My Life My Marrige, in the Fear of God

[Choir singing] [Speaker 1] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] Forum. Of course, we have been considering all our topics since two months back under the theme, "My Life, My Marriage." And last month during our marriage forum, we were looking at what is it that makes your spouse so weak? How do we explain the nature of that weakness? How do we explain it? And what is the primary thing that constitutes our real life? We found out that our real life is eternal life that God has given, and that it is because of the sin in man, the entrance of sin, that makes us weak. Today, we still want to move on under that theme, "My Life, My Marriage," looking at the relationship between our life and our marriage. There is something about your life that is so connected with your marriage. Once the life is not right, the marriage cannot be right. Once the life is, if there is something wrong with the life, then there will be something wrong with the marriage. If you remember our topic on the tongue, once the tongue is not upright, then we saw the effects it can have on the marriage. Today, we want to look at the matter of the fear of God. The fear of God. And we want to look at that particularly within the context of your life and your marriage. Your life and your marriage. The fear of God. Our main text is Ephesians chapter five, the popular text on marriage. Ephesians 5. But instead of starting from the popular verse 22, my emphasis will be on the verse 21. On the verse 21. In Ephesians chapter five, from verse 21 through to verse 33, the Bible outlined, the Bible brings to light what should be the relationship between a husband and a wife. And in explaining this, the Bible makes it clear the individual role that the husband should play and that the wife should play. Now, let's look at that scripture. The Bible in verse 21 says: "Submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21) Then 22 downwards to 33: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:22-33) Now, many times when reference is made to Christian relationships between the husband and the wife, many times we talk more from the verse 22 downward, where the Bible says "Wives, submit," talking about the role of the wife, and then the role of the husband from verse 25. But like I said earlier, I want us to look at this whole matter from the verse 21. The verse 21 is the focus of our discussion today, even though we'll be relating it to the other verses, 22 through to 33. Verse 21, looking at it closely, lays a foundation for what happens between verse 22 and verse 33. Oftentimes, the message of verse 21 appears to be silent when you begin the matter from verse 22. In 21, the Bible says "Submitting." There is a submission that comes before the wife's submission to the husband and the husband's love for the wife. There is a submission. It says, "Submitting to one another." There is a submission that governs Christian relationships. There is a submission that governs the relationship among believers. There is a submission that if the two people that are entering into marriage, if actually they are believers, if actually they have a proper understanding of their relationship with Jesus, if actually there is an intimate relationship between the person who happens to be the husband, if there is an intimate relationship between him and the Lord Jesus, and the person who happens to be the wife, if there is a proper relationship, an intimate relationship between the wife and Jesus, then there is a submission that governs Christian relationship in marriage before the wife submits to the husband and then the husband loves the wife. There is a submission. And that is my focus this morning. Among believers, when two believers enter into marriage, there is this aspect of their relationship which is fundamental and crucial. In fact, it is this aspect that gives direction to verse 22 down to verse 33. For example, if you look at verse 22, look at the wife's submission. It says, "Wives, submit to your own husband as to the Lord." For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church submits to Christ, so let wives submit to their own husband in everything. So, a woman who does not understand the submission of the church to Christ, a woman who has not been submitting to Jesus, who does not have a clear understanding of that submission, cannot submit to a man. It becomes a difficult thing because the only way she can understand that submission, the submission must have been her lifestyle. She has, during her lifestyle before she entered into marriage, learned to submit to the Lord. She understood that submission. She knows what it means to submit to the Lord. So when the Lord is now telling her, "Submit to your husband just the way you submit to me," she is able to comprehend and understand the submission. So, a woman who is not sharing intimacy with God will become a rebel in marriage. So the rebellion you have in women is not about the man's behavior or not. It is coming out from a foundational problem. The foundational problem is that she had not understood what it means to submit to the Lord. The same way, I'm just trying to give a background to our discussion. I want you to see that there is a strong relationship between verse 21 and all the other things the Bible has to say about the relationship between the husband and the wife. If you go to that of the husband, which we will soon come to much more later, it says, "Husbands, love your wife." Do you see it again? "As Christ loves the church." So you are seeing that the love of the husband is also flowing from a relationship between the man and Christ. So as we'll be coming to all of this much more later, I'm trying to make you see that Christian marriages, Christian relationships, when you say believers are entering into marriage, before we talk about wife submitting to husband, husband loving the wife, it is crucial for us to look into this matter of submitting to one another in the fear of God. So what we are saying is this, under "My Life, My Marriage," once a brother cannot submit to another in the fear of God, and a sister cannot submit to another in the fear of God, then the sister cannot understand what it means to submit in marriage to a man, and the brother cannot adequately comprehend what it means to love a woman as Christ loves the church. And so I want you to look closely at this scripture. Submitting to one another in the fear of God. So we are saying that fundamentally, for me to, let us look at it now from the direction of the man. I want to take it section by section, this matter of submitting to one another in the fear of God. Now, let's look at it from the side of the husband, from the side of men, from the side of the man. Now, the Bible says submitting to one another in the fear of God. If as a man I want to submit to something, I want to agree with something, I want to listen to something, I want to yield myself to something, the Bible says for me to do that, I am to do it in the fear of God, in recognition of God, in seeing the Lord. Now, let me relate that now to marriage. Now, it means when you look at this verse of the scripture, this verse is making us to see that the husband is actually not the head of the house. When you are talking about who is the head of the house, the husband is not the ultimate head of the house. That is why if you look at the Bible in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, if you take your reading from verse two, the popular scripture on headship, you will see that the Bible outlined something for us as believers to learn. 1 Corinthians chapter 11, let me quickly take a reading there from the verse three. It says, let me take it from verse two: "Now I praise you, brethren, that you remember me in all things and keep the traditions just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to know..." (1 Corinthians 11:2-3) There is something we need to know. And what is it? "...that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3) When you look at this scripture, what we are seeing is that when you enter into the marriage, the ultimate leader in that house cannot be the man. When you draw the diagram, what you call the organogram, when you look at it, the organizational structure, ultimately you have God, then you have Christ, then the man comes in, then the woman comes in. So the head of the house cannot be the man. There is somebody the man is submitting to. The man is the head of the woman. So the submission of the man is to somebody. Once you remove that organogram, that is, once you remove that organizational structure, once you remove verse 21 where the Bible says, "Submitting to one another in the fear of God," what you will have is this: when you look into the family, the organogram will be that the man comes first, then the woman, then the children in that order. You will not see God. You will not see Christ and God. That is the link between verse 21 and 22 to 33. The first thing about any Christian home is that we are submitting to one another. The wife is submitting to the husband, the husband is submitting to the wife, children are submitting to the parents, the parents are submitting to the children. There is this submission that is the ultimate one, that is in the fear of God. So the ultimate head of any home that you may describe as a Christian home is not the man. Anywhere you have the man as the ultimate head, it means we have removed verse 21 in the structure of that marriage. We are just jumping to verse 22. There will be a fundamental problem. There will be instability. There will be troubles in that marriage. And if I may announce to you, one of the major issues leading to serious marital instability today, because when you look at our society, it looks as if marriage has become a death sentence. When people enter into marriage, it looks as if everything about them begins to die because of the extent of marital instability today. And we can in our own society in Nigeria, we can talk of the number of women especially, and even men, that their death resulted from domestic violence. We can talk of children whose life derailed because of marital instability. And as we all know in our own society today, marital instability today has taken a dimension that everybody is worried. Everyone is concerned. The church, the government, individuals, everybody. We are so concerned. And I'm going to show you that one major thing today to consider is that in many marriages, verse 21 is a missing link. Before we talk about a woman submitting to a man, and we are talking about a man loving a woman, we first need to cross-check their lives. We need to cross-check. We need to crosscheck whether the man understands what it means to submit to another person in the fear of God. Whether the woman understands what it means to submit to another person in the fear of God. Once this dimension is missing in their life, I'm telling you, that marriage is a home on a time bomb. And many times today, it appears to me that I should also pray the prayer of a friend in the Lord. He raised a prayer and I read it. He said, "I pray for you that your wedding day will not be the day, will not also mark the day of the burial of God's purpose in your life." For many people, it appears that wedding day marks the beginning of their going down. And one crucial issue we need to consider today about "My Life, My Marriage" is this matter of submitting to one another in the fear of God. And so I was talking about the man. I said, looking at the man, if you look at that organizational structure, if you consider 1 Corinthians chapter 11 that we read just now, the man is not the head of the house. The man submits to Christ as his head. And Christ again has his own head, and that is God. So before we talk about the man in any marriage, we must talk about God and Christ. It may sound very, very simple, but I am telling you it's a serious matter. Before you talk about any brother, and for you who may not be married that is listening to me, what makes a man a man is not that he's riding a Jeep. Several men that are trekking on the road, they are men than men who are riding Jeeps. I want you to get that clear. What makes a man a man is not because there is money in his pocket or he has a fat bank account. What makes a man a man is not that the suit is well slimmed. You understand me? And when you look at him, he is something, oh, you say this is handsome, this man is handsome par excellence. In fact, I've fallen in love with him, even though he has not said anything. [Speaking Yoruba]. But I want to warn you about what makes a man a man. The same way I will also be telling you what makes a woman a woman. Many times what we go for in people is the container, not the content. Whereas, what makes a bottle of Coke a bottle of Coke is not the bottle but the liquid inside. And that is why they will write, "Liquid content only." I may announce to you, fundamentally about marriage, what you are really marrying is the liquid content. It's the content. It's not the Jeep, it's not the houses, it's not no, that's not what you are marrying. It's not the container. It is what is inside the man. What is the mindset of this man? What you marry in any individual is their mindset. Their mindset. And I want to show you that very fundamentally. I want to use a story in the Bible to bring this to the fore for you, this matter of the verse 21, submitting to one another in the fear of God. I will use a biblical example to illustrate it, and then we will raise one or two things about it, and then we will go to how it applies again for the woman. Look at Genesis. "My Life, My Marriage," and we are talking about the man, the male. What makes a male a male? Who is a man? Of course, a lot of things could be considered, but we are considering one of the fundamental things today. What I'm trying to say that what I'm saying, what we are discussing today is not the whole thing that makes a man a man before God. There are other things. But we are considering one of the most crucial. That once this one is not there, I can dare to say that every other thing will lose direction. Every other one, they will lose direction. Let's look at Genesis chapter 21. Let's look at what the Bible says there just for us to pick some lessons for our life. Genesis chapter 21, I'm reading from verse one: "And the Lord visited Sarah as He had said, and the Lord did for Sarah as He had spoken. For Sarah conceived and bore Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him." (Genesis 21:1-2) My prayer is that the Lord will visit Sarah as He had said, and He will come to you as He had said. May the Word of God be performed in your own life too, as this family experienced their visitation. May our families be visited according to the promises of God for us in Jesus' name. So we read on: "And Abraham called the name of his son who was born to him—whom Sarah bore to him—Isaac." (Genesis 21:3) You can know why the Bible is doing all those qualifications, because it had been Sarah's testimony or the conclusion about Sarah was that she will not be able to give birth. And I pray that everywhere it seems your file has been closed, may your file be opened in the name of Jesus Christ. Everywhere men have concluded over your life that it is not possible, may the God of possibilities, God that can handle everything that look impossible, may He turn your impossibilities to possibilities in Jesus' name. So we read on: "Then Abraham circumcised his son Isaac when he was eight days old, as God had commanded him. Now Abraham was one hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. And Sarah said, 'God has made me laugh, and all who hear will laugh with me.'" (Genesis 21:4-6) Oh, everywhere men have talked you down, may they laugh with you in Jesus' name. Everywhere people have looked down on you, may they come up to hear your testimony and rejoice with you in Jesus' name. Now, where we are going gradually. "She also said, 'Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? For I have borne him a son in his old age.' So the child grew and was weaned. And Abraham made a great feast on the same day that Isaac was weaned. And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, scoffing, mocking. Mocking, scoffing, mocking. Therefore she said to Abraham, 'Cast out this bondwoman and her son; for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, namely with Isaac.' And the Bible says, 'And the matter was very displeasing in Abraham's sight because of his son.'" (Genesis 21:7-11) The matter was very displeasing. I want to read that those verses to you in some other translations. I just want you to appreciate the matter there. The Bible says, and the thing, and the thing was... let me first read from Amplified. It says, "And the thing was very grievous, serious, evil in Abraham's sight on account of his son Ishmael." The matter that Sarah raised in the sight of Abraham was evil. I read to you in the King James version. It says, "And this very thing was grievous in Abraham's sight." In the New Living Translation, the Bible says, "This upset Abraham." Abraham saw what Sarah said as something evil. Why is it evil? Why was it a grievous thing? Why was it something that upset Abraham? You need to go back into the story. Let's go down the memory lane a little. You can remember how Ishmael came. Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham as wife. As at this time, in this culture, this was acceptable. Once anybody, a wife, gives her servant girl to the husband as a wife, that servant girl automatically becomes a wife. And the children of the servant girl must not be reckoned again as bastard or as inferior. They are reckoned as the children of the man. That is why when you look at the 12 tribes of Israel, you will remember that Leah and Rachel were not the two people that gave birth to the 12 tribes. The servant girls of Leah and Rachel were also given to Jacob as wives. And you noticed that when God was taking the record, God considered them also as the 12 sons of Jacob. And so we have the 12 tribes of Israel to date. They did not distinguish in terms of their lineage and their inheritance. They are all sons of Jacob. So I want you to understand the matter here, why the matter that Sarah raised was evil. Why what Sarah was demanding for was grievous. Why what she was saying was something that made Abraham to look at Sarah and say, "Woman, from which background are you speaking? Can you hear yourself? Can you listen to yourself? Do you know what you are saying? Do you know what injustice you are trying to perpetuate? Do you know the evil you are trying to bring into this family? Don't you understand the ordinances of God? Don't you know the laws of God? That you are the one that gave this woman to me and she became a wife. And this child you are talking about is not a bastard. This child is actually a true son. And this child is the firstborn. So this child must inherit." Inheritance go to the first son and not the second. What you are saying is evil. What you are saying is something that is grievous to any godly mind. Abraham's godly mind was grieved. His righteous soul was vexed because of the matter that Sarah raised. And of course, he has the right to have such a mindset when you consider the matter seriously from the standpoint of what he seen as just and right as at their own time. So the matter was evil. I am saying this, I'm emphasizing this, so that as I'm emphasizing it, please don't lose sight of where we are coming from. We are trying to look at submitting to one another in the fear of God. And we are looking at this matter as it concerns the man. Before we look at as it concerns the woman. We want to look at it now as it concerns the man, Abraham, a man of God, a friend of God. We want to look at how this matter of a man being able to submit to God before he will be able to love his wife. A man who does not understand what it means to submit to God is not a man that is fit for a marriage. Once you marry such man, you will be in trouble. There's going to be a lot of instability. There's going to be a lot of problem. And that is what we are trying to consider in this place. Now, when you look at Abraham, the matter was grievous. Now, in the subsequent verse, look at what the Bible says, verse 12. What did the Bible say? What did the Bible say? You noticed that the Bible began that verse with "But." You know when we say "But," we are contrasting the initial idea. We are showing an opposite direction. We are showing a trend that is going on another line. The Bible begins that verse with "But." But in that marriage, there was a but. May this but be in your marriage. May this but be in your home. There was a but. What is the but? But God. Are you seeing something? There was an ultimate head in that house. There was an ultimate head. Abraham was not the ultimate head in that house. Any house where the man is the ultimate head is a house where peace will not reign. Any house where the man is the ultimate head is a house where there will be no stability. Any house—and I'm warning you, sisters, that are yet to marry—you look at a man in a Jeep and you jump at him, you are marrying a headless man. The head of every man is Christ, and the head of Christ is God. Any marriage where God is not the ultimate, you have a man that has no head. You have married a beast. You have married a monster. Any marriage where verse 21 is not found before verse 22 is a marriage where the man is a beast. And of course, what would a beast do with human beings? I want to ask you, what does a beast do with human beings? If you meet a lion today, what will the lion do to you? If you meet a tiger today, what will the tiger do to you? Meet a hyena, what will it do to you? It will tear you and kill you. That is why you find our men today beating, turning their wives to punching bag, beating them, uselessly them, domestic violence. You find it everywhere because they are monsters. They are headless. They may be riding Jeep, they are beasts. They may have money in their pocket, very, very fast, but they are monsters. I want to ask you, if God can permit you on your wedding day, and you suddenly see that the brother that you said, "I will, I do," you see that the person speaking to you is speaking from the neck? You can't find the head. Will that marriage continue? But because many of the people we call sisters, they are not sisters, they are just "sis," they are spiritually blind and spiritually deaf. They can see nothing. So even when a man is headless, they are jumping around it. "I do, I do, I do, I do!" All they could see is Jeep. All they could see is certificate. All they could see is the suit. All they could see is the money in his pocket and the fat bank account. All they could see is the material gain they want to gain. Sister, wake up! And if you're already in marriage, we are trying to look at your life as a man. Are you a beast in your home or you are a man, truly a man? Are you a monster in your marriage? Do you know that when you can beat a woman and you can harass a woman, you are a monster? I'm trying to show you something about Abraham. That is why I took time to properly paint the picture that Sarah raised. The matter that Sarah raised is a matter that Abraham should look at Sarah and say, "Woman, if I don't throw you through the door, it's because I'm merciful. I will throw you through the window, and all the burglary something will deal with you. Because by the time you are out through the window, all your bones will have been scattered. Do you know what you are saying at all? Me? Send away my son? You must be mad. You must be crazy." And I see many men doing that today. When their wife raise issues, issues that are grievous, issues that they consider as evil. "What did you just say? Did I hear you say this? For this that you have said, you are a fool. What you need is a slap!" [Smacking noise] Sarah raised a matter that to a godly mind was evil. She was demanding a thing and she was saying, "Look, honey, this marriage will not work because this boy must leave this house. If this boy and this woman don't leave this house, this marriage will not work." And the matter she was raising, as far as the issues we are considering is concerned, was something evil. How will you send away the firstborn? How will you send away a woman who is also a wife? Because Abraham did not just sleep with Hagar. It was through the normal and the proper process. How will you send her away? Sarah must be a stupid woman. And I see some men today jumping everywhere, and then they will meet their friend. "Do you know the foolish thing my wife just said? My wife was telling me that I should do this particular thing. Look at the nonsense she's saying." And I see the friends telling him, "That woman must be crazy. You married her with your money. Throw her out instead, and her own son. Because she must be a very selfish and senseless woman." And I see all kinds of that going on today in our marriages. But look at what the Bible says here. The Bible says, "But God." May this but be in our marriages. Oh Lord, help our churches today. Help our young men and our young women that this but will be in their homes, in the name of Jesus Christ. But there was a God. In the organogram of that marriage, the man was not the ultimate head. There was a head. This man has a head. So his head began to speak to him. The man is not the head of the house. The man is the head of the woman. Christ is the head of the man, and God is the ultimate head. So the head of the house began to speak to the man in that house. The head began to speak to him. He said, "Abraham, the matter that you raised, your perception, is not correct. Your mindset is not right." Look at what God said. "But God said to Abraham, 'Do not let it be displeasing in your sight.'" (Genesis 21:12) It means Abraham and Sarah could not reconcile the matter. Sarah could not convince Abraham. They have dragged the matter back and front. They could not agree. As far as Abraham is concerned, Ishmael is going nowhere. Hagar is going nowhere. Ishmael is the firstborn. Ishmael must inherit. So between the two of them, they could not agree. And I see many homes today where the two cannot agree. Can they work together? What will happen eventually? You start seeing pushing away. You start seeing "I file a divorce case." "I am going this way, I am going that way." Is that not what is happening today in our society? When matters come between husband and wife—and I'm telling you, as far as life is concerned, there will be several matters between husband and wife that the two of them will not be able to reconcile. Many issues will come up that if the two of them are to discuss it, they will not be able to come to a conclusion. They will not be able to. Just like this case. It is this kind of cases that have been bringing marital instability all around us. Many, many things like this. The wife said the husband said, "No, yes, yes, no, yes." And then before you know it, "I put this woman away. In fact, this man is that, this woman is that," and then this one go away, that one goes this way. But any marriage where there is an ultimate head, where the man is not the head of the home, where the man has a head, where verse 21 is operational, before the woman begin to submit to the man and the man loving the woman, the Bible says "Submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21) So there was a God that Abraham must submit to. And he's submitting to that God, he will be able to submit to Sarah. Look at what the Bible says. "Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman. Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice." (Genesis 21:12) Whatever Sarah has said. Anything that Sarah said in their discussion that they could not agree, what is the head now telling Abraham? "Go and submit to Sarah." So when you see a man that does not understand what it means to submit to a woman, to agree with a woman, to come down and listen to his wife, the problem is not about the woman. It's not because the woman raise a selfish matter. It's not because the woman say, "Me, I will not listen to you, you don't know anything." That is not the problem. The problem is with the man. The man has no head. When a man cannot love his wife despite her rebellion... because the Bible says, "Husband, love your wife as Christ loves the church." Christ loved us when we were yet enemies. Christ did not die for His friends. Christ died for His enemies. Even when a woman is an enemy, when your wife is your enemy, the matter she's raising is grievous to you, her position is not the position of submission, it is a position of rebellion, it is a position of "I will not listen to you." If you understand what it means to submit to God, you will not be able to raise up your hand because you know you are to love her as Christ loves the church. But once a man is headless, sister, your life is in trouble. Once a man is headless, and brother, don't begin to boast yourself that, "Me, you are this, you're a lion in your house, you are this in your house." It's because you are a beast. If that is what you can boast about. That once I enter my house like this, my wife knows if she talks twice, it's a dirty slap. And so once I enter, everybody is silent. Once I command, nobody speak. Once I speak, nobody answers me back. I am the ruler in my house. And you are proud of that? Can I tell you that you are a fool? You're only a monster. You're a beast. What I'm saying is that it is not the rebellion in your wife, it is not the lack of submission in your wife that is causing the instability in your house. The instability is about you—you are a headless man. The position of Sarah... Sarah raised a matter that was grievous. Sarah was insisting on something that is not correct. She was saying something that, "Aha! Let others come and listen." But the way forward is not to begin to beat her. The way forward is not to molest her. The way forward for this marriage is that Abraham went to his own head. Many times as a man, you don't go to your head to look for solution. You don't go to your head. The solution is for you to develop a spiritual life, to develop a life that can relate to God. And I'm begging parents, in raising your children, this is the first thing to raise in them. It's not education is good, but don't raise monsters into society. Children that they cannot relate to God. Many young men today, they are just monsters on the road. And that is why you say rape here, rape there, rape here, rape there. I'm not justifying indecent dressing. I'm not saying that it is good that women are dressing naked. But even if a woman is completely naked, a man who is not a beast will not rape her. But a man who is a beast, once he sees breast and whatever that he can see, what happens to him? Just the way the cock will just come out from one corner and run after the hen and climb, and then he's through with the sexual intercourse. Is that not what is happening today? The cock don't ask whether the hen is consenting. Even when the hen is running here and there, the cock will still be pursuing it. It will pursue, pursue, pursue until it apprehend the hen, and then have sex with the hen. Is that not what is happening today? You see our young men because they are beast. They say, "She was the one that caused it. She was naked. Her clothes... she was the one that first seduced me because her lap was open." I'm not justifying nakedness. I'm justifying decent dressing. But it's because you are a beast. That is why like a cock you can be pursuing hens that are not consenting to you. But what are we saying today? I am begging parents everywhere, mothers, fathers, let us raise our sons, let's raise men that are not beast in society. Let's raise people that are sane. And a man cannot be sane except he shares intimacy with God. Because in the image of God he was made, and until he reflects that image, he cannot be a man. Look at how the matter turns. God told Abraham, "Don't let the matter be grievous in your sight." What God said here, ordinarily you will be wondering, "Aha, why is God so unjust? Why is God going this direction?" If we as men we are to look at this matter, we will side Abraham. We will side Abraham. But when he got to his head, and that is why I tell men many times, the solution to your marriage is not running around to get advice from so many people who will tell you that "Go and beat your wife, go and throw her out." The solution is for you to develop a spiritual life, to relate to God. And when matters arise like this, what are you to do? You go to your head. You go to your head and you say, "Baba, I don't know. Lord Jesus, I'm confused. How can I love this woman in this matter? How can I do it in this matter? How can I agree with her in this matter?" And you know the way forward will be given to you. That is why once a man cannot share intimacy with God, such that he can talk to God and he can be led by God, may I announce to you, women, that man is not marriageable. Don't marry such man. What you will find will be marital instability. What you will find will be molestation, will be domestic violence, because you have married a headless man. You have married a monster. So you're looking at you as a man. Can you really say you are a man? Husbands that are listening to me, and young men that are listening to me, are you a man? Are you truly a man? Are you really, really a man? Check your life. Are you really, really a man? Those of you that are in marriage right now, husbands that are listening to me, check, check, check the way you have been handling things in your marriage. Are you a man or you are a beast or a monster? And look at how the matter turns. The ultimate head in this marriage told Abraham, "Abraham, don't let the matter be grievous in your sight." What God said here, ordinarily you will be wondering, "Aha, why is God so unjust? Why is God going this direction? If we as men we are to look at this matter, we will side Abraham. We will side Abraham." But when he got to his head, he told Abraham, "You and Sarah, everything about Ishmael is your own alternative agenda. It was not me that brought about Ishmael. I did not expect Ishmael to be in your life in the first place. All those agenda came out of the flesh. It's not spiritual. There's nothing—as far as eternity is concerned—Ishmael have no place in my agenda. The one that has a place in my agenda is Isaac. That your own program, go and abandon it. So if Sarah is abandoning the program now, Sarah is only becoming spiritual. If you are still in that program now, Abraham, you are the one that is carnal. Sarah now is waking up to her spirituality. You are going back to carnality. So please become spiritual like Sarah." You see how the matter turns? You see how the matter turns? But this is in a marriage where the man is not the ultimate head. Where verse 21 exists. Submitting to one another in the fear of God. And I just see that the following morning—I don't know whether it's following morning or whether it's a week later, the Bible did not tell us—but I know that subsequently, Abraham will go to Sarah and say, "Darling, that matter you raised the other time about Hagar and Ishmael, she said, 'Yes, yes, my husband.' That matter, I think you are right. I'm going to send them away." And I just see Sarah say, "Oh, my darling husband! Thank you! I've said it! You love me so much! I know you will not exchange me for anything! What a wonderful husband you are!" But I want to tell you, what gave them solution? What gave them solution? It was because verse 21 was there. Submitting to one another in the fear of God. So it is—when we are talking about this matter—you can see that it is not just when we say "Wife, submit to your husband," and everybody is shouting, "Heh! Heh! The submission is about the woman, it's about the woman!" We have forgotten verse 21. That there is also a submission in which the man submits to the wife, where God overrules. Anywhere God overrules the decision of the man, then everybody submits to God. Everybody submits to God. This is a crucial thing today about your life, your marriage. I want you as a wife and a husband to think. Are you already married? Look at your home. Are you not yet married? Consider your ways. Consider your ways. Consider your ways as we trust God to meet again second Saturday of next month for another episode of our marriage forum. I trust that the Lord will keep us. The Lord will be with us. The Lord will help your home. The Lord will cause you to experience peace and stability in your marriage. May the Lord visit every husband that has listened to me. May the Lord visit every wife that has listened to me. May the Lord do us good. May our sons be men, truly men and not beasts. May our husbands be men, truly men and not monsters. May our wives be wives that excel them all. May our daughters grow up as stately pillars in the name of Jesus Christ. May God do us good as a nation. May God visit our nation and help solve this problem of marital instability. In the name of Jesus Christ. Thank You, our Father. Blessed be Your name, O God. In Jesus' name we pray. [Speaker 1] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's Word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission. Our regular activities are Discipleship Class, every Monday, 5:00 PM; Adolescents and Singles Club, every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Marriage Forum, second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outreaches, and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Veryjoy filling station along Ije road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all. [Choir singing]