Mr and Mrs Nabal

[Intro Music] Trusting your fellowship cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God will always desire a godly home. These are words of reformation and instruction in righteousness on Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. We give all the praise, all the honor, adoration to our God again for another time in His presence. The second Saturday of the month of March, the 14th day of March. We thank our God for the privilege to be here. We thank Him for life. We thank Him for His mercy. We thank Him for His love. And as we commence our program again this morning, Marriage Forum, a program for mature singles, about to wed, those who are already married, and anybody who hopes one day to be settled down in marriage. It is a program open to all of them. And so, as we begin again this morning, I trust the Lord that it will be a blessed time in His presence. Let us have this word of prayer and then we commence. Everlasting Father, we are grateful unto You. We thank You for Your mercy. We thank You for Your love. We thank You for preservation. We thank You for keeping us till today. We adore Your holy name. We say, Father, be exalted in the name of Jesus Christ. Everlasting Father, unto You we gather this morning, we who are here physically, our brethren who are connecting with us on Telegram, our brethren who are connecting with us on Mixlr. Lord our God, and everybody that this program will eventually get to, or those that will eventually come to listen to it, Lord we pray, let Your word find a place in us in the name of Jesus Christ. Your word will find a place to stay and Your word will transform us in the name of Jesus. Thank You, Everlasting Father. Blessed be Your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Last month, February Marriage Forum, we considered loving your spouse, particularly during displeasures and conflict. And our emphasis, our major emphasis in that edition was that we must be careful not to think that marriage runs on affection. Yes, there is affection in marriage, there is emotion in marriage. But affection, emotion, they are not stable. They are like plants that need the right environment to grow and then the wrong environment, they die. Because they need an environment. What creates that environment for them is love. Love is not emotion. Love is not a feeling. Love is not an affection. Love is a decision. Love is a resolution. Love is a will. Love is a deliberateness. You are deliberate, you are intentional about what you are doing regardless of how you are feeling. That was our major emphasis last month. And I trust the Lord that the blessing of that program will remain with us in the name of Jesus. Today we are coming again with another interesting episode in our Marriage Forum. We want to look at a marriage. And like I often tell people, 1 Corinthians 10:6 and then chapter 10:11. In 1 Corinthians 10:6—not 10:10 please—1 Corinthians 10:6 and 10:11. "Now these things became our examples to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted." So, all that happened to the fathers, they are examples for us. And in 10:11, it says, "Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come." So, when we look at incidents in the Bible, I have often told people, don't just look at them as mere stories. Look at them as things written down by the Holy Spirit for your admonition, for your warning, for your instruction, for instruction, for correction, for rebuke in righteousness, so that we can be thoroughly furnished, we can be complete. Our lives will not be lacking anything. And that is why oftentimes under this ministry, we look at different biblical examples to learn from them. And today we are coming with an example of a marriage in the Bible: the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. For some of us who are not very familiar with the Bible, you will be wondering where that Mr. and Mrs. Nabal, where they are in the Bible. Those of us who are familiar with the Bible, you know where we are picking it from: 1 Samuel 25. Nabal is the husband of the popular Abigail that we know, the Abigail that confronted David with wisdom and humility and was able to save her marriage. So, the husband of Abigail was Nabal. Nabal is from the tribe of Caleb. And that is the marriage we want to look at. That is where we got Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. And I pray that as we consider the episode of this family, may our lives receive divine instruction and may our marriages be enriched in the name of Jesus Christ. Let us go to the story, 1 Samuel 25 from verse 1. That is where we have the story of Nabal and Abigail. [Speaker 2] 1 Samuel 25 from verse 1. Then Samuel died, and the Israelites gathered together and lamented for him and buried him at his home in Ramah. And David arose and went down to the wilderness of Paran. Now, there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats, and he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. The name of the man was Nabal, the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance, but her husband was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb. When David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep, David sent ten young men. [Speaker 3] And David said to the young men, "Go up to Carmel, go to Nabal and greet him in my name. And thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity: 'Peace be to you, peace to your household, and peace to all that you have! Now I have heard that you have shearers. Your shepherds were with us, and we did not hurt them, nor was there anything missing from them all the while they were in Carmel. Ask your young men and they will tell you. Therefore, let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David.'" [Speaker 2] So, when David's young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all the words in the name of David and waited. Then Nabal answered David's servants and said: [Speaker 4] "Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Should I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?" [Speaker 2] So, David's young men turned on their heel and went back, and they came and told him all these words. Then David said to his men: [Speaker 3] "Every man gird on his sword!" [Speaker 2] So, every man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword. And about four hundred men went up with David, and two hundred stayed with the supplies. Now, one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying: [Speaker 6] "Look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, and he reviled them. But the men were good to us and we were not hurt, nor did we miss anything as long as we accompanied them when we were in the field. They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the time we were with them keeping the sheep. Now, therefore, know and consider what you will do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his household, for he is such a scoundrel that no one can even talk to him." [Speaker 2] Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep already dressed, five seahs of roasted grain, one hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs and loaded them on donkeys. And she said to her servants: [Speaker 5] "Go on before me. See, I am coming after you." [Speaker 2] But she did not tell her husband Nabal. So, it was as she rode on the donkey that she went down under cover of the hill, and there were David and his men coming down toward her and she met them. Now, David had said, "Surely in vain have I protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belongs to him. And he has repaid me evil for good. May God do so, and even more also, to the enemies of David if I leave one male of all who belong to him by morning light." Now, when Abigail saw David, she dismounted quickly from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed down to the ground. And she fell at his feet and said: [Speaker 5] "On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity be! And please let your maidservant speak in your ears and hear the words of your maidservant. Please let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name and folly is with him. But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. Now, therefore, my lord, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, since the Lord has held you back from coming to bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek harm for my lord be as Nabal. And now this present which your maidservant has brought to my lord, let it be given to the young men who follow my lord. Please forgive the trespass of your maidservant, for the Lord will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the Lord and evil is not found in you throughout your days. Yet a man has risen to pursue you and seek your life, but the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the Lord your God, and the lives of your enemies He shall sling out as from the pocket of a sling. And it shall come to pass when the Lord has done for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you and has appointed you ruler over Israel, that this will be no grief to you nor offense of heart to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause or that my lord has avenged himself. But when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then remember your maidservant." [Speaker 2] Then David said to Abigail: [Speaker 3] "Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you, because you have kept me this day from coming to shed blood and from avenging myself with my own hand. For indeed, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has kept me back from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning light no male would have been left to Nabal." [Speaker 2] So, David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, "Go in peace to your house. See, I have heeded your voice and respected your person." Now, Abigail went to Nabal, and there he was, holding a feast in his house like the feast of a king. And Nabal's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk. Therefore, she told him nothing, little or much, until morning light. So, it was in the morning when the wine had gone from Nabal and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him and he became like a stone. Then it happened, after about ten days, that the Lord struck Nabal and he died. So, when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, "Blessed be the Lord, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal and has kept His servant from evil! For the Lord has returned the wickedness of Nabal on his own head." And David sent and proposed to Abigail to take her as his wife. When the servants of David had come to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her saying, "David sent us to you to ask you to become his wife." Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth, and said, "Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord." So, Abigail rose in haste and rode on a donkey attended by five of her maidens, and she followed the messengers of David and became David's wife. [Speaker 1] That is the story, verse 1 to verse 42. A very long reading, but it was worth the reading. I wanted us to see this family, what the Bible records. And I believe that as you were reading through, you are picking some lessons. You are learning one or two things from what we were reading. We are looking at the story of Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. First, it is interesting to note some things about Nabal. Like I said while I was reading, the name Nabal means folly or foolish. And I'm just wondering how the man got his name, whether it was that people named him according to his behavior. I don't think that might be the name from the parents, I don't know. I don't want to go into all those exegesis, all those theology, but we know that his name was Nabal. And then we also have in the story that he was from the tribe of Caleb. And that just simply tells me that it is very, very important, those of us who look at family line to take husband or wife. Of course, that is not necessarily bad in itself, but it is also very good to also note that somebody may come from a good family but may be a bad person. Nabal is from the line of Caleb. I believe you remember Caleb. Caleb and Joshua, those were mighty men, men who had serious walk with God. Men that after God decided that the ten other men would die who brought report to Moses, it was Caleb and Joshua that God said they had a different spirit, that they followed Him wholeheartedly. And God also made sure that by divine providence, the strength of Caleb was not abated. The way he was at 40, that was how he was at 80. It was at 40 that they went to spy the land. And it was at 40 that God said that each day—they spied the land for forty days—God said each day will become forty years, a day for a year. So, forty days became forty years. That for forty years the Israelites would wander in the wilderness until the evil generation who doubted God's ability to give them the land, until they would all die. After all of them had died, the people would now march forward to the Promised Land. So, Caleb was with them when he was 40. When he was 80, the Bible says as he was at 40, that was how he was at 80. That is supernatural. God can grant anybody divine preservation and health, such that as you are at 50, you can be so at 100. As you are at 25, you can be so at 75. It is what God can do. It is something I believe God for for my own life, that at 100 I will be as the way I am at 50. It was the same thing that happened with Moses. Moses, the Bible says at 120, his natural force was not abated and his eye was not grown dim. These are things that God can do. I trust the Lord for this kind of miracle and I believe God for this miracle and I am hoping in God that it will be my portion in the name of Jesus Christ. Now, look at what—and I also pray that the same will be your portion. But we must rise in faith. Bible says if any man lacks anything, let him ask God, but let him ask in faith, not doubting. For he who doubts is like the sea that is tossed here and there by the wind. Don't let that man think that he can receive anything from God because he is double-minded. I've been believing God and I've been trusting God that at 100, my strength will be as if I am at 50 and that my eyes will not grow dim. God has done it before, He can do it again. That was Caleb. I'm just talking about family line. That was the line from which this man came. He came from a very, very wonderful line, but he was a foolish man. Look at how his servant describes him. He is such a wicked man, he is such a ill-tempered man, he is such someone that you cannot even have—you cannot walk a conversation with. He said, you know, you cannot even talk with him because he is a wicked man, he is a foolish man. He is not somebody you can easily have good communication with. Yes, he came from the line of Caleb. And that's what I am just trying to draw out of that. Be careful. Bible says do not lean on your own understanding. Don't say because somebody is coming from a good family, the person will be good. Don't rely solely on your understanding when it comes to taking a husband or wife. Don't say because this person comes from a very, very good church, her character or his character will be good. Don't say because somebody is coming from a very, very wonderful discipler, that person's life too will be good. There are people who have the privilege—oh! Rehoboam grew in the palace of wisdom. Solomon was reputed for his wisdom. Yes, Rehoboam, his son, acted foolishly. You can—people can suffer poverty in the midst of abundance. There are lives like that and Nabal was one. May any of us not demonstrate, not exemplify the life of Nabal in the name of Jesus Christ. May we be men who carry on good heritage of the things that God has privileged us to be inside. Let us be men who carry it along. So, he carried folly, even though he was from a good tribe. He carried folly along as an individual and that is what he carried into marriage. That was for Nabal. Then we have the wife, Abigail. And sometimes I begin to ask myself, these two people, how did their path, how did this cross? The Bible talks about Abigail who was reputed for wisdom and understanding, who was reputed for beauty and favor, who was reputed for discretion and discernment. That was Abigail. Abigail was completely the reverse of Nabal in her person and her personality. And I'm wondering how these two people met and were able to marry. I really don't know, we were not told the story. But what I want to bring out of that for us who are going into marriage and for us who are already married, the point I want to bring out is that sometimes to keep marriage going, it's not because the people inside they are actually perfect. It is because somebody inside knows how to act in wisdom. I hope you are getting me. The husband was foolish, but there was a wife that knew how to act in wisdom. It could be the other way, the wife may be foolish and there may be a husband who knows how to act in wisdom. What I'm saying in essence is that sometimes the two people in a marriage may not exemplify, may not represent the same thing so to speak. But if one of them can be very, very correct, the marriage will still last. If one of them can be very, very correct and know how best to play his or her role, then you will be surprised that even where the other partner is not doing well, because there is one person who can do it correctly, because one of the two knows how to act in wisdom, one of the two knows how to act with understanding. I don't know whether that is the situation in your marriage. It looks like your wife is foolish, it looks like your husband lacks understanding, it looks like your wife is not getting it right, it looks like your husband is not doing it well. And you are just wondering, no, this thing will not last, this thing will break. I am telling you that if you know how to act with discretion and discernment, you will still be able to save your marriage. That is what Abigail represented in that marriage. That is what Abigail represented. Capacity to handle foolishness with wisdom. May God grant us capacity in the name of Jesus Christ. Many men lack capacity today, many women lack capacity today in different situations. You will find yourself in difficult situations. It is not the situation that scattered the thing, it is your lack of capacity. It is your lack of capacity. We need capacity to be able to manage situations. We need capacity. Pray God for capacity, capacity of understanding, capacity of discernment, capacity of discretion to be able to manage things. Praise God! Ask the Lord! Trust the Lord! Believe God for it, you will have it. I am not necessarily saying that two people who are unequally yoked should marry. Please don't get me wrong. That is why I said I really don't know how this marriage came about. I really cannot tell how Abigail found herself with this kind of husband. I really don't know the circumstance and the situation that led to these two people in this marriage. But I'm only addressing a situation that can happen in a marriage. I am not saying that people should deliberately believers they now go and marry unbelievers because God will give them capacity to manage the unbeliever. That is not what I am saying. Please don't get me wrong. The counsel of God is clear, the counsel of God is straight. It is a command, it is a stipulation and a regulation. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship does light have with darkness? So, if you are saying in your heart, "I will marry her because I'll be able to convert her, I will marry him because God will give me capacity to manage him," you are acting foolishly. You are acting stupidly. You are acting against the direct counsel and wisdom of God. That is not what I am talking about in any way. But I am talking about different situations that can bring about this. For instance, two unbelievers may marry and along the line, the husband became a believer, or along the line, the wife became a believer, but the husband is still foolish, the husband is still wicked, the husband is still ill-tempered, just like the Bible described Nabal. That is one way it could happen. Another way it could happen could be that yes, two people married, they married as believers. And when they married as believers and they entered into their marriage, the personality of the husband and the personality of the wife, when it comes to the differences that come in our personality, in our background, in our gender, in our upbringing, such kind of difference can lead to a troubling situation. Can lead to situation of conflict, can lead to crisis situation, just because of differences in their background, differences in their upbringing, differences in their personality. It could be a personality difference that is causing serious crisis. So, there could be issues like that. But I'm showing you something that what I'm showing you in Abigail, I'm showing you capacity that many times the real trouble in conflict is not the wickedness in the other person. It's not the foolishness in the other person. It's not the immaturity in the other person. It's not the character flaw in the other person. The real challenge in some marriages is that the spouse have not built capacity. Abigail has capacity. The Bible says—hallelujah—the Bible says she is a woman of good understanding and wisdom. That is capacity. That is capacity. I want you to understand that you need capacity to run your marriage. You need capacity. Wisdom and understanding to manage crisis. Wisdom and understanding to manage differences. Wisdom and understanding to manage your spouse. You need capacity. Some things can be in your husband that you will describe as foolishness. Some things can be in your wife that you will describe as foolishness. Some things can be in your husband that you will describe as wickedness. Some things can be in your wife you will describe as wickedness. It can even be in your children. You need capacity to manage these kind of things. Abigail was able to manage her husband till death. That's the point I'm trying to make you see. It was death that did them part, even though the man was a reverse of the wife. It was death that ended that marriage. Why? Because there is somebody who has capacity. So, I want to make you understand something. Let's look at that story that we read, 1 Samuel 25. When the Bible says about Abigail in verse 3, the Bible says, "The name of the man was Nabal, and his wife's name was Abigail. She was a woman of good understanding and beautiful." She was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance. A woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance. Let me tell you one thing. One thing you will realize if you compare this place with 1 Peter chapter 3. Please let's go there. 1 Peter chapter 3. Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husband, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Let me read that in NIV: "When they see the purity and reverence of your life." NLT: "By watching your pure and godly behavior. Do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on of fine apparel. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." What I am trying to make you see, once a woman has this inner beauty, it is going to reflect outside. Once a woman has this power of inner beauty, there are two ways of adorning oneself. The Bible is making us to see it in Peter. It says, "Do not let your adornment be merely outward arrangement." NLT says, "Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fanciful hairstyles, expensive jewelry and beautiful clothes." NIV: "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and wearing of gold of gold jewelry and fine clothes." So, which means there is a way of externally making ourselves beautiful. There is a way, that's one way of becoming beautiful. But the Bible is saying that don't let your making yourself beautiful come from that one. Don't let it be where your beauty comes from. Let your beauty come from the other one, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, a woman of understanding and wisdom. A woman who has the tenacity to manage difficulties, difficult situation, crisis, conflict, who has the wisdom, knows how to go around this. That is why you notice in 1 Samuel chapter 25 that the Bible first said she was a woman of good understanding before the Bible says and was beautiful. That is why you notice in Proverbs that the Bible says as gold ring in the snout of a pig, so is a beautiful woman without discretion. I hope you know what a pig's snout is. Do you know what a pig's snout is? That is the mouth that they use to dig the ground, that they use to put in dirt and everything. Now, when you put a jewel, a gold jewel in that place, what will happen to that jewel? Will you see the beauty? No. It says so is a woman without discretion. What I'm trying to make you see, no matter how as a woman you are wearing the latest organza, this, fine hair, I put on my earring, I did this, oh, you are looking smart, you are looking this. Once you lack the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, nobody will see all those things that you are putting on. That is why you will see the Yorubas have this saying, they will say "Iwa l'ewa." Literally means character is true beauty. That's what it means actually, that the true beauty, whether in a man or in a woman. A man is not handsome in the same way. You wear your suit and everything, if you lack character, there is no—there is nothing to admire in you. But because the reason why we are looking at this in respect of a woman is because normally it is women who have this "I want to adorn, I want to adorn," it's natural to women. So, that thing, that thing that makes you say "I want to adorn, I want to wear this, I want to cat walk, I want to—ah, when they see me they go take, when they see me they go gba," all those kind of things. The Bible is saying that that thing inside you as a woman, let the drive understand that if you lack this ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, there is actually no beauty in you. Don't let your beauty come from that. That is what we are seeing in Abigail. That is what we are seeing in Abigail. That is what we are noticing about her. That is what we are seeing in her. That is what we are learning in her life. The Bible says she is a woman of good understanding and of course what will follow, she will be beautiful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! May your beauty flow from understanding, good understanding. May the beauty in your life flow from wisdom, flow from good understanding. May the—what people admire in you, may it flow from inside to outside. That is what is true beauty in a woman. It is the same thing for a man. When it flows from that ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. I'm saying so because when you look at the—how did the Bible describe the Lord Jesus? He said, "For I am meek and lowly in heart." Meek and quiet spirit. Mind you, the Bible says husband love your wife as Christ loved the church. A man who does not have the meek and a quiet spirit is not displaying the beauty of Christ in his own. That is the truth. That's why I say it holds for male, it holds for female. That's the reality of it. But why the Bible is talking about like such in the—like gold, like jewel in the snout of a pig, is because naturally it is women that are given to these things. It is women that—so He's saying that, look, that thing in you as a woman, that thing, your cat walking, don't let it be five by six by seven skirt, by two by four and half hairdo. Don't try to generate beauty solely from that point. Understand that there is something, there is a inner beauty you need to generate. That is the one that can actually help your marriage. That is the one that can make you sustain your marriage. That is the one that can help you in your home. That is the one that can help you manage your husband, manage your children, manage your in-laws, manage the home. That is the one you need. That is what we are seeing in Abigail. Mr. and Mrs. Abigail. Anything can be the source of conflict. Anything can be the source of conflict. But if you get women like Abigail, they will manage it well. This man was ill-tempered, this man was wicked, this man was foolish. Even the maid servant cannot even advise him. And you will see the discretion of the wife when she came back and the man was excited because he was full of wine. The woman—you can see a woman who knows the best time to talk and the best time not to talk. I just see some women sometimes, they may just walk in to meet the man at that time. "Look at you, look at you, you are here drinking wine, stupid man! If not for me this afternoon they would have cut off your head, they would have killed everybody!" I just imagine how some women will have done, ah, want to make a show out of that situation. The Bible says when she came into the house, she did not say anything, whether good or evil. She did not even raise the matter with him because she could understand. And that is one thing about wisdom, knowing the best time to talk and the best time not to talk. She knew that was not the best time to talk, it was not the best time to bring in the matter. So, she left him by the morning when he was sober. Are you seeing that? Oh, may God grant us discretion. May God grant us understanding. May God grant us discernment. I am praying this for both husbands and wives. May God grant you. We need this thing. We need it. Don't let me see you as a husband pointing to your wife, "You see, you see, you are not like Abigail. You are not like Abigail. You see you, you are not like Abigail. You see Abigail now? It is you that man is talking about." If that is the way you are listening to me, then you are not a wise man. If that is the way you are listening to this message, you are not a wise man. I want us to see, to learn. These things are written for our learning. A man who has discretion and wisdom can also manage a woman who is also foolish, wicked and ill-tempered. It is the same thing. The problem can be from any side. It is the same thing. So don't be—don't be saying, "It is you that he is talking to." If that is the way you want to look at a message... I normally say something. Once you are listening to a message with the eye of your partner, that message is not meant for you. What—a message that God is sending to you is the one that you are listening to with your own eyes and you are taking for your own life. When you are listening to something and you are saying, "Ehen, thank God, ehen, shey you are hearing now?" You have been—you have been shortchanged. The enemy has taken advantage of you. That's how I see it. Messages should be for you and not through the light of your spouse. No! That's not the way to look at a message. Look at what the Bible is saying and I'm showing us, our sisters, don't be thinking of cat walking. Don't be thinking of "once I put on the latest, when I wear this, that is when I will be fine." That is not when you are fine. That is not when you are beautiful. That beauty is shallow. That beauty is temporal. That beauty is like jewels in the snout of a pig. There is another one, there is one that is sustainable. There is one that lasts. That's why the Bible calls it the unfading beauty. Ah, hallelujah! It is unfading. The other one that you are doing like this, that's how you will see some women, they are 75, they are still trying to dark the hair to be black, they are trying to... that one is so temporal. And I'm telling you, no matter how good a woman may look, once she lacks discretion, by the time you begin to deal with her, what attracted her to you, you will soon begin to beat her, beat her, throw her away and throw her out when she lacks character. So our sisters listening to me, understand the wisdom of God. God takes beauty from inside to outside, not from outside to inside. That's what I'm just trying to make you see. In the world, beauty is outside. Don't go the way of the world. Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man loves the world, love of the Father is not in him. Don't go that way, it's not wisdom. Be transformed by the renewal of your mind that in the Kingdom, beauty is not taken from outside to inside. And if you look at nature, just try to take a orange. The orange, everything is ripe outside. Oh, something similarly happened this morning in our own house. We saw some plantain and all the outside was yellow. And I was telling my wife that, "Oh, this thing they ripe now, you can take of this one." And she took it because externally everything was... by the time she tried to bite it, she just abandoned it. Everything was not ripe inside. It has not gotten inside. So when we look at nature and we look at the things of God, beauty don't come from outside to inside. You cannot eat—when you take a orange and everything is yellow outside, but when you now cut it to drink, everything is green inside, will you be able to take it? No. So, the inside, it is inside to outside. If it does not touch the inside, that seemingly maturity we are seeing outside is not there. That seemingly beauty is fake. It's fake! That's what the Bible is teaching us in Proverbs 11:22. It is the same thing too for a man. All the suit, all the thing you tie... all those things you use to bragadocio yourself. If you don't have this inner beauty, by the time a woman touches your life, she will regret the day she met you. It's the same thing! It's the same thing! That is what we are learning in this marriage, Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. Let us look at this—this—look at this woman who found herself—we didn't know how she got there and that is why I am telling you, don't be saying, "Abigail found herself, let me put myself in it. I'm going to marry an unbeliever, God has shown me one example, my life will save him, my life will save her." That's not what I'm saying. Please don't get me wrong. But you can find yourself in situations like this. That is why you look in that Peter that we read. He said, "Likewise, you husband—you wife—adapt yourself to your own husband so that even when they don't obey the word," are you seeing it? Crisis situation. They didn't submit to the word of God. They're not loving you as God has instructed them. They're going another way. He says you wife, what should you do? With the inner beauty, you can manage the situation. So, you see the Bible referring us in Peter to who? To Abigail. Referring us to Abigail that believers can find themselves in such situation. It could be background situation, it could be personality situation, personality difference, background difference, upbringing difference. It could bring crisis, but the inner beauty can manage it. The inner beauty can carry it. This woman was able to stay with her husband all through to be able to stay with her husband and you will see that the servant could come to her. They know that she is the one that is helping them to manage the situation. When the servant said, "You know our master, we cannot talk to him," he would be able to relate to the... that this man, this is the situation oh. The woman was a cover for the husband. Ah, may you be a good cover for your spouse. May you be a cover, may you be a cover, a cover, a cover. She was the one covering, she was the one making up. And look at how she covered that marriage. Look at how—and let me—let me show you something about covering. Do you know that if that woman had said, "Oh, no ma! It is to him. What concerns me? Whatever happens, let it happen." Please, how many people will be alive? By the time David visits that house, even those servants that are coming to tell the woman, "This is the situation," all of them, will any of them be alive? David said no male would be alive. So David would have wasted and devastated everybody, everyone in that place. And would the woman be able to even have servants to even work with? Would the woman be able to have anything to manage? By the time they devastate that place and scatter everywhere, maybe that woman would not even become a wife. Maybe they would have taken her as captive and taken her along as slave. It won't turn out the way it turned out when God now showed up to bring judgment. I'm coming to that later. So don't be this kind of person that says, "Whatever his character is, whatever his character is, ehen, let it be! He will see!" Don't be that kind of a person. Pray for your spouse. Stand by your spouse. Believe God for them. Trust God for a change. Make deliberate effort. Ask God for wisdom. If you lack it, Bible says, are you—you know, count it all joy when you fall into diverse tribulations and trouble. However, if you lack wisdom, ask God for wisdom. If you lack wisdom in crisis, you may not—you may not manage crisis well. The crisis may swallow you up. He says so ask God for wisdom. If you lack it, ask God. God will give you. Trust God for wisdom to be a cover. Trust God for wisdom to be a shield. Trust God for wisdom. Trust God. And may the Lord release His wisdom upon our marriages, upon our lives, upon our homes, upon our relationship in the name of Jesus Christ. Abigail and Nabal. Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. That is one thing we are seeing in the life of Abigail, how she went through that, how she managed that. Another thing I want us to go to is this man, Nabal. I want us to move to Nabal. And I want you to study something very, very important. I want you to note this. If you are somebody who is ill-tempered, if you are somebody who is wicked, if you are somebody who is a scoundrel—these are the various words that were used—somebody who is harsh, who is cruel, I want you to get something. You will also be a life that will not be able to get good advice. Be careful! Be careful! Before they say one thing you have reacted. "Dear, you—" "Ehen! Why you...?" Before they say two you have said ten. If you are somebody who is like that, I want to tell you, you will not be able to get good advice even when God is bringing it. Let us be careful about being ill-tempered. Particularly when people want to say—the servant would have told their master. They would have told him that, "Hey, see, this man that you sent away, look, what man said it, it's true! In fact, every time we were in the field, he normally protects us." They would have told him. But they know that before they start talking, he would have said twenty. Before they can finish one statement, he will have said, "Oh, oh!" Everybody was just watching. Nobody could—nobody could—nobody could speak to him. So let us be careful with being ill-tempered. Let us be careful with breaking down communication in the name of, "As he wanted to talk, the first statement he made was even annoying to me. I just have to shut him up! I have to shut her up!" You don't allow them to land. You don't even allow them to finish up what they are saying. "Ehen! So you are trying to say... is that what you are trying to say? Is that what you are trying to say? If I'm..." and before you know it, you don't have what... you have mismanaged the situation. Let us be careful about being ill-tempered. Be careful! And as I am—and as I always say, please don't only think this apply only to a male. It also apply to a female. Be careful about being ill-tempered. Be careful about—and that is what the Bible wants us about in the book of James. The Bible says, be slow to anger, be slow to speak, be quick to listen. I'm showing you the wisdom of God. As a—as a man, we are looking at Nabal. Nabal was—the foolishness in Nabal, the wickedness in Nabal, the ill-temperedness in Nabal is being this quick to anger, quick to speak instead of being quick to listen. Let me tell you this truth in case you don't know. If you are a life that is quick to speak, you are a life that is quick to anger instead of being slow to speak and slow to anger, let me tell you your description. Don't let people be deceiving you. You are foolish! You are ill-tempered! You are wicked! You are a Nabal! That is the meaning of Nabal. Don't be a Nabal! Don't say, "You know, in my father's house, that's how most of us were. If you look at my great-grandfather, that was the thing that killed him. My father said, go and ask my mother, that's how my father is in our family." Ah! Then I want to ask you, if any man is in Christ, is he not a new creation? So you want the evil in your family to still flow with your life? Ah! Because you now have something with you to justify your foolishness. Why don't you say the curses for them not to be rich, for them to die at 20 should also go with you? Why don't you also claim that? When will I claim it? I see selfishness in it. I see selfishness in this thing. I've heard people say that, "You see, in my father's house, people die before they marry. In my father's house, they don't graduate. So, if I'm like that, don't deliver me oh, you know, that's my inheritance." Why don't you claim those other evil ones too? Why is it when it comes to what you are using to justify your foolishness that you say, "Look, even my father too is somebody that is known for anger." That's what one husband said when I was trying to discuss with him. It's not—it's not correct to be saying that, "You see, my parents are one way, go and check my mother. Even my mother is like that, even my father is this and that." That's why too I am passing myself. Then why not also claim those other evil ones too? "Like in my—in our generation, nobody, nobody grows beyond 40. So I don't want to marry because I will not grow beyond 40." Why don't you claim those other evil ones too? Let us be careful. I keep—I have come to understand something over and over and over and over and over and over again in life. The seat of conflict is selfishness. What make conflict to tie is selfishness. Self-centeredness, self-interest. And anybody who is like that can never follow Jesus. Jesus said, "If you want to follow Me, the first thing to set aside is let him deny himself." You cannot be a follower of Jesus. Let us watch our life. Let us watch the things we do. Let us watch the things we say. Let us watch our life as husband and as wife. Anybody who is quick to anger, anybody who is quick to speak, anybody who is quick to rush, anybody who is not slow to speak, slow to rush, slow to anger, his description is that the person is a Nabal. Don't justify him! Desire to outgrow it. I believe this man will be justifying himself, that's why he remained like that. I don't know for how long they have been married. He will have some justification. "You know me oh, you know me oh, you know me, I don't take nonsense oh, you know me oh!" And then he sees that as something to—eh, "You know me oh!" That you are disciplined, that you don't take nonsense, is a different thing from being ill-tempered. They are two different things. Being assertive is a different thing from being ill-tempered. You get the point I'm making, they are two different things. Don't—don't mix them up. We must learn to be slow to anger. We must learn to be slow to speak. We must learn to be slow to wrath. The Bible says because the wrath of man can never work the righteousness of God. We must learn it. Don't be a Nabal. As a man, make up your mind, "I will not be a Nabal in my marriage." As a young man who is yet to marry, make up your mind today, "I will not be a Nabal. I will not be foolish, ill-tempered, scoundrel and wicked." How are you like that? When you are quick to anger, when you are quick to speak, when you are quick to wrath, when you are quick to take action. If as a man you are like that, already know your life, already know now that you are a Nabal. Begin to deal with it! Don't justify it! Don't say, "Ehen, any woman should—she should learn to be able to marry me. After all, a wise woman built her house." When I hear people talk like this, I begin to wonder. So is that why men should remain foolish? I'm not saying that a woman should be foolish. What I'm saying is that—it's just like the same way when we were handling a case, a rape case, and some people were saying that, "Ehen, even we need to also know how was the woman properly dressed?" So I began to wonder. So if a woman—if a woman is not properly dressed, that justifies that a man can rape her? Or, you know, I was trying to—I was trying to listen to the—and these—these are things that are said by elders oh. And I was wondering, which—how did they say that for their foolishness? I'm not saying that people should be indecent in their dressing. That's not what I'm saying. I am against indecent dressing. The primary purpose of clothes is first to cover nakedness before it makes us beautiful. If it is the other way around, then we are not Christian. To make us Christian we must be properly covered before we now look at how beautiful it is. In the world, it is how beautiful it is before it covers them. So, we are not like the world. We are not like the world. So I'm not preaching indecency. But to be saying that we need to know how the woman is dressed to know whether we should condemn the man or not, ah, I begin to wonder, do we have proper sense of justice? So are you saying that if a woman is indecent, there's justification for rape? Is that what we are preaching to our sons and daughters that our son—as long as a woman don't dress well, then if you behave like an animal you are justified? Is that what we are teaching our sons? Then it means we are saying that Joseph is stupid for not sleeping with Potiphar's wife. So we must—we must understand proper sense of justice from the point of God. So it's very important, you know, I am not—I am not in any way justifying foolishness in a woman. But if you are trying to say that "a woman should be the home maker, it doesn't matter how the man is, it doesn't matter, a woman is able to make her home, yes, look at Abigail, look at this," then I want to ask you the question: So all our men should be Nabal? Is that what we are therefore saying? Is that what we are preaching? Please, let us learn to—let us learn to understand God's sense of justice. Everything they are written for our learning. Then I will also—if we want to say that men should remain like that, then let us also be praying that every man should be dying away so that women can have better husbands like David. So people should also be justifying that then. Every man should die young so that women can be free to get better husband who will be like David. Is that what we are also saying? So let us—look, let us learn to bring balance. When we are talking, when we are looking at things, don't let us be patriarchal in our thinking. Let us be Godlike in our thinking. I warn you as a man, don't justify ill-temperedness, don't justify being quick to anger, being quick to this in the name of "my wife should know how to manage me." Don't—don't justify that kind of mentality. You are foolish! So don't let us be a Nabal. That's the point I'm making. And in concluding this morning from Mr. and Mrs. Abigail—Mr. and Mrs. Nabal, one very important lesson we must learn, spouses, husband and wife, one important lesson we must learn: whatsoever you sow, you will reap. I want you to be careful. Abigail was having a husband that doesn't care about her feelings, quick to temp—quick to wrath, quick to this, say this, say that, talk anyhow, do anything, act anyway, treat the servant that way. And look at—the Bible says he was a prosperous man. You think to be rich, to be a man, is to suppress, to oppress, nobody can talk to you. That's what you think, that's what it means to be—to be strong in your marriage. And then you have your wife who is trying to cover up and manage the situation. And making sure that the children—the children are not affected. So that that woman is managing the home, making sure things are well, making sure things are balanced, running to save the marriage to make sure that everything—being good this way, being good that way, sowing the correct seed. Don't forget that God is a God of knowledge. By Him all actions are weighed. Please don't forget that God is a God of knowledge. By Him all actions are weighed. It was God that struck Nabal. It was God. It was God that did that. It was God. You will reap what you sow. You will reap what you sow. So that some things that happen in later life and it looks like in a marriage, somebody get it all well against the other person, may not be because one person was trying to be wicked, one person was trying to be bad oh. Abigail got it all good, not because she planned anything against her husband. No! She didn't plan, she didn't wish her husband's death, she protected her home, she did everything, she look—she did not disgrace her husband despite what the husband did. I just wonder what some women would have done at that point. Just go before her, throw away the wine, and say, "Look! Are you mad? Do you know what has just happened just now?" Look at how she respected the man despite the foolishness. She never did anything to embarrass the man in public. She waited—the man have all—all his good for for him. In the morning she now called him, "Ah, this what happened oh! Ah, this what happened, this what happened." The man was shocked. "And you could have—how did you quickly behave like that up to the time?" I don't know what really shocked the man. You know there's a way good can silence the foolishness of—of foolish men. It is in the Bible, 1 Peter chapter 3, go and read it. Go and read it from verse 1. You will see it there. It say by good work we silence the foolishness of ignorant men. Good can silence foolishness oh. The man was shocked! "And you came, you didn't say anything, we still cook, we eat, we slept together peacefully, nothing..." Look at how the woman did everything. At the end of the day, the marriage paid the woman off. She didn't have to continue all her life with that kind of a man. God turned it the other way around. God could have done it some other way. God could have changed Nabal. God could have done it some other way. That's why I said look, the ways of God they are unsearchable, the judgment they are past finding out. Is it not God who changed Nebuchadnezzar from a human being to animal, animal back to human being? God could have also acted the other way, change the heart of Nabal, just like—instead of you know, bringing a strike against his heart that led to his death. God could have done whichever way. But the point I'm just trying to make you see is that whatsoever you are sowing into your partner, you will reap it oh. Don't say because your partner is bad, so you too you will be bad. Whatsoever you are sowing into that marriage, you will reap it! Because when you are breaking faith with your partner, it is not with your partner that you are breaking faith, it is with God. God is the rewarder of everybody's action. God will come back to make sure you reap what you sow into that relationship. God will make sure you reap it. Let us be careful. These are important lessons this morning that we could take from the life of Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. This is how far that we can go today, because it's already 11:30. You see, even 11:35 from my time. It is time for question and answer. There are questions, if there are questions, let us have questions. If there are comments, it is time to take them. If there are comments, brethren online, if you have comments, brethren who are here, comments, questions, if we have let's quickly take them before we close for today. It is time to round up. If there is none, we will round up. If there are, we take them. Comments, questions? Technical, please help us to check if there are things coming to us. Oh, it's like we have none. We have none. Any comment? So we wait, we are giving just about three, four, five minutes there. Quickly if you have. But like I always say, as we are speaking, once things come to your heart, drop it on the page so that by at this time we will not just be harvesting, we will just be relating to questions or comments. So questions or comments, questions or comments if we have. Let's take them. Questions or comments? Questions or comments? Okay, it's like we have none. We have none. So let's go ahead to pray this morning. Let's thank the Lord. Let's thank the Lord for another time again in His presence. Let's thank the Lord, let's thank the Lord. Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. Mr. and Mrs. Nabal. [praying in tongues]. Lord, we thank You for this morning. Lord, we bless Your name. Lord, we bless Your name. Lord, we bless Your name. Lord, we bless Your name. Lord, we bless Your name. Lord, we bless Your name. Lord God, we commit ourselves into Your hand. We commit ourselves into Your hand. Lord, You will help our life. Lord God Almighty, thank You that You have given grace, grace that is teaching us to live soberly, holy and godly in this present world. Lord, may we—may we—may we reflect grace in our life. The grace that You have released to us. Lord, grant us revelation to live by grace. Grant us revelation, this grace that You have released to us. Grant us revelation to live by them, to live soberly, to live godly, to live godly, to live godly, saying no to worldly lusts, saying no to world—to worldly living, saying no to worldly mindset, saying no to unworldly dressing, unworldly character, ungodly behavior, ungodly behavior, ungodly character in our marriage, in our homes, that we may live soberly, we may live godly in this present world by the grace that You have released to us. Lord, grant us rev—revelation, grant us revelation, grant us revelation, grant us revelation that we may live correctly. Thank You, Eternal Father, for the grace that brings salvation has appeared unto all men. Help us that we will live right. Help us that we will live soberly. Help us, oh God, that none of us will be like Nabal. None of us will be a Nabal, either male or female. None of us will be a Nabal, foolish, scoundrel, scoundrel, ill-tempered, wicked. Oh Lord, none—none of us, none of us will be quick to anger, quick to speak, but rather we will be slow to speak, we will be quick to listen, we will be slow to wrath, so that our life can work the righteousness of God in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank You, Eternal Father. Blessed be Your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's share the grace together in fellowship this morning. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us now and forevermore. Amen. [Outro Music] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development and mission heat. Our regular activities are: the discipleship class every Monday, 5:00 PM; Adolescents and Singles Club, every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Marriage Forum, second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outrages and every day counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite the Rejoice filling station along Ijegun road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 080-338-611-36, 070-336-138-48. God bless you all.