Successful Marriage price and prizes 1

[Music playing] [Speaker 1] Church and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God waitly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] But I never had a personal encounter with Jesus. I was very much active in the choir. Our Ancient and Modern, there's no song I did not memorize. We go for burial, we do this, all that went on and on and on. I was in the evangelical school. That was at All Saints, the Anglican Church. And in the midst of all of those busyness, I have not personally encountered Jesus. Some people are in evangelism. Some are in evangelism. Particularly this one, we love singing Jesus to all, or The Lord is my shepherd. And while singing all of that, I've not met Jesus. But some of us one day, somehow, somewhere, I personally encountered Jesus. God is not among us not having a personal encounter with him. Please, that's my first appeal before going to so many other things. Don't be churchy [speaking in Yoruba: don't let the church deceive you]. Let's be sure that no, there is this encounter with Jesus. Honestly, that's the secret of a successful marriage life. I just want to say that, I just want to begin with that, just for my very general note, before we take the prayer, and then we go to the next lesson. Can we just have a word of prayer? Almighty God, we are honestly grateful unto you. We thank you, our God, we thank you for our gathering together unto you. God, our Father, our eyes are on you. Because the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 3:6, "Paul plants, Apollos waters, it's only God that can give increase." Scripture says, it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, it's of the Lord that showeth mercy. Lord, you know our situation. You know the circumstances of our marriage. You know the situation of our home. You know exactly where we need help. You know the areas of our life that needs life. Lord, you know the circumstances and matters that need urgent attention. Oh, precious Father, Mighty God, in your mercy, as we gather today, as we gather tomorrow, oh Lord, do for this assembly what no man can do. Do for us, oh God, what no speaker can do. Do for us what no minister can do. Lord, come in your might, in your power. Come in your mercy. Come in your glory. And Lord, attend to our situation in the name of Jesus Christ. Everywhere we need life, oh Lord, give life into our marriage. Everywhere we need direction, Lord, I prophesy into this meeting, confusion shall give way for direction in the name of Jesus Christ. Everywhere, oh Lord our God, there is fear and hopelessness, Lord we pray for hopefulness, oh God, hopelessness shall be shattered, fear shall be shattered, faith, hope, courage will be restored in the name of Jesus Christ. And Lord, everywhere there's a need for your power to change our situation, there will be a manifestation of your power, a manifestation of your power to attend to our situation in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, our eyes are on you. Father, our eyes are on you. Lord, help us. Every place, help us. Lord, help our weaknesses. Help our faithfulness. Help our marriage. And let your mercy attend to us. Let your mercy, Lord, let your mercy attend to us. Oh, Father, hear me, oh God. [Singing led by Speaker 2] Saviour, Saviour, hear my humble cry. While on others thou art calling, do not pass me by. Saviour, Saviour, hear my humble cry. While on others thou art calling, do not pass me by. [Speaker 2] We don't have too many words to express our desire, but we'll express our desire in this song. This song that we have just sang, we are just expressing our desire. Lord, do pass us not by. Do pass us not by. No matter our situation, no matter the circumstances of our heart, Lord, no matter how weak we may be, Lord, no matter how unprepared we might even be, Lord, let mercy attend to us tonight. Let mercy, Lord, let mercy speak for us. In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus. Thank you Father. Blessed be your name. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. I will sit down at some point, and I will also stand at some point. Just like my brother said, I'm more of a teacher. I like to stand by the board or the blackboard. For fifteen years I was in secondary school before I moved on to the university to be a teacher, to continue teaching. And so, I feel more relaxed to go to the board to say something as we move on this evening. Now, what we want to do this evening is to try to lay a foundation, want to lay a foundation for some of the things we may be doing tomorrow. A background, just more or less a platform. I want to set a platform. On that platform, I believe we'll be able to build more and more. We're looking at spirituality and marriage. And the first thing I want to call your attention to, when you look at individual in marriage, somebody who gets into marriage and becomes the subject of this study, how exactly does God weigh the spirituality of that individual? How does God show relationship between your spirituality and your marriage? Your spirituality, how do you know you're spiritual if you are married? If you are single, it's a different ball game entirely. It's a different ball game. But when you're married, what exactly are the things that help us to look at and say, "This person is spiritual"? Some people are overwhelmingly religious, but they're not spiritual. And we want to lay this as a background, and pull them together. And we will go to the second lesson. Let's reason among ourselves very practically. If the gospel is to invite St. John's Anglican Church to sing the gospel, I want to ask, which element will appear for the gospel? Which element will appear for the gospel? The choir? The singer? Oh, thank you very much, sir. If the gospel invites St. John's, it's not the building. Is that not so? What makes St. John's? The communicants? And mostly the congregation. Now look at that. What you call congregation is just a collection of families. Is that not true? What's congregation? Collection of families. So actually, when you say St. John's appeared before the gospel, what's going to appear is going to be what? A family among several families. Is that not true? That's how we'll be the choir or the people represented, but what is going on here is family. Now, you must have seen that when we say a church is spiritual, what actually is spiritual is families. So fundamentally speaking, no church can be more spiritual than the families that gather in it. No church. So actually, the family life is the basis of spirituality. I can stand here as a good pastor and then as a good preacher. It's a lie. It can never be that. If my family falls to pieces, it's over. It's over. So in our gathering to this place, I cannot come here and present as a preacher. It's not possible. It's not. Now, what I'm going to do this evening, want us to see this clearly. Let's turn to 1 Corinthians 7. 1 Corinthians 7. God, make us to understand some things very, very important. And as we look at that scripture, I want us to see what he said. I will read from verse 29. Tomorrow we'll take the matter from verse 1. But let's take it from verse 29 today. 1 Corinthians 7:29-33 says: "But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares for the things of the world—how he may please his wife." Are you with me, brethren? Verse 34: "There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares for the things of the world—how she may please her husband." Are you seeing something there? When we are all unmarried, how many Gods do we have? One. But immediately you get married, how many Gods? Two. And people say, "God is the first in my heart." Of course I know. I'm not disputing that. But I want us to lay this at background for us today, that please, as far as God looks at us, we have the opportunity to travel with people across churches, across denominations. And one thing that we've found is a bigger issue that we have to overcome is for some of us to understand that there is a difference between your marriage and your life. There is a great difference when it comes to how God looks at things, when it comes to how God evaluates things, when it comes to how God considers our standing before God. There is a difference between your marriage and your life. It is because many times, we don't realize this difference. That is why some times, instead of taking the time to be able to pay the price that's supposed to be paid to have a happy home, we waste our time. Instead of taking the time to start working, realizing that you are no more single. You are now married. There are things to do. They are no more just you. It's a different ball game altogether. Some people choose to live as if they are unmarried. They still want to think alone, they still want to act alone, they still want to decide alone, they still want to move alone, they still want to pray alone, they still want to go alone. No. And the same thing for the sisters. If there's no realization that you are no longer the same... [Speaking in Yoruba: you are no longer the one you know]. There's another person. There's another person in your mind. What about the man who's been a bachelor? You are no more single. Just imagine that a sister suddenly joins you in the house. She started wearing my shirt, she started using the shirt, and started doing all kinds of things. By the time you come back to see her, what will be the situation? What will be the situation? My point is that there's this realization in our hearts, in our system of life, that as far as God is concerned, there is a difference between being single and being married. And there's a difference between a virgin and a wife. I just want to put this in front of you. Tomorrow, I want to put these things together around it. I believe that God has brought us here to help somebody. That's what I believe. Can we look at 1 Timothy? Can we just look at around 1 Timothy Chapter 3 and Chapter 5? Can we just look at some one or two things from that scripture? Just on the basis of I want to drive the point home that indeed there is a difference. Can we just look at this? 1 Timothy 3:1: "This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop..." Depending on translation, some will say the position of an elder, that's NIV. NIV says the position of an overseer, Amplified says the office of a bishop, superintendent, overseer. Any of them go together. Either an elder, a bishop, an overseer. A bishop then must be blameless. And what is the first qualification? What is the first qualification? "Husband of one wife." That's NKJV. NIV, "For an elder must be a man whose life cannot be spoken against. He must be faithful to his wife." NLT says, "He must be husband of but one wife." Amplified reads it as "the husband of one wife." You'll be wondering, what is the connection between this and every other qualification? But have you ever wondered why he put him and his wife first before other qualifications? I will tell you the background. A man who cannot manage one, cannot manage several families. What you call church is what? Families. So if I cannot be faithful over this, I cannot be faithful over that. Have you had an encounter? If I want to join you in this church, under this context of compatibility, the context of compatibility is necessary. So anybody that cannot manage one, can't manage many. Many of us say something about compatibility. Some were thinking about emotional compatibility, physical compatibility, and now they are starting their spirituality on compatibility. Look, by the time you enter, you will realize that there's no compatibility. Forget it. Forget it. What's compatibility? [Background cheers and laughter] What's this business in our day? What's this compatibility business? There is no such thing as compatibility. The index of compatibility is nonsense. So anybody that cannot manage one, cannot be overseer over many. There's another thing I just want to point to you. It's a big issue when it comes to church. I am not here to hurt anyone's mind. We are here to show some things in our life. We are not here to act bossy to any man. We are here to talk about practical things with you. I want us to fellowship together. When I look back over forty years, I've seen so many things about marriage here. But what I'm going to do this evening is that there is this realization in our hearts, in our system of life, that indeed God is concerned. Let's look at something, and I want us to read together around it. I believe that God has brought us here to help somebody. In 1 Timothy Chapter 3 Verse 1: "This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop..." A bishop then must be blameless. And what is the first qualification? "Husband of one wife." You'll be wondering, what is the connection between this and every other qualification? I will tell you the background. A man who cannot manage one, cannot manage several families. What you call church is what? Families. So if I cannot be faithful over this, I cannot be faithful over that. [Preaching voice intensifies] If I want to join you in this church, have you had an encounter? If I want to join you in this church, what is going to be spiritual? Marriage. So anybody that cannot manage one, can't manage many. If a man is not faithful to his wife, if he cannot manage his wife, if he cannot relate well with his wife, if he doesn't have the capacity to carry her, to manage her idiosyncrasies and shortcomings, to carry her and die for her just as Christ died for the church, that man is not spiritual as a man that can lead a spiritual life. He can't lead a spiritual life. Is that not so? My point is that there must be this realization in our hearts, in our system of life, that indeed God is concerned. And I've seen many pastors, some will be saying that, "I'm very, very spiritual." Can we check on some? Let's go to that same 1 Timothy Chapter 5. I want to take a bit an angle. I want you to follow me again as we read together around it. I'm reading from 1 Timothy 5:3-8: "Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow and left alone," so what does that mean? This is a woman that has no child, no anybody who assists her, is that not so? So what's she thinking? "she trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless." And then, I move to Verse 9. Still addressing the matter of widows. "Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number." Which number now? People to be taken care of. That is, if there is somebody who's really a widow, and she's left alone, no children, no help, is at least sixty, if she is not up to sixty years don't put her into that number. And what's the next thing? "having been the wife of how many men? One man." You see the point again? That if you want to use God's money to sponsor anybody that is a widow, any woman who at some point in her life [speaking in Yoruba: she left one and went to another man, she joined another man, before she moved to another person. And then after some years again, she has the audacity to go into a church, and then she joins the church, and then she tells the church that she needs some help.] I'm not insulting anybody and their life. But what I'm saying is this, how many people in church? And then they say that this church is not spiritual. You have forgotten God. And then we start comparing some other churches. What they have done for widows, what they have done for this. And some say, "Ah, one of our sister, she is very spiritual, and yet she's doing this." You see, my point is that there must be this realization in our hearts, in our system of life, that indeed God is concerned. [Preaching intensifies with Yoruba] You are a woman of God, a woman of God! I know! If you find a woman who cannot endure the idiosyncrasy of a man, even if the man is doing this, even if the man is doing that, but to always want to seek for one man or another man because she's unable to endure a particular man. At many times as she tries, she won't find a perfect man. So God is saying that when you see a woman who cannot endure a man and stay with him, and stay with him, and live and be faithful to that man, and stay with him through life. If she shall be moving from man to man, please, don't enter that number, she's not a spiritual person. Are you seeing something? Look at the office of the bishop and of the widow, what is the first God wants to mention? The relationship between the husband and the wife first. What is going on? How faithful is he to her? Bishop, how faithful is he to her? If he can be that and he's faithful, then you can enter that other office. You can be qualified over other offices. Now, why am I bringing this before us? Why am I bringing this to challenge us this evening? Is that many times we go to church, and we are praying and trying to be alive, that God says if a man is not faithful to his wife, if he cannot manage his wife, if he cannot relate well with his wife, if he doesn't have the capacity to carry her, to manage her idiosyncrasies and shortcomings, to carry her and die for her just as Christ died for the church. That man is not spiritual as a man that can lead a spiritual life. He can't lead a spiritual life. Is that not so? And I see many pastors, some will be thinking that I'm spiritual. Can we check on some? I am not here to hurt anyone's mind. We are here to show some things in our life. I am not here to act bossy to any man. We are here to talk about practical things with you. I want us to fellowship together. When I look back over forty years, I've seen so many things as a marriage coach, I've seen so many things about marriage here. But what I'm going to do this evening is that there is this realization in our hearts, in our system of life, that indeed God is concerned. [Preaching intensifies] It's impossible! It's impossible for any of us to have a husband to show us love in marriage! It's impossible! Is it the wife that has no love to love the husband? No! Is it the wife? No! Who has told us to love the man? God! So when a man is not loving to his wife, who does he have problems with? God! How can a man be having problems with God and then be preaching the Lord? It's nonsense! I want to show you something. I want you to see this about marriage. Can anybody be over Fatherhood? Who can be over Fatherhood? God! Under which situation will your son not be your son? No, please, give us some question. I've been over fifty years. I've seen so many things. God has been with us. It's because we know even if I don't go to the church again, and they see me as anything. This I know, most of us come here, we are crying for the church of Fatherhood. [Preaching intensifies with Yoruba] Go to the church, so you may be father or mother over many. No, it can't be like that. You see, I want to show you something. I want you to see this about marriage. I am not here to insult anybody and their life. I am not here to act bossy to any man. We are here to talk about practical things with you. I want us to fellowship together. When I look back over forty years, you have seen so many things. But what I'm going to do this evening is that there is this realization in our hearts, in our system of life, that indeed God is concerned. [Preaching intensifies] It's impossible! It's impossible for any of us to have a husband to show us love in marriage! It's impossible! Is it the wife that has no love to love the husband? No! Who has told us to love the man? God! So when a man is not loving to his wife, who does he have problems with? God! How can a man be having problems with God and then be preaching the Lord? It's nonsense! Hey! That's how I was general for forty years. Now, I want to... okay, yes, I will sit because my old leg will soon be cut off. Okay. Now, you see, looking at our marriage today, want to begin to look at some of these things. Let me place this before you. One. Two. Three. Or let me put it another way. Let me put it another way. Three, [writing on board]. When you look at these three things, the family, the church, the tabernacle, representing the whole of believers, priesthood, that order, I hope we are all clear. Is there anything today, the background, because the connection of the family was where? At the beginning. The distance between Moses and Adam is not a small distance. I hope you know. Look at how many years it took before the law came. And when the law came, then God established the priesthood, the tabernacle, everything. So that one and two cannot take precedence over three. The family. This is what I'm saying. Do you know brethren that if Adam and Eve did not eat that fruit, we wouldn't be here. You understand that? I'm trying to make you see clearly. We need to see things as our marriage. Need to see things our marriage and what God has for marriage. I'm trying to emphasize and put things together that indeed what is strong in the spirituality of a marriage is acceptance. In marriage. In marriage. In marriage. Even the woman who may not be religious... [preaching voice intensifies with Yoruba: even if they don't give everything, don't be separated from her husband, to always want to take decision through her husband. When it happens when her husband says "don't eat," will she go ahead? And Adam too! In Genesis Chapter 3, the Bible says Adam was not deceived. He was not! He saw everything!] I am telling you, no matter how spiritual, no matter the length of visiting together, I want you to know that man at his best is human. He can never be God. His humanity is manifest at different times. His idiosyncrasy show up at different times. That is to say, there may not be perfect people, but they can be perfect marriage, if we take the right attitude towards our spouse. Are you following brethren? There cannot be perfect people, but they can be perfect arrangement of marriage. After you find out what is in the heart of our heart into one another, our hospitality! Every man has something a woman must endure. And every woman has something a man must die for, so that she can live. It's important to notice. And if a woman is ready to go off, as she begins to move from one man to another man, because she cannot endure a particular man. It is that at many times as she tried, she won't find a perfect man. So God is saying that when you see a woman who cannot endure a man and stay with him, and live and be faithful to that man, and stay with him through life. If she shall be moving from man to man, please, don't enter that number, she's not a spiritual person. Are you seeing something? You see this issue of the bishop and the widow, what is first God wants to mention? The relationship between the husband and the wife first. What is going on? How faithful is he to her? Bishop, how faithful is he to her? If he can be that and he's faithful, then you can enter that other office. You can be qualified over other offices. [Speaker 3] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in reaching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission aid. Our regular activities are: Discipleship class every Monday 5:00 PM; Adolescent and Singles Club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Marriage Forum second Saturdays of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outreaches, and everyday counseling. For further counseling you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Rejoice filling station along Ijede Road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are: 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all. [Music playing]