Sexual Responsibility in Marriage (the Marriage Bed and Adultery)

[Speaker 1] We thank our God again for today. We give Him glory, we give Him praise, we give Him honor, we give Him adoration. We say blessed be the name of Jesus Christ. We thank God for another second Saturday for the month of May. It has been God through January, February, March, April, and now we are in May. We trust the Lord as we open up again for today's marriage forum, marriages will be blessed, homes will be restored, relationships will be made better in the name of Jesus Christ. We have been considering this big matter of sexual responsibility in marriage and we have been going through it one after the other since the month of February. For this month of May, like what we sent online as invite for all of us, we noted that when we gathered in the second Saturday of February 2022, our focus was sexual responsibility in marriage. The burden of that meeting was how sacred is the sacredness God places on sex. This was the heart of February's meeting. We continued with sexual responsibility in marriage for the month of March and April, considering different aspects of what it means to be responsible in marriage. Still looking further in this matter that we have been considering for today, 14th of May, we are looking at sexual responsibility in marriage, but particularly we want to try and focus on this matter of the marriage bed and adultery. The marriage bed and adultery. As we normally do, once you have questions, please note them. Anything from 11:30, we'll start responding to questions. So if as we are speaking you have a question, please just go ahead and note the question. You can send your question as we are speaking, but we will start responding to those questions anytime from 11:30. So let's have a word of prayer as we move on for today. Our Father, we are grateful unto You. We thank You for Your love and Your mercies. We thank You for all who You are and all that You are to us. We bless Your holy name, our God. We thank You for making today again to be. Lord, as we gather unto You, Lord we pray that Your Spirit will work within us among us in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, we commit ourselves into Your hand. Our brethren who are joining us on Mixlr, our brethren who are joining us on Telegram, and we who are physically here, Lord we pray, reach to every one of us in the name of Jesus Christ. Let it be a time, O God, of refreshment in Your presence. Let homes be restored, let marriages be made better, let relationships be enriched in the name of Jesus Christ. In the midst of all of this, Lord we pray, bring salvation for sinners in the name of Jesus. Thank You, eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. We begin this morning with the topic: Sexual Responsibility, and our focus is the marriage bed and adultery. The marriage bed and adultery. We first want to go to where the Bible makes reference to the marriage bed in Hebrews chapter 13. As it says in Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed of marriage undefiled. Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed of marriage undefiled. But fornicators and adulterers, God will judge." We will compare this with 1 Corinthians chapter 7 that has become a major scripture we have considered in the course of our looking at sexual responsibility in marriage. 1 Corinthians chapter 7, I read from verse 1. As it says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-2, "Now concerning the things which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. It is a good thing for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband." By the time we are coming to polygyny, polyandry, monogamy, which we should come up with in the course of the year, we'll be expanding this better. But what I want you to note in this place is that it says, "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband." Something that cannot be shared, something that is not shared. It is not a man having several wives and the woman having several husbands. But that's not our focus for today. We are looking at the marriage bed and adultery. What I want to call your attention to first and foremost is that in Hebrews chapter 13, the Bible says marriage is honorable among all. For all human beings, the honorable thing is marriage. Fornicators and adulterers God will judge. When it came to this place, it says, "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me, actually it is a good thing for a man not to touch a woman." It's a very good thing. What makes it good is that everybody will be able to focus just on God because marriage comes with a lot of responsibility. Marriage has its responsibilities. Marriage makes a man or a woman not to focus only in trying to please the Lord; the person must also focus in trying to please the wife or the husband, the other way round. So anybody that goes into marriage has two individuals that the person must put on the yoke of pleasing them: the yoke of pleasing the Lord and the yoke of pleasing the spouse. Because if a man is truly yoked to the Lord, pleasing the spouse becomes a fundamental yoke. When an individual is truly yoked to Jesus and that person enters into marriage, then pleasing the spouse becomes another fundamental yoke because he's yoked to the Lord. That's the way marriage works in Christianity. When you see a man who does not see pleasing the spouse, when you see a woman who does not see pleasing the spouse as a fundamental yoke, can I quickly announce to you, that person doesn't know the Lord. That person doesn't know Jesus. The person does not understand Jesus. It is either the person is not born of God or the person does not know the Lord. But anybody who is born of God and actually knows the Lord, once the person enters into marriage, pleasing the spouse becomes a fundamental yoke in that person's life. That is why he says, "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman." That is, there will be only one yoke to carry. However, because of sexual immorality, it becomes a fundamental thing, it becomes an important thing, it becomes a good thing for a man to enter into marriage. Now, you know where we are coming from. It says marriage is honorable for everyone and the bed undefiled. Now, what makes marriage an honorable thing is that the only expression in which an individual is not dishonored is only in marriage. Once human beings go into sexual relationship outside marriage, they have in a way mortgaged the honor of being human beings. It is actually a loss of honor. So, why it is good for a man not to touch a woman, it's a good thing, he said that. And why it is good, I've explained. You are only yoked to the Lord. You don't carry another fundamental yoke that the Lord wants you to carry once you marry. The Lord will give you another yoke again, the yoke of pleasing your spouse. So it will be good if you face only one. But however, if facing the Lord alone is an impossible thing without having sexual relations, then you pick up another honor. So as marriage has responsibility, marriage also has honor. It has responsibility, it has honor. Now, he says marriage is honorable. Now, when a man has sexual expression—please listen to me, and when I say sexual expression, I'm not just talking of penile penetration, sexual intercourse alone—I'm talking of sexual expression in thoughts, sexual expression in imagination. Because the Lord Jesus said, "He that looketh at a woman lustfully has committed adultery or fornication." So fornication is not only when you sleep with somebody; you can also lustfully commit fornication and adultery. But the point we are making this morning is that we are discovering something very well: that the marriage bed is the only place where a man can have sexual expression and that man will still be retaining honor. That woman will still be retaining her honor. Once somebody goes into sexual expression and it is not on the marriage bed, the person actually mortgaged the honor of being a human being. One of the distinguishing factors, a unique factor, one thing that makes us human, is that unlike animals that don't have distinctive marriage beds—animals have sexual expression across, within, anyhow, there is no marriage bed—so when you see a man, when you see a woman having sexual expression outside marriage bed, what the person is saying is that I am a beast, I am an animal. So the marriage bed is the bed of honor. That's what I'm trying to make you see. It's the bed of honor. It's the bed where you are saying, "I am not an animal. I am not goat. I am not dog." Outside the marriage bed, what you are saying is that I am goat, I am dog, I am all those other things. That's why the Bible says, "Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, to avoid it, it is good to have a marriage bed." So the marriage bed is actually a provision to make a man retain his honor, to make a woman retain her honor, while having sexual expression. We have expanded before that outside the marriage bed—that was in the February edition, the sacredness of sex—we have established that outside the marriage bed, God punishes sexual expression. He says, "Fornicators (premarital), adulterers, God will judge." That brings us to another very important thing about the marriage bed. It means the marriage bed is a bed that makes sexual expression to be God-pleasing. Marriage bed is the bed that makes sexual expression to be God-pleasing. God is pleased. God rejoices over a man, over a woman that makes sure that everything about sexual expression is only within the marriage bed. Fornicators, as a young woman or a young man, you are not married and you are having sex? Oh, it's so unfortunate. Number one, you're an animal. Number two, the divine truth is that your life no more pleases God. So marriage bed is the bed that pleases God. It's a bed that pleases God. Now, it means therefore, by inference if we are going far from that, it means the marriage bed is a spiritual bed. That's the third thing. You know our topic this morning is the marriage bed and adultery. And I'm just trying to work on the marriage bed before I come to adultery. Now, the marriage bed is spiritual. What that means is that the marriage bed connects a man with the divine. It connects him with the divine. When a man is having sexual expression only within the marriage bed, the man is connecting with the divine. It's something spiritual. Sexual expression within the marriage bed is something spiritual. And so by inference again is number four: that the marriage bed is doing the will of God. The marriage bed is doing the will of God. The marriage bed is the bed of honor. The marriage bed, a man pleases the Lord. Three, the marriage bed is a spiritual bed. Four, the marriage bed is the bed that makes a man to do the will of God. Once sexual expression is on the marriage bed, you are doing God's will. It is the will of God. The marriage bed is the will of God. We are looking at the marriage bed as the will of God. If the marriage bed is the will of God, it means by inference again, number five, the marriage bed is a bed of life. I mean life, eternal life. It's a bed of life. People who put everything about sexual expression within the marriage bed have life. People who don't have life, they express sexual expression outside the marriage bed. One way to know that a man is not walking in life, has no life in him, is he's going outside the marriage bed. Now we have been able to capture five important things about the marriage bed. Now we are looking at the marriage bed vis-à-vis adultery. Vis-à-vis sexual expression that is not within the marriage bed. Every other sexual expression, whether in thought, in imagination, the Bible describes it as a form of immorality. So adultery is every kind of sexual expression whether in thought... the reason why I say whether in thought, I would like us to read the word of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. I read verse 27 and 28 of Matthew chapter 5. As it says in Matthew 5:27-28, "You have heard that it was said by them of old time, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." That's the direct word of our Lord Jesus Christ. So anybody that so at the point of looking, at the point of thought, at the point of imagination, adultery can be committed. And what is adultery? Adultery is any form of sexual expression outside the marriage bed for anybody who is married. What of fornication? Fornication is sexual expression outside the marriage bed for anybody who is not married. Now, we are looking at the implication looking at the marriage bed, looking at what the marriage bed implies from the Lord's angle. We want to actually look into this matter of adultery vis-à-vis the marriage bed. But one thing I've been able to make us see at the point of defining adultery is that adultery is not only penile penetration, sexual intercourse alone; adultery can also be in thought. That is very, very important. Now, I want us to look at some things in Proverbs chapter 5, chapter 6, and chapter 7. Proverbs chapter 5, chapter 6, and chapter 7. We want to pick the matter now from where we left last month. Last month we have been able to say that the lip of the immoral woman drop like honey, smoother than this, all of that. We stop at verse 8 last month. Verse 8, the counsel we were given is that in order not to find yourself in fornication or adultery, remove your way far from her. Do not go near the door of her house. I just like to practicalize something. Suppose you are inside the house and then you want to lie down on the bed, you realize there is a snake. [background noise] That is to illustrate what the Bible is saying: remove your way far from her. Sexual immorality, you must understand the wisdom. God says, "Remove your way." It's not something to pray about in the first place. The first thing to do is to move away. After you have moved away, you can be praying from where you have moved away. You first run out of the house for the snake. Then you can start praying, "Hey God help us, how do we kill this snake?" Do you understand what I'm trying to say? You don't stay on the bed and then you are praying. No, you will run out. "Hey snake, snake, snake, snake!" And then you begin to now look for what to do. And then when you get people to do it and they want to go and kill it, then you can be praying, "God let them see the snake oh." I'm trying so that you don't think I'm underplaying prayer or I'm making a caricature of prayer. That's not what I'm doing. I'm talking about praying according to scriptures. The first thing the Bible tells us about adultery is that if somebody will not fall into immorality, if you will not fall into fornication or adultery, you must learn how to stay far. You don't stay close and be praying. You don't stay close and be watching. It will not happen. You stay very, very far. You bring in all safety measures. You put in a lot of practical things in place. Practical things like two opposite sex will not stay in seclusion. You don't visit your fiance alone. And if you must visit, because he is your fiance, you don't have discussion inside the closed room. You stay outside where people can see you. I'm talking about practical things. I'm talking about running, stay far. You don't begin to share intimacy with somebody who is not your wife or husband. There's level of intimacy to share. You don't begin to get emotionally connected with an opposite sex. You don't create room. You stay far. You try to make yourself free. You don't say, "He's coming to greet me, we are mature enough, we can handle ourselves, we'll be in the same room." You are confused Christians. You are not mature Christians, you are confused ones. So he says, "Stay far." Why must you stay far? Why? Why do we want to stay far? It says, "Lest you give your honor to others." So one thing about once we start looking at some things about adultery, about fornication, is that it is a loss of honor. Are you seeing it? It says, "Lest you give your honor to others." And the way the Bible puts it here calls some things to my attention. I've shown you the beauty of the marriage bed. Why it is good to wait till you are married, and if you are married, you stick to your bed. I don't know whether next month or the following month, we'll be looking at this issue of polygamy, polyandry, polygyny and all of that, that is becoming an issue in the social media today. Where is the place of God? Because there are so many wrong things flying around us. His own wife, his own wife. Is it wives or wife? Is it husbands or husband? Anyway, the wickedness in man and the patriarchy and the blindness in the masculine gender will make him think that he can share his body with another woman but his wife cannot share her body with another man. You see the madness. You see the foolishness. I'm only showing you we will come to that later. Is it only polygyny that we must encourage? A man having more than one wife? If we are encouraged polygyny then we must also preach polyandry, that women too can go and have as many husbands as they want. And let's see whether a man will be willing to share his wife. So we will come to all of that later. But what I'm addressing today is something very, very important. That if you are not married, the reason why you must run from masturbation, why you must run from pornography, why you must run from cybersex, why you must run from phone sex, where you expose your body to one young man over the phone, he too exposes some part of his body and then you are watching it and all of that, and then you begin to do all kinds of things, and then you begin to show some parts, and then you begin to video it and send to the person... All of this, the reason why you must run from it while you are still single and if you are married, the reason why you must stick to your wife, is that the Bible says coming around immorality is giving your honor to others. There is something about your honor that you give to others. There is something about you which is supposed to be your honor, but you are giving it to others. There is something that is your own. It looks like you are enjoying fornication and adultery, but you see you are not getting it. The truth is that there is something that is your own. There is a honor you have been given. There is a glory that is yours. And that is why I tell people why many young people begin to struggle later in marriage, why many young people begin to struggle in life about certain things in their life, why relationships don't work out well generally today, is that many times people have given away several honors before they come to the junction of marriage. And why marriages are not working today also, some marriages are not working, is because some husbands are still relating with their ex, the ex-girlfriend that they had. They are relating with their secretaries in the office, sharing intimacy with one colleague, sharing intimacy with one person. Or the wife is doing the same thing, still having one ex somewhere, doing something with the ex or having somebody somewhere. What you need to realize is that immorality, that is sexual expression whether in thought or actual sexual intercourse, once it is happening, you are giving something that is yours to others. Something is being taken away from you. And what is being taken away from you is glory. What is being taken away from you is honor. You are giving your honor to others. Another one says, "Lest you give your best strength to others." There is something about your strength. That's the NIV. It says, "Lest you give your best strength to others." Your strength, young man who is not yet married, young woman who is still single. The glory of the youth, what is it? It is your strength. The Bible says when you are committing any form of immorality, you are giving the best of your strength to others. That is your glory. The glory of the young man is his strength. You are giving the best of your strength to others. It's a very serious thing you need to consider. All kinds of sexual perversion in thought and in deed is giving away your strength. Later you'll realize that a glory has left you. Something you need to run your race in life is gone. Something you need to succeed in life is gone. Something you need to get it right is gone. Something you need to make it well is gone. Because you need your strength for your journeys ahead. You need your strength. So you are giving the best of your strength to others. Immorality takes the best of your strength. These are serious things to think about. And as a married man, this is something to think about. The best of you is given to others and you are not realizing it. It says lest you give your best of your strength to others and your years to one who is cruel. King James Bible says, "and your years to the cruel one." Amplified says, "and your years to those without mercy." You give it to those without mercy. Are you understanding what we are trying to say? I'm showing you the first implication of adultery or fornication is that you are giving away your strength. The second implication is you are losing your honor. The third implication is that you are giving your years to the cruel one, to those without mercy. How these things happen... it's something that one cannot just predict. One cannot just say how it is. I was reading the story, somebody was giving a confession about her life, of a young woman [background noise]. A true life story, a young one talking about her life. She was talking about when she was not yet married, how she got deflowered by one of their neighbors, and then how she too began to sleep with people here and there. She was talking about how she committed abortion here and there before she married a number of times again. But do you know that eventually the lady was saying that when she settled down in marriage, she was now doing everything her desire was to have at least three children. She says that till as at when she was reading that something, that was last year during the COVID 2020 or something, she says she have done everything she knows to do. She has done everything she knows to do. Till date she has not been able to have more than a child. So she said that every time she begins to think back to those ones that she have aborted, could it be that that was her glory? I said it could be. I told her it could be. This thing you are looking for now, you have given it to some people. You have wasted it years back. Now you are looking for it. So you see the way these things, the way they come, the way they happen, the way they manifest in our lives. They manifest in different ways in different people. So the person she thought was her lover then was a cruel person. Was that somebody that wasted her? But then they said they were in love, falling in love then. Was it love? So some things that feel like love, they are not love. You are only giving your years to the cruel one. Do you know the fact that a young man wants to have you whether or whatever, that tells you that person is a cruel person. He is only a waster. He says, "Lest you give your life to the cruel ones. You give your life to those without mercy." I've seen who said that in discussion with a young man one time. He said he didn't know how it happened, but he just discovered that there was one day he slept with a lady, and after sleeping with that lady he just realized that something happened to him that until he has slept with two, three persons a day, he's no more normal. So who is that first lady? Who is that first lady? The first lady in her life. So a lot of misnomers. The Bible says lest, lest you don't know what will happen to you, that person that wants to have you before marriage and that person that you are going out with in marriage, you don't know what it will be. You may be giving yourself to a cruel one. The Bible says lest, lest you give your years. It may happen. You may think you are going for enjoyment, but you don't know that you are walking out of mercy. You are walking out of mercy. You are giving your years. You see when you say your years, it means things that will continue with you for many, many years. I remember this case that happened. I went to minister in one of the northern states. I was ministering in one of the northern states. And in discussing with this person, it was a very pathetic situation. The situation was such that the woman had HIV/AIDS and her son had HIV, and mind you she was pregnant. And doing everything to have this one having HIV as well. But she was completely broken. She was unhappy at all. She was completely broken. And as I was discussing with her, asking her questions, she said, "Ah my life, look at my life." She said by the time she traced, she traced the thing, she said she didn't know who among the boys she slept with while she was on campus that had HIV. That she didn't know. But she knew because while she was on campus she flirted around with some number of few student colleagues. She said, "Sir, that's my life now. Look at my life. I'm HIV, the one I'm having is HIV." And the husband was very, very... in fact it was a broken home. The joy of husbanding, the joy of being a husband was taken away from her because she has given her years to the cruel and the wicked. Be careful about adultery. Be careful about fornication, whether in thought or actual. Be careful about these things. I read something by a doctor and I checked it. He said while condom can save you from HIV/AIDS... yes condom can, but me I will say may. Because condom does not remove the possibility of having HIV; it only reduces it. He said while condom can save you from HIV and sexually transmitted disease, it cannot save you from spiritual consequences of it. And that is the reality. It cannot save you from spiritual consequences of it. Be careful so that you don't give your years to the cruel one. Look at the next thing in verse 10. We are talking about immorality. We are talking about fornication. We are talking about adultery. I have shown you the beauty of the marriage bed. We are comparing it with another thing. Young man, young woman who is not yet married, and those of us who are already married, I beg you, be sexually responsible. Be sexually responsible. Be sexually responsible. It's very important. Be sexually responsible. It says in verse 10, "Lest aliens be filled with your wealth." Lest aliens be filled with your wealth. NLT says, "Strangers will obtain your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor." Is this not a curse? Is this not a curse? Someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor. I was watching one of these Mount Zion films—was it Abattoir? Yes, it was Abattoir. And a lady acted trying to get back at one of the men who she has aborted with for severally. And now she is not married, she's not settled, but the young man has gone ahead to marry and have a daughter. And the reason why she was trying to get back at the young man was that, "See, you scattered my life. You made me abort severally. And now I've been wasted. You, you have settled to have a child. No, I'm going to scatter your marriage." What I'm trying to say, whose fault? Whose fault? Whose fault? It says strangers will obtain your wealth and someone else will eat the fruit of your labor. I give you a good example of that with Gideon. Gideon who has already had 70 children and was not contented and still went to pick a concubine. He picked a concubine that gave birth to Abimelech. That child of that concubine came up and wasted the 70 children on one stone. It was the last born that escaped. So 69 died one day. A man... I don't know how to explain that. Tell Brother Solomon. What eventually happened with not being contented with women? What eventually happened when he began to multiply women, multiply women, and he felt that it was about women? And he would not control his lust. People don't understand that if you cannot control for one, even if you have two you will still need more. If you have ten you will still need more. So if you are thinking that having more than one will help you to contain your indiscipline, it will not help you. It will only remain in indiscipline. That is why go and ask from Solomon. But eventually, is it not the same women that led to somebody else enjoying the fruit of his labor? Kingdom, twelve... a whole kingdom was handed over to him. Eventually ten, ten tribes went to another man because somebody would not be disciplined about the issue of women. What am I trying to say? It says lest strangers obtain your wealth and someone else enjoy the fruit of your labor. Be careful about looking out here and there as a married man. Throw away every "X" and look at your wife and look at your husband and wife, look at your husband. Work your marriage. And why am I talking about this work your marriage? Lest someone else enjoy the fruit of your labor. Why am I saying work your marriage? Let me read you verse 11. Verse 11 says, "And you mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed." You mourn at last when your flesh and your body are consumed. I'm trying to make you see what the Bible is putting together. A loss of honor, giving of yourself to merciless people, a loss of wealth to strangers, you will not eat the fruit of your labor. These are serious curses. These are not things that anybody should pray for or walk into. Lest you regret at last. It says lest you groan and mourn when your end comes, when your flesh are consumed. And you say, "How I have hated instruction. How I have hated instruction and despised correction. I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me. I was at the verge of total ruin in the midst of the assembly and the congregation." So look at what the Bible encourages so that that does not happen to you. Verse 15: "Drink water from your own cistern." In this place the Bible describes sexual expression as the drinking of water. Something that when you drink water and you are thirsty again, you want to drink water. That is the way sexual expression is. So if you don't contain yourself and discipline yourself and stay within your marriage, if you don't contain yourself and wait until you are married about this matter of sexual expression, it's like the way you drink water. If you don't express discipline—you know when you drink water you want to drink again—that is why you will find yourself on and on over and over in a wrong thing once you start it. He says, "Drink water from your own cistern." Make sure it is your own wife. Drink water from your own spring-fed well. Don't go and express sexual things... it is like water. You know it is something that once you start you keep finding yourself there over and over. That is why you notice that people who masturbate, they get addicted. People who go into pornography, they get addicted. People who don't discipline themselves while they are still single, when they get married they will pick one, they will say it is my wife, it's about God gave me someone that is love. You see them again when they pick... when they get one again they will still be drinking somebody else's, somebody else's again. It is something that is like water. It is something that you want to drink over and over again, something satisfying, that you find yourself there over and over. So if you don't discipline yourself to drink from your own cistern, you are a fool. The Bible likens sexual expression to water. Something that comes over and over and over and over again. It is very important for you to know that. It says, "Should your fountain be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the street?" I want to take that, this in the Message. It is true, otherwise you may one day come home and find your barrel empty and your well polluted. I hope you get what he is trying to say. That if you don't learn to focus on your own, if you don't learn to drink your own... he said do you know the saying, "Drink your own rainwater, barrel water, drink water from your own spring-fed well." It is true, otherwise you may come home one day and find your barrel empty and your well polluted. Do you see what he is trying to say? That adultery or fornication is a kind of pollution. It's a pollution to your well. If something is water, anything outside marriage is a pollution. Once it flows to another one, it's a pollution. If you don't wait until you are married, you are polluting your life. I'm trying to make you understand the implication of immorality. It's a pollution. If it is water, you are mixing water with what you should not mix it with. No matter how good a drum of water is, if you mix it with just a spoon of poison, another liquid, just one spoon of liquid that is poison, mix a drum of water with it, what happens to the drum of water? It becomes bad. So the Bible says, "Retain your water." If you must express it, make sure it is your wife. When it is not your own wife then there is a problem. It gets polluted. Adultery is a pollution. Masturbation is a pollution. Pornography is a pollution. Fornication is a pollution. You are polluting your well. And several people have polluted their well so much, and then when they now want to marry they are looking for what is not polluted. Why not keep yourself pure? And when you are married, why polluting your well? That thing you are thinking is enjoyment is pollution. It's not enjoyment. Adultery is pollution. It's pollution. It is very important for you to know that. The Bible encourages again, it says, "Let them be your own and not strangers with you." That is, stay with your own wife. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Are you seeing? It says one thing you are seeing again in the marriage bed is that the marriage bed is a bed of rejoicing. Are you seeing it here? While the adulterous bed is a bed of sorrow. You know he said, "Lest you mourn." But when it came to your wife he said, "Rejoice in your wife." So the bed of marriage is a bed of rejoicing. The adulterous bed is a bed of sorrow. The immoral bed, that bed of fornication, that bed of lusting, that bed of fantasizing with immorality, that bed of immoral thought, it's a bed of sorrow. It's a bed of sorrow. Avoid that bed. Be sexually responsible. Be sexually responsible with your life. So the system we are seeing about the marriage bed is that it's a bed of rejoicing. While the fifth thing we are seeing about the adulterous bed is that it's a bed of sorrow. It's a bed of sorrow. He said let it be your wife with you, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and as a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times and always be enraptured with her love. Why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman and embrace in the arm of the seductress? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord and He ponders all their path. His own iniquity entraps the wicked. Are you seeing something? The Bible is making us to see that immorality and adultery is a trap. It's a trap. You don't know, but I'm telling you, that's the word of God. It's a trap. It's looking like something to eat. It's not something to eat. You know what trap does? It will now appear like a trap. It will appear fantasizing. It will appear [unclear]. You understand me? All those languages you use when you think you are enjoying yourself. You don't know that you are killing yourself. [unclear]. The Bible says it's a trap. You have trapped your soul. Be careful. The bed of adultery is a trap. That is the sixth thing we are seeing about the bed of adultery. It's a trap. Don't trap your life. Immorality is a trap. Adultery, any form of adultery is a trap. Be on your guard, be watchful. He says he shall die for lack of instruction and in the greatness of his folly shall go astray. He's telling you again that the bed of adultery is foolishness. He says in the greatness of his folly, it is foolishness. Chapter 6. Look at what the Bible says again in Chapter 6. We go down to around verse 23. Chapter 6, the marriage bed and adultery. I beg you, young man, young woman who is not yet married, and those of us who are already married, I beg you, be sexually responsible. Be sexually responsible. Be sexually responsible. It's very important. Be sexually responsible. He says in verse 23, "For the commandment is a lamp and the law a light. Reproof of instructions are the ways of life." Young man, young woman, single boy and girl that is not yet married, when you see people rebuking you about the way you dress, warning you against nudity, warning you against indecent dressing, warning you against fornication... maybe they see you going out with a boy, they say, "Hey come here, what are you doing there? What do you and that boy have together? Be careful about the way you people are behaving." Ah, I want to beg you, don't get angry oh. He says, "Reproof of instruction they are ways of life oh." Be glad if you have people to rebuke you. Be happy you have people to... the Bible says reproof of instruction they are ways of life. If it doesn't happen in your life that people rebuke you, you are not blessed oh. You are not a blessed person. Have people to challenge you and say, "What are you doing there? Stop that thing or else I will strap you. Stop that thing or else I will deal with you." Somebody to call you to order and say, "This thing is not good. Stop this thing, it's not right." If you don't have it in your life, then you don't have something that is a way of life. There is a way of life. That way of life is reproof of instruction. It's a way of life. Pray that you have it in your in your own way. Pray to have people to correct and instruct you and warn you. Pray for it. It's a way of life. It's a way of life. It's very important. He says look at what it now says. But it used it in this place particularly against adultery and immorality. That's why I read it. The law, the commandment is a lamp. The law is a light. Rebuke of instruction they keep you from the evil woman and also from the evil man. There is the evil woman, there is the evil man. To keep you from the evil woman, to keep you from the evil man, from the flattering tongue of the seductress or the seducer. There is a tongue, there is a flattering tongue. There is a tongue that flatters. The flattering tongue of the seductress or the seducer. It is good, the Bible says the commandment, the law, the commandment, the law, rebuke of instruction, they keep you from the evil woman, from the evil man, from the flattering tongue of the adulteress. Now, one thing I want you to see is that he's saying that adultery, fornication, immorality, they are actually work of deception. It is those who have been deceived that find themselves in it. Hasn't it? That once you see adultery or you see fornication, you see any kind of immorality, once you see sexual expression that is not inside marriage bed, what the Bible wants you to see is that you have been deceived. There is a deception about that. It is work of deception. It's something that allure, it's something that deceive. Look at what the Bible says. "Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids." He's telling you that actually immorality comes with an allurement. It's something that allure, it's something that deceive. Look at what the Bible says. "For by the means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread, and an adulteress will hunt for precious life." What are you seeing? What are you seeing about the bed of adultery? It says for by means of a harlot, human beings are reduced to what? A crust of bread. Do you know what that means? How strong is bread? How durable is bread? Maybe we see some simpler translation. It says, "For a prostitute will bring you to poverty, and sleeping with another man's wife will cost you your very life." For a prostitute, a prostitute will bring you to poverty, and sleeping with another man's life will cost you your very life. That's why we said the bed of immorality is the bed of death. NIV says, "For the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress will prey upon your life." The Message: "You can buy an hour with a whore for a loaf of bread, and a wanton woman may well eat you up alive." These are very important things. Now, why is he saying that? Why is he saying that immorality, fornication, adultery is something that reduces to something that wastes an individual? Look at what the Bible says in verse 27. He says, "Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes be not burned?" Can a man take fire? Let's try to answer that question. The Bible asks a question. If somebody takes fire and puts it in his bosom, will his clothes still be intact? Will his clothes still be intact? You'll no more be intact. Look at what he's calling fornication and adultery. Any kind of immorality. He says can a man take fire in his bosom. You know why he used the word bosom? It's something you love. He said can a man put fire in his bosom and his clothes still be intact? Of course his clothes will be burned. What I'm trying to make you see again is that the Bible use fire to describe sex. It is something that consumes. Don't, if you don't stay till you are married, and if you are married, make sure you stick to your husband and stick to your wife. Once outside the marriage bed, the Bible says can a man take fire in his bosom and not be burned? It's because sex is a fire. And I want to explain it to you. How useful is fire? Is fire useful? Very, very useful. We use it for cooking, we use fire for diverse things. But when is fire useful? Fire useful when it is within a regulation. Fire is so useful, but listen, it is only regulated fire that is useful. Now, when do you see fire as a destroyer? It is when fire is outside regulation. That's what the Bible is trying to say. That normally, when sexual relationship is with one's own husband, where's the fire? It's in control because that is where God places it. God placed sex only in marriage. Stick to your wife, stick to your husband. Now, when you begin to take that outside that regulation, you are taking fire outside the regulated spot. It's like when gas fire will be burning, but it is at a regulated place. If it leaves that burner and it's burning the whole kitchen, everything that will be coming out will be destruction. When sexual expression, either in thought or in the very act of it, taking from where we started, that he who look at a woman lustfully commit adultery with her... either in thought or actually, once you don't limit your thoughts, your imagination, and the act of anything sex to your husband, where are you putting fire? You are putting it outside the regulated spot. You are taking fire outside where it is regulated. And what will happen to you? The Bible says you will be burned. That is why you notice that we said under the sixth point—because this is the seventh point—under the sixth point, that the Bible says all kinds of immorality is foolishness. You cannot, you cannot see a normal person in his house take fire outside the burner, put it inside his bedroom, put it here, put it there. Say, "What are you doing?" "I'm using fire." That person can no more be normal. "What are you doing? I'm using fire! Fire is useful! So I'm using the fire." Then putting it on his certificate, right... "You see I'm using fire!" That person must be out of sense. So the Bible says, "Can a man take fire?" God places all kinds of sexual expression that must happen in our life, it must be with our wife, it must be with our spouse. Anything outside that, you are taking fire outside its regulation. While it will look like wisdom, spiritually it's going to be work. Look at the next way it puts it again. He says can one walk on hot coal—verse 28—and his feet not be seared? Who can walk on hot coal here and his feet is normal? Who can do that here? Nobody can do that. Look, I'm trying to make you see how the Bible is deliberately describing adultery, fornication... please there are questions, if there are questions let us have them so that we can be working on the question time. And those of us that are here if you have question please you can raise your question. It's already 11:30. If there are questions we stop we answer questions, but if they don't come we continue to speak. When it is 12:00 we close the meeting. So if there are questions please let us have it. Let us have it. Online brethren please start sending in your questions. Those of us on Telegram, those of us on Mixlr, please if you have your questions, let us have them quickly because it's question time. For those that are here you can write so that we can answer the question. Now, he says, "Can one walk on hot coal and his feet not be seared?" The Bible is trying to describe what it is to you to go into any kind of immorality. The Bible describing what masturbation is for you. The Bible describing what pornography is. Many young people are guilty of pornography today, many young men and women particularly men, young boys are guilty of pornography. Many girls are going into fornication. Many married women into adultery, married men into adultery. Many young people are masturbating, both male and female. The Bible is saying that once you take sex outside marriage bed, any way you put any kind of sexual perversion, that's what the Bible is describing. That look, you are only... you don't understand. You are walking barefoot on hot coal. Why will you not be burned? Your feet will be seared. That's why I told you, I told you of a case of a young lady, discussing something, and she was saying that her husband could not give her satisfaction. And then after much interrogation and discussing the matter, the primary something about the lady, even before she got married, she had been using sex toys. She was masturbating with sex toys. And you know no man... Now she was married, now she's a married person. So what she was now finding as a challenge is that her husband, she asked her husband, "Is that your husband know?" She said her husband is okay but by the time we investigate the matter, that was the end of the matter. So it now had to be that she had to now come back to what human beings can do and move away from what machine can do. I told you of the case of, can a man walk on hot coal and not be burned... the case of two people who were in a relationship who slept with themselves, and they were able to cover it and got married. But over time, the wife began to accuse the husband of sexual immorality. And by the time we began to investigate with the wife, the wife believed that the husband committed that thing because when they were still single, before they entered into marriage, when they were courting, they slept together and he made the husband not to tell the pastor. So she believes that since the husband could hide it from the pastor, the husband is still hiding it till today. He's hiding something from her. There's also the case of a married one where people got married and the husband was the one that threw away the wife on the ground of adultery. By the time the matter was investigated, the reason why the husband believed this was still the same thing, this kind of same matter. That while they were before they entered into marriage, while they were courting, the woman got pregnant. To hide it away from the church, they aborted it. But because they still went ahead and got married, the church did not know. That was why the man believed that the woman is not... they thought they have done it long ago, but it's coming back into their marriage. What am I trying to bring out? The Bible says you can't walk on it and don't have this... the mark will be there. That's why I tell people, before they enter into marriage, stay pure. And if you enter into marriage, stay pure. You cannot do that thing and not have things that you will regret. That is the bed of adultery. You must have things that you will regret. There's a question... "Is masturbation wrong for married people? What are the dangers to the married people?" Ah, plenty! Plenty! It's wrong for the married people because the instruction—don't forget what I said—the rebuke of instruction is the way of life. There's something God has instructed: that sexual expression should be on the marriage bed. If you want to have any kind of sexual satisfaction, it should be in your wife. If you want to fantasize, if you want to imagine having sex with a woman, it must be your husband or your wife. Everything about your thought, your whatever should be in your marriage bed. Anything outside the marriage bed is a sin. Now you look at masturbation, the married. One thing about masturbation is that masturbation cannot come without imagination. You get the point I'm trying to bring out. So what are you imagining? Now masturbation cannot come without sexual satisfaction either for the male or the female. Now for the female, it brings out to climax of sex. For the male, it brings out to climax of sex. God said the instruction is that it should be in your spouse. That is why it is wrong. Now why is it wrong again, apart from it being in your spouse, is that it is actually defrauding your spouse. Don't forget where we are coming from, that was the month of March. That was March we were looking at 1 Corinthians chapter 7. He says, "Do not deny, do not defraud, do not refuse." Anybody who refuses his spouse's sex is disobeying God. Anybody who denies his spouse's sex is disobeying God. Anybody who defrauds... we now say how do we defraud? I said we defraud by masturbation. Instead of meeting your spouse, you are defrauding. You are looking for elsewhere to get it done instead of giving your spouse satisfaction. So it's a kind of defrauding. And that is why for many young people who don't control themselves before they get married, they will find themselves in marriage still masturbating. They will now say their spouse is discord. It's because you didn't... you see that is one thing about sexual sin. The Bible says it is something that will remain with you. It can't but leave you with a mark. So because it's a loss of honor, once sex don't comes with the marriage bed... it's the marriage bed that a man or a woman retains his or her honor and his glory. Once you do anything outside there, something is missing that you will later regret. Something goes with it and it goes in different ways. In different ways. So the danger is that you will be defrauding your spouse. You'll be defrauding your spouse. And that's one very serious danger for the married people. It leads to defrauding. It may even lead to refusing because you are satisfying yourself somewhere. When that person is even ready, you are already satisfied. So whether for the married or for the unmarried, masturbation is not a correct thing. It's not a correct thing. Both parties, in whichever way, it is not correct. Now, he says, "Can a man walk on hot coal and his legs... and there's no blister in his feet? So is he who goes to his neighbor's wife. Whoever touches her will not be innocent." And I want you to understand this for those who are not married. That person you are corrupting is somebody else's wife. You will say, "Ah, how is this so?" Remember one of our talk on "If you are not faithful in what belongs to another man, who will give you your own?" You remember that our talk on one of our singles' club, "The Power of Faithfulness." I relate it to the matter of marriage. That one reason why many women don't eventually get their own husband and many men eventually get their own wife may be because they have been unfaithful. There may be other reasons, but one of them is, "Who will give you your own husband, who will give you your own if you are not faithful in what belongs to another man?" So if you have been committing fornication now, that person belongs to somebody. You are already spoiled what belongs to somebody. When you now come to get your own, God will not give you your own. So it's a very serious thing. You may not get your own. So the Bible says, "He who goes into his neighbor's wife." So we should be looking at "neighbor's wife" beyond just the married. The same thing, "He who goes into her neighbor's husband." It's the same way. Because many times because the Bible is written with the voice of the male, particularly when you take it in King James, the Bible is written from the man's view, as if it's a man's world. They don't count women, the Jewish people, they don't count women. So when the Bible is talking about human beings, it's both ways. He who goes into his neighbor's wife, he who goes into her neighbor's husband, whosoever touches him or touches her will not be innocent. It will leave a mark with you. It will leave something with you. Look at what the Bible calls it again. "People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy when he is starving." The adulterous bed is the bed of thieves. People who go to the adulterous bed, they are thieves. That's the eighth thing about the adulterous bed. It's the bed of thieves. "Yet if he is found, he will restore sevenfold." You know what he's trying to say? You may want to justify why you are doing what you are doing, but know that you are not innocent. You may want to justify why you are doing what you are doing, but know for sure that you are not innocent. Look at what the Bible now says in verse 32. "Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own soul." Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding. He who does so destroys his own soul. Look at what the adulterous bed is. The adulterous bed is a bed of destruction. So anybody who have understanding don't go into adultery in any way. It says whosoever does so, "wound and dishonor he will get. Wound and dishonor he will get." Did David get his own? He got it very well. He got it, in fact, he said, "Give it to me, give it back to you, good measure, pressed down." He slept with Bathsheba, he killed Uriah. Eventually, you know what began to happen in his own household. That thing became a curse over his children. Amnon slept with Tamar, Absalom killed Amnon, slept with the father's wife, Joab killed Absalom. Kingdom transferred to Solomon. Adonijah killed... He got it very well. He got it. "Wound and dishonor you will get and his reproach will not be wiped away." So it's a very, very important to see this about the bed of adultery. And lastly, something in Chapter 7 that I also want us to see. In Chapter 7, let's see something quickly in Chapter 7 to make you see how things come to the end. That people who go into any of these things, they are actually fools. They are actually fools. I read Chapter 7 quickly, I'll just be reading through. Look at what the Bible says. For at the window of my house, I looked through my lattice. You understand? Looking through the glass. I saw the simple, I perceived among the youth a young man what? He lacks understanding. I saw a young man void of understanding passing along the street near her house. Talking about the adulterous woman. He looked at the path and he took the path to her house in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and in the dark night. And there a woman met him with the attire of a harlot. So there are clothes that harlots wear. There are many attires of harlots today. All indecent clothes are attires of an harlot. Attire of an harlot and what? What do you notice here? Apart from the cloth, what do you see? And a crafty heart. I'm trying to make you see that any form of immorality involves some level of deception. Anybody you see commit any form of immorality was deceived in a way. Something was looking alluring, something was looking attractive, then the person hold to it. It's a crafty heart. Immorality comes with craftiness, comes with deception. She was loud and rebellious. Her feet would not stay at home. At times she was outside, at times in the open square, lurking at every corner. Telling you how immorality is. He's using "her" there, but giving you the figure of immorality, that it is something that is everywhere. In the office, in the church, in the school. We have even heard of pastors sleeping with choir mistresses. So it's everywhere. It's lurking everywhere. She caught him and kissed him with an impudent face. She said, "I have peace offerings with me. Today I have paid my vow. So I come to meet you diligently to seek your face and I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of Ethiopian linen. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning. Let us delight ourselves with love. For my husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey. He has taken a bag of money with him and will not come home until the appointed day." With her enticing speech she caused him to yield. With her flattering lip she seduced him. Immediately he went after her like an ox goes to the slaughter. Do you see that immorality, once you follow that path, it's the path of slaughter. It's the people who are out of sense that go that path. Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till what? An arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to his snare, he did not know that it would cost him his life. Now therefore listen to me, my children. Pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her, to her ways. Do not stray in her path. For she has cast down many wounded. What destroyed Samson? What destroyed Solomon? What scattered David? If you look at all of this things... but do you know one thing? One great lesson from history is that we are not learning from history. People are still committing immorality today. People are still having sexual desires outside their husbands today. People are still doing it today. They are not looking back. All of these things, they were written down for our learning. The purpose of history is to make men learn. But people are not learning from history. She has cast down many wounded and she is still wounding many. And all who were slain by her were what? Were what? Strong men! Strong men! All who were slain by her were who? They were strong men. People who think that, "No, I know what I can... I can keep myself. I can do this, I can do that." He says for she has cast down many wounded and all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house, her house is the way of what? Is the way of hell, descending to the chambers of death. This is how we can describe the bed of adultery. Adultery, immorality, fornication, masturbation, pornography, all of them to one side. But we can see the beauty of the marriage bed. I encourage you, young men and women listening to me today, all of us on Mixlr, on Telegram, and those of us who are here, be on your guard. The best place to live sexual expression, the best place to live it is the marriage bed. Don't take sexual expression outside the marriage bed. Let every individual who are not married exercise discipline until they are married, or else inside marriage you will still not be disciplined. And those who are married should stick to those that they are married to. Outside the marriage bed you can see the consequences of adultery in the life of a man. Let us go ahead this morning to pray. Let's talk to the Lord. It's 12:00, we're closing. I want you to talk to the Lord this morning. The marriage bed and adultery, that was our focus this morning. The marriage bed and adultery and all forms of sexual perversion. We were comparing the two: the beauty of the marriage bed and the destruction that is in the other bed. That was our focus this morning. And we have said a lot of vital things, a lot of vital things. We have seen some very serious things about the marriage bed. The marriage bed is the will of God. The marriage bed is spiritual. The marriage bed pleases the Lord. The marriage bed is the place of honor. The marriage bed is the place of glory. We have looked at the immoral bed, the bed of foolishness. Giving yourself, giving away your strength, giving away your glory, giving away your years, making strangers to be filled with your wealth. You will not eat the fruit of your labor. Is this not a curse? Your labor will be taken by other people. All that you have labored for will be taken by other people. These are things we have talked about in the immoral bed, the bed of immorality. You will give your strength to the merciless one. You give your strength to the cruel one. Look into your own way, whether married, whether single, and make up a decision. Make up your mind. This morning, make up your mind. Thank You, eternal Father. Blessed be Your holy name, our God. We thank You, Lord. We thank You, Lord. Thank You, blessed Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Let me call on my wife to close the meeting this afternoon. Please come and round up, close the meeting. [Speaker 2] Father, in Jesus' name, Lord we thank You for Your word that is spoken to us again. We pray You help us not to be forgetful hearers. Make us doers of this word and not hearers only in the name of Jesus. Father, we pray that You will help everyone to flee from every immoral bed. Help us, O Lord, to esteem, to honor, O Lord Jehovah God, the marriage bed in the name of Jesus. Help our young ones, O Lord, to live by this truth in the name of Jesus. Help the married to see that every alluring outside their marriage is a trap to take their glory, to take their labor, to waste their life. They are handing their lives over to the cruel, to the wasters. Same with those everyone that are not yet married. Every form of immorality is a waste of life. Father, we pray, let this understanding, O Lord, let it dawn on everyone of us in the name of Jesus. Help us, O Lord, to begin to take steps in the right direction everywhere, O Lord, that we have turned away from this truth, Lord, in the name of Jesus. Turn Your people back to the right direction and cause them to live by it in the name of Jesus. Thank You for Your son that You've used. We pray, Lord God Almighty, You will sustain him. Uphold him and his home in the name of Jesus. We pray, Lord God Almighty, for more grace and auction, O Lord Jehovah God, to live, to speak, and to do the word of God in the name of Jesus. Father, we pray that the blessings of the Lord will remain beyond this point. Cause everyone that beyond this point You speak to the heart of Your people in the mighty name of Jesus. Thank You, Father, for answers to our prayer. We remember every home that are troubled. We remember every life that have given their years, their strength to the cruel and the wicked. And by the reason of this word, Lord, they are repenting, turning to You. Lord God Almighty, You have promised, O Lord, that even if our sins they are red as scarlet, You shall make it as white as snow. O Lord, we pray You show mercy in the name of Jesus. As they are turning to You, Lord, forgive them, Lord, in the name of Jesus. The strength, O Lord, to go... Outro Voiceover: This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission speed. Our regular activities are discipleship class every Monday 5:00 PM, adolescent and singles club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, marriage forum second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM, family life seminars, regular school outrages, and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Rejoice filling station, along Iji-Ara road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all.