Sex and Finance 2 (god Sex and Finance)

[Singing in the background] [Speaker 1] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God is a desire of godly offspring. These are words of revelation and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] We have just listened to some of them sound very funny. Some of them sound should it be like that? And another for some of them, there will be questions that we want to ask. But the reason why we are talking about these things is that by God's mercy, privilege, and grace, we have had opportunity to be with different churches and with different families. And we have had opportunity to hear people say a lot of things. We were in a church one day, it was marriage seminar, and a couple raised up their hand and said, "Sir, there's this thing about sex that we want to say." And then the couple went ahead, they asked their question. While the couple was asking the question, the founder, the leader of the church was busy trying to, anyway, he finished asking the question because there was a moderator. But before the moderator could call me, the owner of the church or the founder of the church said, "Please, he has this to say before we move on. This is Sunday and it's a holy day." I'm serious. He said it's a holy day, that questions about sex should not be asked on Sunday. I'm serious. He said sex should not be asked on a Sunday, that they should come for that kind of question during the week, like Monday, but Sunday is holy. Now, the reason why I'm saying this, I was in another meeting and a minister was asking me that, "Please, if husband and wife are having sex and the trumpet sound, will they go?" I mean a minister. He said he wants to clarify if husband and they are having sex and the trumpet just sound, will God take them? Now, the reason why I'm saying this is because we have a notion about sex that sex is dirty, that sex is perverse, that sex is not good, that sex is something that when we are doing, God will just turn his back and then he will not want to see what you are doing. We have that notion. That led to all this "let us put off the light because what you are doing could be shameful." All of these things are the things behind a lot of these things. I was speaking somewhere and the overseer was asking me that, "Please, how do you combine sex and brotherliness? I know that you are a brother, but how do you combine this your talk on sex and your brotherliness?" For him, it was something that should not be combined. He felt they cannot go together. So what I'm trying to say is because substantially, fundamentally, primarily, people don't know that God is a God of sex. I decided to call it that because I said that in a church and virtually the whole church raised up their hand that they have a question. I'm serious. They said, "Sir, God is not God of sex. God created sex, but he cannot be God of that." Okay, I now said, "Is God the God of Abraham?" They said, "Of course." "Is he the God of Isaac?" They said, "Yes." "Is he the God of Jacob?" They said, "Yes." I said, "So what did God call himself?" He said he is the God of their fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob. So what do you call God in that sense? He's a God of generation. So if God is a God of generation, God is not a God of sex? How do you get generation? It is because he is a God of generation, that is why he created sex. That's why he created it. Sex is not devil's idea. Sex is not devil's idea. One day, a young boy came to me, we also run youth development, and he said, "Sir, I need prayers." I said, "What's the prayer?" He said, "I noticed that I normally have some kind of attraction towards the opposite sex and I just want God to kill this thing inside me." I said if this thing dies, you cease to be a man. You cease to be a man. I said God created it, so the idea is not for it to die. And I said, "Listen to me, who should misbehave? David had a wife, in fact he had wives. Joseph did not have one. Somebody presented breasts and whatever to Joseph, he did not have sex. A woman was just bathing, a married man saw the woman and his body could not be in order until he slept with the woman." I said so even when you are married, having sex with your wife doesn't bring the discipline. It doesn't. So the God who created sex also knows that we have control, we can still live godly. So it's not about "once I marry now, I will not be able to commit." No, that's not the idea. If you are not disciplined before you are married, you will not be disciplined when you are married. That's the reality about it. But what I quickly want to bring to us, brethren, is when we are having this discussion, I am trying to tie some things together for us. I am trying to manage a lot of things inside the small time I have such that, and I'm trusting the Lord that even when I make some statements and I don't have all the time to explain all of them, there will be understanding in the name of Jesus. Amen. And the first thing I want to say in opening up is this. You will not realize that what makes sex in the man, the testosterone, that's the hormone, and for the woman, estrogen and progesterone, these two hormones that control sex, it's not from Shango or Ogun or Obatala or Valentine. It was God who created these hormones. Number two, it was not Adam who was thinking of a wife. It was God who was thinking of marriage. So marriage is not about human beings, marriage is about God. Adam did not know anything whether they are going to bring another one. Adam was just busy working. It was God who said, "No, he should be having sex." Am I making sense to you? It was God who said, "It is not good, there should be sex." Why? Because without sex there will be no generation. He is a God of generation. So the first thing I want us to understand from what the medical doctor is trying to make us see is that if you are not enjoying sex in your marriage, you are not godly. You are not godly. You are not like God. You see perversion of sex and all the bad things you hear about sex have made us to have a notion about sex that sex and devil work together, God and sex they are not. No, it is the perverted sex. It is the perverted sex. Satan perverted sex. So you see that when the Bible opens in the book of Hebrews, the Bible in Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled." It's not defiled. So which tells us that in the actual sense, marriage don't take place inside the church. What takes place inside the church is the ceremony of marriage. Marriage takes place on the bed. Marriage is not a church thing, marriage is a bed thing. What happens about what we do inside church, about the prayer, "a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife." Please listen. Once they say, "Now meet Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so," I'm talking about the wedding day, they'll say, "Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so," then they'll say, "Now we join them together, meet the newest couple." There's nothing wrong about that statement, but please fundamentally, nobody joins two people together. No minister joins two people together. All they have just done is ceremony of marriage. The man, that other ceremony only gives the man a wife. The man now go, he now leaves his father and his mother and joins himself to his wife. He joins himself to his wife. You'll be wondering what am I trying to say. The Bible says, "He who is joined to an harlot is one body with her because the two shall become one." Flee fornication for every other sin a man sins is outside the body, but he that commits fornication sins against his body. Why? Because actually when a boy sleep with a girl, the implication is that the boy is no more single, the boy is now coupled. There is a body and there is a head. When he leaves that one and sleep with another one, he is now a head and two bodies. When he leaves that and sleep with another one, it's now a head and three bodies. That is why many marriages are not stable today because of premarital sex. Every time, please listen, a penis enters a vagina, there is a joining. There is a joining. Why? God said so. The two shall become one. Why is there a joining? Because God says so. It is God who created the penis, it is God who created the vagina, and God says anytime they enter into themselves, they are no longer two, but they are one. So actually, a man does ceremony of marriage and that is where everybody can end it. They cannot join them. The man now take his wife. So when the Bible says, "A man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife," actually if you want to put it literally, is that a man shall leave father and mother and have sexual intercourse with his wife. Literally speaking in that scripture. He will leave his father and his mother because that intercourse he's having is not with his wife. He said, "Marriage is honorable in all, the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." God will judge them. So the reason why it must be his wife is so that he will not be a fornicator and he must not be an adulterer. That's why it must be his wife. So all this ceremony, anyhow they do it, and that's why I tell people please think very well. Is it only Christians that marry? So does it mean that the one that non-Christians do, God did not join together? You understand what we are saying? Because you have the mentality that it is when the man of God, they say, "Who give her in marriage?" You say, "Now God has joined, that we are representing God," that is not true. God has joined, what it means is that God has joined because anytime he made them male and female, but if that male takes a female and have sex with her, God will punish it. If he does not want God to punish it, what will he do? He make sure there is a ceremony and he gets his wife. He gets his wife and when he gets his wife, what does he do? Then he can have intercourse. So what God is actually saying is this, what I'm saying is that by the very things you call marriage, what God established is the art of sexual intercourse. What God established by marriage, when we say marriage, what God is establishing is that look, a male can have sex with a female. I am the one that says so and yes they can do it, but if they must do it, it must be a man and his wife. Anyone that is not a man and his wife, God has not joined. God is not joined. They are either fornicators or they are adulterers. That is the meaning of God joined together. What I'm trying to make you see is that God is at the center of sex. I'm trying to make you see that God is at the center. And I'm trying to make you understand if you are becoming more and more godly and you are not having good and better sexual life, check your godliness. Check it. When I say good and good sexual life, look at what we are just told by the doctors. You are having sex with your wife and one person is slapping, the other person is crying. A godly man cannot do that. It's a godless man that can do that. A godly man cannot do it. A man who knows Jesus, see let me tell you, when I met with my wife, I know virtually nothing about sex. I don't know about sex so much. I learned every art of sex from the Bible. I'm serious. The first thing God told me about sex is that "Listen to me, son, when it comes to revelation, how do I take you?" I said, "You take me from one level of glory to another level of glory." He said, "When it comes to sex, you must take this woman from one level of glory to another level of glory." I'm serious. I'm trying to make you see that God is at the center of sex. It is because we have a notion in our head and that is why go and check it today. You say your husband is sleeping with the secretary, your husband is checking one colleague. It's because you have not brought sex to where God wants it in marriage. If you bring sex to where God wants it, you know I don't know whether you have experienced when you have eaten and you are full, and then as you are going, somebody invites you, say, "Ah, come and eat bread." You say you are okay. Why do you say you are okay? Because you are full. You are full. The reason why a woman open her breast in the office and your penis is rising is because you are hungry. I'm just trying to make you understand something. The reason why believers are going into several extramarital affairs is because you have not brought sex to where God placed it. We always think it's one dirty thing, it's one thing, God is here, God there. That's why somebody can say that it's a holy day, you don't talk about it. But because of our understanding, our understanding. See let me tell you one thing. What I want you to notice is this. Please look at 1 Corinthians 7. That's the second scripture I want to point to. Just take a cursory look of that scripture and then we'll quickly turn another thing again and then we quickly move on from there. Are you there with me? Please, just a very simple look. We are reading from verse 1. "Now concerning the things she wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband." Please what is this thing trying to say? So who ordained marriage? Why did God ordain marriage? God has something in mind, is that not true? Now look at it. Why did he talk about wife, sex, marriage? Just look at it like this. Look at our principal officers in the university. You'll notice that they don't park anywhere. Where do they park? They have a reserved. Nobody just drive there, they have a reserved. Am I correct? Now other people can park anywhere they like. Why? Because they are not principal officers. They don't have reserved. So when they were reserving those things for them, were they limiting them or they were honoring them? So when a man don't understand that having it plenty with only his wife is a honor, he has lost understanding. Monogamy is not limitation, it's honor. It's honor. You don't need a reserved because man is the principal creation of all that God created. He can't be running around like the way goats will run, the way hens. No, there's a reserved. There is a reserved. So when you notice, see the reason why I'm saying this is that I don't know how you are handling your sexual life in your home, but if you are taking your sexual life lightly, you are taking the very heart of God lightly. You are taking it lightly. You are, you know because you have brought it to just about children, it's just about this. No, no. And that's what I want to be trying to make us see. Let us bring something back. You will see people sometimes somebody when I told people that we take time, I take time to sit people down and I teach them the art of how to have sex. "Ah, but you are teaching them?" I said from the Bible. They say, "Eh?" but what is on their face is that "why not something about faith, about holiness, about why are you teaching this?" But what they are not realizing is that the Bible that talks about holiness, that talks about faith, that talks about love, talks about sex. You see what I've noticed about us as believers is that we have a, and you see that's why when Pastor Megunle said something about, you notice that most people who are having sex reserve sex to the night for couples. And all the playboys of the world, they quickly do it in the afternoon before they get home. So how are they able to enjoy it in the afternoon? We only have some notion, you just one reserved, if anytime is still available just do it. And for the man, let me just climb and come down the way cock would just climb hen and come down. Let me just, you know just one of those things you just put there. So we are not taking time to engage our understanding of this thing. Now look at I just want to show us something, that's the first one that God has something in mind when he ordained marriage. But look at something. When he got to verse 4, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." The point here is that please listen, we have been taught by culture that polygyny is right, but polyandry is wrong. That is a man can marry more than one wife, but a woman cannot marry more than one husband. That's a product of the wickedness and the sinfulness of man. Neither polygyny or polyandry, none of them is correct. The woman owns the body of the man, he cannot just give it out to any other person. The man owns the body of the woman. If you notice what God placed here is both of them owns each other's body. Some of us have this notion, "the man can bring a child from outside, but the woman cannot." These are cultural wickedness that we have learned, they are not biblical. The biblical thing is none of them, the man owns the body of the woman just as the woman owns the body of the man. Polygyny is against God just as polyandry is against God. Now what makes you think that the woman can share her husband but the man, the woman cannot share her husband, are you getting it? But when it turn the other way, the man can do what? Why do we think that the woman should not share, okay why do the man let me put it this way so that it will be clearer. Why do we feel that the woman should not mind if she has to be sharing her husband with somebody, but the man is feeling that I cannot share you with another person? Are you not seeing that number doesn't matter until it touches us? Maybe you're not understanding me. If they say there was an accident, five people died, you just say, "Eyah, Nigeria." After two, three minutes you move on with your life. Am I correct? But God forbid, there was an accident, your husband died or your wife die, in two, three minutes will it be over? Number don't matter until it touches us. The only way to know that you are doing evil is when you do to people what you don't pray as they done to you. So what justify polygyny is the wickedness of man. You know evil, why is it that when it touches you it now matters? You see we have been brought up, I came from a polygamous home and the idea is that if she don't do it, look, you are supposed to share it, even the old women they're supposed to bring the younger ones and then we begin to teach and then we begin to have an even we as Christians, we just think you know a man can do that but you know it is we women how we have also brought ourselves into this wicked evil doctrine where we have a cultural acceptance for polygyny but we frowned at polyandry. But please listen to what I want to show you. He said, "Do not deprive one another except for a time that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." Are you following me? Do not deny yourself except you want to fast. Do not deprive one another except by consent for a time. What does that mean? If I want to fast, I will not be having sex, I need whose consent? If my wife want to fast and then will not be available for sex, that's why somebody said that if you know natural method is not making you enjoy sex, please go to there are several other methods because I've been in homes where they say, "Sir, what happened?" He said, "What actually made me angry that day was that we have both decided that if I'm fertile we should not be having it. Now he came back and he seen that I'm fertile and he just frowned and I was wondering why he was frowning after we've both agreed." He said, "Actually what happened that day was that I just wanted it and I expect that she'll at least just cooperate a little." And he said, "Look, that's how I cooperated for the first one and we had that child we are not ready to have." And they just begin to talk and then I just said, "Goodness, why not do something about it? Once you fight like this, for how long would we live? There are better battles to fight. There are better battles. Don't mind this, that is how the second child came. We have agreed, we have agreed, and then he came that day and I told him." He said, "No, God will do something." And God did not do anything and now the child is here. We are managing them for now. That is when that day when I tell you I'm not available and in front I just got mad. I said but please are there no better battles to fight? There are better battles to fight. But you see the point I'm making is this. He said if you want to fast, do what? Get the consent of the other person. Please I want to show you something about God. You know he has said what God had joined together let no man put asunder. What that scripture is saying to understand joining from the Bible, joining means sexual intercourse. There's no better way to interpret joining than that. It is clear in scriptures, joining means intercourse. Now he's saying that whosoever God have allowed to be having sexual intercourse, let no man try to stop them from doing so because every other one will be adultery. Every other one, are you understanding me, will be fornication. So the one that God has said be having it, let nobody try to break them. Let people give them support to continue in that one because that is the one. Once you don't give them support to be able to continue in that one, you are not doing what God wants. Are you getting the point he's making? Why God wants it to be there because he said, "He that put away his wife and marry another commit adultery." Are you understanding the point? So let us see how we support them. Now look at something. God is now saying please if you want to do this sexual intercourse, please don't put me at the middle. Don't say because you want to come and fast. Even me, I'm not putting asunder. It's the same thing you find in our redemption. The wages of sin is what? Death. When God want to take away sin, can't God just say, "You sinned against me, I've forgiven you, all of you come." Can't he do that? When did we sin against? When the wages of sin is death, can he not just okay the wages of sin no more death, all of you come? Can't he change it? But because he has said the wages of sin is death, when Jesus said "Can this pass over me?" No, the wages of sin. When it even touches God, God had to die. That is why when you see people who don't stand by God's word, they are godless people. God stand by his word. The wages, he could have just do you know what it means to die on that cross? When everywhere, everywhere it was a winter, people were standing by fire to get warm, somebody was sweating blood the same night. Are you following me, brethren? You know Peter had to go and stay where they'll put they were by fire to get warm. It was the night that Jesus was sweating and the drop was like blood. You think that death was easy? But because he had said so, he stood by his word. That's why when you find people who are not consistent, they don't know God. They don't know God. So you'll notice that when it come to the matter of sex, God said, "Please, please, please, I have said something, let no man put asunder. So if you want to come to me, first go and get consent. Go and be sure that the other person is happy that you are coming. If you don't get the consent, please don't come. Don't come." You see the reason why I'm making us to see, I'm trying to make you see God at the center of sex. I'm trying to make you see God around sex. Now look at it. Look at this, brethren. Are we created in the image of God? In the likeness of God? When we are born, can we die? Can we really die once we are born? Does a man die? He only transit. Am I correct? Man don't die. Why? Because he's like God, he's forever. He doesn't die. If you drop this body now, he's still alive. That's why the rich man could say, "I have five brothers," he could recognize Lazarus. It was another position again. That is why death, physical death, is just the beginning of a journey. It's not the end at all. It's just starting. That's the reality, it's just starting. The Bible warned us that as much as possible, take this to encourage yourself that after death we are just starting. Encourage yourself, don't see death as the finality because we are just starting a journey. Am I correct? Please listen. That man that you said does not die, he lives inside the body. So which means actually man actually lives inside this body and he will put the body down. Is that not so? Now if man will put this body down, it is man is actually a bodiless being. The way you see Jesus, you know what kind of body? A glorious body. There is a body that is not this body. Am I making sense to you? Am I making sense to us? The way they saw Jesus and he could eat, that is the man, that is man when man is in his glory. He can pass through anywhere but he can still eat and he can do anything like you saw in Jesus Christ. This body is because of sin, it's going to die. But we will soon be changed to put on another body. Am I correct? Now brethren, that man that is a spirit that lives inside this body, what normally produces them? What produces them? So if sex is just biological, how does it produce spirit? If this sex is just a biological activity, how is it that when they cry "He!" that thing that cry can never die again? And that thing that can never die again is the real man, which means the real sex is not just biological, it's spiritual. The real man is not the DNA, the all those things that our doctors can help us. All those garments, genetics, all that one is for maggot. Am I correct? Is it not food for maggot? So the real man that comes out of it is not all those things that you have all those genotype all those things, that's not the real man. But how does sex produce it? At which point did that thing that cry "He! He!" at which point did it become spiritual? What I'm trying to make you understand, that you must understand that when God blessed Adam and he said "Be fruitful and multiply," they'll be producing children by sex, but not this one that we are talking about. Are you understanding me? It was sin that brought death. They will have been multiplying and they will never die. Am I making sense to you? When he said "Be fruitful and multiply," sin has not entered. Am I correct? And as at that time they can never die but they will be having sex. They will not be like God, they will be producing. And Adam will still be there and God will say "I'm the God of Adam, I'm the God of this, I'm the God..." and we'll still be seeing Adam till now. Am I making sense to you? How did God make that possible? By sex. So in the actual sense, if not that sin came in, sex is never something biological. What I'm trying to make you see, brethren, I don't know how your sexual life is in your marriage, but what I'm trying to make you see is that if your sexual life is not good, the spiritual man is dying. It is sex that produce that spiritual man. That is why he said, "Quickly come together so that the devil..." Devil understand spiritual disconnection, he is a spirit. So that Satan don't tempt you. Satan is a spirit, he understand spiritual disconnection and he understand spiritual connection. Do I tell you how I know? When God told him, "Go, everything that Job have, go and destroy it." He went there, he destroyed everything. God said he should not touch only Job. When he went to destroy everything, why didn't he touch his wife? Are you understanding me? When you say, "My wife is my property," no, these are cultural useless beliefs. Your wife is not your property, your wife is you. Your wife, when he said "Don't touch Job," the Satan didn't touch the wife. But he killed all the children. "It's just me and my children, they can be at the other side." I don't know where we came with all those useless belief. Children are third parties in your marriage. And mind you, you cannot hold them for long except God help you. I've seen people say, "Yes, my child, I will do everything, I will do everything." By the time the children grew up, they forget the person laboring over them. Except God make their heart to turn towards you, they can forget you. So when you throw away your husband, throw away your wife because of the children, God can also turn them against you because they are third parties. They are third parties in your marriage. Somebody gave a very fantastic example and I love to give it here. It was in a seminar, it was Baba Adeshida. I believe you all know him, many of us know him. Am I correct? He was in our chapel one day and he gave this example. He said, "This is how it should be: husband, wife, children." Husband, wife, children. That it must not be it must never be like this: husband, children, wife. He said because by the time these ones goes, there will be gap between the two of them. No matter how you do it, what God has said is "a man shall leave father and mother." In fact, if they are 30 they are still in your house, you start praying. "Where is your husband? Where is your wife? Shouldn't you go? Oya go." You don't pray for them to stay with you forever. If you are praying that here, raise up your hand. That is why what joins a man to his wife is more than what joins them to his children. And I want to ask you, if you cannot dissolve fatherhood, why are you dissolving marriage? I don't want to go into the depth of that one this afternoon. If you go and carry certificate "we are divorced," you have divorced your wife, you say you are divorced and then you go and marry another one, isn't it? But go carry certificate and say you have disowned your son, so he's no more your son. If you carry that certificate, is that son no more your son? Brethren, if you carry a certificate in your hand that your son, is that yours? No. If you carry a certificate in your hand that your son is no more your son, he's no more your son. Brethren, if you carry a certificate they give you in the law court, you went to file a motion "disown," and then you disown and I give certificate "this person is no more my son, he cannot share in my property," you can have that certificate, but in reality that son is no more your son. That is the stupid thing we are thinking about divorce certificate. What joins a man to his wife is stronger than what joins children to their parents. I don't want to go into the depth of that one this afternoon. But I'm trying to make you see the why you must you must understand why you must do everything to protect your marriage. When you say your marriage, what are you protecting? Your sexual life. Please, they told us something now. If you want to enjoy it, you want to enjoy it if you put it at night, they say you start during the day. All those things to make her happy, make her smile, make her happy, make her that, it is towards sex. But it's affecting her emotions, it's affecting her health, it's affecting. Do you notice that if it is not about sex you planned the sex for somebody else, you will never make her happy. You will never. Are you understanding me? When we say protect your marriage, it is protect your sexual life because every other thing ties around it. I want to ask you, please look at it practically. As a man and as a woman, I'll first take it for the men. When you try to have sex with your wife and she says, "No, no, no, it's not possible," do you notice that except you are disciplined and except you control yourself, you become disconnected? True or false? You just feel unhappy. You notice that you are disconnected. You want to say, "I'm coming," you just notice that you are not just happy. Something just disconnected. Your spiritual man becomes not normal. The inside man becomes abnormal. Am I am I I'm trying to be very practical here. You will notice that if you're not careful, the following morning, say, "Dear, will you..." he said, "Okay, no problem." Am I right? Am I speaking the mind of men here? That's the reality. You will notice that somehow you are it is except you are properly disciplined you will now say, "No, she's more to me than that," you now try to control yourself, put away your bitterness, then try to be normal. You see you are trying to make yourself join because your spirit man have been affected. I'm trying to make you see that sex is spiritual. You are now trying to deal with bitterness, you are trying to deal with anger, things that God said "put away bitterness, be angry but sin not," you begin to apply scriptures. You see you are bringing spiritual things to deal with the matter because there is a spiritual disconnection. We do these things but we don't see the applications. If on the other hand let it be for the woman, in fact that is the worst. You know woman is just one egg per 24 or 25 days, you say monthly period. For men, you know the thing is just producing and so if a woman comes to a point you see that she's the one asking for sex, you know she have passed through so many before she because normally you are supposed to work on her to bring her to that point. But if her body is now asking for sex and the man says, "No," go and check the woman. You will see the same disconnection. What I'm trying to make us see, people of God, when we are talking about how sex should be, darkness should be coming to learn from light. Am I making sense to you? Because sex is a light. Sex came from a God of light and we are children of light. So they should be coming to us, "How are you enjoying this thing? It is our father's business. Let us tell you about our father's business. We will tell you about our father's business because it's our father's business." Children are heritage of God. Sex is God's business. One of my in my church, it was me that was saying some I was telling the children something. I was telling them that even the family to which you are born has been designed by God. The person that should that should supply the DNA and the God have for God told Jeremiah, "While you were in the womb, the one the where you should come from, God have designed that it should be Amram and Jochebed that should bring Moses." Look, I'm trying to make you see how God is in the business of sex because if God is not in that business, his program and his agenda will be affected. It's our father's business. So we should be the ones that will be teaching, that will be telling people, "This is how to do it. This is what you do. This is how you do it. This is this is how oh, you don't know, this is what you should do to enjoy it." And when Pastor Fagun was saying that "look, you need to learn if you don't know." Please if you you're learning career, you are learning this, you are learning that, you are learning, you are learning, you are learning, and the very thing that makes your makeup of humanity you are not learning it. Why? Negative attitude. "God will normally go and hide when you are having sex." And so when I was to respond to that man, I said, "If it is the man and his wife, heaven straight." He said, "Eh?" Rapture if the trumpet sound and they are having, they will go heaven straight. Just as you you can see the kind of thing when I said okay, you can be okay. So for him a man want to have sex sometimes, "Hey, I hope trumpet will not sound, let me quickly do it." But that tells you what goes on in their marriage. He hope thinking that trumpet will not sound. Oh goodness, are you understanding me? For a man to say so, that tells you the kind of thing. Look, let me tell you, distorted knowledge about sex is a Satan agenda. Distorted knowledge about sex is a Satan agenda. We should have the correct knowledge. And as I try to bring something together, as I try to bring something together for us, please look at some I want to quickly turn us to something in Proverbs. Please let's read something in Proverbs. Quickly something in Proverbs, I want to I want to quickly bring the two together and then so that we can be talking about leaving this matter of sex and then if you have a question you can then let us look at the question together. Proverbs chapter 6. Now I want us to first see something in Proverbs chapter 6 around verse I'm trying to skip some of the scriptures. Let's first take between 6:27, 27 let me start from 27 then we'll go to chapter 5. "Can a man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals and his feet not seared? So is he who goes into his neighbor's wife, whoever touches her shall not be innocent. People will not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is starving. Yet if he is found, he must restore sevenfold." He's talking about sex, we are going somewhere. He's talking about adultery, he's talking about when you go and do it before or extra, you are actually stealing. Don't say do not steal, steal is not only when you take somebody's money. He says, "Yet when he is found, he must restore sevenfold. He may give up all his substance, all the substance of his house. Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. Okay, he who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get and his reproach shall not be wiped away. For jealousy is a man's fury, therefore he will not spare in the day of revenge." Please we will look at all of these things. What is the Bible calling sex in this place? What is sex in this place? What is sex? Is sex a fire? Is sex a fire? Is sex a fire? Is the emotion of sex a fire? Can a man take fire in his bosom and not be burned? I'm trying to make you see what the Bible is used to qualify sex. What is he calling it here? A fire. It's a fire. What I'm trying to make you see when you're talking about emotions, the emotion of sex is a very powerful emotion. It's a consuming emotion. Are you following me? It's a fire. What I'm trying to make you understand is that when your partner is talking about sex and he desires sex, you need to understand the reason why God says do not deprive each other because it's actually like what? Actually like a fire. Am I making sense to you? Look at the other one, chapter 5. I want us I want you to see how God describe sex again. Somebody has said, you see women say, "Is it food?" Am I correct? Sisters! What do you normally say? "Is it food?" Let's see what God says about it. It's actually food, but it is let's look at it. I want to read chapter 5, I want to read from verse 15. What did he say? "Drink water from your own cistern and running water from your own well. Should your fountain be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the street? Let them be only your own and not strangers with you." So in this place what was used to describe sex again? Water. What did God call sex? Water. So it means if you drink it now, what happen? How often do you drink water in a day? I'm giving you the idea of God about sex. So when medical said do it as frequently as possible, it's good for you, God has said that before. It is you who didn't see it there. It's like water. How good is water in your body? That is what medical is telling us now, that it's good for your heart, it's good for this. God has said it before, it's like water. It's an essential part of life. I'm saying whatever you can do, I made a statement and I'm repeating it, whatever you can do to enjoy your sexual life, please do it. Whatever you can do to enjoy it, it is like water. It's something you give one day before yesterday, today you are coming again, it's water. It's water. Am I making sense to you? I'm showing you the word of God. The word of God, don't you know what the word of God? Whatsoever things are written, they are written for our learning. Let us give attention to scriptures. The person who taught me how to caress, how to do caressing, was God. I'm serious. I learned it from scriptures. It was God that made me to understand that look, what they are saying medically now, the more patient you can be to make her come to the highest of this glory, then you are glorious. I'm talking about the way me I learned sex. So when the way one day when my wife said, "Ah, oh, my husband is a technician," I said, "Yes, I'm becoming glorious." Yes, God had told me that. Because before you can bring her to that place, you must have settled so many things: emotions, her mind, and this. Do you know that it is not women that live please listen, it said "a man shall..." Have you ever seen a woman shall leave father and mother? Who live? A man live to be joined to his wife. So our wives should be in their parents' house. Where are they? Are they not in our house? So why is the man leaving? Why didn't he say "a woman and a man shall leave father and mother"? Are they not leaving? See the point is very clear. The point is this, the extent to which a woman will leave her parents depends on the extent to which the man cleave to her. Your wife can be married to you and she still be missing home. "I remember my dad. My mom can be very nice." A woman should not be in your house and be missing her parents. It is the extent to which you cleave to her that will make her leave them. And fundamentally about this thing is that once you don't design a life that look, it is not only me that will be drinking this water, is that he said "drink it out of the well." Please get something. The water is in the well, you are drinking out of the well. Oh goodness. Do you know that the more you take water out of a well, have you studied the science, the well gets fresh. If you have sex with your wife and she's not constantly refreshed, you are not drinking correctly. Are you following me? As you are drinking it, it should be fresh water. That's why it's not about like goats. No, it's not like that. It is something designed by God for something higher and better. You see many times we don't prepare for marriage when we enter them. We just enter because "I am now 35, I'm now working, I'm now have money, so let me marry." But many times we don't prepare for marriage. I know one young man was saying, "Sir, my father normally I never I've never seen my father kiss my mother." I said, "So your father is now the scripture?" He said, "You see, my father never did that, so I never had that kind of thing." I said, "Young man, you never prepared for marriage." Please it's like water. I don't know what your understanding is. And he's saying that the water is from a well. That thing you are calling vagina is a well. The more you take out of it, the more it should be getting refreshed. If the woman is not getting refreshed, she's not getting happy, she's not becoming more attached to you by reason of your sexual life, it means the way you are living with her is not correct because for her sex involve her mind, her soul and everything. That is why the for a woman, her sex organ is not the vagina, it's her mind. Go and ask women. Their mind is the sex organ. So if you are drinking the water and the mind is sorrowful, the mind is not happy, the mind is down, you are drinking bad water. You are not drinking your water correctly. You are not putting your pressure well. Maybe you are just turning the water. No, there's a way to take the water. Are you understanding me? It's a source. It's a source. Don't you understand that it is the source of life? The man, the woman is from the man, but the man is of the woman. Go and check scriptures. The man is of the woman, there's no man without a mother. She is a source. You are drinking, and the source must constantly be refreshed. When you see somebody else's wife and you are doing like you are doing like this, it's because you didn't keep your own garden well. If you keep your own well, you will say "Wow! Ah, ah." If you keep your own well you will like it. You don't need to do like this. It's because you didn't keep your own. Didn't keep your own. I'm making many of these when you see a man who lust after a woman, all of these things, the reason why we are seeing these things even inside church is because we are not making our children to see that God is at the heart of sex. Any child who don't see God and sex together will be godless. When they begin to see God inside sex and that they can fear God in the matter of sex, go and watch them, they will be pure. They will be pure. But separate God, "no, sex is this, you know, it's a canal thing," this same orthodoxy they are doing it in the Western world. How pure are their children? But when you bring God to the center of sex, bring God to the center, and you will see how pure our children will be. Sex is a water. Please let us learn to drink this water correctly. It's something to drink. Let your fountain be look at verse 18, "Let your fountain be blessed." Are you seeing it? "Let the fountain be blessed, bro. Let the fountain be blessed. Let it be something refreshing and rejoice with the wife of your youth as a loving deer and as a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you." Madam, that breast is not just to breastfeed. I'm showing you Bible. The breast is used to breastfeed, the breast is first for him. That's the scripture. The breast is for him. Breast is a sex organ. I was speaking to a woman one day, she's always, I said, "Madam, why are you like this?" He said, "After all, when we are breastfeeding they are seeing it, so what are we covering it for?" You see that's misconception. Because sight is a sex organ. Breast is a sex organ. Apart from intercourse there's outercourse. Oh, are you following me? It was Jesus that said so, "A man that look lustfully at a woman has committed adultery." Where? In his heart. There is intercourse, there's outercourse. That is why notice today, check our women, breasts are outside. It's a satanic thing. I'm not Deeper Life, please understand me. I'm not preaching any church, I'm preaching Bible. "Ah, maybe you have Deeper Life background." I don't have Deeper Life background. You know we have this notion that certain things go with certain churches. No, let us teach truth as truth. Let us teach truth as truth. When you expose your breast, you are exposing a what? A sex organ. It's a sex organ. That is what the person who did this said. And supposed to be enjoy, you know what it means when you are inside the room don't wear what will be covering it all the time. When you that is why I like ah, now I'm so happy that the children are gone. We have come back to default. They were disturbing us at a point. Now they are gone. And so she can just dress anyhow. She can just ah, I'm enjoying it. So when you put your own outside, I just eat. Do you know that sometimes when I see women open their breast I just I mean it nauseates me? I just because I've enjoyed I'm full. I've checked inside the house I've seen the one all those your attire of harlot that you call. I've watched my own wife, I'm full, I'm satisfied. So I tell her, "This thing don't cover it well, this nice one, this nice chemise, this one cover everything? No, the one that cover everything? Don't be seeing it." Are you understanding me? I'm full. That is what God ordained it. That is the ordination such that when you come out of that place, you are secured. May your home be a security. Amen. Oh, may your home be strong. Amen. May your home be formidable. Amen. May you be so connected that you cannot be disconnected outside. Amen. That's the mission of this thing. And let me tell you, the reason why we joined finance to sex is because once your sexual life is not right, your spending can never be correct. It's your sexual life is not right, your spending can never be right. The issue, the problem with money is not money. The problem with money is the attitude to money. What gives the wrong attitude is that there was no connection to face money. They were disconnected in facing money. If they have been disconnected, that's why I told you if you don't exercise some discipline, by the time you say, "Dear, you say you will transfer," "I will do it, I will do it." I said I will do it. Ah, I will do it. It's about sex though, but it's not about money. Do you know that what makes people when you talk about joint accounts, single accounts? I'm not concerned about all those accounts. Whether you want to have 20 accounts or you want to have one account, it still doesn't mean that you are spending together. You can have 15 accounts and you are still spending together. And you can have one account and you are not spending together. If there are 15 accounts and they are connected, they are connected such that the woman enjoys her home, the man enjoys her woman, money cannot separate them. Actually, let me tell you, the reason why people grab their money is because they feel insecure. Are you understanding me? The reason why your wife is holding her money and you too you are trying to, is because you are no more secured. What makes you not to be secured is that you are no longer one, you are now two. So you are not feeling secured with this. Look, the person to which you cannot commit your soul, you will never be able to commit your money. That's why we matched them together. Some people say, "Money is the problem." Money I say no, no. Disconnection is the problem. When we married, she came from a background "you don't spend with a man, hold your money well, hold it tight, hold it tight. You know men?" So when we entered, you know what she did? He said, "You hold your money, me too I will hold my own." I said, "No problem. You can hold your own, but please can we be enjoying my own?" So she was holding her own, we're enjoying my own. And we just kept I never discussed that again, just hold your own. You see if light shines correctly, it will outshine darkness. Light and darkness don't fight. May you be a correct man. Amen. So she was holding her money. But do you know it was after about ten years we were just talking one day, she said, "Ah, when did we begin to spend together? Ah, what happened?" We never argued it, but today nobody owns anything. There's nothing like her money or my money. There's nothing like that again. When you see a woman holding her money or you see somebody holding, the point is that something have disconnected them. There is a disconnection. And let me tell you, if you don't wash your sexual life, that is your marriage please marriage is sex. What will make you see a woman say "Wow!" some can just say, "After all these 20-something years, I am still liking this." She'll just smile. What gives her that joy? It's about sex though, but it's affecting her mental health. Once marriage is sound, once we do everything to make sure that we are both actively drinking from this water, you'll be surprised, it will affect every other thing about you. And the first thing it will start affect is your money. You will notice that you think together, you talk together, you plan together, you'll be spending together. Everything is you'll not be it's I don't know the high you will notice it you know it sounds strange, it will be so strange because it become so difficult if your soul has been tied to somebody, money is so irrelevant. It's so irrelevant. If money become so relevant, your soul is not in that marriage. Your soul is not in that marriage. We'll leave the matter here this afternoon. Do I say you should pray in my wife? Let's say we should pray. Let's just pray for one minute before we move to the next. Can you just can you just hold your wife? Can you just pray? I don't know what is going on in your we are going to have question about how to spend money, joint account, and all this, how to do that, how to do this, how to do that. But can you just pray? Can you just pray? Pray for one another. If money is a matter in your marriage, your soul is not in that marriage. I'm telling you there is something wrong with your soul. There is something wrong. There's something wrong if the money you know it means you have become so secured in your money but you're not secured in your marriage. That is the thing, that is what is going on. Pray for one another. I know there could be infighting, there could be some things. Some of us we have different situation in the home front, but first pray for one another that God help us. Help us. The Bible say where your treasure is, there your heart will be. If your treasure is your money, then your heart will be there. If your treasure is your marriage, then your heart will be there, it will not be in your money. I'm showing you the word of our Lord Jesus Christ. "Wherever your heart is, wherever your treasure is, that is where your heart will be." You cannot take your heart away from your treasure. If you notice that your heart is in your money, "this is my money, the money," it means your marriage is not your treasure. Your marriage is not your treasure. It's not. There are things to address about your marriage. There are things to look inward and say, "Why is my heart not in this marriage? Why is this marriage not my treasure? Why is it that this my money, my treasure? Why is it that no, my own money?" Why is my heart? Your heart is there because your treasure is in your treasure is your money. Can you talk to the Lord? Can you ask the Lord for help? Can you say, "God, God, you are the center of marriage." It was you who said it is not good, there should be marriage. You are the center of this thing. You are the center of it. Lord, help us to get it right. Lord, come to the center. Come to the center. Lord, will you bring us back to the center? We'll bring us back to the center. As a husband I want to listen to your word. As a wife I want to yield to your counsel. I want to yield to it. Lord, Lord, this money have put us aside, it has made us to fight for long because our treasure is not in our marriage. Lord, help our heart. Cause our heart to be corrected. What is challenging us? What is causing this challenge? What is causing it? Lord, deal with it. Lord, break me. As a husband ask God to break you. As a wife ask God to break you. Break me, break me. Help me not to hold oh God, I should not be holding to money, I should be holding to my marriage. Money is just a tool to be used in this marriage. It's not to control and dominate the marriage. Oh God, help me. My treasure should be my own. My treasure should be my marriage. Thank you everlasting Father. Blessed be your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. [Speaker 1] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development and mission head. Our regular activities are discipleship class every Monday 5:00 p.m., adolescence and singles club every first Saturday of every month at 10 a.m., marriage forum second Saturday of every month at 10 a.m., family life seminars, regular school outreaches and everyday counseling. For further counseling you can reach us at our location Life Camp by the First Bridge, Ilere Community, opposite Veryjoy Filling Station along Iijare Road, Akure Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all. [Song fades in then ends]