Prioritizing and Treasuring Your Togetherness

[Music playing] [Jingle Intro] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. We thank our God again for another edition of our monthly marriage forum that usually holds second Saturday of every month. We thank God for the privilege of life. We thank him for how we started since January. And now we are talking of the eleventh month of the year. To him be all the glory in the name of Jesus Christ. As we gather together again today for the forum, I trust the Lord that he will meet with each and every one of us in our different ways, in our different situations in the name of Jesus Christ. For the month of October, September, and August, we took time to look at third parties, third party in marriage. And we concluded that theme in the month of October when we look at the critical trial in marriage as third party. And today, we are moving on to looking at another topic that I titled, "Prioritizing and Treasuring Your Togetherness." Prioritizing, making it a priority. Treasuring, seriously valuing it. Your togetherness, your marriage, your home. And for those of us who may for one reason or the other did not see what was sent out yesterday, I said, "Prioritizing and Treasuring Your Togetherness" is the burden of today's meeting. Marriage is such a unique and exceptional relationship that worth putting all effort into in order to make it gracious, peaceful, and blissful. Marriage is such a wonderful relationship that worth that. Putting everything into it to make it gracious, full of grace, full of life, the presence of God, the joy of God in the home. Making it peaceful and making it blissful. A place of blessings, a place of increase, a place of expansion and enlargement. This is how the Almighty Divine Mind, that is God, that is how God designed it. But we often think otherwise and that is one major challenge today. We often think otherwise about this. We often don't notice it. We often don't lay acts to it. And I noted further that just as the Lord told Saul when Saul was busy attacking the church, doing everything he could for the church not to expand, the Lord Jesus appeared to him and told him that it is dangerous and it will turn out badly for you to keep kicking against his purpose. The same way I noted that it is dangerous and it will turn out badly for you if you keep kicking against this divine mind, this divine design. And that is why we are gathering this morning to look at prioritizing and treasuring your relationship, your togetherness. Why should you do so? Why is it so crucial? Why is it so important to do so are the things we intend to consider. And I trust the Lord that as we do, it should be a time of blessing, a time of glory, a time of abundance for us all in the name of Jesus Christ. So let us have a word of prayer. Let us pray so that we can move to looking at the topic together. Our Father, we thank you for this morning. We give you glory, we give you praise, we give you honor, we give you adoration. We thank you for all who you are and all that you are to us. We thank you for adoption, we thank you for redemption, we thank you for justification. We thank you for bringing us into the family of God. We thank you Our Father that we could become sons and daughters of God and that we have this spirit of adoption by which we can cry Abba Father. Lord, we thank you for all of these privileges. Our Father, as we gather this morning to look again at your word as we look around the topic, prioritizing and treasuring our togetherness. Lord, I pray that you will meet with each and every one of us. Our brethren who are connecting with us on Telegram, our brethren who are connecting with us on Mixlr. Lord, I pray you will meet with every one of us. It will be a time of refreshment, a time of instruction, a time of encounter. Oh Lord our God, this is our prayer in the name of Jesus. Hear us also Lord out of the abundance of your mercy. Attend to our gathering this morning. Lord, every man that need to hear this today, cause them one way or the other to gather with us. Thank you Eternal Father in Jesus' most holy name we pray. Amen. Prioritizing and treasuring your togetherness, which is your marital togetherness, your marriage togetherness. Prioritizing and treasuring it. That is our focus today. And when we look at the topic, prioritizing simply means making it a priority, making something important, giving serious importance to something. It's talking about the importance that goes with your togetherness with your spouse. Treasuring talks about the value you attach to it. That there is need to give precedence, importance, and great value to your togetherness. I want to look at some of the reasons why we should do so. What are the reasons why we should be prioritizing it? Why must we be giving importance and value to our togetherness? Why should we be doing so and possibly explaining how we can be doing so? Much more the more, my concern this morning is why? Why is it important today for us to have a rethink about our attitude towards the sanctity of marriage? The sanctity of marriage over time is losing its place even among us in the community of those of us that call ourselves believers. And we are seeing all kinds of things happening among us today. And it looks to me that it is because we don't truly see the divine mind about our togetherness. And because we don't really understand it, the sanctity of marriage is not something we give its place in our attitude, in our behavior. Attitude brings behavior. So the kind of attitude we have towards the sanctity of marriage brings behavior that shows serious disregard for what God intended it to be and by projection a serious disregard for God. And that is what we are trying to look at this morning. And I want to say that looking at why, I will split it into section A and section B. And try to look at possibly two or three points in section A, similarly two to three points in section B before our time expires or is exhausted. So as we come together, let me quickly also say this because one or two persons may just be joining the community today or you are just linking with us for the first time. If you are doing so, we want you to know that there is opportunity to ask questions. If you have questions, there is opportunity to ask the question. If you're on our WhatsApp page, you can put your question there. If you are not on our WhatsApp group, then you can put it on the Telegram group where you are listening, on the Telegram page where you are listening to the program. And if that is not also possible, if you're on Mixlr, you can also put your question there. Whichever way the question, in whichever platform it is placed, it will definitely get to us and we will attend to the question. We normally start attending to questions by 11:30. So when it is 11:30, once if there are questions about marriage or questions about what we are discussing now, or what we have discussed even before and you have one or two questions about it, please let the question come in before 11:30. So that by 11:30, we ask the technicals for questions and then we can attend to those questions. So our focus is giving importance and value to marriage, giving importance and value to marriage, to your togetherness. And the togetherness I'm talking about here is first and foremost the togetherness between a man and his wife. Once that togetherness is the way it should be, togetherness with the children becomes a walkover. But once the togetherness between a man and his wife is not the way it should be, then togetherness with other members, I mean the children, becomes a very difficult thing. Because it's just like the saying, when two elephants fight, it is the grass that bears the brunt. So the impact of your togetherness not being gracious, not being peaceful, and not being blissful, while you be the first partaker of it, the effect it will also affect the children. So my concern is about the key players this morning, you and your spouse. Giving importance and great value to your togetherness that makes you want to do everything to make it gracious, peaceful, and blissful. I said I'll be looking at why. Why should we do everything? Why should we do all we can to make it peaceful, to make it gracious, to make it blissful, to make it peaceful, to make it blissful? Why should we do all we can? That's our focus this morning. And I'm going to divide that like I said into two sections. Section A, I'll be looking at it in respect of the divine mind. Then section B, I'll be looking at it in respect of our human life. I mean our this human life. In respect of this human life and many times we don't even look at that very well. And so we want to bring these things to the fore. Let's see one or two things we can discuss about this and then we will close for today. Now, in respect of the divine mind, like it's in respect of God, in respect of eternity. Do you realize in respect of God that when you don't give importance and value to the sanctity of marriage, number one, it is a sign that it is either you are not born again and if you are born again you don't know God. In respect of God, we're looking at the first thing. The first thing is that when you don't give priority, when you don't treasure your togetherness, when you don't give serious priority to it, when you disregard the sanctity of marriage, it is a sign in respect of eternity, in respect of God, that it is possible that it is either you have not encountered God in a personal way, that is you are not born again because Jesus said, as it says in John 3:3, except a man be born again, except a man have an encounter, except a man is born, he cannot see the kingdom of God. You are not seeing that kingdom. You are not a part of that kingdom. You are not waiting for that kingdom. You don't have, like Peter told Simon the sorcerer in Acts 8:21, he said you don't have a part or a lot in this matter. It is an indication that that person who is doing that does not have a part or a lot in the kingdom of God. The other possibility is that if the person actually at some point in time became born again, then what could be happening is that the person is not knowing the Lord. Because it is one thing to be born again, it's another thing to grow. The scripture says in 1 Peter 2:2, that therefore as newborn babies, desire the pure spiritual milk that you may grow up. When a child is born and the child is not growing, when a child is first given birth to there is joy. There is great joy. People will be rejoicing. But if after six months the child there is no change at all, the child is just the way the child was born. There are no changes. It starts becoming an anxiety. If after one year it is just still that same way the child is born, then it's become a prayer point. It is no more a thing of joy. It has become a burden. Something to begin to spend and waste resources upon either for medical intervention, surgical intervention, or spiritual intervention. There will be all kinds of intervention because ordinarily when the child is born, the next thing is that there should be growth. Once the growth is not coming and the child is just the way the child is, six months, seven months, eight months, one year, the joy of having the child is gone. The child has become a burden, a worrisome phenomenon, a thing to be bothered about. That is the situation of some people. So when you notice in your attitude towards your togetherness, your togetherness with your spouse, you are not somebody who greatly treasures it, you are not somebody who greatly value that togetherness. The indication towards God, the indication towards eternity, the indication towards the divine mind is that it is either you are not born again or you don't know the Lord. I noted something this morning when I was partly preparing for this message. I want to quickly read that. I said, as we all await the hope of eternal life, as we are all here, the Bible says in 1 John 3:3, he that has this hope in himself purifies himself even as Jesus is pure. So as we all await that hope, living our life with eternity in view, living our life in consciousness of heaven, living our life in consciousness of who we are that our citizenship is not here. We are just aliens and strangers here. As we await the hope of eternal life, it is crucial to note that inspiration, teaching, and devotedness to religious activities that do not result in godly living are far from the truth. I take that again. As we all await the hope of eternal life, it is crucial to note that inspiration—I'm inspired, I have this revelation from God, I know this, I know that, I have this understanding—then teachings, teachings here and there. Let's look at the word of God, let's fellowship together, teachings and devotedness to religious activities—different religious activities coming as a result of your membership of a fellowship or your membership of a church, there will definitely be activities—devotedness to those activities. These three things: inspiration, teachings, and devotedness to religious activities that do not result in godly living, living a godly life are far from the truth. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are calling it is actually an error. There is an error in what you are doing. There is an error somewhere. Something is not right somewhere. Something is not correct somewhere. The hope of eternal life brings godliness, brings godly living. A godly living that begins within the family, within the family before it now spills over to the society. Before it spills over to society, it begins within the family. Of course that have implication for you who are not yet married, you are with your parents. How is your godliness showing at home? What is the level of your subordination, your honor for your parents? What is the level of your obedience, what is the level of your submission to authority? What is the level of good works that you show at home and all of that? So that as we look at marital togetherness which is our focus this morning, when godly living, when like God—that's what we mean by godliness, thinking like God, acting like God—having the same mind which is in Christ, as it says in Philippians 2:5, having that same mind. When you have a different mind, when his thoughts are not your thoughts and his ways are not your ways, whatever looks like inspiration, whatever looks like teachings, whatever looks like devotedness to religious activities, honestly there is a fundamental problem. There is an error somewhere. There is an error somewhere that you need to look into your life about and correct. So that's the first thing I'm saying in that place, that in respect of eternity, in respect of God, in respect of our walk with God, when you don't treasure your togetherness with your spouse, you are not somebody who give such a great value to it that makes you want to do everything to make it gracious, to make it peaceful, to make it blissful, then definitely it is either you don't know the Lord, it's either you are not born of God or you don't know the Lord. The second thing I want you to see in respect of God, in respect of eternity is that when you don't prioritize your togetherness, when you don't give serious priority to it, you don't do everything to protect it, to defend it, to draw a line around it such that you are concerned, you are daily making effort to be sure that no, this togetherness with my spouse is blissful, is gracious—when I say graceful full of joy, making it gracious to him and to her—it in respect of the divine mind, it is an indication that you don't have regard for creation. And by inference again, when you don't have regard for creation, it means you disregard the creator. How does that come? How does this come? When you look at Genesis chapter 1, chapter 2, you will notice that on the sixth day when man was to be made, the Lord said, "let us make man in our own image and likeness," that is Genesis 1:26, "let them have dominion over of course everything that was created before man was created. They are to have dominion over everything that was created." Now, you'll notice that when God did that on that sixth day, I believe I've said this in some of our earlier meetings what I want to say now, that you should realize that on that sixth day what happened in Genesis chapter 1 verse 28 actually came to pass after Genesis chapter 2, what happened in Genesis chapter 2. Genesis chapter 1 is just a chronology of the order of creation, what happened each day. Genesis chapter 2 is not just chronology, is second creation story, the how, how God did it, how it was done. Genesis 2 gave us a picture, a clue into how some of these things were done. And so in looking at the how in chapter 2, you will notice that what happened in 1 verse 28 when he says, "and God blessed them and said be fruitful, multiply, replenish the earth then subdue it." What happened there was after the woman was created. The man and the woman were not created the same time on that sixth day. The man was first created, Adam was first made. You will see that in 1 Timothy chapter 2. Adam was first made before Eve. You will also find that in 1 Corinthians chapter 11. Adam was first made and then when Adam was made, he was given instruction, he was given a garden to keep. That was going on before God now said it is not good for the man to be alone. "Let me make a help suitable for him." And then God went ahead to make the help. So they were both created on the sixth day. Nothing happened on the seventh day because God rested. But they were not created at the same time. So chapter 1 makes us look as if they are created at the same time. He said, "and God created them male and female, male and female created he them and he blessed them." [Genesis 1:27] No, it's not the same time. Now what I'm trying to make you see about disregard for creation, and that is what is happening today. People don't realize that if you want to destroy the society, begin to destroy the families. Because everybody you see in the society, they are traceable to a family. Every child you see in society that is rebellious belong to a father and a mother who either like Eli failed in their responsibility. And you see how God punished Eli for failing to bring up his children in a way that they will not be problem to society. If you remember Hophni and Phinehas, they were busy sleeping with women who came for worship, busy treating sacrifices anyhow. And you see boys and girls like that in the street busy sexually violating people. You see boys like that, violating ladies. You see ladies like that sleeping here and there with boys and fornication, immorality here and there. Unwanted pregnancy, all that going on. You still see all of these things. So these children are either coming from parents who fail in their responsibility or the other way around, the parents did not fail. They are coming from children who parents did everything to set right but who went their own ways. It could be either of these. But the point I'm trying to make is that you will notice that that same way the husband, that man, that woman, that director that is sleeping with his secretary, that secretary that is chasing the HOD, that woman out there that is having extramarital affairs, is a disregard for the family institution. So you see that what you see in society is a reflection of a scattered family. When I said disregard for creation, every man every woman is born of a woman. Creation. Family is the institution where we procreate, where children are born. Everybody belongs to a family. No institution owns anybody. Political institution, economic institution, religious institution, military, health, none of them. We don't belong there. After everything you do in the political institution, after everything you do in the religious institution, you do in church and everything, after everything you do in the economic institution, after everything you do in the health institution, you are still going to go back home. Where is your home? When a man is homeless, that man is a beast. When a woman is homeless, she's a beast. Everybody has a home where they must go back to. So when you are homeless, when you see a man that will sleep here today, sleep there tomorrow, sleep there next tomorrow, will not have a base, will not have a home, will not have something, go and check them. Go and check their lifestyle. Because all other things, they are not our base. We only go there to come back home. So anybody who is disregarding the togetherness at home is somebody who is also scatching the society. He's disregarding creation. He who divides the home divides the nation. He who divides the home does not see that God actually arranged family to be the basis for mediating society. So when you—and you notice that in that creation when he said "let me make him"—why am I linking creation and marriage together? You will notice that when God said "let us make the woman," that creation, "let us make a help suitable for him." Fundamental to that help that is suitable is that the help can reproduce. The help can carry a baby. The help can bring forth something. So you notice that there's a connection between creation and marriage. God was thinking about marriage. As he was thinking about marriage he was thinking about creation. The command there, partly when he says "be fruitful, multiply, replenish," it is partly for them to reproduce themselves, for there to be many Adams and there to be many Eves. So you see that creation and marriage they are linked together. When you see people who don't prioritize their togetherness, when you see people who don't give value to their togetherness, they are people who don't understand creation. They are people who don't, they are just—I don't know how to describe them. I don't know how best to describe you. But I'm only trying to make you see why the home should be treasured. That is that there is a connection between marriage and creation. They are tied together. Once marriage is disregarded, once marriage is not valued, it's not prioritized, you will discover that you are going to scatter all other institutions. You are going to be a problem for the church. People will be running here and there to settle different things in your marriage. You're going to be a problem where you work. You'll not be a settled happy person. If you don't value your wife, you start pursuing other people's wife in their offices. You start chasing women here and there to sleep with them because you are not valuing your own. If you don't value your husband, you start looking at some other men here and there, opening your lap here and there for other men. You see, you are just a problem to creation. You are a nuisance to society. So look at it very well, prioritizing and treasuring your togetherness, you can see how it is linked one to our Christianity, our being born again and our walking with God. When somebody is born again and is walking with God, there is a way he lives when it comes to the matter of marriage. There is a connection between that—that was the first thing we discussed—a connection between your eternity and marriage relationship. Number two, there's a connection between your marriage relationship and creation. Anybody who disregard his or her togetherness with her spouse is somebody who is a destroyer of creation. Is somebody who will be a problem to creation, I mean to society, to everywhere you find them. They are going to be a problem. They are going to be a problem to them. But more importantly looking at in respect of God, look at what God did at creation. God tied creation and marriage together. And so if anybody actually understands this, that person will know that when you are undermining your togetherness actually you are undermining God. You're undermining God. I'm showing you the divine mind. And like I said in the writeup that I sent out, I want you to know very, very, very, very well, it is very, very, very, very hazardous and dangerous. It's going to turn out badly for you to keep kicking against the divine mind. That was exactly what Paul was told, what Saul was told. It's going to be dangerous, it will turn out badly for you to keep kicking against the divine mind. The last thing I want to say in that place in respect of our eternity, our relationship with the Lord, before I come to the section B, is that when you look again at Genesis chapter 1, Genesis chapter 1, I just want to show you something there. Genesis chapter 1, I just want to point your attention to something about treasuring and valuing your togetherness. When you look at Genesis chapter 1 again, in verse 27 and 28, it says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over everything that moves on the earth.'" You will notice something here that I want you to I just want to call your attention to in between the line. You will notice that that is the third thing in respect of God. Why must you treasure, why must you prioritize your togetherness with your spouse? Now when you look at that verse 28, you will notice that the Bible says, "then God blessed them." Note the word, he blessed them, them, meaning the man and his wife. He blessed them and said to them—be noting it—he blessed them, he said to them. The matter is about them. "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea." I want you to compare this reading with Genesis chapter 3 after the fall. After the fall, let's see how it holds in the marriage. You will notice when God was to speak to the woman, the scripture says—I want to take it from verse 10. "So he said," that was Adam, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself." That was the response of Adam when God came, that was after the fall, when their eyes were now opened after the fall. Now then the Lord told the man, and he said to the man—he told—"Who told you that you are naked? Who told you?" Note the question pattern. He said, and he said, that is God talking to Adam. "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" That was the question. What is to be the response ordinarily? It should be yes or no. So in this situation now it is, "Yes, I've eaten of it. Who told you that you are naked? It was because I could see now that I am naked." That's the ordinary response to that question. That's the frank and ordinary response to that question. But look at what Adam said. "Then the man said, 'The woman you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I ate.'" What has the man done? You notice instead of accepting responsibility for the problem in the marriage and seeing how God could intervene for the marriage and seeing what God, how he can plead for mercy—I have sinned, please have mercy on me—what did he do? He shifted blame to the wife. That the matter on ground—mind you, he did not answer the question. He did not answer the question. The question to him was, "Who told you? Have you eaten?" He didn't answer all of that. What he simply did was to just say the woman gave me of something to eat. Now you notice again that the Lord said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me and I ate." What do you see what is happening here again? What has the woman done? She has shifted blame. I'm just going somewhere. Verse 14, "So the Lord God said to the serpent, 'Because you have done this, you are cursed.'" The serpent got his portion. Then when he got to the woman, he said, to the woman he said, "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception. In pain you will bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you." I want you to notice something in this place. In Genesis chapter 1 verse 27, 28, you notice that it was "he blessed them" and said they should have dominion. In chapter 3, there is a reverse, a seemly reverse. He says, "your desire shall be to your husband and he will rule over you." A kind of struggle. A kind of you want to have your way, but this person will show you pepper. This person will do everything to suppress you. This person will do all that. Initially, that wasn't the situation. What I'm trying to make you see is this. Is that when you don't treasure your togetherness in your relationship, it is an indication, a strong indication that what operate in your marriage is the operation of sin. When it is "it is you, you are the one that did it, no it is the woman, he, she, you, you" and then when you notice those kind of things in a home, there is, it's a sign. Instead of looking at where have I got it wrong, you are concerned with where the other person got it wrong. Anytime you want to talk, you always talk from the point of your justification to the condemnation of the other person. Why are you—don't mind him, he is like this, he is like this, don't mind her, she is like this, she is like this. When you notice that is the only thing you look at in your togetherness, it is a sign that sin rules over you. Sin is a serious operation in your life. When you are not valuing it because of that person did that, he did that, she did that, she did that, no concerning yourself. That whosoever is blinded, whosoever is blinded to his own contribution to any problem—let me tell you, it always take two to fight. When there is a problem, it takes two. So if anybody is only seeing one person, you only see one person as the source of a problem in your marriage, it's a sign that sin rules in you. What I mean by the spirit of self-justification. So when you see people who don't treasure their togetherness, with because of one thing or the other they don't treasure their home, they don't treasure, they don't see how, "okay, I will do this for this home to work, I will do that," they are people that are ruled by sin. They are people that are ruled by the spirit of self-justification. That is what is operating in their life. People who are not ruled by this, it will be, "Oh, this thing is not working. Oh, it must be this that I didn't do well. Oh, look it must be this. How can I do it better? This person is getting angry. What have I not understood about my spouse? What have I not seen correctly? What is it that I am doing that is provoking this person? Where is it, what is that I am doing not well?" That is for a person that sin is not ruling over. For a person that sin is in charge of that person's life, it will be "eh, don't mind her or don't mind him. You see he is this and until he does this or he does that, me I will not do this. Until she does this, until she does that, me I will not do that." When you see people who talk like that, with people who are preoccupied with that, that is their only perspective to their home for which reason they are not treasuring their marriage, you are dealing with men that the spirit of self-justification have taken possession of them. And such people, what they need is an encounter with God. Sin has taken charge of their life. So if you are somebody who don't treasure your relationship, you don't treasure your togetherness because of some things in your spouse—because many times it's always coming from what he did, what she did, what she didn't do well, how she offended you, how he offended you, one thing that he said, one character in him is always like this, he is like that, she is like that—that thing, if you are somebody that please go and check your life. If that is the only way that is what you are always saying about your marriage, you are the problem of your life. It is you that has the problem. Something has taken charge of your life you are not seeing it. And that is sin. When sin came into Adam, when sin came into Eve, the first thing—one thing when it come to their relationship that we saw—was the spirit of self-justification. And then you now begin to see, one wanting to do this, "I rule over you," going to do this, and then you see all those kind of—instead of them having dominion together—they are trying to conquer themselves. They are competing in the marriage. Instead of them working together, moving together, thinking together, planning together, submitting to one another, looking at what God has said about their home, looking at, "Oh this, Oh sorry, I got this wrong here, I'm so sorry, I'm making amends to see the relationship will grow"—what possesses them is what he did wrong, what she did wrong, what he did that—and that anytime you see them talk, that is why you don't value your togetherness. Go and check such people. They are people that are possessed with the spirit of self-justification. Sin is fully in charge of their life. That is on the side of our eternity. On the side of our humanity, the B section. On the side of our humanity, why should we treasure our togetherness? Why should we treasure it? On the side of our humanity, that is what I'm trying to say is that let us even say that okay, okay, okay, we are living in respect of God. How does it profit us physically? That's what I'm trying to make you see. It's just like when I was talking to one of some of my student some times ago and I said, even if God did not say "don't commit fornication or don't be immoral," I said, "don't you see that as humans there is great benefit for our own lives when we don't commit fornication, when we are not immoral?" And I was trying to tell them. I said look at some of your colleagues, they start shifting—I was working in an hospital as a counselor. And normally my schedule is to counsel people who have been diagnosed, who have tested positive for HIV before they go and before the doctor will now pronounce that they have it to them, and to prepare them psychologically. I remember the case of a young man that came after the test and he was referred to me. Of course the result had been sent to me that the young man tested positive. So once the result is sent I have to just prepare the person before they now tell the person the result. And the young man came and when he sat down before me he said, "Yes, I've just done the test, I've just done the test, Sir, Sir, please Sir, what's the result, what's the result?" And you see him panting. "What's the result, what's the result? I want—" and I said, "Cool down, cool down young man." And I said, "Why are you this anxious?" He said, "Sir, Sir, you see, you see, actually, actually, you know I have, I have one or two or three girlfriends like that, you know, so I just, I just want to be sure that I'm safe, I just—" so what's giving him anxiety? It was his lifestyle. It was his lifestyle that made him restless. The wicked flee when no man pursues him. That's what we are looking at in terms of our humanity. Treasuring and prioritizing and valuing our togetherness. How does this profit us humanly speaking? That's what I'm trying to make you understand. There is great profit in it. And the first thing I want to make you see about it, about this thing, I'll just make two statements together. The first one is that life is so short and marriage is much more short, much more shorter than life, that it does not worth it not having peace and rest in it. You know what the Bible says about life in Job chapter 14, not 7. Job chapter 14, I read from verse 1. I want you to see the way our human life is. "Man who is born of a woman is of few days and full of troubles." Ordinarily, the human life is short and full of troubles. Even if you don't marry, you don't enter into a marriage, that your life is short and it's so full of troubles. The marriage life is much more shorter because normally you don't marry at birth. If you are to live 70 years, maybe you get to the age of 25 or 26, some even 30 or 35. Half of the years of your life you would have lived it before you now marry. It remains half of the years of your life. It remains another 35. And of that 35 years that you will live again or if you marry at 30, it remains 40 years. I'm just giving a case study that if you are to live for 70 years and you got married at 30, it remains 40 years. So you see the marriage life is already shorter. You have just 40 years out of the 70. Now of that 40 years again, how many years will you spend together, how many hours will you spend together? For about 8 hours you may be in your office doing office work, doing one thing. Remove the time you will use to sleep. Remove the time you will use to be in church, in fellowship. Remove all those hours from your 70 years. Convert it to hours, convert it to days. By the time you remove all those hours from it, maybe what you will be left with is just about 10 years of your life actually that you will be together with your wife, I mean you will spend time together. So your togetherness is so short that it does not worth not making it peaceful. It's so short that it does not worth not making it gracious. It's so short, it's so brief. The sacrifice you will make for that togetherness to make it wonderful—the time of togetherness is so short—24 hours of a day, maybe with 6 hours you slept, with 8 hours you are in the office. So how many hours will you be together in one day? Maybe 3, 4 hours. And you cannot do everything between just 3, 4 hours to be happy with the person you married? It is something that when we look at it, you just wonder is it that you are having a mental health problem? Can't you see that it's not worth scattering the whole thing? It's so short, it's so brief that the sacrifice you will make to make it so sweet is not really much the way you are looking at it. But you decide not to be happy at the end of the day. You come back again, maybe spend 2 to 3 hours before you sleep, you still can not make it a happy time, a peaceful time, a joyful time. Don't you see that you are giving yourself a lot of problem? That life itself is full of so much trouble. Why are you complicating your matters by adding more troubles to yourself? Life is so short. Marriage is much more, much more, much more shorter. The togetherness, the time you spend, say, "I can't be sacrificing for this again for how many hours, for how many years, in the number of years that you will be married, that togetherness for how many hours in a day, for how many days in the week." Brother, sister, go and have a rethink. Have a rethink about life. Have a rethink. And the second statement that goes with that, looking at our own physical life is this. Whether you make your marriage peaceful or you don't make your marriage peaceful, there are sacrifices you have to make in life. Whether you make your marriage peaceful there are sacrifices you will make to make it peaceful. If the marriage is not peaceful, there are sacrifices you will also make to live that life that is not peaceful. So if you are running away from making sacrifices, you will still make sacrifice. When it is peaceful you need sacrifice. When it is not peaceful you also need sacrifice. You sacrifice so many things. You will lose so many things. Whichever way you look at it. But let me tell you something Jesus said. "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." My own yoke and my burden. That is Matthew 11. The Master was talking about his own yoke. And he said something so categorical about his own yoke when he was speaking in that passage. He said, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." It means the yoke of sin is a labor. The yoke of sin is heavy. "And I will give you rest. Take my yoke and learn from me, for I am meek and gentle in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Let me tell you, when you learn of the Lord, you take the Lord's yoke, the Lord's yoke, you decide to go the Lord's way in your marriage. You decide to see it the way God sees it. You decide to know God, to fear God and to live for God in it. The Master said my own yoke is easy, my burden is light. But the yoke of sin, of allowing sin to reign in your home, that yoke of competing with yourselves, "I will subdue him, I'm going to do this, I will subdue her, I will deal with her, I will deal with him," that yoke, that second one that you are carrying, the Master said you will not find rest for your soul. The sacrifice you will be paying that there will be no rest for your soul. You will be a restless person. Go and check people whose home are not peaceful, they are also restless. Go and check people who are full of self-justification, they are restless people. As they fight at home, they will fight in their workplace, they will fight in the street, they will fight with their neighbors because the same thing that made them not to live with one will also make them not to live with several others. They are restless people. Like the Lord talk about Cain, he said you be a wanderer. They are wanderers. They wander here and there in their spirit. They are restless people. So there is sacrifice to make. There are sacrifices. So but I tell you that the sacrifice you put into it for there to be peace is nothing compared to the sacrifice you will make when there is no peace. That's the reality I want you to see. That's the reality I want you to see. I don't know whether you follow the social media on something that happened, was it day before yesterday, within the week? Myself and my wife were just discussing it. Somebody already have children for a particular man in her marriage and then maybe orcacation or whatever in that marriage, she left that marriage to another one. And then something happened again in the other marriage that she went to. And this time around the children in the first marriage they were with her. The other person just went, took petrol, matches, set everybody ablaze. I mean the wife, the children, set them ablaze. And then fled for his life. Of course help came, two children were already dead. The hospital is battling to save the life of the woman and the other three children. She left one looking for peace to go and get peace elsewhere. Where is the peace that she—she left one looking for—and if you look at what happened in that situation, the second is no better than the first. There are—you see what I'm trying to make you see? I'm trying to make you see is that see, whichever way you do it, there are consequences. There are sacrifices you make. But I'm telling you, I'm advising you today, the yoke of the Lord, the yoke of treasuring and prioritizing your home is better. It's a better yoke. In our physical life again, a third thing I want you to see about our humanity. I want you to get something. I want to show you something about David. Just a pointer to something. I read something, I was looking at the life of David in the course of the week. Just this matter just became a matter in my heart. 1 Kings chapter 1, I read from verse 1. The Bible says, "Now King David was very old, advanced in years, and they put covers on him but he could not get warm. Therefore his servants said to him, 'Let a young man, a young woman, a virgin be sought for our lord the king, and let her stand before the king, and let her care for him, and let her lie in your bosom that our lord the king may be warm.' So they sought for a lovely young woman throughout all the territory of Israel and found Abishag the Shunammite and brought her to the king. The young woman was very lovely," verse 4, "she cared for the king and served him but the king did not know her." Let me read that reading another translation. "The girl was very beautiful. She waited on the king and took care of him but the king had no sexual relationship with her." NIV: "The girl was very beautiful. She took care of the king and waited on him but the king had no intimate relationship with her." The Message: "The girl was stunningly beautiful. She stayed at the king's side and looked after him but the king did not have sex with her." Amplified: "The maiden was beautiful. She waited on the king and nursed him but the king had no sexual intercourse with her." You know what just struck me in reading this scripture? As I read, my mind just went back to David and Bathsheba. In 2 Samuel chapter 11, you knew what happened. David was walking on the roof of his house. He saw a woman bathing. And the woman was beautiful. This one we are told that she was stunningly beautiful, she was very beautiful. That one was beautiful. And when the king saw her, the king left all the ones he had at home. He didn't prioritize those ones. He didn't treasure those ones. That's why I told people, if you think polygamy is a cure for lust you are deceiving yourself. If you like have 200. If you don't cure lust you will still be looking for more to marry and more to put inside. I hope you know how David got to marry Bathsheba. There's already about seven at home. Polygamy solve the problem of that. If you have this you say—anyway that's not my focus this morning. I'm only pointing your attention to something. He saw that one and when he saw Bathsheba, even when she know that this one is not a free range woman, this one have been tied to a man and that man is one of your 37 men that are loyal to you. You know Uriah? David had 37 men. The first three, the next three and then the other next four and then the remaining 30. You will see that in 2 Samuel towards the end of 2 Samuel. Uriah was one of those 30. Men who are loyal, committed to David. And you can see the loyalty when he came. Committed to fighting the war of Israel, committed to the king. She was the wife of such a man. And David out of lust, everything, "Ah, I cannot but sleep with her, she is everything I wanted now," and then he took—he took her, slept with her, then he began to see the consequences gradually. "Ah, the woman is pregnant. Hey, nobody must hear this. What do I do? We must kill her. Hey, we must kill, we must kill—let's try to implicate the husband in the matter." He could not implicate the husband in the matter. "Hey, the man must die. Let's kill him." All of that and wait when the man—that was first anxiety—the wicked flee when no man pursues him. Then look at the second one. By the time he killed the man, there were now further consequences. Do you notice that virtually all the sons before Solomon were slaughtered? God said the sword will not depart from your house. [2 Samuel 12:10] Look at how that thing almost wrecked the kingdom of David, scattered the household of David. Amnon slept with Tamar, Absalom killed Amnon. Look at how everything scattered. And because one man will not be contented with togetherness at home. What are those things that are looking attractive to you beyond your togetherness now? What are those things that are looking so valuable to you? What are those things that you are pursuing? Have you not heard of rich, the very rich committing suicide? If money is the all well and end well of life and you are putting that above your togetherness, do you know that money is not? Money is not. If job is the all well and end well of life—I was reading something on the news, was it yesterday or day before yesterday? A young lady who is with the DSS, a commandant trainer with the DSS, was in a Uber on third mainland bridge, got out of the taxi and then jumped into the river and of course you know what—that's a suicidal attempt. That was suicide. Jumped into the river of course they are still, as at now, they have not been able to get her body. By now in that river she is already dead. The taxi driver, the owner of the Uber said she had an argument with the fiance. She's not yet married. Had argument with the fiance and then whatever, whatever, a relationship with somebody. And that argument, whether she argument that caused the problem or whatever we don't know. But that was the statement the taxi driver's—that was what you are reading on the news in the newspaper anyway. I didn't say that, I was reading that in the newspaper. But the point I'm trying to bring out, just three things. If having a good job is the all well and end well of life, will somebody who have that kind of a job jump into the river? If as—look I'm trying to make you understand something. Some of the things you are treasuring now above your togetherness, over time they will be meaningless to you. They will be meaningless to you. And if it is true that it was an instability between a marital relationship or something that led to that, she a sacrifice is being paid, is a sacrifice is being paid for the sacrifice of having peace in it. Which one, which sacrifice is better? Or the person who burned the wife and is running away? Now becoming a criminal and trying to prison and trying to keep peace with the wife at home? The sacrifice to just love the woman, accept her whichever way, which one is better? I want you to think about these things. Some of the things that you are pursuing now that are looking so valuable to you, they will soon fade. Life is so short. We trust the Lord that it will be a blessed time again for that of this month of December. We trust the Lord to meet with you then again. The Lord will preserve us beyond then. Let us close the meeting today as I ask my wife to pray for us. [Speaker 2] Father in Jesus' name, we are grateful again Lord. We appreciate you Father for another time in your presence. Thank you Lord for you are always here. Thank you for you do not leave us without instruction, without blessing, blessing, deliverance that come through your word. You always send your word to us because you are the author, you are the manufacturer of all things and particularly the matter we are discussing, marriage. Lord we lift up every life present in this meeting physical and online, everyone that will by the virtue of hearing this message again. Lord we pray that your hand will rest mightily upon us to be doers of this word and not hearers only in the name of Jesus. Father we ask for the working of your spirit who Lord to take away everything that is of self that makes us take yokes that are detrimental to our life. A selfish person does not know that that is doing him or herself. Lord please, help us not to wallow in sin. Let not power of sin, you have broken it, they have no hold over our life. Lord please, if it is in the way of our attitude, our behavior, in every way that have not been crucified by you. Lord we bring every life before you that Lord please let self be put to death in the name of Jesus. Help us to take upon us the yoke of Jesus. Help us to know that we have the spirit of Christ. And if the spirit of Christ is in us, we have it is clearly written what the spirit of Christ is. Spirit that was obedient even in suffering. The spirit that laid down his life for even his enemies, his enemies, people that never wanted him. The spirit that looked out for those who offends him. Lord please let there be working graciously, oh Lord of your spirit in us in the name of Jesus. So that even in our home, which is even a short time Lord, very short analyzing if you put it to calculation, we come to discover that our togetherness is so short and yet, if we are not careful the enemy have been thinking, distracting us, using so many slipsey things, things that we can overlook to cause disunity, to make us not to enjoy one another. Lord please we pray, by the reason of your word that you have sent to us today, we break the harm of flesh over our lives in the name of Jesus. Help us to go in this strength, oh God. Help us to go oh Lord to lay down, to make easy sacrifices. Sacrifice that is easy, yoke that is light, in obedience to the word of God, in being selfless. Oh Lord in being in forbearance, in in kindness, in forgiveness. These are these are sacrifice to make and these sacrifices are easy, this yoke they are light. Help us to go in this in this strength, help us to go carrying oh Lord this yoke that is light and the sacrifice that is easy in our marriage, in even our togetherness in every other relationship we find ourselves in the mighty name of Jesus. We pray Lord God Almighty you establish us more beyond this point, speak to us Lord. Holy Spirit brood upon this word in our heart, expansion it, let it become flesh in us, let it become us, let it become human, let it be our lifestyle in the name of Jesus. Thank you for your son that you have used we pray oh Lord. Never cease oh Lord the working of your spirit in him in the name of Jesus. By the reason of your grace and mercy that have elected and chosen him to be your mouthpiece. Oh Lord the gate of hell will not prevail against him, will not prevail against his home in the mighty name of Jesus. We ask for more of your grace, more of revelation auction for the benefit of the church and for the glory of your name in the name of Jesus. Lord we as we go to gather back again second Saturday in the month of December if Christ tarries Lord we pray that your blessings will remain with us. We'll come back with testimonies. Every every home that are in trouble, every home that are broken, every home that there are no togetherness we speak healing into you in the name of Jesus. We pray you come back with testimony, testimony of the help of God. Let our homes be helped in the name of Jesus. Thank you Father for answers to our prayers. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's share the grace in fellowship. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forevermore. Amen. [Outro] [Music playing] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christendom ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development and mission aid. Our regular activities are: Discipleship class every Monday 5:00 PM, Adolescent and Singles Club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, Marriage Forum second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, Family Life Seminars, regular school outreaches and everyday counseling. For further counseling you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Very Joy filling station along Idere Road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all.