Successful Marriage Price and Prizes (men's Session)

[Introductory Voice] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. Now, we will go to that Matthew 19 where my wife started from the other time. Let's see that Matthew 19. Matthew 19. Matthew chapter 19. [Speaks in Yoruba] Is everyone hearing me? [Speaks in Yoruba] I should stand up, right? But you're hearing me like this. [Speaks in Yoruba] I'm able to sustain it. You know we teachers, sometimes we stand at the board and teach children sometimes two, three hours talking. So I think I can sustain the standing. Now, if you look at Matthew 19, [Speaks in Yoruba] look at Matthew 19 there. Matthew 19 from verse three, as we fellowship together. It was about the Pharisees coming to meet Jesus. The Pharisees also came to him, actually they were testing him. [Speaks in Yoruba] They just came to test him. And saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" That was their question. And then Jesus, when he was to respond, he said, and he answered them, "Have you not read? Have you not read?" I want you to look at the word "read." It's a very strong word. "Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female?" From the response of Jesus in this place, we can see a few things. Number one: Once a man is ignorant of scripture, he will be misbehaving. Once a man is ignorant of scriptures, he will be misbehaving. He said, "Have you not read?" [Speaks in Yoruba] Haven't you read? [Speaks in Yoruba] Haven't you seen where it was written? Or number two: If a man reads the scripture but does not have insight into scripture, he will be misbehaving. There is a difference between Bible knowledge and the knowledge of God. I taught CRK for 15 years in secondary school. My colleague, I don't want to let me mention the name, we are both teaching CRK together. When it is time for exam, he wears some of them to wear uniform, their school uniform, to go and write the exams for them. He was a scholar of scripture, but a stranger to the God of the scripture. So, it is not about just the word. I hope you're getting what I'm trying to bring out? Not just Bible knowledge. So, a man must beg God for insight into the word of God. Now, he was just responding, I'm going to take them very, very fast. Now, he now said, "He who made them at the beginning made them male and female." That's a very serious thing. They were asking Jesus a question at this, this would be first AD. Jesus was taking them back to where? To the beginning. That the only way to handle the present is to understand the beginning. And that is one thing we must know. I just want to lay some foundation before I zoom into some things. The only way to correctly handle the matter of marriage is to go back to the beginning. Once we run into culture, we may not get a way out. Let me give you a particular example now. For the Yorubas, [Speaks in Yoruba] who is the head of the house? A man. But for the Bible, who did it call the head of the house? You know the Bible never call man the head of the house. What did it call him? The head of the woman. Christ the head of the man, and then God the head of Christ. So when you enter into a Christian home, who is at the top? God. Who follows? Christ. Who now follows? The man. Who now follows? The woman, before the children. So when a man places himself over his house, he takes the place of God. A man must not place himself, he must understand that he's under an authority—the authority of the word of God. [Speaks in Yoruba] If he doesn't take the word of God, he's not a man. He's a headless man. [Speaks in Yoruba] He's a beast. [Speaks in Yoruba] That man is a beast. He's a headless man. I want to make some things very plain because I believe I'm fellowshipping with not just young believers. Ministers are here. Theologians are here. Am I not correct? So I want us to look at them critically. So, at that background, you see that if any man want to correctly deal with marriage, where should he go to? He should go to the beginning. And the first thing Jesus said about the beginning is that "Have you not read?" because their question is "Not can a woman put away her husband?" No, that was not their question. Their question was "Can a man?" so we are dealing with men. Can a man? That was their question. So Jesus now said, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning actually made them..." I want to use the illustration of my pastor friend, that's Pastor [unclear: Lupono]. Please look at this, brethren. Or let me raise it up for all of us. This shoe, how many? Two. So, the person that holds this shoe, is he having two shoes? No, one. One in two. [Speaks in Yoruba] Daddy, please help me. [Speaks in Yoruba] Hallelujah. Now, I want to do something. Are you with me, brethren? If I have come this morning, and as I walk into the assembly to minister to you, I'm dressed like this. If I enter the church like this and I say "Brethren, let us talk," please I want you to look at me. People will look at me and say, "This person is out of his mind." They want to know if I'm okay or not okay. Now, what is the problem? Because this and this cannot go together. What can go together? So it's either I take these two or I take these two. Once I say this one is not good, then what happens? This one too cannot be good. Whatever makes the man not to be good, the woman is not good. Whatever makes the woman not to be good, the man is not good. He made them male and female. At the beginning, he made them male and female. It should be very, very clear to us. What that means is this. Somebody said, "Ah, things are not like that. Two people are fighting." [Speaks in Yoruba] Jesus said "male and female." I will explain. Now, if you look at Genesis—I'm trying to be a little fast because I believe we also have some students of the Bible—creation started. Day one, day two, day three, day four, day five, day six. Let me return this. Day five, day six, and by day six, creation was over. Am I correct? Am I right? Now, when God was creating the animals, one after the other, through out the creation of all the animals, was there a mention of female? Was there a mention of female? No. The Bible say he made them in their kinds. [Speaks in Yoruba] When it came to Adam, when he wanted to make man, he said, "And God created him, male and female." Female was emphasized when it came to the creation of man. Is that not true? That's number one. Number two: Do you also notice that it is only in man that the female was made out of the male? When they were creating gorillas, elephant, "Let there be this, let there be that, let the air be filled with this," but we know they were male and female because at Genesis 1:21-22 he said "Be fruitful and multiply." [Speaks in Yoruba] But the female was not emphasized. But when it came to man, he said "I want to create male and female." Deliberately, the first thing was a cadaver for the man, and then he became a living being. And then the man was journeying. All of these thing took place on the sixth day because woman was created on the sixth day. Is that not? But not at the same time. Am I correct? Not at the same time. [Speaks in Yoruba] Later, he now said "It is not good for him to be alone." So on the sixth day, the two were made, but it came earlier. Later again, what did God do? God turned the man back again to what? A cadaver. [Speaks in Yoruba] Because sleep is a temporary death, why death is a permanent sleep. Am I correct? So he made him to sleep the sleep of death again. He was like a cadaver. And then he took a bone and then fashioned it, fashioned it, fashioned it and then brought out the woman. That happened only in man. That is why God said, "Have you not read that [Speaks in Yoruba] first he made one, then he made the second one from the first one?" Because when Adam now saw him, what did he say? "This is the... ah, this is the bone of my bone." [Speaks in Yoruba] This one is bone, this one is the first, because the bone of this one, that's what he used to make the second one. Now, by that implication, please brethren, by that implication for us as men, is our wife another creation or the extension of the man? The person you call woman is what? The bone of the man. So what God simply did was to extend the man. He just extended the man here. And if you look at it, brethren, because somebody was asking me in one of the seminars, he said, "Ah, but sir, I don't understand. What actually... how did we become one? What makes us to be one?" We are Bible scholars here. In 1 Corinthians 5 and 6, Paul was speaking. He said, "He that joined himself to an harlot is what? Is one body with the harlot." Is that not? For what does the Bible say again? He said, "The two shall become one." He quoted Matthew 19. Is that not what the Bible says? He said, "Will I then take the body of the Lord and join it to who? To a prostitute?" God forbid. God forbid. Of every sin a man sin, it's without the body. Is that not? But he that commits sexual sin, does what? Sin against the body. How? Because sex is a joining. Marriage is honorable in all (Hebrews 13:4), the bed undefiled. Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Marriage takes place on the bed. [Speaks in Yoruba] God will judge them. Why? Because there is something about it. Let me just speak a little from a background from my profession. If you look at the physiology of the woman, [Speaks in Yoruba] which we call the vulva area. For a woman who have not had sex before, the vulva area is covered by a particular membrane that we call hymen. Hymen. [Speaks in Yoruba] It covers the face if a woman has not slept with a man before. To cover the face. That hymen, medically speaking, there is nothing inside apart from it's just a tissue that contain blood. [Speaks in Yoruba] Just blood. Now look at what God did. God placed the hymen to cover the vulva area, the opening, that opening. God used it to cover it. And God said, "Sex should not be until when? Until marriage." So what is God saying? It means when you want to enter through to have a sex, what happens? You must break the hymen. When you break the hymen, what happens? Blood will come out. Where will it pour? On your penis. [Speaks in Yoruba] The life of an animal is in the blood. The life of an animal is in the blood. Marriage is a life covenant and a blood covenant. That is why God hate fornication. That is why God hate it. God intend that it should be a blood and a life covenant. That's the intention of God. [Speaks in Yoruba] So that if a man takes his wife, before he calls her his wife, the parents would have done a marriage ceremony. If they don't do ceremony and he just takes a woman, it's fornication. But if he has done ceremony and now he takes her and puts her on the bed, what happens? He wants to join his body. Once he does that, they are no longer two. They are no longer two. And let me show you that that thing is true. [Speaks in Yoruba] If we give birth to someone today, can he die again? He can only transition. He will leave here, either in heaven or in hell. Man don't die. Man is like God because he's made in the image of God. Man is a spirit. Is that not true? I want to ask you, brethren. A penis entered into a vagina. We call it sex. Is that not true? But what comes out of it is a spirit. A man that cannot die. So, is sex physical? Is sex physical? [Speaks in Yoruba] What came out of it is something that entered God's presence. It's a spirit that will never die. So, is sex a physical thing? Sex is a mysterious thing. And that is the mystery of marriage. So that once a man looks at his wife and says "You are mad," the spiritual implication is that the man also comes back to him, "The man is mad." That's the spiritual implication. Because sex is a spiritual thing. That joining you did was not just a physical thing. It was a spiritual thing. So it's not a small thing. When we say "They are no longer two, they are one," it's not a matter of a joke. It's a reality. Reality. [Speaks in Yoruba] No joke there. And let me blow open your mind about some things because as a philosopher, we study some things about religion. Do you notice that there is a great similarity between the operation in darkness and the operation in light? Because of course the power in the hand of the devil comes from God. Is that not? Don't you ever notice that in deep occultic world, there is always a female figure? There's always a female figure. Don't you ever notice that when they want to destroy a man, if they just sleep with a woman, everything about the man is gone? Am I not correct? And don't you see that even darkness understand that there is power in sex? They understand it. So, the first thing I want us to establish for us as men is that if you are not married, it's a different ball game. But the day you took a woman, whether by play or by whatever, and the parents bless you and you do your marriage ceremony and you take her, you slept with her, it's another reality. [Speaks in Yoruba] Reality. Now, see another thing I want to add to it. Do you notice that he now said, "For this reason, for this reason..." I'm quoting scriptures. I'm not opening because I want to be fast. I believe you know I'm quoting scripture. "For this reason, a man shall..." Do you notice that there is nothing mentioned about the woman? Have you ever read that a woman leaves? Does it mean that women don't leave their parents' house? [Speaks in Yoruba] My own is in my house, she stays with me anywhere I go. But do you notice that in the Bible, is there anywhere the Bible says the woman leaves? No. Why? It says "For this reason, the man shall leave father and mother." Maybe you are getting it gradually. It is the man that marries the woman. It is the man that took the bone of his bone. Are you following me? He took. Once that has been done and then he joins himself, what is the next thing for him to do? Is to leave everything and do what? And cleave to her. [Speaks in Yoruba] This thing is very deep for the Yorubas. Do you know that the Bible says, "Because of this reason, the man should leave father and mother and cleave to his wife"? [Speaks in Yoruba] He should cleave. My brother, please come. I want to show you something. [Speaks in Yoruba] He should cleave. Move to that side. He should cleave. Move again. He should cleave. Anything you find there, just cleave. Cleave. Cleave. [Speaks in Yoruba] Don't separate from her. No, it is not your calling again. You must get that very clear. Cleave. If you are on the bed and she says "Leave me," what should you do? Cleave. "I said leave me alone!" Cleave. If you don't cleave, if you leave her, then there can be no divorce. It is not her to cleave, it is you to cleave. That is the reality of this matter. That was what they brought to Jesus. "Can a man put her away for any reason?" Jesus said, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning... something happened at the beginning. Made them male and female and said, 'For this reason, a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife,' so they are no longer two, but they are one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Jesus was through with them. They now said, "Why then did Moses allow us to put away our wife?" What was Jesus' answer? "Moses allowed you to put away your wife because of what? The hardness of your heart." Once you see a man who does not cleave, there is a problem with his heart. Don't lie against the truth, men. If you don't cleave, something have done wrong with your heart. There is a problem. It's not with the woman. It is the hardness in the heart of the man. You will say, "But sir, sometimes these wives behave like their head is not correct." If her head is turning, that head that is turning, you will know what to do. It's your extension. It's you. It's you. We are no longer two. If she does like this, who did like that? It is you. Not her. You see, it will give you the perspective of what it means. As I enter the second, I want to build some structure now. I'm through with the foundation. Is there any issue about this foundation? Once the foundation is laid, I want to build on it. One last thing in the foundation: Do you notice that when God wanted to create man, he said "male and female." I return to the shoe illustration. But when he was creating the animals, he made them in their kinds. [Speaks in Yoruba] Please, what does that tell? I want to speak to something that has become a common trend today and, I'm sorry to say but I'm not hurting anybody, some spiritual bastards are promoting it. What makes us spiritual is the word of God. Once we leave the word of God, we are no more spiritual, we are just religious. Do you see that when God wanted to create man, he said "male and female"? But when he was creating the animals, it was in their kinds. Do you notice that among the animals, there is no definite sexual partner? I have turkey in my house, I think they are about the 27th generation now. When they grow up, they sleep with their mother. The same thing with dogs and everything. Am I not correct? There is no defined sexual partner. Anyone that is available. But when God wanted to make man, God said no, man should not be running around like that. Why must he not run around like that? Because God will help me, I will finish it. If I cannot finish today, me is not how far. I prefer to teach two things correctly than teach 30 that are not clear. I believe God will give us opportunity to meet again. We will still go on. But please get these things as I'm putting them. Now, [Speaks in Yoruba] do you know that in the university or the governor's office, if you go there, you will see "Reserved" for who? Maybe the deputy governor. You cannot park here. If you enter their office, you see secretary's seat, typist's seat, messenger's seat. Is that not? But if you see our boys, do they have place for "Reserved"? No. If you go to the university, for example, let's use university where I work. You will see for Bursar, for VC, for Deputy VC, for Librarian, for HOD, for Dean. You don't see for Lecturer. Even if you are Professor, there's nothing for Professor this, you are among the boys. You are not principal. So Adam was not among the boys to be running around. No. He must have a reserved something special any time he needs her. He don't have to be running around. Monogamy is honor. Polygamy is a disgrace. Monogamy is honor. It's not a limitation. God was not limiting man. No. Man was the principal officer. He was the only one that carries the image of God. He wants to be a lord over them. He cannot be sleeping around. You ever see a VC going around from woman to woman? Driver, messenger, they can do that. It's an honor. But the foolishness in man, because his understanding became darkened, man now think that monogamy is a restriction. Animals are polygamist, and polygamists are animals. Animals are polygamist. Polygamists are animals. Am I clear with that foundation? Now the structure. I want to quickly build something on that and then I will try to round up. We know there's still time for a lot of things. Now, when we enter into the New Testament, I want to make a movement. We were here yesterday. [Speaks in Yoruba] I drew three circles yesterday. What came first? The family. What followed? The law. What followed? The tabernacle. So people began to worship God in the tabernacle. The tabernacle became the temple of Solomon. Am I correct? And they were still worshipping God on and on. What did God do again? When Jesus appeared on the stage, what happened to the tabernacle? God took the curtain and tore it into two. So that God no more live inside one physical building. Our body is now the temple of God. God turned back to the original. Where is God's temple? Our body. That was what God was doing originally. Jesus came to set the order. Now you will notice that when Paul was speaking, Paul now said, "Husbands," I'm now in Ephesians 5, that popular scripture, "Husbands, love your wives as..." what? "As Christ loved the church." What God said here, is it ambiguous? He's telling us as men there are several ways to love our wife. There are several ways to love our wife, but there's only one approved way based on the foundation that we have laid. The only approved way is to love her as Christ loved the church. That's the only approved way. Any other way, there is a problem with the heart. There's just that way. Now, I want to build something on that way very, very quickly. Please let's look at the love of Christ for the church. When was that love displayed? When the church was holy? The church was godly? The church was living right? Christ now came to die for us. Why did he die for us? The Bible says while we were yet his enemies. So if you are to love your wife as Christ loved the church, when are you to love her? [Speaks in Yoruba] Men, speak. When are we to love her? All the time. You love her in her imperfections. That's it. To love her in her imperfection. That is when you really need to express love to a woman. It's in all her instabilities, [Speaks in Yoruba] she's misbehaving, she doesn't want to submit to you, she's doing this, she's doing that. That is when love is needed. It's not when she says "My husband, the rice is ready, I've put it on the table." You say "Ah, I love you." You only like her, you don't love her yet. We like what gives us pleasure, but what determines love? The commitment of love. It is understanding that you love her while she is yet an enemy. Then number two: Do you realize when did we come to love Christ? We love him because he first loved us. Who will teach the woman how to love? The man. When you really love her in her instability, by the time that love will return she will be ready to die for you. But you must first love her. That is why he says, please look at there, he says "As Christ loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word, that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but she should be holy and blameless." Who worked for the church to be holy? Jesus. You are the one to work. Your wife's head is not correct? Your work is there. It's your work. What you were called, that's what it means to be a man. It's not to master them. No, that's not a man. To be a man is to sanctify her, is to make her holy, is to lay down yourself for her so that she might be godly, she might be holy. People will look at her, they say "Ah, this woman is beautiful. This woman is sweet." Who worked it? A man has worked. Hallelujah. Somebody did some job. When we see the woman stand, when you see a woman stand and she's standing in glory, a man has worked somewhere. That your wife [Speaks in Yoruba] I wish you will start work today. And before you know it, you will start seeing her without wrinkle. You will not be seeing spot again. When people look at her, they say "Ah, which kind of woman is smart like this? Why are you admiring somebody else's own? Better go and work on your own too. You are the one that joined yourself to her. She's not the one who joined herself to you. You took the job. You are to be... he says, look at the next thing. Look at verse 28. It says "So ought men to do what? To love their wives as their own body. He who loves his wife loves himself." And can I say this: He who curses his wife curses himself. He who mash down his wife mashes down himself. He who kicks off his wife kicks off himself. That's scripture. This is the word of God. Look at it. He says "For no one, for no one has ever..." has it happened? He said no. Please, brethren, men, I want to bring this to you. If you look at yourself, you to yourself, are there not something about yourself that you don't like about yourself? Are there not something about yourself that you don't like about yourself? [Speaks in Yoruba] You don't like this about me. Is there not something like that about yourself? But have you... was there any time you hate yourself? [Speaks in Yoruba] It's not possible for you. Oh, brethren, as we fellowship. It's not possible for you. [Speaks in Yoruba] You will package it. Am I correct? If there's a part of you that has a scar, when you want to go out you cover it well, you put suit on it, you dress up. You will not go out and say "Look at me, look at me, this part of me is not good. My body is not good." Will you do that? That's why sometimes you see a man is gassing his wife outside. "Don't mind her. I've been telling her she doesn't listen. She's a confused person." You are the confused person! It's you. It's you. Understand what it means to be a man. You and the woman, you are not spiritual mates. They carry two different things. The woman is the glory of the man, the man is the glory of God. Any time the glory of God is not in a family, it is the man you should ask. It's not the woman. I don't mean woman don't sin, but that sin cannot become a problem if the man don't join the sin. It cannot become a problem. That is what Christ did. He was there. He was there. He said, "Father, forgive them." Oh, a man who is a priest and an intercessor. Lord, Lord, Lord, help me with this woman. Lord, please. They don't know what they are doing. A man is an intercessor. A man is a savior. A man is a deliverer. A man is a sacrifice for a life to become something. That is what you are. It's not first with the money. No, it's beyond that. There is first something about you that makes you the man. You're a deliverer. You are a savior. You are a sacrificial lamb for a generation not to perish. That is what you are. Let me say this last thing, I will stop now. This last thing. What I want to say is this: You notice that when Christ now died, what did he do? He went to hell again to save man. He led captivity captive. He went to set them free. When he came again, those who were cursing and insulting him, what did he do? He gave gifts unto them. Do you know that a man who have not learned how to pay evil back with good is not like Christ? You must learn to pay her evil back with what? With good! Let us stop here, brethren, so that we can join our wives. Hallelujah. [Outro Voice] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development and mission aid. Our regular activities are: Discipleship class every Monday 5:00 PM; Adolescent and Singles Club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Marriage Forum second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Family Life Seminars; regular school outreaches and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Idere Community, opposite Very Joy filling station along Igede Road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all.