altar can be strong. Learn to be patient and avoid the tree mentality. Deliberately do away with the tree mentality. Deliberately do away with it. The third thing I have here in building a strong altar, in building a strong altar is accept your situation and that of your spouse that you are two imperfect creations. Accept your situation and that of your spouse that you are two imperfect creations. You know what that means? *Se kosi okunrin to pe, o k'obirin to pe.* Am I very clear? You must learn to accept. See, as far as your husband is concerned, there will be some things to enjoy in your husband and some things to endure in your husband. The same thing with your wife. There will be some things you will enjoy about her, but there will be some things that you will not like. "Heh, she did this, she did that." Look, accept that both of you are imperfect. The reason is—you know what that will bring into your family? It will bring the spirit of forgiveness. What makes most family altar to die is unforgiveness. Accept that both of you are imperfect. Both of you are imperfect. See, she is bound to offend you, and you are bound to offend him. It's a thing you must accept. I remember this very, very funny incident. You will say, "Ah, this brother is a powerful preacher." But I want to show you one very, very funny incident about me and my wife. My wife called me, I was somewhere around, not far from home, but in town. And she said, "Heh, SG, please make sure, please, you buy bread. We want to use this for dinner." I said, "Okay." After some 15, 20 minutes, she called again. "Where are you now?" I said, "I've left the place, I'm driving towards home." "Please don't forget the bread." I said, "Okay." When I got to around the junction to our house, not too far from our house, she called again. "The bread with us..." I said, "No problem, I'm coming with the bread." Do you know I still forgot? So, I forgot. When I entered the house, "Heh, the bread." I said, "Ah, bread." Do you think that woman will be laughing? Would that woman say, "Ah, nice husband, good"? How will she feel? The reason why she was calling me over and over again is because she knows I easily forget things. It's a thing she has come to accept. That's why she was trying to help me. But you know, that is—you will say I'm a great preacher, but you could see that in some areas... do you get what I'm saying? We are not—you have, everybody has some limitations. So, you may have a wife that may tend to talk too much. Some matter, "Heh, ma worried, o ti to," she will still be talking, she will still be talking, she will still be talking. Before you know, "Look, don't talk again!" No, you don't need all those—you already know she talks. Learn to endure your wife. You know she talks, so when she talks, sometimes try to turn it into song. *Iyawo mi tun ti bere o, mummy tun ti de o.* You know, make it a song instead of making your family heated up. "You are talking too much! Why are you talking to me like that?" You don't need all those—you already know she talks. You see, let us learn to understand that the two people that married themselves, they are not perfect creations. If you don't do that, your family altar will die. Because once you are bearing grudges, by the time you are singing, "Praising the Lord," you'll be just singing inside, "Eda oloriburuku yi, stupid man." "Praising the Lord." And God is seeing everything. "Useless man." By the time the person is preaching again, "You see, God wants us to love ourselves..." "Tio ba se ninu ile ana, o lo love mi." You see, the family altar is dying. We must learn to understand that we are two imperfect creations that can always offend ourselves. And so when offenses come, we should be quick to forgive and move on. Or else the family altar will die. What has killed—I was in one family, we talked family like that—the husband said, "The day I stopped praying with her, was the day she was trying to prove that she's the man in this house. And I want to show her that I can do without her." For over almost six months, they stop having family devotion. You see, it's not correct. We are two—see, let me tell you one thing that changed me eternally about dealing with people. That day I wanted to go and post a letter. So, I went to the post office. But I had to also do some other small, small things. In the midst of doing all those small, small things during there, I forgot the letter that I wanted to post. *Letter ti mo fi kuro nile, letter for which I left the house.* When I got back home, I now saw it. I said, "Heh, oh Jesus, I didn't post this letter!" The Holy Ghost just caught me. He said, "Wale, if you had sent somebody and the person didn't post this letter, what will you say?" I could not answer because I know the answer. He now said—a Yoruba adage just came to me—*oju oloju ko da bi oju eni*, is that not? That he will say if it was you that went, it wouldn't be like this, it's because you sent somebody. He now said, he just caught me that day. I'm talking something that happened about 15 or 20 years ago. He said, "Wale, if you can disappoint yourself, why do you get infuriated when people disappoint you?" *Kilo ma n se?* When people disappoint you, you start chatting, you start jumping, but see, you are disappointing yourself. Do you know from that day and you know, it becomes easy to bear with people. Because any time—and sometimes the Lord will just call me. He said, "Wale, look at yourself. Are there things about yourself that you don't like about yourself? God, I wish God will change it." Am I correct? I'm correct. So, if you have something about yourself that you don't like, that you are wishing that God would change, then why is it—why does it become so difficult to bear with your wife or husband about what you don't like about her? Even if you about yourself have things you don't like that you are wanting God to change. I want to beg us. Let us always understand that marriage involves two imperfect people that must learn to always forgive themselves. Or else your family altar will die. Your family altar will die. It will die. I pray our family altar will not die. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] May our children see us living as Christians at home. When the children see how Mommy forgives Daddy, and Daddy forgives Mommy, the children learn forgiveness. They learn to see, they can see. They know when you bear grudges. I hope you know. They know when you are keeping malice. Husband will not greet, the wife will greet, "Mm-hmm, ehun-ahun," short wave. "Where are you going?" "School." When you come back, "Are you back?" "Yes." "How was the day?" "Fine." Short wave. The children know that you are keeping malice. They know, and it's not helping them. Please, Jesus said in John 17, he said, "I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified." Until we sanctify ourselves, our children may not be sanctified. Please, let's sanctify ourselves for the sake of our children. The fourth step: deliberately seek God and take an-and step out of the great mistake couples make today. Deliberately seek God. That's the fourth practical step. Deliberately seek God. Deliberately seek God and step out of the great mistake of couples today. Deliberately seek God. What does that mean to seek God? You will see that in Matthew 19 from verse 3, you read downward. I'll just be making allusion to them. I'm trying to save time. In Matthew 19, the Pharisees came to Jesus and they said, "Can a man put away his wife for any reason?" And he said, "Have ye not read, that he which made them from the beginning made them male and female, and then said, 'For this cause a man shall leave father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.' So what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." When I say deliberately seek God, you know what I'm saying you should see? That he who made them from the beginning made them male and female. He who made them at the beginning made them male and female. And said for this cause, because of this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to—not a wife—his, because he made them male and female. A man leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. That is why we must teach our children to learn to work with God and to hear God. If our children cannot hear God, they may marry, but not to their wife or to their husband. Because you children that are here, a little grown up, you realize that when God brought Eve to Adam, Adam was asleep when God was making Eve. But when Adam saw Eve, he said, "This is now..." was there any boyfriend/girlfriend thing? You don't need boyfriend/girlfriend thing to know who to marry, you need divine revelation. You say, "If I don't befriend, how will I know my husband?" You don't need that. There was no befriending between Adam and Eve. But Adam, there was nobody in that garden, but Adam said, "This, she was taken out of me." How did he know? Because he was walking with God. So most of you that are single, that are growing older, please learn to walk with God. But we are saying something about the marriage. He said he that made them at the beginning made them male and female. It's a pair. He made them male and female. [clapping sounds] He made them male and female. And said for this cause, a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to who? His wife. Let me show you what divorce is. If this leg is not doing well, and I now remove this and I put this [Speaker 1 presumably gestures to a mismatch]. If I come into the fellowship and I'm wearing this and this, will you call me a normal person? This is divorce. A divorced person is like this. He's a confused and mad person. He who made them at the beginning made them male and female. It's a pair. And said for this cause, a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his, his wife. So that the point I'm making is this: you must see God. If there is a problem with this leg, if there's a little problem, and I said, "Whoa, look, this one is useless," this one too becomes useless. Whatsoever made the wife to be useless, made the man to be nonsense. Because you can't wear one. You can't wear one. So, he who made them—it's a thing you must see. I tell people, I wake up every morning to bless my wife. Every night before she sleeps, I bless my wife. It's so crucial that your altar is strong. Because he who made them—it's a thing you must see. Don't look at society. See God. He who made them. I tell people, everything about marriage is about God. It's not about society. I was speaking with young people one day in the school, and I told them, "Let us be philosophical." I'm a philosopher. I said, "Let's go the way of philosophy and let's be practical with philosophy. As far as you shall see philosophically, who has the final say over an invention?" They said, "The inventor." I said, "Are you sure?" They said, "Yes." I said, "If Bill Gates said something about Microsoft and somebody said, 'No, forget Bill Gates,' who will we really listen to?" "Ah," they said, "we should listen to Bill Gates because he invented Microsoft." I said, "Okay, come to think of it. Everything about sex—the penis, the vagina, the hormonal draw, everything, the breast, the shape of the woman, the emotional connection between male and female—who made them all?" They were quiet. They said, "God." I said, "So, who is the god of sex?" They were quiet. Nobody knows about sex more than God. God is the god of sex. So if you want to talk about sex outside God, you are a fool. And the whole class was quiet. Because he invented it! And that is why when God says that, look, "Flee fornication." God is the one who invented sex. If God said premarital sex is wrong, then it is wrong. And do you know why it is wrong is that—note that word: "A man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife." Young people, listen to me very well. "And be joined to his wife." Go back to Corinthians chapter 5 and 6. He said, "He that is joined to an harlot is one body with her." For two, he says, shall become one. "He that is joined to an harlot is one body with her." He said, "Therefore, flee fornication, for every other sin a man committeth is outside the body." You know what happens? Every sex is marriage. Bible says, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled." Marriage takes place on the bed. Every sexual relationship is marriage. The reason why we must not go to premarital sex is that every time a penis and a vagina meet, it's marriage. So what happens is that several young people would have joined themselves to several people before they come to the junction of marriage. So when they get there, they are already monsters. You will see the boy standing like this, but he has several bodies because he has slept with Funke, slept with Bose, slept with this, slept with that. So he's a monster already. And you will see the lady too, standing for—I'm a bride. She's not a bride, she's a monster. She has several heads. She has slept with several people because everybody you sleep with, you are joined to them. And the worst of all, you are joined to everybody that person has ever slept with. That's why the Bible says, "Flee fornication." It's a serious thing. We can-we can meet with our youth and we'll talk. But you must flee fornication because the matter is, a man joined himself to his wife. So the point is, it is important for those of us who are married to understand that we must see God. This person is not just a woman, she is my pair. He made them male and female. Nobody can replace—do you know that nobody can—you can't throw away one leg and put another leg? Because things are made in pairs. So if the pair is—if one leg is having problem, you try to manage it. You try to do some work on it. Because once you throw away one leg, the other leg is useless. And so for that reason, it becomes important for us to be able to do what? To build our altar. To build our altar. You know, I said you must be able to see God and avoid the common mistakes couples make. What is the common mistake couples make? Common mistake couples make today is that instead of seeing this their oneness, God said, "Husband, love your wife," abey? "As Christ loved the church." Is that not? "And wife, submit to your husband." I want to ask you, is it the wife that tells the husband should love her? Is it the husband that says the wife should submit to her? So when I get into marriage, what is my business if my wife don't submit to me? Am I the one that asks her to submit to me? What's my business with that? What is my own business when I get into marriage? To keep loving my wife. What is my wife's business? To keep submitting. She submits whether I love her or not, and I love her whether she submits or not. But you know the mistake couples make today? When they get into marriage, the husband will be watching the wife, "You are not submitting, abey?" The wife will be watching the husband, "You are not loving, abey?" Are you the one that asked her—asked him to love? Or are you the one that asked her to submit? If she does not submit, leave her to God. You, do your own role. But most people in their marriage are spiritual police instead of a husband or a wife. That's the common mistake. And this thing is destroying our altar today. Deliberately step out of that mistake. Don't begin to watch for your wife whether she submits or not. You, keep loving as Christ loved. The wife, stop watching your husband whether he loves or not. You, keep submitting. You will be surprised how strong your altar will be. Once we look away from ourselves and we look at God, God becomes the uniting factor. But once we begin to look at ourselves, what will happen? We become divergent elements. God is the uniting factor. So please, take this practical step, and I believe it will be well, it will be well with you. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. I believe I've been able to tell us something before we go. Let's have a word of prayer. Let's have a word of prayer. Children, please don't forget, run away from boyfriending and girlfriending. It's not meant for you. Rather, grow in grace and in the Lord. Husband and wife that are here, start talking about your altar. Your altar. We have seen why we must build it to be strong. And as we pray tonight, I want to call your attention to the Psalms of David, the 133rd Psalm. It says, "Behold, how pleasant, how good it is for brothers to dwell together in unity. It shall be like the oil... they are not—you know, they are not thin when they descend from Aaron's beard down to his garments." He says, "For there God commands his blessing, even life forevermore." When we-when we endeavor to keep our altar to be strong in our home, God will be commanding that. He says, "There God commands his blessing, even life." I want you to pray for your own marriage. My-my home will be a place of life, where life is commanded. He says, "There God commands his blessing, even life." Lord, help me. Lord, help me. Lord, protect me. If there are offenses, if there are bitterness, please set them aside. Let's create a channel where the talking of forgiveness—join yourself together again, strengthen your altar. Build your altar. Don't let blessing take your altar from you. Don't let offense take your altar from you. Don't let greed take your altar from you. Don't let ungodliness take it from you. Don't let blindness take it away from you. He who made them, made them male and female. He who made them, made them male and female. That is your pair. He made them male and female. Look at—again—at your husband or your wife. Nobody can replace her. He made them male and female. That sister you are looking at, that's better than her, is not better than her. It's not better. He made them male and female. It's a pair. No matter how fine, no matter how shoe is, it cannot be the pair of another shoe. It cannot be the pair. Look at your own pair and say, "God, help me to build a strong altar. Help us to build a strong altar. Bring forgiveness between us." We spend where or pain this evening. Why not release your wife? Why not release your husband? Why not release the person tonight? Why not release? Maybe there's something you have packed up and packed up, you have packed something up in your mind. Why not release it tonight? And say, "God, we want to go home and build a strong altar." Maybe there is something you are holding against him. He talks too much. He always forgets. He just—he will not just remember my birthday. Why not release? You can disappoint yourself. Don't be infuriated when you are disappointed by people. Look at that and walk and—and take imagination of your mind. Our Father, we thank you for this evening. Our God, we bless your name. Thank you, everlasting Father. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Omnipotent God, we thank you for this evening. Lord, we commit ourselves into your hands. We pray that Lord—Lord, may the fire on our altar, God Almighty, experience a quickening tonight. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] In the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Lord, everything that has served as obstacle, that has killed the fire—bitterness, grief, pain, unforgiveness, misrepresentation, lack of proper communication, distance, blessing, whatever—Lord tonight, tonight, tonight we are praying. Lift up your heads, O ye gate, and be ye lifted up, ye everlasting door. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] In the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Every gate that has stood in opposition to the altar of our life, the altar of the family, we speak concerning the gate. O God, let them be dried up! [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Let them be broken! [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] In the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Lord our God, we pray everywhere there is blindness, where we cannot see that he made them male and female. There is no replacement for that person. There is nothing can—nobody that looks exactly like her can be her. It's either her or it is not. It's either him or it is not. O Lord, help our heart again to reconnect. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Let there be a reconnection! [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] A reconnecting! [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] In the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] And I will pray for our children. Lord our God, may they not become polluted before the junction of marriage. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] In the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Lord our God, the Bible says where there is no vision, the people perish. Lord, grant our—our daughters and our sons, grant them vision. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Vision that will preserve them in holiness and righteousness. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] In the name of Jesus Christ. [Audience] Amen. [Speaker 1] Thank you, eternal Father. We bless your holy name. In Jesus' name we have prayed. [Audience] Amen. Praise the Lord!