Premarital Sex and Courtship (Practical Discussion)

[Speaker 1] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] About premarital sex and courtship. This December Singles Club is focused on practical and frank biblical response. And that is what we want to do this morning. What are some of the vital issues we need to consider as Christians about premarital sex and courtship, particularly from a biblical perspective? There are diverse perspectives to this matter, but as a faith-based ministry that is focused on promoting the ethics and the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ, our perspective is always the biblical perspective to this matter. And our challenge, first and foremost, is to anybody, anywhere, who is an acclaimed Christian, a believer, a follower of Jesus, and then by extension to anybody who wants to listen to the biblical perspective to this matter. We believe that for such a person, it will be a great blessing to listen to follow us and listen. So as we move on this morning, as we start this morning, I want us to have a word of prayer. Almighty God, we are grateful unto You. We thank You for Your love and for Your mercies. We thank You for Your grace. We thank You for Your goodness. We thank You for Your love. We thank You for all who You are. We thank You for all that You are. We say blessed be Your name in the name of Jesus Christ. Almighty God, as we fellowship together this morning, our brethren who are joining us on Mixlr, our brethren who are joining us on Telegram, our brethren who will be joining us, who are here physically, Lord our God, we pray that as we fellowship together this morning, Your Spirit will work within us, among us, in the name of Jesus Christ. Our Father, we pray that as we practically discuss together, O Lord our God, meet everyone where they need You most. For young people who are already in relationship, Lord, by the reason of this message, Lord, build Your church in the name of Jesus. For young people who are yet to be in a relationship, who are looking forward to one, Lord our God, we pray, we ask of You, Lord, speak to our hearts in the name of Jesus Christ. Our primary concern, O Lord, is as it is written in the Scripture, "I will build my church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it." Lord, we pray, build Your church in such a way that the gates of hell will not prevail. Against Your eternal plan and purpose, O Lord, for our young men, for our young women, Lord in the name of Jesus. Rather, Lord, our young men, our young women, they will not be cut down, they will not be cut short. Your purpose, O Lord, they will fulfill in life, O Lord, and they will be of great eternal relevance in the name of Jesus. Thank You, everlasting Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So we come together to our discussion this morning. What are some of the vital issues we need to consider about premarital sex and courtship? A biblical perspective, looking at very practical and frank answers. I would like to sectionalize our discussion this morning into about three parts. What I will first call the background, fundamental background. Then what I will also refer to as biblical wisdom. And then when we are through with that, we'll look at practical issues of this life. The first aspect, we'll look at the general background. The second aspect, we'll look at biblical wisdom. And then we'll now look at practical issues about this life, practical things to note for us as Christians. I pray that our young people will pick so much this morning. May the Lord minister to you, minister to even me, the speaker. Grant us that our life will be right. You see, the burden of this meeting this morning is just for our life to be right, our life to be correct. There is nothing like having a correct and right life. It surpasses the value of money, riches. Just think about it. Think about anything. It surpasses anything that is material. Living a correct life, living a life that is acceptable to both God and man, honestly, is the key. It's the fundamental. And I pray that you listening to me, that will be your testimony and your allotment in the name of Jesus. Now, the first part, the background matters. Now we want to look at what is premarital sex, what is courtship, and one or two things to note about that. Of course, premarital sex is not anything too difficult to define. It is just as the word pre-marital, before marriage. Sex before marriage. So it's just as simple as that. There is not much to say about that. Premarital sex is simply sex before marriage. Any form, and when I say sex before marriage, for those of you who followed us on sexual purity, the place of discernment that we looked at in August, September, October. In the month of November, we took a biblical example. Our brother John Damilar spoke with us on looking at the life of Amnon, taking example from his life. Amnon and Tamar, you remember that episode? How that young man wasted his life, abused his sister, particularly because of a wrong company in his own life. We looked at that last month. So if you have been following us on our earlier series from August, September, October, November, you will know that when we say sex, we are not just talking about intercourse. We are not just talking about penile penetration. No. When we are talking about sex, sexual intercourse, the biblical standpoint we use, if you remember, we use the word of our Lord Jesus Christ when He said, "He that looked at a woman lustfully has committed adultery with her." So we said sexual impurity is not only the physical act of intercourse. What goes on in the mind, defilement of the body, unnecessary touching, unnecessary physical contact, and all of those things that defile, that builds up sexual libido unnecessarily in premarital relationship. And then eventually, we talk about the sexual intercourse itself. We said all of this have to do with impurity. We have defined all of that before, so I will not be going back to all of that. I am only trying to say that when we say premarital sex, we are looking beyond just the English dictionary definition that says the act of penile penetration, sexual intercourse between a male and a female. But we are looking beyond all of that to all kinds of impure acts in the mind, body defilement, not only defilement of the soul, of the spirit, physical defilement, and all of that comes into our own definition of premarital sex. So people may not be having penile penetration, but they may be having premarital sex in their thoughts, in the things they do, in lustful emotions, defiled mind, impure thoughts, and all of that. These are things you need to note when we talk about sex. So and then, leaving the matter of premarital sex, courtship. What is the operational definition for courtship that we are talking about this morning? People look at courtship from different angles. The dictionary simply says a relationship to win the affection of the other. When two people are in a relationship and the focus is to win the affection of the other, you talk about courtship. But I want to give an operational definition to what I meant by courtship so that we can be on the same template. For premarital, I've given an operational definition for our discussion this morning. Any kind of things that is before marriage. Sex, I've given a working definition to mean not just penile penetration, the act of sexual intercourse, but all forms of soulish and bodily defilement in addition to that is what I mean by sex. And then courtship. What do I mean by courtship? The definition that I'm adopting for courtship this morning, our operational definition, is actually, I'm trying to separate what I'm focusing on this morning from all kinds of illicit relationships that you may call boy-friending, girl-friending, intimate sexual partners, sexual networking because of intimate relationship. I deliberately use the word courtship to separate what I'm referring to from all of that. Now, my courtship here, let me first say what I'm not referring to. I'm not referring to a relationship between opposite sex, a boy and a girl, a young man and a young woman, that is just between the two of them. That is not formally known to those that have authority over them. That's not what I'm referring to by courtship. Sometimes you find a young man and a young woman, they say they are in relationship. Relationship is just that the young man walked to the young woman or the young woman walked to the young man, "I love you, I want to marry you," and then, "Can we start something?" and then they start a relationship. That's not really what I'm referring to. I'm also not referring to a relationship between a young man and a young woman that the young woman says "I have prayed," the young man said "I have prayed," and then they make proposal one to the other and they start the relationship, and it is still between the two of them. That's not what I'm referring to for courtship. What I'm referring to by courtship in this definition is a relationship that is under authority, a relationship that is accountable, a relationship that comes with responsibility. What I mean by courtship here is a relationship where I'm taking two believers, Christians, followers of Jesus, where the young man, the young woman, they are persuaded that they should come into relationship that will lead to marriage. And in doing this, it is not a matter just between the two of them. They are under authority. Those who have authority over them—their pastors, their disciplers, their mentors, their parents—are involved in that relationship. They are all aware that these two people, they are in a relationship, and the purpose of that relationship is to lead to marriage. It is not something hidden. It is not something not accountable. It is something that comes with responsibility. That's what I mean. And normally, let me say this. As a Christian, if you are in a relationship that is not like this, it is not proper. To be in an intimate relationship in view of marriage and it is not a relationship that is accountable, it is something that is hidden from those that you are accountable to. For us as Christians, relationship that should lead to marriage is not a secret cult. It is something open to all. We can call the sister and ask about the brother. We can ask them, "How is the relationship going? How are you people doing?" It's something we are all aware of. When something is illicit, when something is hidden, when something is not known to all stakeholders, it is not something... The Bible says that the things of light—Ephesians chapter 5. Let us quickly see that together. Ephesians chapter 5. Look at what the Bible says about the things that are of light. Ephesians 5, I read from verse 8. It says, "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light." Walk. One time we were in darkness. We were not in the light. We walked as children of darkness. He said, "But now, walk as children of light." That is, if you have given your life to Jesus, if you have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light, if you say "Now I'm a believer, I'm a Christian, I've given my life to Christ, I have a personal work with Jesus," the Bible says we should no longer walk as children of darkness. Now having said that, look at what follows. "For the fruit of the Spirit"—or the fruit of the things of light—when we walk as children of light, the fruit of the Spirit, things that are done that are as a consequence of the Spirit of God in our life, things that are as a result of the influence of the Holy Spirit in our life. If actually what you are into in that relationship is something that is coming as a result of the influence of the Holy Spirit, it must have some fruit. What are the fruits? It said, "For the fruit of the Spirit, the fruit of the things of light, they are in all goodness, in all righteousness and truth, finding out what is acceptable to the Lord." It says, "And have no fellowship with unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret." Verse 13 that interests me: "But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light. Whatever makes manifest is light." Do you get that? Another translation: "But when the light comes on them, it becomes clear how evil things are." NLT: "But everything exposed by light becomes visible." Do you get what the Bible is trying to say? When things are done in secret, when things don't want to come to the open, then what is going on could be things that are shameful, could be things that should not be heard, should be things that you know it is not of the seed of light. The things of light are exposed. When something is right, when something is proper, when something is acceptable, it does not hide itself. So if you have a relationship that it is not known by all stakeholders, it is not known by all that are connected with you—your parents, your pastors, your disciplers, your brethren—it is just something between you and somebody, then there is a problem with that relationship. That's not what I'm referring to as courtship. That is illicit relationship. So courtship is that relationship that is a lead to marriage between two believers, two Christians, two people who are fellowshipping with Jesus, and it is accountable and responsible. That is, it is not hidden. It is something that went through the disciplers, the pastors, the parents, the mentors. It is very, very crucial to note that. And that is why, you remember when we were talking about discretion and sexual purity, once you want to enter into relationship with anybody, and that brother or that sister don't have accountable figure in their life, run from such people. They are not marriageable. Anybody who is not accountable to somebody is irresponsible. Believers live accountable lives no matter their status in life. As old as I am, I'm accountable to some people. But when you find somebody that nobody can vouch for, nobody can say, "Oh, I know him, I can speak for him," nobody can tell him, "This is wrong, you can't do it this way," please be careful about such people in marriage because in the day you want to talk to him, there will be nobody to talk to. And I'm telling you, there is no marriage that does not need somebody to talk to. The Bible says older couples should teach younger couples. The Bible says not forsaking the assembly of one another. So when you have somebody who says because he's so spiritual, he has forsaken the assembly, he's not accountable to anybody, he's not subject to anybody, nobody can vouch or speak for his life, those people they are not marriage materials. Don't ever come around such people. Christians live accountable and responsible life. I showed you in the Bible that it was God who established authority in creation. As far as God is concerned, there must be authority. The Son is subject to the Father. A man, the head of a man is Christ. The head of a woman is the man. And that does not connect to anything relationship, it connect to creation. God establishes authority and order. There is government. The Bible says, "The increase of the government shall be upon His shoulder." God has order. Anything that is in disorder is not of God. There is order in the things of God. There are authorities, there are figures. The Bible says He established in the church first the apostles, the prophets. There are authorities, there should be order. So when somebody is not subject to authority, even when you come to society, look at what the Bible says. It says "Let every soul be subject to government, for there is no authority but of God." So it's so crucial, it's so vital, it's so strong, that for us as Christians we must understand the place of order. Any man who will not come under authority is not a God-fearing person. So it's very, very crucial to note that. Now, so when I've come to define courtship, that's what led me into that. That courtship for Christians is not a relationship that is just between a boy and a girl. Never. It is a relationship that the two people involved, they have prayed, they are persuaded under God they are meant for each other. The matter was properly discussed with those that have authority over them. Having been discussed with those that have authority over them, relationship becomes formal. They start the relationship in view of marriage, and that relationship is accountable. There are authorities. That's what I mean by courtship. That's what is the example of a Christian courtship. A Christian courtship is not something that is out of authority. It's not something that is not accountable. It's not something where there's no responsibility. That needs to be noted, and that is our working definition this morning for what is courtship. Now, having taken time to talk about all of that, what the operational definitions are, still in the background, I want us to note something in the background. Still in the background, I want to say this because I said our focus this morning, like I said, please bear in mind, as Christians, what are vital issues to consider about premarital sex and courtship? This December Singles Club is focused on practical and frank biblical response. So the first frank thing I've said is trying to define what should be Christian courtship. That's what I've just done. And the next thing I also want to say, very frankly and very practically about Christian courtship, is what is the hallmark of Christian courtship? When we say courtship, and those involved in that courtship are Christians, what is the hallmark? How do we say, "Yes, the way these people are relating, the way they are carrying themselves about, this is a Christian courtship"? What is the hallmark of it? I want to call your attention to a very, very vital thing. We are going back again to that Ephesians chapter 5 that we read. Ephesians chapter 5 that we read, the hallmark of Christian courtship. I want to take the matter from verse 2. It says, let me maybe I should read from the verse 1, although the verse 1 should have been part of the chapter 4. "Therefore be ye imitators of God as dear children, and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma. But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as it is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, or unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no man deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them." What I want you to see in this place is that when it comes to relationship that will lead to marriage, there is a way the children of disobedience live, and there is a way the children who are not children of disobedience live. The Bible says, "Therefore do not be partakers with them." Who are these "them"? For you were once darkness, but now you are light. Walk as children of light. Let no man deceive you with empty words. For because of these things, the wrath of God comes upon sons of disobedience. Do not be partakers with them because you are no more "them". So you see, when it comes to courtship, there are courtships of children of disobedience and there is courtship of children of light. When it comes to "I have seen somebody I want to marry and we have prayed, we have discussed with those who have authority over us, they have prayed along with us, they know that we are in a relationship and now we are in that relationship," there is a dividing line. There are two categories of people. There are children of disobedience and there are children of light. So when it comes to the matter of courtship, the first hallmark is who are those in the courtship? Are they children of disobedience or they are children of light? In other words, as far as the Bible is concerned, courtship is run, courtship is handled, courtship is managed by two kinds of people. There are just two classes of people. It has nothing to do with educated or not educated. They attend church, Deeper Life or Baptist, or Anglican or Gospel Faith, or Methodist or Redeemed, or I don't know, call any name. That's not how you know them. You don't say, "We, we are Anglicans, when we are courting... this one, we are Believers LoveWorld, this is how we court. We, we are Redeemed, this is..." There is nothing like that. It is not by denomination. Then again, it is not by riches, rich, who is richer, who is not rich. It is not by any of these things. The two kinds of people that God sees are those who are children of disobedience and those who are children of light. And the dividing line between children of disobedience and children of obedience, if you want to put it that way, is that children of disobedience, they are children of darkness, while children of obedience, they are children of light. What makes one light, what makes one darkness, is what the Bible began to make us see from the verse 3 of Ephesians chapter 5. "But fornication..." What is fornication? Fornication is sexual relationship. Don't forget how we defined our own sexual relationship. Please don't forget our working definition. It is not just sexual intercourse. All kinds of defilement of the soul, all kinds of ungodly touching, ungodly physical contact. Because Jesus said, "He who look at a woman lustfully has committed adultery with her." So there are looks, there are things we do that are not necessarily intercourse, but they are actually fornication. They are actually adultery as far as our Lord Jesus is concerned because we are followers of Jesus. So lustful, lustful thinking, lustful touches, lustful things that have to do with lust, comes into fornication. And that is why you notice the Bible says, "Fornication and all uncleanness." Uncleanness in thoughts, in words. It says we should walk as dear children. We should walk in love. We should look at Christ and make Christ our example. However, but fornication, fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you as it is fitting for the saint. Now, one thing you need to see that the hallmark of Christian courtship and those that does not belong to Christian is what? Purity. Purity. Purity. When people are children of disobedience, when people are not children of light, when they are children of darkness, how do you know them? You know them by fornication. You know them by uncleanness. You know them by covetousness. You know them by filthiness. You know them by foolish talking. There are things we don't say as Christians. You know them by foolish talking or coarse joke. They say they are joking. Things that are unclean. You see it so much in secular music today. Many music that they sing, fuji music, reggae music, you hear some of these things that does not have their origin in God's Spirit. All kinds of things. You want to play with breasts, you want to touch buttocks, and they make it songs. They say they are jesting, say they are speaking. There are ways believers talk. There are things that are filthy things that we don't say. It says rather giving of thanks. It now says because you know that no fornicator... And please, I want us to get this right because many times, sometimes, there is a way we talk about some of these things. You see, there is a difference, let me say this. There is a difference between a brother that fell into fornication and a fornicator. There's a great difference and we must get that clear. If somebody is a Christian and for any reason, if he's actually a true Christian, and for any reason the person fell into sin, the way we will know that this person is a Christian is the action that immediately follows. A Christian don't cover sin. A Christian confesses sin. A Christian turn away from sin. A Christian don't continue in sin. You know what the Bible says? It says, "He that is born of God does not continue in sin." It says, "He cannot," not that he will not. You see when you take a fish out of water? The problem is this: a fish cannot stay outside water. Once you take it out of water, the fish begin to struggle, begin to struggle. Why? Because it want to go back into water. Its natural habitat is water, is to be inside water. But when you take maybe a tortoise, let me take a tortoise, out of water. A tortoise can go into water to lay egg or do something. He can swim in water. But when you take tortoise out of water, tortoise is not struggling because his habitat is not water. He can live conveniently outside water. Or maybe you take a crab. A crab too can be inside water, in water-logged area. But a crab can live successfully outside water. I'm trying to explain something about a Christian and falling into sin. Now, when a Christian fall into sin, it's like when you take a fish outside water. What does the fish begin to do? He begin to struggle to do what? To go back into water because he cannot stay outside water. It says, "He that is born of God cannot continue." He cannot, not that he will not. It's not a matter of will. It's a matter of cannot. He cannot. So when a Christian, when a Christian falls into sin, he cannot continue. He confesses the sin. He exposes the sin. He meet those that have authority over him or her and say, "Look, I have done this. Please help me. I need prayers. This is what I want to do. What is the punishment for what I have done? I can't be a worker and be doing this. I did this, it happened. This is how it happened. It was an error. It was not intended." What is he doing? He's doing everything to go back into water because he cannot stay outside water. He must return back to water because you see this thing is very, very important for you to know. Because you notice the next verse, it said don't let anybody deceive you with empty words. When people say that "No, you are a Christian, you sing, okay you are still managing, you sleep with the sister today, you say okay you are sorry, you sleep again tomorrow, you sleep next tomorrow, you say you are trying to get out of it, you are struggling with it, it's something you are struggling with..." Bro, Sis, you need to check whether you have the Spirit of Christ in you. Because there are all manners of things today that we see. There are all manners of things today in the name of Christianity. Don't let anybody deceive you with empty words. It must be clear. The dividing mark, the hallmark of "this is a Christian courtship," "this is not a Christian courtship," is what we are looking at now. Holy conduct. Holy conduct. Conduct that does not bring the wrath of God. He says, "For you know that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man who is an idolater has any inheritance in the kingdom of God, Christ and God. Let no man deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon sons of disobedience." So there is a wrath of God that is coming. So what is it coming upon? It's coming upon some kind of conduct. Conduct. So how do you know Christian courtship from a courtship which is not a Christian courtship? What I'm trying to make you see is that premarital sex is a dividing line. Once we begin to see sex before marriage, we are not dealing with Christians. We are dealing with unbelievers. Because people begin to discuss because there are a lot of things today. I was handling a case recently and these two people, they are both in a fellowship, a Christian fellowship so to say. And marriage has not been contracted. They have not been given out in marriage, but they are living together. And then by the time we begin to, you know, questions were asked, he said because the marriage is in view. That is not correct. It is not because people go to church that make them Christians. I want to beg you, please. It is not because people are workers, or because people speak in tongues. It is not because people are devout workers in a Christian gathering. That's not what make them Christians. What make people Christian or not Christian is conduct. Conduct. What they do with their lives. Conduct. What I mean by that is that justification is by faith. We become believers because we believe in what Christ have done. What Christ did on the cross is what saves us and it gives us eternal salvation. But the way we can know these people who have got in eternal salvation is the conduct that comes out of their life. If eternal salvation does not bring holy conduct, I beg your pardon, they never had eternal salvation. There must be conduct. Because he that is born of God cannot. A fish cannot stay outside water. He says, "I will make you fishers of men." When you get a fish and it's actually a fish, that fish cannot survive outside water. Someone who has eternal life cannot survive outside living in righteousness. There's a display of that godly living, that righteous conduct. The conduct must come out. When we were sinners, we were sinners. The conduct will come out. When you have eternal life, eternal life brings conduct. And that conduct is what we are talking about. That conduct is conduct that makes you different from the children of disobedience. It brings obedience. Obedience to what? The Lord Jesus made it clear. He said, "Why call Me 'Lord, Lord' and you don't do what I say?" He was speaking to the Jews who believe in him. Matthew chapter 7 from verse 21 downward. "Why call Me 'Lord, Lord' and you don't do what I say?" In John chapter 8, He repeated the same thing. He said, and Jesus as He was speaking these things, some Jews believed in Him. And Jesus spoke to the Jews who believed in Him. He said, "You are My disciples indeed if you continue in My words." You are My disciples indeed if you continue in My words. To those who believe in Him, He established that believing by a conduct. What is the conduct? They must continue. There must be a... an implication in conduct. That is John chapter 8 from verse 31. Look at what the Lord Jesus said there. John 8:31, to the Jews who believe in Him. Look at what Jesus said in that place. John 8:31. Then Jesus said to those Jews, let me take it from verse 30. "As He spoke these words, many believed in Him." You see, they believed in Him. And that is what give anybody eternal salvation. How do you get eternal salvation? By believing in Jesus. Nothing else should be done. Don't let anybody deceive you about that. How do you become saved? How do you get eternal salvation? Salvation is never by works. There is no work. I am not holy to be saved. No. I don't tell lie because I want to be saved. No. I don't fornicate because I want to be saved. No. That's not why I don't lie or don't fornicate. No, that's not the reason. I am saved, that is why I don't tell lie. I don't know whether you are understanding me at all. Hallelujah. I don't commit fornication because I am saved. I'm not living holy life to be saved. No, I have been saved by believing in Jesus. What I believe is by believing in Jesus. There is no work that saves. If anybody is telling you to do anything to be saved, that person is a deceiver, is a liar. Jesus has done it all for us. I am saved because I put my faith in the finished work of Jesus. That day when I came to Jesus, I remember then I was just 17 years old, and I said, "Jesus, come into my life. Be my Lord and my Savior." That day I got eternal life. That day I was eternally saved. Nothing else can be added. It's not about whether I attend church or I don't attend church, whether I'm Deeper Life or any. It has nothing to do with all of that. What it has to do with is that I have received Jesus and I'm saved. So when I'm talking about conduct, I'm not talking about to be saved. Anybody that is trying to obey one law to be saved does not understand salvation. Salvation is simply in Jesus. But what I'm saying is that where that salvation exists in a man, holy conduct is the sign. Holy conduct is the implication. Holy conduct does not come out. The truth is that that person was never saved. Once somebody was formerly children of disobedience and he become children of obedience, somebody was formerly a crab, and if anybody be in Christ he's a new creature, he become a fish. He become a fish. You are now telling me that he can still walk on land the way he was working before and be comfortable and convenient with it? That is a lie. That person never become a fish. It is still a crab. That's what I'm trying to say. The natural habitat of any man who has eternal life, what it begins to, he begin to, because I could remember then, even though we don't know so much because sanctification is progressive in life. The more you know God, the more you become separated unto Him. There were things then that we were doing but we never knew it was wrong. As we began to know God better and better, we were getting more and more separated unto God, more and more separated, more and more separated. So we... it's a progressive man. We keep progressing in that work, becoming more and more like Jesus in what we say, in what we do, in our conduct. But the truth is that once light comes, no matter how small the light, it displaces darkness. Am I correct? Yes. No matter how small the light. Once you receive eternal life, darkness must be displaced to some extent once light comes. As we now begin to walk in that light, as we begin to know Jesus better and better, the Bible says the light of the righteous is like a burning light that does what? That burns brighter and brighter. A progressive man is progressing, brighter and brighter and brighter unto what? Unto the perfect day. But if any man says he become upright and there is nothing getting brighter, he's rather going in ungodliness, in fornication, in immorality, and then you are saying that "actually he..." look, look, look, let nobody deceive you. You may be in church, you may not be in Christ. Mark my words. You may be in church, you may not be in Christ. You may be a devotee, you may not be in Christ. So when you talk about courtship, Christian courtship, I'm saying this because I've began to have encounter in recent time with so many young people as I move across Nigeria, as I counsel, you know, across the church of Nigeria. I begin to encounter what is going on. A new generation of young men and women today, but this hallmark is not there. So this is why I am saying this. That's the burden that brought this December Singles Club. It was as I encounter young people in the field and I begin to get more and more concerned. How could you get to this point? Look at this episode of encountering a young man, having a lady, a lady sat on a slap. And I was just trying to say, "Hello, are you not a stool or a chair that a lady should sit on your lap?" I said, "Look, this is not proper. If you want to sit, sit down." You know, if they had said, you know ordinarily, when the blind walk as blind, you don't, you are not, you don't detest them. You don't expect the blind man to walk like the sane man. Children of disobedience, when they are children of disobedience, because that is who they are, it is for us to pray. The Bible says we should not speak evil of any man. It's for us to pray for them to become saved. But when a man that sees enters, a man that sees is groping, is groping in... and then he's kicking away everything that you put on their way. You know you have to tell that man, "Come, what's your..." You have to discipline the person. But when somebody is blind and he's groping, and then hit on people, you don't get angry. Rather you guide the person on how to come to light. "Blind man, no, no, no." Then you guide the person. But if somebody that sees walks, hit this person, hit that person, and he's jesting, then you need to discipline the person that, "Look, don't walk disorderly." You see if that young man had said, "Daddy, leave us alone that day, we are enjoying ourselves. That is who we are," honestly I would have had no problem. All I would have said is that, "Young people, you need Jesus. There are better ways to live than this." It should have been trying to make them see a better way out. But you know what was annoying? What was provoking was the response that, "Ah, Daddy, you don't see it as you think. It's not as you think, Daddy. You see, we are spirit. We are spirit. Bible says that which is born of the spirit is spirit. That she's sitting on my lap, I know that you are thinking that maybe emotion or no, you see we are spirit." That was what brought my serious attention to that conversation. And I said, "Young man, what did you just say?" You said that which is born of the spirit is spirit. And I said, "Okay, if actually what you said is absolute and total, that as spirit, children of God, we don't have a soulish and an emotional dimension," I said, "Do you know that spirit, they don't marry?" I said, "You know spirit don't marry?" Do you know what Jesus said about the angels? He said they are neither male or female because they don't marry. I said, "Okay, in that your church, where they told you that you are spirit, if it is true, you people don't marry?" Then he was looking at me confused. I said, "Young man, don't let anybody deceive you. This conduct is not proper. Don't let anybody deceive you. You are being deceived." This conduct is improper. There are ways to know believers, people who are children of light and people who are children of darkness. There are no space for the for the lady to sit. You see, that's the burden behind this discussion this morning. Different encounter, different... I mean, I don't want to give too many occasions of encounter. In another case, he says, "You see, Daddy, we actually know what we are doing. Even though we are together in the house, we know what we are doing. We are Christians, we know what we are doing. We know what we are doing." What are you doing? You are in a... you are a male and a female, you are both students. You came on campus. Your parents sent you education. The brother, you that call yourself the brother, and you that call yourself the sister, this kind of arrangement that your parents are aware that the two of you are living together, you are the one going to the market to buy... you are not a wife. I said these are conducts we should find among unbelievers, and then we want to correct their conduct. I remember an occasion like that when such statement was... this another occasion again. And I said, "So you mean that you people have not slept together?" He said, "It hardly happens. It hardly happens." So when it happens once, what is that? It is still holiness. You see, young man, young woman listening to me, I'm pleading with you. I'm pleading with you. We did not learn Christ this way. The Bible says, "Let your light so shine that men may see it." You see, let me tell you something. A godly conduct that men, unbelievers, cannot see is not shining enough. The standard of Jesus, because you are a follower of Jesus, is that "Let your light shine so that they can see it." It is not God that need your light. Because I met some of young people, they will say, "Daddy, my faith is in my heart." I don't doubt that, your faith is in your heart. But please, men cannot see that faith inside your heart. What they want to see is your light. What they want to see is your conduct. And the command of Jesus is that "Let your light shine so that they can see it." Whatever sacrifice, whatever thing you can do, whatever thing you can do so that children of darkness can see that look, look at this, look at how their life is different. Look at how their conduct is. They want to be able to see different conduct. When the conduct is the same, then what... why do you call one light and the other one darkness? These are practical things to discuss. I'm not speaking in respect of a denomination. I'm not talking in respect of... no, I'm talking about godly conduct. I was speaking with one young man one day. We were to buy soft drink. I think I said he should get me... was it soda water or something? He too want to drink coke. And as we're trying to get, we couldn't get in one immediate place we were. So we now had to walk down. When we got to a point, it was a restaurant. In that restaurant, people were outside drinking alcoholic drink, some with girls, they just different things seated like that, and they were paraded and they were selling. And the young man said, "Daddy, let's cross and let's go and buy it in that place." And I said no, don't let us go that way. He said, "Is there anything wrong?" I said no, there's nothing actually wrong. Nothing is wrong. We can go there to buy. I said, "But you see, by the time we enter into that place and we are busy buying coke, it takes time for an ordinary person to differentiate us from those who are doing what they are doing in this place. Let us still move further. We may get where we can buy and it's not in this kind of setting." Of course, entering that setting to buy, there's nothing wrong with it. But we're talking about deliberately trying to make your light shine. Deliberately trying not to make your light send double signs. But the one that we are talking about now is even about something fundamental: premarital sex, fornication, immorality. There is no denomination that does not say premarital sex is wrong, except it's not a Christian denomination. I don't think there is any denomination, as far as I know, in Christian faith in Nigeria, that says young people commit fornication as part of the faith. There is no one. And so, please young men and young woman, the serious hallmark of Christian courtship and non-unbeliever's courtship, children of light, children of darkness, is conduct. Holy conduct. Holy conduct. What is this holy conduct? A conduct where there is no fornication. Conduct where there is no uncleanness. Conducting yourself outside all of this is the hallmark. When we see courtship where these things are, the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 5 that we read, the Bible encourages us to see something very important. The Bible says that do you not be partakers with them. Don't be partakers. For you were once darkness, but now you are light. Walk as children of light. So please, I want to beg you, wherever you are listening to me, if you are actually a child of light, don't be partakers of any form of fornication. Don't be a partaker. Don't partake because we are not darkness, we are now light. Now, having said that at the background, please technicals be checking our Telegram page. If there are questions, please brethren online, if there are questions, send your question to our Telegram page or to our WhatsApp page or to our Mixlr page. If there are questions, please send in your questions, we will answer them. I've told you it's frank practical discussion. If there are issues you want to raise, if there are exceptions you want to raise, please raise your question, let us interact together. And if you want to send the voice note or whatever, send it to the WhatsApp page, we will listen, we will respond back to them anytime from 11:30, we'll start taking those questions. I've asked the technicals if there are questions at 11:30 we will treat them. Please if there are questions, please ask questions. Don't let anybody deceive us. A lot of deception are going on. A lot of deception are going on. And the more I encounter young people today, I become more concerned, I become more concerned. And that is why we are interacting like this and we are talking very practically and basically like this. For particularly for those of us who are children of light, let us live as children of light. Let us be salt of this earth. Like I said in our discipleship class on Monday, you don't need holiness in heaven. Holy conduct is not needed in heaven. Are you with me? Holy conduct is not in heaven that we need it. Because the day you accepted Christ, you became holy before God. Christ make you unblameable because of God. So He already know who you are. Your state, you are an accepted person with God. So you don't need... you are not trying to be holy to God. But there are things about this life when God did that for you, God did it because He wanted something in this life, in this present life. The Bible says the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, living godly, soberly and holy in this present life. So when people say that grace is God's riches at Christ's expense, I said no. Why that is true, that's from a perspective. From a perspective, that's true. God riches as Christ's expense. Yes, we got the riches of God through Christ. That is true. But more importantly, that riches that we got, that grace that we got, is so that we can say "no" to worldly lust. We can say "no" to ungodliness. He said He teaches us to say "no". When you see immorality, you say "no". Fornication, you say "no". Ungodly conduct, you say "no". He teaches you to say "no" so that we can live soberly, godly in this present life. So grace is that working of God in us to make us live soberly, godly in this present world. So if anybody cannot live godly, soberly, holy in this present world, the person has not encountered grace. The person may be a spiritual bastard. Please get these things right. Wherever you are, please wherever you are, get these things right. There is so much... there is so much happening today, particularly among our young people, and it's giving us a lot of concern, it's giving us a lot of concern. Because gradually, the Lord is... the Lord is... you know, we have moved... we have moved to the second stage of life. By the time we enter second stage of life, we'll be ending the third stage of life, if the Lord so permit. I'm talking of gradually our own generation is coming, moving on towards its climax. You are the ones to replace us. You are the ones to replace us. And if grace cannot produce a different people in the land, then there is something wrong. Please let no man deceive you. Having said that, basically, frankly and practically, I want to say this also: biblical wisdom. Biblical wisdom. The second phase of our discussion. Please there are questions, the first phase is the most fundamental phase in our discussion today. If you have a question, please ask your question. The second phase to this thing is the biblical wisdom. And when I say biblical wisdom, you see, I want you to see something in the book of 1st Corinthians. 1st Corinthians, I want us to see chapter 8 thereof now, so that it can help us to to get some some things very clear about the place of liberty, knowledge, and that. Look at 1st Corinthians chapter 8, not chapter 6. 1st Corinthians chapter 8. It say, "Now concerning things offered to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. But if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him." You get what the Bible is saying in that place? The peak of knowledge. The peak. When knowledge comes to the peak, when you really... when you really come to know, when knowledge comes with arrogance, you still don't have knowledge. Are you understanding me at all? Hallelujah. When knowledge comes with arrogance, you still don't have knowledge. Hear what it says again. It says, "Now concerning things offered to idols, we know we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. If anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. But if anyone loves, that one... if anyone loves God, that one is known by Him." Which means that when knowledge begin to enter real knowledge, knowledge subjugate itself to love. We no more walk by knowledge, we walk by love because love is God. That is simple when the Bible says, "Now abideth faith, hope and love, the greatest of all is love." When knowledge comes to the peak, when knowledge begin to enter its ultimate, you begin to see that the greatest is not faith, the greatest is not hope, the greatest is love. We begin to walk in love. But when you begin to see people taking faith to extremes, because you know faith comes as a result of knowledge. It says, "Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God." When knowledge begin to come and faith begin to rise, begin to rise in us, when faith begin to come into encounter knowledge and that knowledge begin to enter into the place of real knowledge, faith will realize that it's not the ultimate, that love is the ultimate. That's what the Bible is saying. That's what the Bible is saying. Do you know why I said this in the background? It's because the Bible also says something. It says, "All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful." I'm coming to the wisdom of God. The wisdom of God. And this is what I want us to understand. You see, in my encounter again with a lot of young people, I realize this. Technicals, please it's 11:30, if there are questions you let me know. Now, in my encounter again with a lot of young people, I realize that there are cases of actual act of sexual intercourse between two acclaimed Christians. And then by the time you begin to engage them, how do I know that they are Christians? Because they did not cover sin. They ran, they came confessing, "Daddy, hey! Hey! It has happened! It has happened!" What happened? Then they confess what happened. And and then we say "Wow." That is what I want to deal with next: biblical wisdom. You see, I want to make you know something. Premarital intercourse in courtship don't just happen. Premarital intercourse in courtship don't just happen. A lot of things will have been compromised. A lot of things that are not helpful had been done. Not everything is helpful. One thing you must appreciate and I want you to know is that... I just remembered something. I wanted to say our God is the God of sex actually. But as I wanted to say that, I remembered something. You know what I remembered? As we deal with those young people that are married, you know we have our young... our marriage mentors club where we we mentor where we are mentoring a lot of our people we discipled here and there or that went through our premarital counseling as a ministry and they want to be under us. So we have a club where we meet once or twice yearly just to refresh ourselves again about our basic Christian teaching about what Christian marriage ought to be and all of that. Now, some of the challenges we face, questions that come in such meeting or when we counsel with people when we are called to churches to minister. Do you know one funny thing? Before people get married, we are telling them, "Do everything to be pure. Don't go into premarital sex. Avoid it, you don't need it." But do you know one thing? After people get married, many married people today we are telling them, "What happened to your sexual life?" Because the husband is saying the wife is not available, or the wife is saying "I'm tired, I'm not interested," or the wife is available, the husband is saying "I'm not interested." We are now begging those who are married again to please, remember that the sexual altar is a very important altar. Sex is of God, don't throw it away. What am I trying to say? Before people enter into marriage, it looks like if they have not have sex, the relationship is not on. And now when they now enter into marriage, the intimacy that they ought to now sustain, they don't sustain it. In marriage sex intimacy and sex dies. Before marriage it seems to be alive. It looks like "Ah, I've not touched you today, I've not pecked you today, I've not smooched you today, I've not kissed you today." It looks like "Ah, the whole thing is us, we can..." And when they enter, it looks like everything just dies. You know the reason why I'm saying this? Young man, young woman, the Bible says, "Guide your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." Number two, the Bible says, "Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by what? Renewing your mind." Many premarital sex that happened and for those who are truly genuine and they repented, what led to it was not being wise. What led to it was taking a lot of things for granted. What led to it was thinking that they have knowledge, but knowledge is puffed up. They were not walking in love. They were not working in God. You need to appreciate, I could remember instances where people will say, "Sir, we don't know how it happened. We never intended that it should happen, but it happened." I could remember one typical case like that. They started a relationship and it was going well. It was because sexual intercourse happened between the brother and the sister, that was what scattered the relationship. They never got married. The sister today is married to somebody else, the brother is married to somebody else. The sister could not bring herself to forgive herself. The brother could not bring himself to forgive himself. He just could not... they just could not bring themselves to accept themselves again because of that. One thing you must know is that God designed sex for marriage. When it comes before marriage, it is not an expression of love. The Bible says those who do it, they lack understanding. One thing you must know is that those who do it lack understanding. They lack understanding. Now what is it that I want you to see? Practical wisdom. All things are lawful, not all things are helpful. What is it that I want you to see? Look at what the Bible says in Proverbs. Look at Proverbs chapter 6. Look at what the Bible says about sex, premarital sex and all of that. It says, "Will a man take fire and not be burned? So is he that goes unto his neighbor's wife. Will a man walk on on coal and his body and he does not experience the burning?" He said it's not possible. He said because it is a fire. Sorry, chapter 6, not 5. Chapter 6 not 5. I want to read from verse 23. "For the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light. Reproof of connection are the ways of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattery tongue of the seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart. Do not let her allure you with her eyelid. For by means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread, and an adulteress will hunt for precious soul. Can a man take fire to his bosom and his clothes be not burned? Can one walk on hot coal and his feet will not be scared? So is he that goes into his neighbor's wife, whichever touches her shall not be innocent." What am I trying to make you see? The Bible described sexual sin as a fire. He described it as something that burns. What am I trying to make you see about that? Is this. You see, fornication, all of this thing that happen among young people today, it happen because we don't realize that sexual desire is like a fire. It's like a fire that you must not... if you give... it's like, let me give a good example. Somebody put a bottle of coke inside the fridge and the person is praying that the bottle will not be cold. What is the best way not to make the bottle to be cold? Is not to put it inside the fridge. You can't put a bottle of coke inside the fridge and then you are trusting God that it will not be cold. No. You see what I'm saying is this. You must understand that if you must not go into any form of impurity, there are things that are not necessary they are not necessarily wrong, but they are things you must avoid because sexual desire is like a fire. Once you fan it, it will burn. So what the Bible is saying is that you must be wise enough not to fan something. And one major thing that fan sexual desire is seclusion. When you... you know, seclusion. Sexual desire in people does not take place until you put yourself up in a place where it is just the two of you. Again, sexual desire is like a fire. What must you note? You must deliberately and consciously avoid actions, avoid words that flames people's passion. You must remember that even though you are Christians, you still live inside this body. And this body, you must understand, is sexual. It is the way God... the chemical process in your body, if you stir them up, your spirit will not be able to control it. No matter how spiritual you are, if you stir up your emotions, you'll not be able to hold back your emotions. So as Christians, you... that's what we call uncleanness. Avoid actions in form of play, in form of taking each other for granted, in form... if you are in courtship, I tell people as much as possible, when you get into marriage, you will build all kinds of intimacy. But before you get into marriage, be careful how you build intimacy because our sexual desire is connected with intimacy. When people ought to now deliberately build intimacy when they get married, they will not build it. But when they ought to step down, you know deliberately step down certain things because you are not married, so that you don't build overwhelming intimacy that that could flame up your passion for sexual desire. That's why sometimes you see people commit fornication and yet when they get married, their sexual life is is not balanced. So you begin to ask, what is the problem? The problem is lack of discipline before they got married. Because if sex is something so much that you continue, why it then should have been so strong too in their marriage? There are thousands of people who have premarital sex before they go into marriage, and when they enter into marriage, their sexual life is in disarray. So the point I'm making to you there, when you are in courtship, be careful how you handle intimacy. Be careful how you handle intimacy. Don't build... set limits for yourself. Set limits. Put boundaries. Set boundaries of what you should not do. And one major thing I tell young people, as much as possible, set boundaries for physical contact. Physical contact. Not because physical contact is necessarily wrong. Some physical contact are not wrong. But setting boundary as much as possible for physical contact helps you to maintain purity. Helps you to walk as light, as children of light, while you are in your courtship. Remember, sexual passion is a fire. Remember, you cannot play around it, you cannot walk on coal, you cannot put it under bosom and you will not be burned. It's a fire. Avoid, avoid, avoid putting kerosene around your relationship. Avoid petrols, a lot of things tear you up. Those things deliberately put them down. When you enter into your marriage, then begin to bring those things up because, look, you need to build a lifelong intimacy. And many times you find people in marriage we begin to teach them how to build intimacy. Whereas these are people who before they married have done all kinds of immoral things. So this is why I'm saying something this morning. As much as possible, remember the biblical wisdom. We are sexual beings. If you stir up your emotions, you will find yourself in a mess. Whatever can build up your emotions, whatever can build it, please step them down. Be wise. Be wise. Be very, very wise in your courtship. Why am I saying be wise in your courtship? It's because you know some people... there are three, four cases that I handled like that. That's why I want to say this. You know before people start courtship, one discipline some sisters and some brothers have put in place is that they don't relate intimately with anybody. They don't relate closely, they don't relate, they don't play with their emotions at all. So they were able to stay safe and they have lived all their life pure. But you know when you start courtship, it's a different ball game. In courtship, you need to relate somehow, a little more intimately with this person you are courting with than other sisters or other brothers. So now, the challenge of some young people is that when it now comes to "how do we relate?" that is where they don't set boundaries. That is where they don't they don't put it right. Some people made their Waterloo when they started courtship. All the while they have been living well. But when they entered into courtship, they made their Waterloo. That was when they made their costly mistake. And what is this costly mistake? They make three provision. One, place provision for sin. Immorality cannot take place until you provide a convenient place. That convenient place is when there is seclusion. They make place provision. So be wise, don't make... when you are courting, still remember you still bear your father's name. Sister, you still bear your father's name. Brother, you still bear your father's name. Marriage ceremony has not taken place. Still think, "I am..." remind yourself of who you are. And avoid seclusion. Don't give... make place provision for it. Number two, time provision. Some people fan themselves because whenever they want to meet, they don't set goals and objective for their meetings. So, you know, an idle time becomes a devil time, becomes evil time. If you must meet, if there are things that must be done, have goals in mind. Have what you want to do. And when you are through with what you want to do, let everybody do what they want to do. And if you are always somebody... you know who knows that look, the best... you know we are sexual beings. If there is even if there's a spirit of fornication jump on the two of you, if where you always take time to meet is not a secluded place, you'll not be able to do anything because you'll be looking for a secluded place. And before you look for a secluded place, whatever your your mind... your number six would have woken up that "come, why are we leaving this place to go and lock up ourselves somewhere?" But if you've already locked up yourself somewhere, till you will get to the end of the matter, you will not know... you know your number six may not may not may not wake up. Help yourself. Do things place things around yourself that can keep you holy. That's what I meant by "do things that are helpful". Help yourself while you are in courtship. Don't create time provision. Number three, thought provision. Be careful about your thought life. Be careful about your thought life. The kind of things you begin to think while you are still courting. As a man thinketh, so he is. Towards one another, pure thought, godly thought. Still remembering, "This is... this is courtship. This is my brother. This is my sister. And we must treat ourselves with all purity." All purity. You know, you think godly thought. Don't begin to think, "This is my wife, I can do anything with her. After all she's my own now." So, you see, the way you think, help yourself by the way you think. This is a child of God I must not defile. This is a child of God I must protect from becoming unholy. I must not be the means by which my... she will fall or he will fall. And you see when you put all godly thought... learn to be godly in your thought. It goes a long way to help you. Practical things of this life. The last thing I'm concluding with. Technicals, please it's 11:30, if there are questions you let me know. Okay. The last thing I'm concluding with. That's a very... just a very, very short one. Practical things of this life. You see, we have seen all kinds of things today, and I want to encourage you, young people. I'll just be giving different things that we have seen. We have seen that when people, even where there is no sex, but people do something to themselves and those things were not pure, uncleanness. We have seen that when later these people marry, the sister don't trust the brother with other sisters. They are now married, but as a sister, she could not trust she could not trust her husband. The husband too could not trust the wife. And when we when we research into it, we got to know that the root of it was that, "You see when we were courting, he did this, if not that I stopped him, if not that..." so the way he's relating with this sister, my mind is not settled because he did it then when we were courting. So we noticed that it brings trust problem. Be careful. Practical things of this life that we have seen in counseling section. It affects trust. Why the act of fornication... fornication itself also affects trust. We have seen cases like that. The brother keep believing that the sister is relating with one of his ex, his former her former ex. And by the time we begin to check, he said, "Look, sir, see the point is this, this is what happened. Then when we were courting, they did not make they did not even report themselves to the assembly. But now it becomes... she said when we wanted to even report it, she was the one that said we should cover the thing and we did not mention it." So if she could cover it then, I believe that he and that there's something going on. She know how to cover things. And the brother was making reference to how she covered their case. You see, let me tell you, your sin will find you out. They thought they have done it and they have gone away with it, but now it's affecting the stability of their marriage. There is even one in which the man went... this one now they are not believers, they are unbelievers. The man even went and remarried on the ground that he slept with his wife before they married, some things happened, the wife did not allow them to tell it to the church they attend. And so he noticed that the wife was having a movement with somebody, and he believed that they must have been having sex because he believed from what has happened to them. Today they are not together. The man has remarried somebody else. You see what I'm trying to make you see is that the word... the way of God is the way of peace. When you have been able to carry yourself with purity while you are courting, you are setting a good foundation for your marriage. There will not be, "Ah, this brother, my husband is getting too close to this sister. That is how he did with me then, when he was pressing my breast when we were courting. This one that they are always together, I hope he will not be..." No, all kinds of things will start jumping through your head as a sister, because you did it in your courtship. And your brother too will jump into your head because you did it in your courtship. Practical things of this life that we have seen. There are cases today that we are still handling. The marriage has gone for 6, 7 years. They still have not been able to trust themselves. They are still making reference to what happened before they got married. So brother, secure your future. Be pure in your courtship. Sister, secure your future. Your integrity. Secure your integrity. Secure your pride. Secure your value so that you are not valueless. Practical things of this life. These are things that we have seen. These are things that we have seen. There's another case like that that we have seen. This one have consequences. They slept together like that in view of the marriage... the marriage will soon take place. There's already, of course, they planned the marriage, the wedding card is out. They slept with themselves. The sister became pregnant by the reason of that fornication. When when it happened, the brother wanted the the so-called brother wanted the sister, you know, to find a solution to it. He doesn't want her to... that's why I said sometimes you wonder whether you're dealing with brothers or you're dealing with Christians or non-Christians. So that it should not just be known. It became a matter between the two of them. They dragged it forth and back, forth and back, and forth and back, and forth and back, eventually because the sister will not want to do anything funny about the pregnancy when she discovered she missed her period. That was what eventually led to their disengaging from one another. The brother says the the so-called brother said the sister has not been wise and not been smart. So you you just begin to wonder. So are we dealing with believers in such situation? But these are things we find with people inside the church. And that's why sometimes I wonder those inside the church, are they disciples or they are crowd? You better be wise. I pray you will not fall into a wrong hand. I pray you will not get a wrong person. But honestly, a lot of things are happening around us today. Premarital sex and courtship. Let us fear God. Let us go the way of God. For the way of God is the way of peace. Wherever you are listening to me, I pray peace to you. Peace to your life. Peace to your future. May the God of peace bless us with peace in the name of Jesus Christ. Just have a word of prayer as we close today. Let us close today. Our Father, we thank You for this afternoon. We bless Your holy name. We give You glory, we give You honor, we give You adoration. We appreciate You, O Lord our God, for this time again, this practical session with our young people. Lord, we just pray. Lord, Lord, Lord, order our steps in Your will. Particularly our younger generation, order their steps in Your will. They will not miss their steps, they will not miss Your way in the name of Jesus Christ. For that person out there hearing me who is not yet a Christian, Lord I pray, let this word draw that person to Christ in the name of Jesus Christ. For that person who is a believer, O God, but lacking discernment, O I pray, may you receive understanding in the name of Jesus Christ. Everywhere there is disorder in courtship, may this word bring order in the name of Jesus. Thank You, eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. [Speaker 3] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development and mission aid. Our regular activities are discipleship class every Monday 5:00 PM, adolescents and singles club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, marriage forum second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, family life seminars, regular school outrages and everyday counseling. For further counseling you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Verajoy filling station, along Ijaiye Road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 080-3386-1136, 070-3361-3848. God bless you all.