Rest for Your Soul (3)

[Music playing] [Speaker 1] Church fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] And all that he is to us. We thank him again for another opportunity for our Marriage Forum for the month of February 2023. As we move on again this morning, we trust the Lord to work in our midst in the name of Jesus Christ. Let us have a word of prayer then take a little background from where we started and then we move on to what we have to look at today. Let's have a word of prayer. Everlasting Father, we are very grateful to you. We sincerely thank you for your mercy and for your love. We appreciate you for all that you are to us. We thank you for preservation. We thank you for your providence of care and provision. We thank you for redemption. We thank you for light and enlightenment that comes by the reason of your word. The scripture says, "Your word is a lamp unto our feet and then a light unto our path." The scripture says that the entrance of your word gives light and understanding. Our Father, as we gather unto you again this morning to fellowship together, to interact with one another—we who are here physically, our brethren who are on Telegram, our brethren who are on Mixlr—as we all fellowship together this morning, Lord we pray that you will meet each and every one of us where we need you most in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, lighten our darkness. Teach us your ways. Show us your path. Your path of rest, your path of quietness, Lord, show us your path. Thank you, eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. So, we are taking it again from where we left the matter in January. The whole matter about rest for your soul started since the month of December. And we have been considering this topic: Marriage Forum in December, Marriage Forum in January, and we are still pressing on on this topic for our Marriage Forum this February. What I sent out yesterday towards today's program was just to remind us of where we started and where we are, or where we were, where we stopped in the month of January. What I sent out, just reading it again, was: We continued with "Rest for Your Soul," Saturday, 14th January 2023, Marriage Forum. So far, we had noted that rest had become elusive in many Christian homes today, particularly for younger couples. Yet, what the Lord offers us is rest, the needed rest for the soul. Moreover, also, if anyone is restless within, if you are not finding rest for your soul, if you discover that you are not at rest within yourself, the root of it is never in your spouses, but the person who is restless. The reason for that, we quoted the scripture, the Lord said: "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your soul." (Matthew 11:29) Hence, restlessness is actually about you, not about your spouse. So far, we had considered taking the Lord's yoke and learning of him in his manner of coming as our Redeemer. Today, Marriage Forum, we will focus on learning the Lord in the manner of his life and death. May we all find rest for our soul, then rest in our marriages in Jesus' name. And I also noted yesterday that remember that you can send in your questions. We'll begin to attend to questions as from 11:30. So, we want to take it from where we left it in January. We have been able to see that the matter of, "I'm not having rest in my marriage, I'm not this, in fact, I'm restless, I'm this, I'm that, I'm that, it's about my spouse"—we have been able to establish that very well in January, that it's not about your spouse, it's about you. And we began to look at that. We saw the need to learn the Lord in the manner of his coming. Today we want to look at learning the Lord. We don't have rest in your soul, perhaps you have not learned the Lord. You have not taken time to learn the Lord in the manner of his life and in the manner of his death. What is it that we can learn in the Lord in the manner of his life and in the manner of his death? What is it can we learn so that we can find rest for our soul? For the Lord said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your soul." What is it that we can learn in the manner of his life and what is it that we can learn in the manner of his death? So we will take the first one in the manner of his life. Let's look at the manner of his life. Let's look at the scripture to just see a few things and then we also move on again to look at the manner of his death. We look at the scripture to look at a few things and then we bring all together. In the manner of his life, what is it that Jesus took time to discuss with the disciples? Let's look at something in Matthew chapter 5. Matthew chapter 5. "Learn from me. Take my yoke and learn from me." Now we will look at Matthew chapter 5. I want to take the reading from verse 21. From verse 21. Now, from verse 21, the scripture says: "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of judgment.' But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:21-24) Now when you look at what the Lord is raising in this place, we want to look at the manner of his life, what he taught, one of the things he told his disciples when it comes to the issue of relationship. Now you will agree with me in this place that it is important for you to see that the issue of being a murderer or not being a murderer goes beyond just killing somebody physically. It is not when you pick a knife or a gun and then you slaughter somebody that eternity is talking about what it means to be an individual that can kill or an individual that has killed another person. Now, the Lord was using the matter of anger, the matter of verbal expression. Now, in the matter of anger, the Lord said that I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of judgment. Now you will see in this place that being angry with our brother, being angry with a fellow believer—why am I drawing on this? It is because you must realize that your spouse as a believer is first a child of God before he or she is a spouse. This is something sometimes we forget. That person you call your wife, that person you call your husband, you must never ever forget that you are also dealing with a child of God. You are dealing with a fellow Christian. And whatever transpires between you and that fellow Christian which you call your spouse bears directly on your own relationship with God. You cannot maltreat a child of God and then say you love the Lord. You cannot maltreat a child of God and you say you have relationship with the Father of that child. It is good to put these things in perspective about our homes, about our marriages. So when it comes to the life of the Lord, what I'm trying to make you see is the crucial issue that the Lord raised about our relationship with a fellow Christian. We must understand that in dealing with a fellow brother, in dealing with a fellow sister, if I am angry without a cause, then the truth is that I shall be in danger of judgment. I shall be in danger of the judgment of God. I'm going to show you practical example in the word of God. Being in danger of judgment. And in doing that quickly, because I want to use this matter of anger in two ways. Just quickly look at what the scripture says in 1 Corinthians 11. 1 Corinthians chapter 11. I take the reading from verse 17. It's a popular scripture, but I just want to call your attention to a vital issue. He says, "Now in giving these instructions I do not praise you, since you come together not for the better but for the worse. For first of all, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you, and in part I believe it. For there must also be factions among you, that those who are approved may be recognized among you." (1 Corinthians 11:17-19) Telling you that when there are factions, it tells you the way such things originate and how it is managed helps you to know who is a child of God and who is not a child of God. He says, "For there must be factions among you." Let me take that in NLT translation: "But of course, there must be divisions among you so that you who have right will be recognized." Now what I want you to see is that when you begin to see divisions, when you begin to see separation, lack of unity, when there is no oneness—I'm talking about now in your marriage, I'm talking about spousal relationship. When you begin to see "you are stupid," "you are foolish," this and that, you are not agreeing with your spouse. Do you know the Bible says that there must be divisions? Such things will occur. Offenses cannot but come. But it helps us to know, it helps us to recognize the people that are right. The origin of factions and how they are managed helps you to know who is a believer. That's one thing you must get clear. It helps you to know who actually is approved of God. Now he says, "But of course, there must be division so that those of you who are right will be recognized." "Therefore when you come together in one place, it is not to eat the Lord’s Supper. For in eating, each one takes his own supper ahead of others; and one is hungry and another is drunk. What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and shame those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I praise you in this? I do not praise you. For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, 'Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.' In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.' For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes. Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord." (1 Corinthians 11:20-27) Please don't forget where I'm coming from. Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause will be in danger of judgment. That's what I want to explain to you because sometimes some things begin to happen to you as a Christian. You don't know why they are happening to you. So that it is because of the way you are relating with other Christians. Many times you are the cause of your own problem. Because there is no enchantment against Jacob, and there is no divination against Israel. Many times when enchantment begins to work against us and things are happening, many times we may just be reaping the fruit of our doings. These are things you must get clear. But certain things can happen to us. You might be relating with your—because I'm going to make you understand something very well as believers. That person you are calling your spouse—we are looking at what we can learn in the life of the Lord, in the manner of his life. What did the Lord say about relationship with one another as believers? The Lord said if you are angry with your brother without a cause—there's no reason, there is no justifiable reason, there is no real reason—as far as eternity is concerned for you to be angry. That is why sometimes when you are angry with people, you may need to first check yourself. You need to first look inward too, to be sure that it is not a baseless thing that you are angry about. A baseless thing that you are just getting unnecessarily angry about what ordinarily you should overlook, you should forbear, you should forgo. Remember an illustration I gave sometimes. I think I can't remember the meeting where I gave the illustration. That always remember that when the other person looks foolish, be careful. What you may be looking at in their life or about what they are saying to be foolish may just be your own limited understanding. I gave an illustration then, I can't remember which of the meetings. When two people stand opposite themselves, if you put the letter 'M' in their middle, to the person on the right it would be 'M', to the person on the left it would be a 'W'. The person standing at the right will be insisting "this is M." The person standing at the left will say, "No, you are not seeing well. This thing is W." The first person will say, "No, are you blind? Don't be stupid, you are annoying me. This thing is M." The person says, "Look, I try to understand you, you are not just being reasonable. Can't you see that this thing is W?" The question is who is wrong, who is right? It is because of the perspective from which you are looking at the matter. So sometimes when people look stupid and mad and foolish to you, it may just be an expression of your own limited understanding about the matters of life, about the issues of this life, about the things. You may not just be appreciating very well the other person's position. And you are just looking at it from your position, but you are not realizing that what you are calling your position is just one angle to the issue that is on ground. If you look at it from all the angles, it's not the way you are looking at it. And so it is important when it comes to the matter of anger, being angry with your brother. It is good, I'm relating these things to your spouse. That person you are calling your spouse is your brother or your sister. You must not forget that. It is something that you must never forget in a spousal relationship. That person is a child of God. He's a daughter of God or he's a son of God. And so in relating with that person you need to be careful, you need to be watchful. If you are angry without a cause, you will be in danger of judgment. Certain things will happen to you, you will not be able to explain it. That's what I want to explain with this Lord's Supper issue. People just said "I am for Paul," "I am for Apollos." Baseless issue, which Paul explained in 1 Corinthians if you look at chapter 3, chapter 4. He explained it. You say you are for Paul, you say you are for Apollos. Who is Paul? Who is Apollos? Are they not just people by which you believed? Paul plants, Apollos waters. They are just ministers of God. So why are you dividing yourself by men? It was based on this division that they got to the breaking of bread. I'm not concerned whether the other person eats of the bread. They forgot that that bread expresses their unity. Because they said that "I'm for Paul," "I'm for Apollos," and that looked something great, that looks something like, "Yes, I am something in what I'm trying to say." And so one person takes the bread, one person is full. They did not wait for each other. Instead of waiting for them to take it as one, some take their own, took it, they don't mind whether the other person gets of the bread. That's what they were doing. And the Lord by Apostle Paul was calling their attention to very vital issues about this action that they were taking. "Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord." (1 Corinthians 11:27) This they did not realize. But let him examine himself and so let him eat. They didn't examine themselves. "I'm for Apollos," "I'm for Peter," yeah, like that. He continues, he says, "For whoever eats and drinks in an unworthy manner..." (1 Corinthians 11:29) What was the unworthy manner? Their division. "Eats and drinks judgment on himself." Anger without a cause. They were angry with one another, there was no cause. And so what were they drinking upon themselves? It was judgment. Because that division has no basis. "Not discerning the Lord's body." "For this reason many of you are weak, many are sick, and many are dead." (1 Corinthians 11:30) Look at what happened. They will not be able to explain, they will be thinking one enemy has gotten them. About the sickness that suddenly came up. They won't be able to explain the weakness, spiritual weakness and other weakness. They won't be able to explain some deaths that took place. "Ah, Satan! Hey! The enemy!" But we are seeing that it was just that matter of not handling their relationship very well. He says, "For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged." (1 Corinthians 11:31) And that is something you must learn. May we learn to judge ourselves. May we learn to examine ourselves. When matters are between you and your spouse, may we learn to say, "Ah, no, this thing I didn't do it well. I am sorry. Dear, I am sorry. Dear, oh, in this matter, ah, no, I should not have done this. Some things that you have said, no, no, no." But many times we don't judge ourselves. We just close our mind, close our eyes, close our reasoning to what the other person is saying. We just block ourselves, you just feel, "No, I know what I'm talking about," and you are not taking time to listen. You are not taking time to understand. So many times when we don't judge ourselves, then we are chastised by the Lord that we may not be condemned with the world. He says, "Therefore, my brethren, when you come together to eat, wait for one another." (1 Corinthians 11:33) What was their sin? What was their sin? They were not waiting for each other. That was why some of them were weak, some of them were sick, and some died. Just that they did not wait for one another to take bread. That was the manner. I'm showing you the importance. Now I'm not trying to explain somebody who because the wife did something, the husband did something, will not wait for them to have devotion together. "You go and take your prayer." I'm showing you even when we cannot pray, we cannot study Bible together, we cannot do this, we cannot do that, because we cannot reason together, we cannot wait for each other. What do you think how much judgment... I'm just trying to make you understand certain things. Just that people did not wait for another person that they eat something together, there could be sickness, there could be weakness, there could be death. So who knows whether some deaths that happen in marriages is not because of anything serious. It's not because one enemy attacked one person. Or some sickness that you cannot just explain. Who knows whether it is because people are just angry with one another without a cause? There's no just basis. Look at these people, there was no just basis for what they were doing. "Who is Apollos? Who is Paul?" "I'm for them, yes!" What looked like something great and some things like they have a point? As far as eternity is concerned, "Who is Paul? Who is Apollos?" For them, "Ah, mighty Paul, the man of revelation! How can you talk about him like that?" And that was what they were doing. And they thought they were fighting for God. Yet, God was the one causing several things to happen among them because they were not discerning the Lord's body. They were not looking at that their brother and realizing, "Look, we have a relationship." And I'm telling you, many times when you don't discern the Lord in your spouse, you might be under judgment. You might be under judgment! And later when things begin to happen to you, you say, "Eh! I know this thing! You are the cause! You are the cause! This thing I'm going through is the cause!" Sorry, it's not the cause. You are the cause of what you are going through. Let us be careful. These things they are written down for our learning. They are not just written for us to read. They are written for us to meditate, to adjust our lives. Christian marriages involve two believers. And we should be careful how we relate. We must not forget that fundamental issue between the two of us. Because at the end of the day, we don't marry in heaven. It's just for the part of this thing, it's just on this side of life that you are saying, "Look, do you know me? I am your husband! Do you know that I am your head? Do you know... look, I am your wife, this is my right!" All those things are just about this earth. By the time we get to the gate of heaven, then there's nothing like, "You who did not have husband, go to hell." Is there anything like that? "You who don't have wife, go to hell." There's nothing like that! Rather it will be that you said you are a wife and you did not submit to your husband. It's the obedience to the Lord that they will be measuring. These are very, very important things, brethren, for us to lay to heart. That is why the Lord is saying that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause will be what? Danger of judgment. Take it, don't take it lightly. Don't take that statement lightly. Don't be in danger of judgment. Examine yourself. Be sure. Tell yourself what you are talking about. Be sure you are not just blind. You are just looking at a matter only from your angle. Your own reasonings from your background, from your perspective, from your level of your own level of maturity. You are not looking that you are dealing with another person who has a different level of maturity, a different capacity. And that was why when we were talking last month, I made you to understand. If God stayed in heaven and say, "Until you repent, we will not come and save you." Do you think we will have anybody repenting? Why? That will be an unjust judgment because we don't have the capacity to repent. We don't have it. And that is why the Lord saw that, see, these people... that's what I will be going to next. "I have come to seek and to save that which is lost." So we were lost, there's nothing we can do. So if He had stayed there, there would have been no child of God. So in the prevailing circumstance, He looked at our capacity, He looked at where we were, and so He is the one to do what? To make the sacrifice and then ask us, give us the capacity to even be able to turn to Him. No man can come to Him except the Father draws him. We could not have come! So staying there, sometimes when you stay somewhere and say, "Look, if the person don't do this, I will not do this," you might be interacting with someone who doesn't have the capacity to do something and you are blind to that. And you will stay there, "If he does not come, this marriage will not work," effectively the marriage will break. Because you are not realizing that the person you are dealing with don't have the capacity that you are demanding. These are important things about examining. Say, "Examine yourself." Examine yourself. Many things today that people, you know, draw and drag and drag until it breaks, does not worth it. It doesn't worth it. We are learning the Lord in the manner of his life. "I have come to seek and to save that which is lost." Be careful about relationship. Don't be in the danger of judgment. Because a lot of things can happen to you as a result of that. And later you start saying, "It's the cause, it's the cause, that person is the cause. In fact, this thing I'm going through is the cause." Sorry, it's not the cause. You are the cause of what you are going through. The Lord will help us in the name of Jesus. We will not miss our steps. We will not get it wrongly. May we be wise. May we be circumspect in all we do in the name of Jesus Christ. I pray for you, if you are not yet married, may the Lord begin to grant you more and more wisdom in the name of Jesus Christ. And if you are already married, I don't know what may be happening in your home now. May the Lord grant you understanding of how to better handle the matter in the name of Jesus Christ. May our home be fulfilled. May our joy be full. May the cup of our blessings overflow in the name of Jesus Christ. We will not miss it in life in Jesus' name. Even though we are talking like this and we are in church ourself, it's also good for us to know that I am passionate of better things for you. And better things will be your lot in the name of Jesus Christ. Now, so, that was... I came to this place because I wanted to explain the matter of being in danger of judgment. So let me just conclude that, conclude that reading. Say, "Therefore my brethren, when you come together, wait for one another." Wait for one another. "But if anyone is hungry..." Look at the bottom line again. Look at even the funny thing I want to show you about the conclusion. "But if anyone is hungry, let him eat at home, lest you come together for judgment. And the rest I will set in order when I come." (1 Corinthians 11:34) So do you see another bottom line? Even though they were saying "I am Apollos," "I am for Paul," why is it another reason why they didn't wait for one another? Because they are hungry. They saw the bread... they are looking at the bread, "Whoa! I'm hungry! When are they going to help me if they don't..." May the Lord help us in the name of Jesus Christ. Eat if you're hungry so that you'll be able to wait for the other brethren. So that you can handle that matter the way it ought to be handled. So, back to that Matthew that we are looking at. I just went there, we went to that 1 Corinthians to prove a point from that place. and then we are back again to Matthew that we are considering. Talking about being in danger of judgment, being in danger of hell. It says, "But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of judgment." We have handled that already. "Whoever shall say to his brother..." Okay, before I move on to "whoever shall say to his brother," this thing now our utterances. Now, which ever shall be... before I move on to whoever shall say to his brother, I wanted to raise something before I go further. I want you to look at this issue of "angry without a cause." Then we want to look at what of when we are angry with a cause. Because it is "without a cause." But there could be a cause why we could be angry. How do we handle that? Because the person who is angry with a cause, if there is a reason for the anger, if everything has been evaluated and there is a just reason for that anger, that person will not be in danger of judgment. It would be that it needs to be handled, it needs to be looked at. What is the way in looking at that? Please, let us look at Ephesians. I've told you that there is nothing to rush about this teaching. It is looking at each matters as they join together. And looking at them as the Lord will help us, from the angles, as many angles as possible as the Lord will help us to see. So we are trying to address each of the angles as much as possible as the Lord will help us. Let's look at Ephesians. That should be chapter 4. There could be a just reason for anger. How do we handle that? What do we do about that? Ephesians chapter 4. I want us to look at the scripture from verse 17. Because it ties a lot of things together. Ephesians chapter 4 from verse 17. He says: "This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind." (Ephesians 4:17) It is important when we become Christians not to live our life the way Gentiles live their life. And how do they live their life? Their mind is futile. I'd like to present that for you in another Bible translation. It says, "With the Lord's authority, let me say this: Live no longer as the ungodly do, for they are hopelessly confused." For they are hopelessly confused. Are you getting something? Futility of the mind is being hopelessly confused. He says, "having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart." (Ephesians 4:18) This a terrible state for any human being. Their understanding is darkened, their heart is blind. Now, you can see that the Bible is separating believers from unbelievers in their lifestyle. He says with the Lord's authority, let me say this: Live no longer as the ungodly do. There is something about us when we came into Jesus that we don't live again as the ungodly. Because I want to address how do we deal with... you know we have addressed who who is angry with his brother without a just reason. Now I want to address what of when there is a just reason to be angry. Because anger has to do with feelings. When it's not a just reason, how do we handle it? I'm trying to make you see that there is a way believers handle feelings different from the way the ungodly handle feelings. The feeling of anger, the feeling of attraction, the feeling of love, the feeling of all of these feelings. We, we are not past feelings, except we are now Gentiles. We are not past feelings! We are people that are sane. Our mind is not confused. We are not hopelessly confused. He says for the unbelievers, he says they have given themselves over to lewdness, to all kinds of uncleanness and greediness. Look at verse 20. What did the Bible say? "But you have not so learned Christ." (Ephesians 4:20) Don't forget what you are coming from. If you must find rest for your soul, what did Jesus say? "Learn from me." He said you have not so learned Jesus. That's why I am telling people, when you don't find rest for your soul, it is because you are not learning Jesus. It's not because of your spouse. The root of your restlessness in your marriage is never your spouse, it's you! If you Jesus said, "Take my yoke, learn from me, you will find rest for your soul," the root for your restlessness is never your spouse, it's you! He says, "But you have not so learned Christ." I take it from another way, NLT: "But that isn't what you were taught when you learned about Christ." You have not so learned Christ. I take it from another way, The Message: "But that is no life for you. You learned Christ!" So when you see a man who cannot properly handle feelings of anger, of bitterness, of love, of emotion, of affection, when the person cannot handle it and the person begin to act past feelings, begin to act unreasonably and stupidly, what do you say about that person? The person did not properly learn Jesus. Now, he says look at verse 21: "if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus." (Ephesians 4:21) So my question is, bro, sis, have you been taught by Jesus? Have you really encountered Jesus? If you have encountered Him and you have been taught by Him, the Bible says we cannot live as the Gentiles do. We cannot. It's just not possible we live like they do. Now, having said all of that... because I want to create a background for anger. I'm actually going to anger with a cause. I've looked at anger without a cause. Be careful about being angry with people for no just basis. You will be under the danger of judgment. I'm looking at when you are now angry with people and there is a just basis. How do we handle that anger? That's what I want to look at. He says, "that you put off, concerning your former conduct..." (Ephesians 4:22) It has come now to conduct. "...the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind." (Ephesians 4:23) Where is the problem? Their mindset. And that's why I tell people, when you marry people, what you marry is not their look, it's not their certificate. What you marry is a mindset. She can be looking so beautiful but have a hungry mindset. She can be looking so ugly but have a beautiful mindset. It's not about the container, it's about the content. Be careful about how you make choice in marriage, choices in marriage. Because what you are actually marrying in people is whether they have been renewed in the spirit of their mind or they have not been renewed in the spirit of their mind. Because this will explain how they're going to deal with the issue of... we'll begin to look those things now. The issue of emotional issues, you will begin to live them. People who have been renewed in their mind, they don't act past feelings. No, they don't. They don't. He says, "and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." (Ephesians 4:24) Now look at it now, it now begins to address conduct issues. Look at them one by one. "Therefore, putting away lying..." When you see somebody say "I'm a Christian" and he's lying, what's the problem? You can see where we are coming from. Is somebody who perhaps is born again—I said perhaps, because the Bible talks about they don't know God or they have not been born of God, it's either way—somebody, it's either somebody who is not born again or somebody who is born again but who has not been renewed in the spirit of the mind. Whose mind has not been renewed. There are several... let me tell you, there are multitude of carnal Christians. What you have sometimes in what we call our Christian gathering are just multitude, not disciples. Crowd! Crowd! And maybe because sometimes today we so much like number. There's nothing wrong with number please. If God is increasing your influence and more people are being brought into the kingdom, it's a wonderful thing. I'm not against number, I don't have problem with that. I'm only saying that... I'm only trying to address a vital issue. There's nothing wrong if there is number. But remember with Jesus, He was able to separate the crowd from the disciples. I don't know whether you get the point. But today we are not able to separate disciples from crowd. Everybody is a Christian. So, everybody... we are not able to separate. So you now begin to find "we married inside the church, oh." They fought with cutlass. He's the choir director, I am the chief usher. And do you know what? He gave me double slap before I could even answer. He has told my pastor that my pastor is mad! And it was the pastor that did the marriage for him, oh! I'm sorry. You are the one that called him a disciple. He was actually a multitude. I don't know whether you understand. We could not separate. When the grace of God is being expressed, crowd will also gather. Are you understanding me? It is now a discernment. If you are a disciple, be sure you marry a disciple. Let crowd marry themselves. They are all inside the kingdom. They are all inside! Look at it. Anywhere the grace and the gift of God is expressed, there will be disciples and there will be crowd. That is the reality of it. But if you get entangled in crowd, you'll just match all together and treat all with "our brother did this." I remember the case they were trying to handle. I don't want to mention the church. They got to the house, the brother—the so-called brother who is a committed member of the church—used cutlass (I'm not exaggerating) cutlass to chase the pastor and the body of elders. Everybody! I'm serious! To chase everybody! Everybody stampeding! Where would you go? They never returned to that house again. They later found... sorry he's not a brother. But he's a Christian. These are very, very important issues. And these things they translate, you can see how they enter into marriage. And someone says "Christian marriages are having problem, Christian marriages are not good." No! That is not really where the thing is. There are some fundamental problems that were not originally solved. These are very, very vital things to look at brethren. I read another one again. I don't know whether this one is true, but the one I said now was... the one I said now was a reality. But I read this one, was it a novel or something? A sister married a brother, it was a Christian marriage and all of that. So later the sister was now telling the... no, was it the brother that was telling the sister? I can't remember, it was long I read that one. It was the brother telling the sister that "you see, actually..." Yes, the sister caught the brother smoking in the house. Smoking and taking hot. Before he could pack it, she has seen it, she had been observing. But this one, he was caught red-handed. And then she said "ah!" He now said, "You see, you see, you see, calm down. I'm not... me, I'm not all those your... all these your SU people, oh. But I know that SU people, they don't normally divorce. That's why I just came into the fellowship and all those things. You are seeing me, you are knowing me now. So calm down." Then the sister now responded, "Ah! Hey! Trouble! I am also not a sister! I also came here looking for a Christian who will not put me away till death. We could just settle it. I also... let me tell you, I don't..." So whether it's a fictitious story I don't know because I read that only in a book. But they are just trying to express the situation of the church today. There is a mixture. And look, it's not a strange thing. What I want to make you understand is it's not strange. Apostle Peter told us, "as there were false prophets among them, there will be false teachers among you that will bring in damnable heresies." When Paul was leaving them in Ephesus, what did he tell them? He said after we are gone, some will come among you that will not spare the sheep, wild wolves among you. So he mentioned that false people will come. When the Lord was talking about the kingdom, he said the kingdom of God is like a net which a man throws into the sea and it catches all kinds of fish. At the end, what will happen? They will put the good ones into a vessel, the bad ones they will throw away. So when you say the kingdom of God contains the good, the bad, and the ugly, you are just talking about the Bible. You are just talking about the Bible. So many things that we are facing today is not Christian marriage problem. No! No, no, no. It is Christianity problem. Are you getting what I'm saying? It's a problem of the Christian life. The Christianity issue, where disciples don't find disciples, where disciples go into marriage with a crowd, with a multitude. You can't avoid that. These are the things that say "ah, in fact, hey, don't mind church today, wahala, oh! Whether you marry inside church... in fact, if you even marry, go and marry an unbeliever, because if you yourself should marry inside church..." the problem is not about church. The problem is that you are not taking time to understand the Bible. But what I'm trying to make us see is that when you see lying—we are now coming to conduct—there are certain conducts that is not a thing you find among those who have believed and have renewed their mind. They are learning Jesus. So if you as a spouse, you normally lie to your spouse, the problem of your marriage comes from you. Your mind is not renewed. But it's not about... that's not what I really want to handle. I'm just mentioning that. Putting away lying, let each one speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Look at the one I'm going: Anger now. Anger. Just anger. Just anger. We have looked at unjust anger. Be careful about that. You will be in danger of judgment. Just anger now. You are angry, what the person did was actually wrong. He says, "Be angry, but do not sin." But what do you see? Do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, nor give place to the devil. So if you are now angry with your spouse and it is actually a just one, how are you to handle the anger? Number one, let us try to simplify that statement. Look at it, NLT translation: "And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don't sin! So where the anger is now just, it is foolishness for the anger to gain control over you. "I was so angry! Ah! If you know the way I... look, I did it out of anger!" You are not a wise man. You're not a wise woman! "You will not blame me! There... no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." Don't let anger gain control even when the person actually did what was wrong. Be careful! The Bible says you sin when you allow anger to do what? To gain control over you! You're supposed to be in charge of the anger. You control the anger! Don't just say, "Ah! You know what? What is going on... hey! It started three days ago and I'm still angry with the person!" You are not living as a Christian. A mind that has been renewed! There is nothing... the sun should not go down. You should look for two ways, I tell people. How do I do this kind of thing? One way to do it is to forgive without the person asking for forgiveness. The other one is to seek to be reconciled back to the person. Go and meet the person like Jesus said. He showed us in the Bible. Say, "Go and show your brother his fault." Why? Because you believe his life... and you shall find rest for your soul. So when there is just anger, when will rest come to your soul? Within 24 hours you should be at rest! Because you don't allow the sun to go down on your anger. Either the person refuses to understand, you just forgive. Just forgive! Overlook the anger at times. And come again. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercy never comes to an end. You are doing that, not because the person is just. No! You are doing that, why? Because you are focused on who? On you! On the Lord. The basis of your rest, I want to say this one now. The basis of your rest in your marriage is a function, depends on what, on what sustains your focus. Mark my word. The basis of your rest in your marriage is a function, depends on what sustains your focus. If what you are focusing on in your marriage is your spouse, you will never rest! But if what you are focusing on in your marriage is the Lord, what will happen? You will always be at rest! We find rest for our soul. You will be at rest! We find rest for our soul. He said, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger, nor give place to the devil." What God tells you? One way to refuse just anger is to not give place to the devil. You tell me how do you give place to the devil? Very, very simple. I will show you that again in the Bible. We are taking these things one after another. I am really hoping that we will be able to get to... we are still looking at the aspect of learning from the manner of His life. Maybe the manner of His death might have to wait for the month of March before we'll be able to bring this topic to an end. Each aspect has so much to learn from. Each aspect has so much to learn from. Why you can be at rest consistently in your marriage. You can be at rest! You can be at rest! And may the Lord give us rest in the name of Jesus Christ. May you find rest for your soul, and then rest in your marriage in the name of Jesus Christ. How do we give place to the devil? How is the issue of anger connected to the devil? Now that... you know there are always two things, two things in the Bible that the Bible connects directly with the devil. This case of anger and the case of pride. If you look at Timothy, he says he should not be a young convert. If you want to choose a leader, don't use a young convert lest the convert become puffed up and then fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Again when it came to anger, he linked anger again with the devil. How is anger linked with the devil? Let us look at where it was looked at in the Bible very practically. Look at the book of James. The book of James. How is anger linked with the devil? Look at the book of James. James chapter 3. I will read from verse 13. James chapter 3 from verse 13. "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom." (James 3:13) I read that again in the NIV translation. Does anybody have NIV? NIV? Please can you use the mic to read so that everyone like can hear you if you have NIV. Give her the mic. James 3:13. [Speaker 3] "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom." (James 3:13) [Speaker 1] Now, what is this thing telling us about wisdom? What is it telling us about wisdom? It tells you that when you see somebody who is not meek, he lacks wisdom. He's not wise. "I am a man of war! I must be... and no! This is my right! Hey! Hi!" You are not wise people. You are not wise people. You say, "Ah, how is this so?" Very, very simple. Look at how they describe wisdom. We are not responding again, brethren. He slapped your right. Are you wise that way or you are foolish as far as the world is concerned? Slapped your right, you slap your hand back. Give me one, I give you two. You try the "don't try me, oh! Don't try me, oh!" You will see who... we like such kind of things to enjoy. We want that one... no, no, we don't want that one. Are you wise that way or you are foolish? If someone compels you to go one mile, you should go another mile. Are you wise or foolish? You have told your sister, you have told your spouse, you have told your husband, "This thing is wrong." He will not see. He's compelling you to go one mile. What did the Lord tell you to do? Add one more mile! I'm showing you even when it is just! The Bible teaches us what to do. That's what I tell people, many times you are restless. You are the cause of your restlessness. You are not learning Jesus. One thing you know about wisdom is meekness. Look at how NLT puts it. Look at it. "If you are wise and understand God's ways, live a life of steady goodness." Are you seeing it? When goodness is not steady, you are not wise. You don't know God's way. So that only good deeds will pour out. You don't reimburse evil for evil. If your enemy is hungry, you will give him to eat. If he's thirsty, you will give him to drink. Are you seeing what the Bible is making? He says, "...that comes from wisdom. And if you don't brag about the good you do, then you are truly wise." If you don't brag! "If you don't know me! I've been patient! If you don't know me! I've endured you! If you don't know me! I am this!" When you brag about what you have done... "If you don't know me..." you begin to brag about the good you do. You are not wise. These are the things that look like wisdom to us, but they are foolishness. Where am I going? Don't forget what brought us to this place. What brought us to this place to look at how it is connected to the devil? Look at it. "If bitter envy and selfish ambition... this wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic." (James 3:14-15) Can we take that in NIV translation? [Speaker 3] "But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic." (James 3:14-15) [Speaker 1] It's what the Bible said in the NLT translation: "But if you are bitterly jealous..." You know what it means to be bitterly jealous? You feel you have been offended and the person is having... you know, the other person is having a way. You are angry because that's what the psalmist said, Psalm 37 verse 1: "Fret not yourself because of evildoers." Don't fret yourself. No bitter envy of evil men. You know what it means by envy there? It's like when you see people do what is wrong and they seem to be having their way. That's what Psalm 37 verse 1... someone should confirm that for me. Psalm 37 verse 1. "Fret not thyself because of evildoers. Neither be thou envious of the workers of iniquity." That's what it's talking about when you have bitter envy. Someone is doing wrong and he's having his way. You know He's doing it, you know He's doing it. He's having his way. And you want to stop that person, you want to tell him "No, what you are doing is wrong!" You do two, He will do four. You do five, He will do six. When you have this kind of thing in your heart, he said the Bible says don't boast or lie against the truth. That wisdom you have does not come from heaven. It is earthly. It is sensual. It's demonic! You are already under demonic operation. "What! pastor! What are you saying? Are you seeing me with two horns?" Many of our actions are just demonic because we are not careful. He said, "Don't give place to the devil. Don't give place to the devil." When you allow earthly wisdom to manage your home, when you allow earthly wisdom, bitter envy—you want to also match life, you want to also get back at the person, you want to give the person back evil for evil. Do two, do four. Do seven, I'll do eight. It looks like you are wise. But you don't know what you are doing. You are giving a place to the devil. Don't give place to the devil. Look at how the Bible concludes in that verse 16. Look at how the Bible concludes. He says, "For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil work are there." (James 3:16) So how will there be peace in your home? Where envy is in your heart. Somebody is doing wrong and you are envious, you feel that the person should be right, you must give the person back, you want to make sure... this thing is in your heart and you are doing that, you are doing that. I want to ask you, would there be peace around your life? Can there be peace around your life? Confusion and what? Disorder and what? So I want to ask you, what is bringing disorder into your marriage? Is it not because of the wisdom that you are using to manage your home? You see that the Bible says, "Don't give place to the devil." So many times we give place to the devil and then we now begin to say, "Ah! In fact, hey! The marriage is getting difficult in this house! I smell the devil! When I dream, I see a monster with three horns, just above my neck! That must be my husband! That man, ah! My husband is now this demonic!" What is giving place for all of this confusion and evil work is the wisdom we are using to manage our home. When you use earthly wisdom, when you use sensual wisdom, those things they are giving room for what? For the devil to operate. "Don't give place to the devil." Now, what brings the second wisdom into your home? What brings this type of wisdom? It's what... you are not learning just anger. You have looked at you are angry without a cause, you are under judgment. But now, angry with a cause is what we are dealing with. Because the person slapped you, don't you have a cause to be angry? Oh! You are already angry! But you are now using earthly wisdom, you too slap your own back. What will be the next thing? The person will slap the third. You now say "the person is violent." Who is violent? So many of these violent in marriage, violent this, violent that... let people go and check. I am not supporting violence in any way. Definitely violence is wrong. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, from the part of the man, a man who lifts up his hand to physically beat what is his wife, he's a beast! I'm not supporting violence. I don't have any reason to do that. I'm completely against domestic violence for whatever reason. But what I'm trying to explain to you is that the root of some of this violence, somebody did not start by the state of beating. If the person did something you don't like and you just slap in your heart, you allow it, it results to no, the mouth, it results to what? To crying! It results to shouting! And that's what Proverbs 17 says. He says, "Look, be watchful. Don't meddle with strife. Because it is like the breaking of many waters." Someone should check Proverbs 17 verse 14. "The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts." It's like dammed water. Once that dam breaks, what happened to the water? It runs on! So don't meddle yourself in that kind of, "you are stupid," "you are mad," "you are foolish," "don't try me," "no," "hey!" Now you see the earthly wisdom going on. What will now happen? Evil, disorder, confusion. Then the other person will come to "Go! Go! Go!" Slapping, beating! "Ah! I can't hear you!" So it is because the problem begins with who? With us! Not with your spouse. If your spouse is mad and your heart is right, there will be no strife in the home. That's the point I'm making. I am not going to leave this place today as believers. What I want to leave with you is this. Particularly for those of us where the mind is challenging. Tell yourself, if my spouse is the person who is 100 percent wrong, what am I to do to make this marriage to work? Just assume that your spouse is the person who is the cause of your problem. What I'm showing you about the way of the Lord, if you must find rest for your soul, is you need to ask yourself, what is it that I am to do that will make this marriage to work? This person is mad, yes. You have said he's mad, he's mad. You have said he's stupid, he's stupid. You have said he's not understanding, he's not understanding. You have said it. Let's assume that that is what the person is. The question is, what has happened to you? Because you are learning from the Lord. That if you will go and put away this selfish ambition in your heart, you go and put away this evil in your heart—that's what you are learning from the Lord. Learn from me. You will discover that peace will reign in that home. What is making you not to rest, what is making problem to persist, what is causing it is that there is envy, there is self-seeking ambition. "Ah! Ah! I will not allow him to take me for a ride! Hey! No, no, no, no! Ah! Yea! Whoa!" That is what is causing problem. But what you don't understand, let me tell you this secret that you don't understand. What you don't understand is that when you are like that as an individual, it only shows how you don't know who you are in the Lord. Look at what the Bible says. Even as at the old covenant, you know what God said? He said "Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm, for they are the apples of my heart." He said, "Can a mother forget her child?" He says "She may forget, but I cannot forget you." Why? "Because you are engraved in the palm of my hand." In the Old Testament they were the Israelites, they were engraved in the palm of His hand. In the New Testament now we know, He says "Your life is hidden in Christ in God." We are no more in the palm of his hand. We are now hidden inside Christ, inside God! If you understand how secure you are, you will know that just like the psalmist said, Psalm 37... I need to conclude this this afternoon, it's almost 12:00. Can we answer some questions? Okay, look at it. "Fret not yourself because of evildoers, nor be envious of workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like what? Like grass, and wither as green herb. Trust in the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and feed on the faithfulness of God." "You dwell in the land and be faithful. Trust the Lord and do good. Dwell in the land and feed on his faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desire of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, He will bring it to pass." That thing you desire, "Ah, this husband, this wife is not doing this thing," commit it to the Lord. He'll bring it to pass. Verse 6: "He shall bring your righteousness as light." Are you seeing that? "And your justice as noonday." You know what that means? You know what that means? NLT translation: "He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun." God will bring everything out that this person is right, the other person is saying that He's wrong. God will do it in a way that nobody can argue it again. Look at what it said: "Rest in the Lord. Wait patiently for Him. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass." You know there are some wives and husbands like that. They will bring wicked schemes to pass. They will do things and you know this thing is wicked, this thing is not good. He says "Don't fret yourself because of him who brings wicked schemes. Cease from anger." Are you seeing it? "Cease from anger and forsake wrath. Do not fret—it only causes harm. For evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while, and the wicked shall be no more. Indeed, you will look carefully for his place, but it shall be no more." That's why I am done with that. You will be the one to beg God for your spouse. But when you don't know who you are, when you let wrath in your heart, you don't find rest in your own soul. And as you do that, you are giving place to the devil. And giving place to the devil, there is no peace. You are giving place to... how would you get peace where there is no... where you are giving place to the devil? Let us be wise. I know it can be very, very challenging sometimes. But like the Yoruba people will translate it, "ori bibe k'ole so ogun ori fife." Cutting off the head is not the solution for a headache. Because by the time you cut off the head that is aching you, you too you would have died. Let us pray this afternoon. We will continue the matter from here in the month of March. In the month of March we will be proceeding to... because we couldn't get to what we can learn in the manner of His death. Maybe in the month of March we will be... because we won't be able to finish this topic today. Each aspect has so much to learn from. Each aspect has so much to learn from why you can be at rest consistently in your marriage. You can be at rest! You can be at rest! And may the Lord give us rest in the name of Jesus Christ. May you find rest for your soul, and then rest in your marriage in the name of Jesus Christ. Learn Jesus today and find rest for your soul. When there is just anger, when will rest come to your soul? Within 24 hours you should be at rest! Because you don't allow the sun to go down on you. Either the person refuses to understand, you just forgive. Just forgive! Overlook the anger at times and come again. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercy never comes to an end. You are doing that, not because the person is just. You are doing that, why? Because you are focused on who? On you! On the Lord. Learn Jesus! Learn Jesus! Learn Jesus today and find rest for your soul. Learn Jesus! Learn Jesus! Thank you, Father. Blessed be your holy name, our God. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Let me invite our mother to close the meeting. [Speaker 3] In Jesus' name. Our Father and our God, we appreciate you for a time like this. We say unto you be the glory in Jesus' name. Lord, as we have learned today, we pray, O Lord, that you will help us in our mindset in the name of Jesus. Help us to control our anger in Jesus' name. Help us that our anger will not control us in Jesus' name. Help us that we will not give room for the devil in Jesus' name. Help us to manage our homes in the name of Jesus. Help us to relate well with our spouses in the name of Jesus. Help us, O Lord, to build our home as you desire in the name of Jesus. Make us good examples, even for unbelievers to see, in the name of Jesus. Help us, O Lord, that in this life we will not do that thing that we will regret in the name of Jesus. Help us, O Lord, in Jesus' name. Lord, we commit this ministry unto your hand. We pray, O Lord, that you will continue to expand this ministry in the name of Jesus. That this ministry will continue to touch lives in the name of Jesus. We pray, O Lord, for the people you are using in this ministry. We pray that you will continue to increase them in Jesus' name. Everything that they need, Lord, we pray that you will provide in the name of Jesus. We commit the work that is ongoing in this ministry unto your hand. We pray that you will support in the name of Jesus. You will raise men to support in the name of Jesus. We pray, O Lord, that everything shall be unto your glory in Jesus' name. As we go, we go in your name. Go with us in Jesus' name. No evil shall befall us in the name of Jesus. For in Jesus' mighty name we have prayed. Amen. And the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forever more. Amen. [Speaker 1] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission aid. Our regular activities are: Discipleship class, every Monday, 5:00 PM; Adolescent and Singles Club, every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Marriage Forum, second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Family Life Seminars, regular school out-reaches and every day counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite world rejoiced filling station, along Ijaere road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are: 080-338-61136, 070-336-13848. God bless you all.