Needed Heart for Marriage

[background noise] [Choir singing] He has made the gates of the Lord to [inaudible]. He has made the gates of the Lord. He has made the temple of the Lord to rejoice. He has made the gate of the Lord. He has made the temple of the Lord to rejoice. He has made the gate of the Lord. [Speaker 1] Christian fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. We thank our God again for today. We bless him for this time of gathering together unto him. We appreciate him for his mercies. We appreciate him for his love. We appreciate him for his goodness. We appreciate him for all who he is and all that he is. We trust the Lord this morning that as we gather together unto him, it will be a time of refreshment. It will be a time of blessing. It will be a time of encounter in the name of Jesus Christ. Let us have a word of prayer. Our Father, we thank you for this morning. We thank you for the privilege of gathering unto you. We thank you, O Lord our God, that the scripture says the gathering of the people shall be unto you. Lord, unto you we gather this morning. Our brethren who are joining us on Telegram, who are on Mixlr, we who are here physically, we commit ourselves into your hands. Lord, we pray that it will be a time of encounter, it will be a time of blessing, it will be a time of meeting with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, our eyes are on you. Lord, please speak to our heart this morning in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you, eternal Father. Blessed be your name, our God. In Jesus’ name we pray. We thank our God for another time again of our Singles Club gathering together unto the Lord this morning. We remember the one we did in the month of May, which was Jacob at Jabbok. I believe that a lot of lessons were learned. I know that for those of us who connected with us on that program, in one way or the other, you would have taken one or two lessons home. So this morning, as we gather again together for our Singles Club that we normally have every first Saturday of the month, we are looking at another topic again. Today we are looking at a very, very vital topic, which from the message we sent out yesterday, for those of you who got that message, we said we are looking at Needed Heart for Marriage. Needed Heart for Marriage. In the flyer that we sent out, we made something very clear that it is a talk that anybody who is considering marriage, or anybody who hopes to be married at any point in time in life, Needed Heart for Marriage, which is the topic we are considering, is a very, very important one for such persons. I pray this morning that as we look at this matter from the scripture, it will be a time for our young people to look inward again and consider how indeed prepared they are for this matter of marriage. How indeed are they getting their heart set for this matter of marriage? As we make some reflection, I just pray that the Lord will meet with you wherever you are and make it a time of encounter for you in the name of Jesus Christ. So let's look at the topic, Needed Heart for Marriage. In starting off, I quickly want to say something. When you look at marriage, when you look at the matter of the family, marriage is that institution that has its origin in God. Marriage has its origin in God. So it becomes very, very important for anybody who is looking at the matter of marriage to realize very strongly that marriage has its origin in God. Because it has its origin in God, it becomes very, very crucial that we look at it from the point in which God looks at it. I just want to remind us from a general background story in Genesis that it was not Adam that wanted to go into marriage. It was God who said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a help that is suitable for him." In looking at this matter, we notice that it was God who went ahead, created him, brought him to Adam. Then Adam said, "This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man." What I’m trying to make you see is that the whole idea of marriage had its origin, had its centrality in God. God thought about it. God made it. God brought it. In all of these things, we see the active role of God. The active role of God. So when the matter of marriage was brought to our Lord Jesus Christ and questions were raised as to whether or not, or how exactly should relationship between a husband and a wife be managed, how should it be considered? Let’s see that scripture in Matthew when the Pharisees came to Jesus and they were raising the matter of marriage. [Speaker 3] As it says in Matthew 19:3, "The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?' And he answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate." They said to him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." His disciples said to him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." [Speaker 2] Now we are looking at the discourse of Jesus between, on one hand, the Lord and the religious leaders, and on the other hand, the Lord and his disciples. For the religious leaders, what they brought to Jesus was a question. Of course, the Bible records that it's not because they were interested in learning, but because they were looking for an occasion to be able to trap Jesus as it were. I want us to read that same story from the book of Mark, Mark chapter 10. The same story we read just now. Let's look at the version also in Mark. Mark chapter 10 from verse 2. The Bible says the Pharisees came and asked him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" tempting him. They actually came tempting him. Both Matthew and Mark recorded that the purpose of their question was that it was not because these people wanted to learn anything, but these people, they came for the purpose of trapping Jesus. They already know what they want to do. They already know how they are doing it. They already have a made up mind. There's already a prevailing culture. There's a prevailing thing that they were already doing. So the matter was not, "Let us come and learn from Jesus what it ought to be." The matter was how can we trap him? Let's look for a way to trap him. Now the Bible made us see that Jesus, understanding their interest, went in his response to address the matters as far as the position of God is concerned. Since it is not as though they want to learn, it becomes very important in Jesus's response to give fundamental response to the matter that they raised. And so, the Bible reads, I'm reading the Mark version of the same version in Matthew, even though our main text will be in Matthew chapter 19. He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" They said—do you notice at this point the Lord—Mark recorded it to help us see how Jesus also gave them back in their foolishness. He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" which means he already knew what is in their heart. And he wanted to deal with the matter from the point of what is in their heart. Then they said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and dismiss her." Jesus answered and said to them—so if you look at the Mark translation, the Mark gospel made us to see that Jesus knew what was in their heart. Jesus knew that they never wanted to learn. Jesus therefore pointed to the matter that is in their heart. He said, "Okay, you are asking me whether a man can put away his wife. You already have a way you live your life now. What did Moses command you?" So they quickly responded. That is on the Mark translation of the story. He said they responded that Moses allowed them to put away the wife by a certificate of divorce. Then Jesus now answered them. Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote this precept." So you can see the same thing from the two gospels. "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote this precept. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate." That was where Mark ended the story. So for Mark, the matter of the heart was raised. But how did Jesus conclude the story? How was it concluded? Jesus concluded by telling them, "This is God's position." Now after that, the Bible—Mark now raised what happened in the house. In the house. So what actually the disciples were asking were not at that public square. It was later when they got—when they were alone with Jesus. That matter that Matthew recorded was a matter the disciples raised because they were confused as to the answer that Jesus gave them. "Hey, is that how the matter ended? No space?" So they now raised it with Jesus. And they said—in the house the disciples asked him again about the same matter. So he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Now so the matter that the disciples raised, Mark helps us see that it was a private personal discussion between Jesus and his disciples. Now why am I bringing these two records together? Why am I bringing the two together for our consideration? It is because we are looking at Needed Heart for Marriage. The needed heart for marriage. And particularly, the message this morning, or our charge this morning, is to those primarily who are yet to enter into marriage. Those who are yet to enter into marriage. It is primarily about them. If you are yet to enter into marriage, but for any reason you are hoping that one day you will marry, you are hoping that one day you will take a husband or you will take a wife, then this message is for you. Of course, if you are already married like I said, there may be one or two things to learn as we look at this matter together. Now they brought a matter to the Lord Jesus. The matter of a man and his wife. And let's look at it incorporating the story from both Mark and Matthew. When we incorporate it, when we incorporate the two together, the picture becomes clearer. They came to Jesus. They never wanted to learn. They came to Jesus, and the reason why they came to Jesus was just to sample his opinion and then in a way to be able to trap him by what he would say. And when they came to Jesus, Jesus knew what was in their heart. So Jesus tossed at them. "Can you tell me what is your position?" And he answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" which means Jesus knew that for these people who came to ask him question, they already have a way they live their life. The way they live their life is that they write certificate of divorce and they send the woman away. That is their life. So coming to say, "Can a man put away his wife for any reason?" was not that they wanted to get anything from Jesus. Their lifestyle is pointed. So Mark makes us see that Jesus gave them back in their foolishness. He said, "What did Moses command you?" because that is exactly the way they have been living their life. And they said, "If it is what Moses commanded us, Moses commanded us that we can put her away by a certificate of divorce." So the response of Jesus now came after what they said. Jesus now told them, "Okay, the reason why Moses allowed you to do that," he gave the reason. He now went ahead to establish something very important. That from the beginning, it was not so. From the beginning, He who made them at the beginning, made them male and female. And then when He made them male and female, he said, "A man," please note, not "men." "A man," one man, "will leave father and mother and be joined to his wife," not "his wives." "His wife," one woman. "And the two shall become one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." And when he said that, the Pharisees, they went away. He has closed the matter for them. And that is what becomes very, very important for us. Needed heart for marriage. Needed heart for marriage. Now when Jesus closed the matter that way, you will see—if you look at it also in Matthew, it's something similar. Jesus closed the matter as "What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Before Matthew now recorded that but they were not happy with that answer. They now questioned the answer and said, "Why then did Moses permit us to put away our wife?" So Matthew makes us see that they were not satisfied with the matter from the position of God. They weren't satisfied. So they questioned the answer and said, "Why then did Moses allow us to do this?" Then Jesus reiterated by saying that, "Look, Moses allowed you because of your heart. From the beginning it was not so." Now why is it that the Lord said Moses allowed them? I want you to have a clear understanding that it was Moses that wrote Genesis. It was Moses that wrote Genesis. And please when you look at Genesis story, what Moses recorded was something that preceded Adam. Moses wrote a report that was before Adam was created. I am saying this for you to understand that what Moses wrote in Genesis was not something he got from somebody. Because what he wrote was not something anybody could have transferred. Because nobody existed as at the time that Moses was talking about. Moses talked about in the beginning, ever before man was created. So it was not like something that happened after Adam was created then Adam transferred it to his son, that one transferred it to another son, that one to another son, until Moses's parents took it and then transferred it to Moses. No. What Moses recorded was something that he got directly from God. So it was not by oral tradition or oral literature or by word of mouth story. So Moses understood the beginning. Moses knew what was before man was. So Moses never at any point shifted from what was at the beginning. Moses rather was addressing a case of people who would not listen to God. And because they would not listen to God, Moses allowed them to have their way. It was not as if God gave Moses a command to write that if anybody wants to put away his wife they can put—no, no, no, that is not the matter. What was at the beginning never changed. Moses who wrote Genesis understood that. Rather, when men did not agree with what was at the beginning, because of the kind of heart that they had, they were now allowed to go their way. That is what the Lord Jesus made them to see. So what are we looking at in the matter of needed heart therefore? What are we looking at? What is it that we are trying to study? Now when you look at Matthew and you look at Mark, when it comes to the matter of a woman and her husband, or a man and his husband, what is it that Jesus wants us to understand? What he wants us to understand is that He who created them at the beginning made them male and female. And when he made them male and female, he said, "A man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Do you know what that scripture is trying to make us see? What that scripture is making us understand is something very, very fundamental. Fundamental in the sense that anybody that goes beyond the place where Jesus closes the matter is not a child of the kingdom. I don’t know whether you’re understanding me. There was a matter. Please listen very well. Needed heart for marriage. There was a matter. The matter was that a generation, a people came to Jesus. And when they came to Jesus, they wanted to know if the people involved in marriage, if the woman can put away her husband, or if the man can put away his wife. Because when you look at it in the Matthew translation, he said, "A man who put away his wife and marry another commits adultery. A woman who put away her husband—" so it can be whichever way. The matter that was brought is that when two people have married, they enter into marriage, can any of them decide to put away the other person? That was the question actually. Can any of them put away the other person? Jesus now gave an answer that, "Look, He who made them at the beginning made them male and female." And then he said, "A man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. What therefore God has joined let no man put asunder." And Jesus ended that that is the response. So for Jesus, can a woman who is in marriage put away her husband? No. Can a man who is in marriage put away his wife? No. Now the matter that came up was that there was already a prevailing culture. Because if you look at the Mark version, look at the Mark version, Mark chapter 10. The Bible says in Mark chapter 10 verse 3, he answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and then the man can put away his wife." So Jesus made them to see that Moses allowed you to do this because of the hardness of your heart. From the beginning it was never so. He now answered and told them very categorically in that book of Mark, Jesus answered and he said, "From the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate." Now what I want to make you see very clearly, those people who are contemplating marriage, and anybody who ever hopes to get married at any point in time later in life, I want us to see something very subtle here. The needed heart for marriage. What is the heart that is needed for marriage? The heart that is needed for marriage is what the Lord helps us play out in this place. Now Moses permitted the people. Why? Why? Because of the hardness of their heart. So which means anytime we see a woman who can put away a man, or anytime we see a man who can put away a woman, it means that heart never got converted. Do you know why I am saying so? Don't forget that when God was speaking to the children of Israel, he said, "I will take away from you the heart of stone." He said it will come to pass—that’s Ezekiel 36. Let us go there. Don't let me quote it offhand. Let's go to that scripture. I want us to look at something very, very crucial. So that as we relate this matter with themselves, I want us to see it just the way the Bible recorded it. In Jeremiah—we have it in Jeremiah, we also have it in Ezekiel. This matter that I'm raising with us. Let's see the matter in Ezekiel 36. Ezekiel 36. Then I think it's in Jeremiah chapter 31. Ezekiel 36 or it could also be the other way round, but let's just quickly get there and see what the Bible says. In Ezekiel chapter 36, I read from—oh, please sorry, let me get—I want us to read that scripture, even though I didn't plan to read it initially but I want us to read it. It will be good that we read that scripture so you can see it by yourself too. Heart of stone. I want to quickly get it using the concordance. I want us to read that scripture together. Ezekiel chapter 31—sorry, Jeremiah 31. It's Jeremiah 31 from verse 31. Jeremiah 31 from verse 31. Are we there? Now it reads, the Bible says, "Behold, the days are coming," says the Lord, "when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah—not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them," says the Lord. "But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days," says the Lord: "I will put My law"—where? Where? "I will put My law within them, I will put it in their mind, and write it"—where? "On their heart; I will be their God, and they shall be My people. No more shall every man teach his neighbor, every man shall know the Lord, for they shall all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them," says the Lord. "For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more." So what do you see that God intends to do in the new covenant? God said he will take his law, he will take the law and he will write it in their inward part. He will write it where? In their heart. So that they will not be like they were before where the covenant of God was broken. So what God would have done to this heart is that God would have taken away—I want to get the other scripture. Ezekiel 36:26. Ezekiel 36 verse 26. Please let's go to that place. Somebody has helped us here among our brethren who are here. Look at it. I want to read something to you so that you can get it clearer and get it well. I would like to read it from verse 22 and proceed to that 26. It says, "Therefore say to the house of Israel," so who is God speaking to? His people. "Thus says the Lord God: 'I do not do this for your sake, O house of Israel, but for My holy name's sake, which you have profaned among the nations wherever you went. And I will sanctify My great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst; and the nations shall know that I am the Lord,' says the Lord God, 'when I am hallowed in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land.'" What will I do after God has brought them to their own land? I want you to see a transfer from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light. "'I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols.'" Don't forget that we are washed by the washing of regeneration. Are you following me? I go on. "'I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God. I will deliver you from all your uncleannesses. I will call for the grain and multiply it, and bring no famine upon you.'" Praise the Lord. Have you seen something about this place? When you compare this place and Jeremiah, what are you seeing? What are we seeing? God intends to do what? God will do that under which covenant? A new covenant. What is the new covenant? That is the New Testament. You know in the old one, they wrote the law on stone. But in the new one, we are transformed by the renewal of our mind. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creation. Old things have passed away. Whosoever is born of God cannot continue to sin. Why? The seed of God is where? It is within him. I want you to see that. So when God is giving a new heart, God is giving a heart that will keep the judgment of God. There is a judgment of God about marriage. The judgment of God about marriage is that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female. And he said, "A man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife," one. "And the two shall become one flesh." What therefore God has joined together, that wife will keep the judgment of God, he cannot put the man away. That man cannot put the woman away. When you see a heart that cannot abide by that judgment, that heart never entered the new covenant. We are talking about needed heart for marriage. We are having a great problem today in the church. We see people you call pastors divorcing their wives. We see people you call prophetesses divorcing their husbands. In fact, I read one—I don't know whether it's a true story, social media can carry all kinds of stories, sometimes they exaggerate. A church that the husband and wife were attending, suddenly the husband was not coming home, only for the wife to discover that he was now always with the prophetess who was the founder of the church. Having made some cross-examination, the prophetess now said that the spirit of the Lord revealed to her that the woman is not fit for that man, that the man is fit to be her own husband. So I don't know, those are not—you are not in a correct place anyway when you see this kind of thing. But I'm talking about young people. Do you notice a trend today that we begin to see divorce, divorce, divorce, even among those that supposedly you call Christians? Are you understanding me? And when you begin to see this kind of thing, you begin to wonder what is the problem. You begin to wonder where is it coming from. And that is why we are looking at needed heart for marriage. There is a heart. There is a heart that is needed for marriage. How do I know? Because the disciples raised it with Jesus when they got—when you look at it from the Mark version. They raised it with Jesus, the matter, because they were confused. You know they themselves, they're also coming from that culture where a man can put away—you know they are Jews. So they now raised it with Jesus that, "Master, something is not clear." Let’s look at that Mark story. "The Pharisees came and asked him, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?' tempting him. He answered and said to them, 'What did Moses command you?' They said, 'Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and dismiss her.' Jesus said—Jesus said to them, 'Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.' He wrote them that precept." Other versions say he wrote this instruction as a concession to you for the hardness of your heart. Are you seeing it? But from the beginning—you know it was Moses who wrote the beginning. Please don't forget. Moses got that revelation directly from God. Nobody told Moses about what happened before the beginning. He got it directly from God. Nobody could have told him because that thing happened before Adam. So nobody could have transferred it to Moses. He got it directly from God. So Moses knew the beginning, that in the beginning God made them male and female and said a man shall leave father and mother. So Moses never commanded them to go ahead against God. But Moses yielded a concession. The concession was that if you go and read Jewish history, domestic violence and gender violence is not a new thing. They will do everything to kill the woman so that they can marry another one. Or they do everything to kill the man so that they can marry another husband. When Moses saw the trend, Moses thought it is better you let her go than kill her. So Moses was not giving a commandment, he was giving a concession. A concession that you can do this thing. So Jesus said, "Moses was in a difficult situation. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to handle you people because you have a heart of stone. You have a heart that normally breaks God's covenant." Unfortunately, that is what your fathers transferred to you as God's commandment. Unfortunately, what became your religion does not have a link to God. May that not be our portion in life. That what becomes your belief in life does not have a connection with God. It took its origin from a disconnection from God. Something originated from that point and what originated became the belief and the religious practice of the people. So Jesus said, "No, Moses knew the beginning. Moses never commanded. He gave a concession when he saw that these people were wicked and they were bad." Now God saw that in Ezekiel and Jeremiah, and God said, "Look, you always break my covenant, so I'm going to make a new covenant. I'm going to take this heart of stone away, I will give a heart of flesh. That heart of flesh will obey my covenant. Why will it obey my judgment? Because I will put My Spirit inside that heart. I will write it on it, so it's able to follow My judgment." So what judgment will that heart follow? It will be the judgment that was at the beginning. There is a judgment of God at the beginning. And when they brought the matter of a man and his wife to Jesus, where did Jesus take them back to? He took them back to where? To the beginning. Now why was there a departure from the beginning? Because there was a heart that was hard. That is why every departure from the beginning is about a heart that never got converted. That is why every departure from the beginning is about a heart that never received that touch, that thing that makes the heart not to be a heart of stone. That thing that makes the heart not to be a wicked heart. That thing that makes the heart—so needed heart for marriage. When we are talking about marriage, there is a heart that we need. It is not a heart that is religious. That's the point I'm trying to draw now. It is not a heart that is religious. It is not a heart that goes to church. It's not a heart that is the heart of religious leader. No. It's not a heart that practiced the ways of God. No, that's not just it. It's not just that kind of heart. It is a heart that reconnected back to where? To the beginning. It is that heart that reconnects back to the beginning. That heart that can obey God's judgment. So the point we are making about marriage for anybody who is contemplating marriage in the future, for anybody who is thinking of marriage, is that the fundamentals for marriage is what? It's a heart that can take the judgment of God. And I want you to get this. The heart that can take it. Get something very clear. The people of Israel that God was speaking to, are they God's people? They are God's people. Are they people that God separated for himself? They are. And he was telling them that the heart you have normally break my law. So we don't just need somebody who is a Christian. We need somebody more than that. We are talking about needed heart for marriage. When it comes to the matter of marriage, we don't just need that he is a Christian. No. We don't just need that the person speaks in tongues. It is more than the person speaks in tongues. It is more than he is a religious leader. No, he is the fellowship leader. It is more than all of those things. There is something that must have happened. Needed heart for marriage. Because we are not seeing these thing today. What we look at more is he is a believer, he was in the fellowship, he was once this, he was once that. The father is a pastor, he must be a Christian. He speaks in tongues, it is true, but there is still something. He may qualify for every other thing, but he's not qualified for marriage. The one that will qualify for marriage, look at what Jesus said. The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man and his wife, it is better not to marry." What did he answer them? Can we read it together? "But he said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given.'" Brethren, what are you seeing in that place? Not every heart is the heart for marriage. "All cannot accept this thing." They cannot accept this. There are those to whom it is given. I'm talking about this because there is so much confusion today in the church. All manners of questions, all manners of things. "I’m tired. Pastor, I'm tired." That is why we are addressing this matter. That's why we are calling the attention of younger generation. Not every heart is a marriage material. That doesn't make the person not to be a Christian. "All cannot accept this thing." That is, when it comes to the judgment of God on this matter, all cannot accept it. I see people—we have read our Bibles very well. We have read it well. "All cannot accept this matter." When it comes to the matter—what is the matter that Jesus was raising with them? He who made them at the beginning, made them what? Male and female. And he said for this reason a man will leave father and mother and be joined to his wife. What therefore God has joined together, they will become one. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate. The people who will accept this, it is not all. That is, understand something. It is not all men that will come to this understanding. It is not all sisters that will come to that understanding. Look at what the Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:7. Look at that place for instance. 2 Timothy 3:7. Verse 7 and 8. For you to get it very clear, you can read it from verse 1. So you can understand what is going on in that place very well. [Speaker 4] 2 Timothy 3:1. "But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty." [Speaker 2] There will be what? Brethren, young people, are we in difficult times today? Are we in very difficult times today? Do you agree to that? Read on. [Speaker 4] "For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy." [Speaker 2] "They will consider nothing as sacred." [Speaker 4] "Unholy, heartless, unappeasable." [Speaker 2] "They will be heartless and unforgiving." Heartless and unforgiving. [Speaker 4] "Slanderous, without self-control." [Speaker 2] They will slander others and have no self-control. [Speaker 4] "Brutal, not loving good." [Speaker 2] They will be brutal and they will hate what is good. [Speaker 4] "Treacherous, reckless." [Speaker 2] They will betray their friends. [Speaker 4] "Swollen with conceit." [Speaker 2] Puffed up with pride. [Speaker 4] "Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God." [Speaker 2] And love what? Rather than God. Go on. [Speaker 4] "Having the appearance of godliness." [Speaker 2] They will what? Are you seeing it? They will act religious. [Speaker 4] "But denying its power." [Speaker 2] But they will reject the power that will make them godly. [Speaker 4] "Avoid such people." [Speaker 2] Avoid such people. Stay away from people like this. Go on. [Speaker 4] "For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions." [Speaker 2] They are the kind who work their way into people's homes and win the confidence of vulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. They have a way of sweet-talking of—they quickly enter our fellowship, they quickly mix with us, they have a way, you know, of making things sound—it's not that serious, brethren, there is liberty in the faith, let us move on. They have a way of warming in. Yes. [Speaker 4] "Always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth." [Speaker 2] "Always learning, but they are never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth." Are you seeing that? There are people who are forever learning. There are people, they are forever learning, but they will never agree with it. They have been learning about believers' behavior, but in their own heart, "No, when I get there, it depends on how the person behaves, it depends on how the person—" what is the kind of heart? You see, if the heart—once the heart already alternates, that marriage will be alternated. That is what I’ve come to find out. Which kind of heart are you carrying? It is not all men that will come to this understanding. It is not all sisters that will come to that understanding. They are everything except that the heart was not broken. Their mind was never transformed. "Be transformed by the renewal of your mind." Their mind never went through transformation. They never subject that mind to Jesus. They never gave it to Jesus. They came in, they look like us, they speak in tongues like us, they do miracles like us, they preach like us, they disciple like us. We do everything together, but their mind was never transformed. Their mind still remains intact. That is what I’m talking about. What the Bible is trying to make us see is that divorce is a matter of the kind of mind, heart that enters into marriage. There is a needed heart for marriage. We must pray God for us to be discerning. It is more than the person is a Christian. It is more than the person speaks in tongues. It is more than he is a religious leader. No, he is the fellowship leader. It is more than all of those things. There is something that must have happened. Needed heart for marriage. Because we are not seeing these things today. What we look at more is he is a believer, he was in the fellowship, he was once this, he was once that. The father is a pastor, he must be a Christian. He speaks in tongues, it is true, but there is still something. He may qualify for every other thing, but he is not qualified for marriage. The one that will qualify for marriage, look at what Jesus said. "But he said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given.'" Brethren, what are you seeing in that place? Not every heart is the heart for marriage. Not everybody will accept this. That is the reality that we are facing today. Is everybody accepting this? What are we witnessing all around us today, young people? Sometimes when you are thinking of marriage, your heart is shaking. "I hope, I hope this brother, I hope this sister," because not everybody is accepting this. Yes, they want to marry. But would you marry? You don't want to accept the ordinance of God, the person who created it. It was his idea, it was his point of view. This is what he did. You want to eat your cake but you still want to still have it back. Marriage is not compulsory. If you don't have the heart for it, don't go into it. You will live a better person. You will succeed well in ministry. You will do well as president of fellowship. You will do well as—you can do other things very well. But if you don't have that heart that he calls, not a hard heart. The heart is very, very simple. That's why Timothy described it. He said men will become lovers of themselves. He said, "If any man would follow me, let him deny himself." Take up the cross, follow me. If anybody want to follow me, let him take my own yoke and learn of me. We want to follow him, but we don't want to learn of him. What is it that Apostle Paul said about this kind of people? I want to close the matter. Philippians. Let's go to Philippians chapter 3. Look at something that Apostle Paul said in Philippians chapter 3. He said something that when you read it, it becomes a matter to really, really consider, to really check and know and say, "Ah God, Lord please help my heart." Philippians chapter 3. It was talking about men who walk not as they walk. And he was telling the brethren that they need to be careful, they need to be watchful. Chapter 3. I read from verse 17. I will read different translations so you can get the picture. He said, "Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk as you have us for a pattern." Who is the one in here? Who is he talking to? The brethren. He said, "Join in following my example, and note those who walk who so walk as you have us for a pattern." NLT: "Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your life after mine, and learn from those who follow our example." NIV: "Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you." The Message: "Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal." Amplified: "Brethren, together follow my example, and observe those who live after the pattern we have set for you." Why? Can we read verse 18 and 19 together? "For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of"—what? "The cross of Christ." Please note, are they enemies of Christ? What are they enemies of? Are you seeing it? That is, the condition. The condition. They are enemies of the cross. And what does the Bible say about them in verse 19? "Whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, whose glory is in their shame, who set their mind on"—what? "On earthly things." NLT: "Their future is eternal destruction. Their god is their appetite. They brag about shameful things, and all they think about is this life and here on earth." Where are these people? Are they outside the fellowship or they are inside the fellowship? They are inside the fellowship. Let us be on our guard. Marriage is not about looking out. It’s about what? Looking in. It’s about asking yourself. It is not a must you go into marriage. But if you desire to go, the Lord has set the order. He has set this is how it will be. So go and check. Am I seeing it as the Lord is seeing it? Am I agreeing with this thing? I talked to somebody, she said, "No, for me oh, I don't mind marrying oh, but nobody can keep me in any prison. It becomes too hot, I move out and take another one." Then why are you going? You have already set—if you are not ready to close in the door, don't go. Because the truth is—let me tell you the truth that most people don't know. For every man who alternates marriage in their heart will always go for alternative. For every woman who alternates marriage in their heart will always go for alternative. Many times, they don't carefully seek the Lord because they know they will always alternate. For men who don't—for men or women who don't alternate marriage in their heart, Jacob at Jabbok, please don't forget that message. They make sure they take their bearing from the Lord. If you have forgotten that message of last month, please go and listen to it. They make sure that their bearing is from the Lord. It doesn't need somebody to teach you "know the Lord." You see where we read. They will be taught of God. They will seek the Lord. They are not here and there looking for how to have cooler ministry to corner down brother, or money ministry to tie down sister. They are not like that. They are concerned with God's will. And they enter at God's will. And they stay, this is God's will for my life. Whatever is inside is the will of God for me. And you will see them, they focus on their marriage. You will see them meek and lowly in heart. That is the heart of the master they learn. Nobody enters into marriage with the heart of Jesus—go and look at the heart of Jesus in Philippians. Look at Philippians chapter 2, the heart of Jesus. I like to read it in NLT. Philippians 2. Look at the heart of Jesus. I read NLT translation. It says, "Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic?" Are you seeing something about this place? Are your hearts tender and sympathetic? What is the heart of Jesus? Meek and lowly in heart. What did he say, verse 2? "Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and one purpose." Verse 3: "Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself." Verse 4: "Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing." Look at how the Message put that place. Verse 2: "Don't push yourself, your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead." If a man enters into marriage with this mind, what is it that will happen that will come to a breaking point in their relationship? I’m asking you young people. Something can happen from the part of the spouse, from the part of the wife, because you are seeking out to make her become the best she can become in life. You are seeking out to make him the best he can become in life. You have a clear understanding that God is still perfecting him as he is not perfect. You have that understanding that the Lord is perfecting her that she is not perfect. You have been called by God to come and perfect this person to what God wants the person to be. Does her failure, his failure, his shortcoming, his mistake, become the breaker of your life? You know, because people enter with a selfish heart. How they can sweet-talk themselves to the top. They want to show that they are better equipment than their spouse. They want to show that they are the better person, you are the person causing problem. They want to show that you are the one that has problem, I don't have problem. They want to—it's people who want to show that. But if people enter with the heart of Jesus that said, "Father, forgive him, he doesn't know what he's doing. Father, forgive her, she doesn't know what she's doing." People that you are killing and they are busy seeking your interest. You were killing Jesus and he went to hell to go and make gift and bring gift back to us. Eventually today we love him because he first loved us. But today everybody is looking for somebody to first love them before they love. What is the pattern that Jesus set for us? Is that anybody seeking to love so that consequently the other person will love? We love him because he first loved us. But that is not what people enter today with into marriage. People want to sit down and be served. The heart of service, the heart of privilege, the heart of taking, the heart of getting, the heart of receiving, when the Bible said it is more blessed to give than to receive. People have not followed the master, and suddenly want to enter into marriage and get it right in marriage. If you have not followed the master faithfully, you are not a marriage material. Go and check your heart. That is why we are having so much problem today. There is so much problem in marriages today. Too many problems. Let us talk to the Lord. Heart needed for marriage. Heart that is needed for marriage. Are you contemplating marriage at any time in the future? Are you thinking of going into marriage? Check your heart. Check your heart. Are you sure it's not the wicked heart? Are you sure it's not the heart of stone? Are you sure it is that heart that has been broken? Are you sure it is the meek heart? Are you sure it is the heart that is not seeking its own thing? That is not seeking to make impression on others? You would have been doing that as a Christian among other believers. Check your life. How have you been living with other believers? It will tell you how you will live with your spouse. It will tell you. Is it that you don't consider anything sacred? You are ever learning something but you are never agreeing with it. You have been learning about believers' behavior but in your own heart, "No, when I get there, it depends on how the person behaves." What is the kind of heart? You see, if the heart—once the heart already alternates, that marriage will be alternated. That is what I’ve come to find out. Which kind of heart are you carrying? Precious Father, we thank you for this time again with our singles. Those who are here with us physically and everyone who have joined us online on Telegram and on Mixlr. Lord, we are just praying. There is so much heat in marriage today. There is so much—a lot of sisters who have been wasted by brothers, and many brothers who have been short-circuited by sisters. A lot of things are just happening and confusion going here and there, and people are beginning to wonder, "What is the problem?" But Lord, you are trying to make us to see that it is because men don't first estimate the cost before they start building. They don't count the cost. We don't count the cost. We are too interested in the emotions, the euphoria, the cultural demand. "I am now 25, I am now 30, I want to marry." We are too concerned with what we want to have rather than the responsibility that you have placed in marriage. As a result, we have entered into marriage today occupied with what to get as against a place to die for the other to live. He who enters into marriage enters with the decision, "I must die so that the other person can live. I must decrease so that the other person can increase." This is the kind of heart we need in marriage. But Lord, the heart of many are not like your heart. They don't have the heart of the gospel. You died so that we can live. Many don't come—this heart has not been—is not there. We don't enter into this heart. We enter into ego, we enter into education, we enter into material prosperity. We enter into everything except the heart. Yet what you pointed to is that it is the matter of the heart. O Lord, we are praying, wake up your church. Lord, begin with our souls. Lord, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake us up from our slumber. Lord, that we may seek the Lord. In the name of Jesus. Lord, we pray for our young people that they get it right. We pray, Lord God Almighty, for our sons, for our daughters. Lord, we are begging you, may they get it right. Marriage is good. Marriage is not a place of death. Marriage is not a dark place. Marriage is a place of life. Marriage is a place of glory. Marriage is a place of honor. Only that we must die. Before a grain of wheat can multiply, it must first die. Before there can be multiplication, there must first be death. But Lord, we want to multiply without dying. People want to multiply without dying. They come against the mystery of marriage and they want to experience the mystery and the joy of marriage. O Lord, we are begging you, open the eyes of your people again. Open the eyes of our young men, of our young women. For many do not know the Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you, eternal Father. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. Let’s share the grace together. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forevermore. Amen. See you next month by the grace of God. Please don't come alone, invite someone. [Speaker 1] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission hit. Our regular activities are discipleship class every Monday, 5:00 PM; adolescent and singles club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; marriage forum, second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outrages, and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Very Joy filling station along Ije road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all.