Rethinking Crisis

[Speaker 1] When I look first at the flyer, we think Crisis Single and Courtship. What ran through my mind in terms of respect of courtship and relationship, the magnitude and the trend is actually worrisome. It's been very, very worrisome. And so, I believe that it's a time indeed for society to rethink. It's a time indeed for our generation, particularly those of us that call ourselves Christians. There's a need for us to rethink some of our values, rethink about our orientation and philosophy about life, particularly how they conform to the teachings, to the teachings of the scripture, how they conform to the ethics of Jesus. And so, I'm really glad to be with you, and I trust the Lord that as we fellowship together this evening, I'll be taking you through some very, very, very basic things about the matter of single and courtship. So that we can have a better focus, I tried to organize the talk with a theme: Understanding God's will in respect of marital choice. Understanding God's will in respect of marital choice. That's the theme under which I want to make the presentation or the discussion. And with that, I have two sections. The first section I'll be looking at Life Foundation for making choice. Life Foundation for making choice. And the other part, which we'll not get into that today because we'll be looking at foundational issues today, is the process of making choice. So under the theme, understanding God's will in respect of marital choice, today we'll be looking at Life Foundation for making choice. Under this topic, I have two sections. The first section is one, vital background to our discussion. Under that section, we have A, B, C, D, about three items to discuss. Then the other section, Adam and Eve model. Under that section, we have two things to look at: the Adam model, then the Eve model. I believe by the end of the discussion, I trust the Lord that we'll have addressed the issues that relate to life foundation for making choice. Now, let me need to make some conceptual clarifications. Now when I said life foundation, the matter of life there, I'm talking about life in respect of John 3:16 and John 17:1-3. In John 3:16, the Lord said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life" or have eternal life, depending on the translation that you are using. Now, when God was offering life to man, God wasn't offering life to men ordinarily that are dead. These men are alive, but that life is that they are merely existing. They were not living in respect of the life that God was talking about. So there is the life of God. When a man don't have that life, he's described as not alive or dead, although the man is biologically alive. So I'm talking about life, when I said life foundation, I mean life in respect of eternal life. When you look at John 17:1-3, the Bible says in John 17:1-3, that was the word of our Lord Jesus Christ himself. He said, John 17:1-3, let me quickly get there. John 17:1-3. Jesus spoke these words, lifted up his eyes to heaven. Are you with me? [Speaker 2] Yes. [Speaker 1] Okay. [Speaker 2] Yes, we are. [Speaker 1] Okay. Jesus spoke these words, lifted up his eyes to heaven and said, "Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son that your Son may also glorify you." Verse two, "As you have given him authority over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as you have given him. And this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent." Now, if you look at the word of Jesus here, he was talking about eternal life. And the presentation here is, "And this is eternal life." "This" here is singular, demonstration pronoun singular, this, not these. "This is eternal life." Eternal life don't mean two things; it means only one thing as far as Jesus is concerned. And for Jesus, eternal life is that you may know the only true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent. So when I said life foundation for making marital choice, I mean a foundation that is built on knowing God personally, having a personal encounter with God and with Jesus. That's what I mean by life foundation. So I believe I've been able to make a conceptual clarification about the matter of life foundation. Now under life foundation, I said I have two sections here: vital background to our discussion and then Adam and Eve model. So let's take the first one, vital background to our discussion. It is based on Matthew 19 so that we can get the three subsections quickly. It is based on Matthew 19. The three subsections are based on Matthew 19. I take my reading from verse three. This was the episode of the Pharisees and Jesus Christ. The Pharisees also came to him, testing him and saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" He answered them and said to them, "Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate." They said to him, "Why did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you to divorce your wife, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." His disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man and his wife, it is better not to marry." Jesus Christ answer to show you three important things that I said, the three subsections under vital background discussion. The first thing you will notice here is that Jesus, in discussing the matter of marriage when it was brought to him, his first response was, "Have you not read what he who made them at the beginning..." "Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning?" "Have you not read?" For Jesus, when you want to address the matter of things that relate to the marital institution that begins with courtship and then process of time and then you enter into the junction of marriage, if you want to address anything that has to do with it, it is important for you to know what he who made them at the beginning said. Say, "Have you not read?" The person who made at the beginning actually wrote down something. There is something that God said at the beginning. Once we get out of that box, we will run into serious crisis, we will run into problems. We'll find that in Romans 15:1-4 and 1 Corinthians 10:1-10 about the things that are written aforetime; they were written for our learning. So the first thing about a vital background to our discussion is that when we want to talk about the matter, we want to address crisis today, if we want to address how should we think, we should think what has been written. We should think what God has said. The second thing I'm showing you under that is the nature of unregenerate human heart. They asked Jesus, "But Moses allow us to give a certificate of divorce." Jesus said that Moses allowed that because of the hardness of your heart. Now you must understand that under the old covenant, the laws of God were not written in the heart of the people. It's only in the New Testament that he said, "I'm going to make a new covenant in which I will take out from you the heart of stone, I will give you a heart of flesh, and I will put my spirit in you so that nobody would need to teach his neighbor know the law." So before the coming of Jesus, we have this matter of men having a heart that is hard, a heart that is not yielding, a heart that is not submissive to the ordinances and the teachings of the Lord. And so he said, "Look, because of the hardness of your heart, Moses allowed you." If you look at Jeremiah 17:9-10, you see what the Bible says the heart of man is deceitful and desperately wicked. So you need to check: Am I looking at this matter from the point of a regenerated heart or a heart that is not regenerated? Which heart am I looking at it? Because if you are looking at it from the heart which is not regenerated, then agreeing with the ordinances, with the teachings, with the ethics and the value that conform with the word of Jesus will be very, very difficult. And so because of the hardness of your hearts, you may find yourself doing certain things and going outside the teachings of God. And I want you to see something here: Moses allowed them. So there are certain things it may look as if you are allowed to do, they may look religious and sensible, but they may not agree with the divine intention of God. Moses allowed you, but from the beginning it was not so. And then the third thing I'm showing you under this vital background, which is wrong attitudes to the matter of God's will that have developed over time. You notice that when Jesus said all of this, the disciples said in the last verse there, which is verse 10, his disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man and his wife, it is better not to marry." It is just better not to marry. Now why did they say that? They are looking at the terms and conditions that Jesus was describing. Formerly they were operating from "Moses allow us to divorce," but now they are seeing the Lord himself appearing on stage and he's telling them categorically and authoritatively that, look, in this matter you need to abandon Moses. If you want to follow God, then understand what God has to say in this matter. For God, divorce is not possible. It must come to pass then it must be on the case of sexual immorality; apart from that, any other thing else if you do so then you have a problem with your maker. Then the disciples said, "Ah, if it's like this, then it's good not to marry." Now, over time a wrong attitude has developed about the matter of God's will. It looks as if it is only in the matter of making marital choice, making selection, that the will of God becomes very vital. It looks as if it is only when you come to the issue of marriage, "Ah, I want to marry now. Oh God, God, God, I need to hear you. What is your will for my life? What do you want me to know?" Now, over time that is the wrong attitude that has developed. People now seems to overemphasize the will of God so strongly only when it comes to marriage. But I'm telling you what the Bible teaches is this: the Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways..." not just in making a marital choice. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will direct. So it is not only in the matter of marriage that making selection is important. You must have learned God, there must have been in other areas of your life, your career, academics, where to settle down, so many things in life before you get to the junction of marriage. You must have been walking with God. He must have been speaking to you. But it seems today it is when people want to marry that the will of God becomes very important. "Ah, please pray along with me, pray along with me." It's a wrong attitude. So as a result, you find a situation where people who have not been listening to God, who have not been walking with God, suddenly when they get to the junction of marriage, the God who has not been speaking to them in other areas of their life must now speak. What I call the fire brigade method: "Oh God, speak now, speak now, speak now." How will God, who has been a stranger to you all your life, suddenly begin to speak at the junction of marriage? Of course, with this kind of situation, we are heading for crisis. I think with that, I've been able to capture what I mean by vital background to our discussion. I'm going to go to the second section of Life Foundation for making marital choice. And this second section is about Adam and Eve model. And what I did here so that you can get it very clearly, I'll be making the presentation on gender basis. Adam model, I'll be looking at the male; Eve model, I'll be looking at the female. The Adam and Eve model. And why are we looking at this model? Because Jesus said if you want to look at this matter of marriage institution, in entering into it, in approaching it, you need to go to the beginning. Go back to the beginning, go and look at what has been said at the beginning. So we'll be looking at the Adam model and with that I'm speaking to the brothers. Now the Adam model, Genesis 1 and 2, particularly Genesis 1:26-28. I quickly read that. "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our own image, according to our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, over the cattle, over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' So God created man in his own image; in the image of God created he him; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them. And God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'" So we are looking at the Adam model particularly with those three verses of the scripture: 26, 27, and 28. The first thing we notice here is man was created in the image and the likeness of God. That's clear from that verse. The second thing, looking at Adam, the Adam model for the male: purpose preceded and superseded man's creation. What that means is that before God created man, God had a purpose in mind, there was a purpose in his mind. "Let us make man in our own image, let them have dominion." So there was a purpose that preceded and superseded the creation of man. In other words, unlike other animals, if you look at the creation from verse one before verse 26, there was no purpose preceding their creation. It just "Let there be this, let there be that." But when it came to man, there was a direct "Let us make man in our own image, let them have dominion." So man was created with a purpose which preceded him and which supersedes him. Three is man is to enter into this purpose step-by-step. If you look at the reading in verse 28, God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, have dominion." Don't forget man was created for dominion, but in getting into dominion, the first thing is that man needs to be fruitful, then he needs to multiply, he needs to fill the earth, he needs to subdue it, and then he will enter into his purpose, the real purpose for creating him: he will now have dominion over all. When God was creating man, God was not creating a man that is omnipresent like God. So until he multiplies and fills the earth, he cannot have dominion over it. So he enters into that purpose step-by-step, a step at a time. The next thing you will see in this Adam model, speaking particularly to the brothers, to the male, the fourth thing there is that there was a personal consistent relationship between God and Adam. You see that in Genesis 2:15-17. "Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man saying, 'Of every trees you have made, of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day you eat it you shall die.'" So you notice in this place that man had a personal relationship with God. God could give him assignment, "Go and do this, this is the place you should stay, take care of this, don't eat this, eat that." There was a line of communication. I'm looking at a brother who has a line of communication with God. I'm looking at a brother who understands that he was created in image of God, likeness of God, he was created to represent God anywhere he is. He was created with a purpose which preceded and supersedes his creation. And so he understands that I enter into this purpose step-by-step. This brother also understands that I must have a personal relationship with God one-on-one. I can take assignment from God, God can send me on errand. Again, if you look at this reading, the fifth thing: though created on the same day, man was created ahead of the woman at creation. The man was created ahead of the woman, although on the same day. In Genesis one, the Bible says he made them in his own image, and then in 28 he blessed them. But you need to look at that vis-à-vis Genesis 2. Before he blessed them and said be fruitful, it was after Eve had been created. So the man was first made, he was given some things to do along the line. It was not good for the man to be alone, then the woman came in line. So the man was created ahead of the woman in creation. It takes him that is ahead to be the head. Brothers, I take that again: it takes him that is ahead to be the head. The man was created ahead of the woman in creation. Another thing you will see there, the sixth thing: Adam understood God's timing. You will notice that in Genesis 2:23, Adam said, "This is now..." That was an exclamation, "this is now," which means all the while he had been seeking. So when God said it was not good for him to be alone, he was able to understand because he had a fellowship with God that it was a time indeed to seek a wife, was a time indeed to go into make selection, to go into a courtship relationship for the purpose of marriage. He had been walking with God, and because he had been walking with God, he was able to design his time. If you look at Psalm 1:1-3, "Blessed is the man..." you look if you look at the next thing that follows that, say, "he shall be like a tree by the rivers of water that bring forth his fruit in his season." I want to announce to you that every man has his season. Everything under sun there is time and season. We need brothers, we need boys, we need people who are matured with God who can understand their timing, the timing under God and season. It's not just that "Oh, my mate marry now I need to marry." Seventh thing about the Adam model is Adam could be inspired by God. We know this in what happened when he said, "This is now the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, she was taken out of me, she shall be called woman." As at this time, the only two people that were in existence was God and man. There were no brothers, no sisters, it was just man. But when the woman was brought and Adam saw the woman, he said, "This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, she was taken out of me." How did he know? The only way he could have gotten that information was that he could be inspired by God. He got that information from God. Job 32:8, the Bible says there's a spirit in man; it is the inspiration of God that giveth him understanding. What I'm trying to say that the foundation that a young man must build before he gets into marital choice, he must be sure that he's somebody who can be inspired by God. You have a walk with God and God can inspire you. As many as are led by the spirit of God are the sons of God. It throws a doubt on your walk with God, on your sonship, if you cannot be led by God. So these are the kind of brothers with correct foundation that can make proper selection when it comes to selecting. Once foundation is not there, there will be crisis. Now we go to the Eve model. Number one is Eve's creation was consequent upon God's eternal mandate for man and mankind. Why it was not good for Adam to be alone was not because Adam does not have a walk with God. Adam could walk with God, Adam could hear God, Adam could take assignment from God. Adam was an intelligent being. The reason why he should not be alone is that the step-by-step movement into God's purpose, God created man and mankind for the purpose of dominion. And the only way to go into dominion is that first he must be fruitful, he must multiply. So the reason why man cannot be alone is that there's a step-by-step movement that must go on. So man must first be fruitful, and he cannot be fruitful alone. So a woman was brought so that the fruitfulness can start. So Eve's creation was actually consequent upon God's eternal purpose for man and mankind. If life is just about multiplying, fruitfulness, materialistic thing, then we are not different from animals. If you look at Genesis 1:21-22, the blessing was also to animals. "Be fruitful and multiply, fill the waters in the sea." So if life is just about multiplying, fruitfulness, then we are not different from animals. It's beyond that, there's an eternal plan of God. We are looking for sisters who have a walk with God that can understand this. Number two about the Eve model is that like Adam, she was molded and shaped by God. You will notice that it was God that took the rib and then began to do the molding. So the same way, God shape and mold Eve. We are looking for sisters who are in the hand of God, sisters that God can handle, sisters that God can break and mold. We are not looking for rebellious, stubborn, that submission becomes a very difficult thing, obedience become a very difficult thing. They have not learned to be molded, to be shaped under the hand of God. And then the third thing about the Eve model is that she could be led by God, for it was God that brought her to Adam. You will notice that after God was through with Eve, the Bible says in Genesis 2:22, he brought her. We are looking for sister that can be brought, sister that can be led. We're not looking for sisters who cannot be led by God. If you cannot be led by God, then how do we come into marriage? It'll be a very difficult thing. So people grow in church, but they don't grow in grace and in the knowledge of the Lord. There is no personal making in the hand of God for brothers according to the Adam model. There is no personal making in the hand of God for sisters in line with the Eve model. And so by the time they come to the junction of marriage, you find what I call a mind that has not been renewed. A mind that has not been renewed, you have all kinds of thoughts, value, orientation.