The Tongue 3; Biblical Examples of Husbands

[Introductory Music] [Speaker 1] Churches or fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals or families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home front. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Background noise and chatter] [Speaker 1] We have been considering this very important topic from different angles. And I believe that if you have been following us, you will be noticing that the matter of the tongue is something very, very crucial for us. Not just for us as Christians, but also for us as husbands and as wives. I want to plead with you that if you have not been following us from the beginning of this topic, I mean from when we started in February, I would advise that you take your time to listen to the earlier messages on this topic so that you will be able to gather together everything that we have done so far. I believe that it will help you to put the whole thing together as one thing, which is very, very important for you. So today, in the month of February, we have looked at the matter of the tongue; we took a general perspective in looking at the matter of the tongue. In the month of March, it was "The Tongue: Biblical Examples of Women and Wives." Today, for the month of April, it is "The Tongue: Biblical Examples of Men and Husbands." That is our focus for today. The tongue: biblical examples of men and husbands. We have looked at the matter from the direction of the wife, and we want to look at it from the direction of men and husbands today. And in doing that, I would want to remind you that we have said that no man can tame the tongue. In taming the tongue, it is a matter of submission to the Lord. And as we look at it from the men's angle today, I want to beg you, open your heart to the truth of the scripture, and I believe that it will be a time of blessing. Let us have a word of prayer as we go into the message, the discussion this morning. Precious Father, we thank you for another second Saturday of the month, for the month of April. We want to consider the matter of the tongue from the biblical example of men and husbands. Lord, we just pray that as we all connect together, our brethren joining us on Mixlr, our brethren joining us online, we are trusting in you that it will be a time of visitation, a time of refreshment in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, we trust in you that you will meet with us individually, you will meet with us collectively, you will meet with us as a people in the name of Jesus. Thank you, eternal Father. Blessed be your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Now, the tongue: biblical examples of men and husbands. Like we did with that of the women, in the same way, we are handling that of the men this morning. The reason why we are saying "men and husbands" is that it is the man that will eventually become a husband. The man will eventually become a husband, and because the man will eventually become a husband, we look at how it affects men and how it translates into marriage. First, I want you to see one or two things in the book of Proverbs as an opening point for us to start. Look at Proverbs 16:32. Let's turn our Bible to the book of Proverbs 16:32. It says, "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." What I want to bring out there is that it is very, very, very important that a man is able to rule his spirit. A man is able to rule his spirit. It says, "he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." You see, the matter of the tongue for a man is a matter of the ability of the man to be able to rule his spirit. When a man, as a man, is a man who is easily overtaken by his anger, or who is easily ruled by his anger, that man is not likely to have an edifying use of the tongue. We will see a similar thing in the book of 1 Timothy. Look at 1 Timothy 2:7-8. The Bible says, "for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle—I am speaking the truth in Christ and not lying—a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth. I desire therefore that men..." Men here talking about the man, not men in terms of human beings. He is talking about men here because in verse 9 you will see "in like manner also that the women." So he is talking about men in verse 8. "I desire therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting." There is something about the anger of a man and the tongue of that man. When a man allows himself to be overrun by his anger, when a man allows himself to be taken by his anger, there is every tendency that the tongue of the man will not be used in a way that builds. Not as if only anger is the only thing that can control the tongue of a man; arrogance can do the same. But the point I'm making, first and foremost, is that a man must be able to rule his spirit. Not allowing himself to be ruled by his emotions. Not allowing himself to be ruled by bitterness, by malice, by anger, by wrath. Once a man allows his emotions to rule him and the man does not rule his spirit, then the man is not likely to use the tongue positively. [audio distortion] So it becomes very, very, very important to bring these two things together. [audio distortion] Now, so it is very, very crucial that the man understand that once he doesn't rule his spirit, then there is going to be problem. The Bible says it is better that a man be able to rule his spirit. What makes a man not to be able to rule his spirit, that same thing will make the man to use the tongue in a way that he ought not to use them. So the point I'm making for us as men—we the men—we must be able to rule our spirit. Once we are able to get that through, we are moving towards the correct use of the tongue. Don't forget that our focus this morning is biblical examples of men. I want us to move quickly to different biblical examples in this matter of the tongue. And I want to pick the matter from where we left the matter when we were looking at the case of the women. We looked at the family of Abigail, and at that point, because we were looking at the women, we did not look at the case of the husband in that story. What we simply looked at was just the wife, Abigail. But this time around, I want us to be able to look at it now from the other angle, the case of the husband, the person in the story that was the husband of Abigail. It's important for us to also look at him and tie the matter together to look at how, if not that David was on his way to destroy the family of Nabal, what happened? What was said? What was the matter that led to it? Let's quickly go to the book of 1 Samuel 25 and see how the matter went in that episode. Let's see what Nabal said in terms of what happened and then how the matter became a matter that David found himself being on the way to go and destroy that family. 1 Samuel 25:2: "Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. She was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was churlish and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb. When David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep, David sent ten young men; and David said to the young men, 'Go up to Carmel, go to Nabal, and greet him in my name. And thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity: "Peace be to you, peace to your house, and peace to all you have! Now I have heard that you have shearers. Your shepherds were with us, and we did not hurt them, nor was there anything missing from them, all the while they were in Carmel. Ask your young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David."' So when David's young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in the name of David, and waited. And Nabal answered David's servants and said, 'Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each from his own master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?' So David's young men turned on their heel and went back; and they came and told him all these words. Then David said to his men, 'Every man gird on his sword.' So every man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword. And about four hundred men went with David, and two hundred stayed with the supplies. Now one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying, 'Look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master; and he reviled them.'" David sent men from the wilderness to talk to our master, and he insulted them. David sent messengers from the desert to give our master his greeting, but he hurled insults at them. David sent messengers from the back country to salute our master, but he tore into them with insults. "Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master, and he railed at them." Now, I want you to see something in this story. We are looking at the tongue, biblical examples of men. And I want you to see something very crucial in this story. Look at how the Bible lays the matter at the opening of that story. The Bible says, "The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. She was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was churlish and evil in his doings." But Nabal, a descendant of Caleb, was mean and dishonest in his dealings. "But her husband was surly and mean in his dealings." What am I trying to make you see, brethren, is that you will notice that the Bible described the man before the Bible now told us what the man said. The implication of that is what I began with. The Bible says, "He that rules his spirit is better than he that takes a city." It is so crucial that a man be able to rule his spirit. Once a man cannot rule his spirit, what you'll be finding in the life of that man is that the man will be churlish and evil in his doings. So you notice that before the Bible began to tell us how the man used his tongue, the Bible made us to see the kind of man. So the kind of man is actually the basis of the kind of tongue. That's the point I'm making. So the matter is not just "let me wash my tongue," no. The matter is first, let me have rule over my spirit. Let me have control. Because you cannot separate the kind of man from the kind of tongue. Because the Bible was going to tell us how the man almost ruined his family by the use of his tongue. What did he say? And what was it that David had made up his mind to do? David sent young men to this man, and the man insulted these servants. What was David set to go and do when he told his young men, "Every man gird on his sword"? What was on the mind of David? What was he on his way to do? Look at what the Bible says David was on his way to do. Verse 34: "For indeed, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has kept me back from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning light no male would have been left to Nabal." When David told his men to follow him, what was he going to do with Nabal? He was going to wipe out everything that pertains to Nabal by morning. You see how a man who had no control over his spirit, the tongue ruined the entire family. If not for Abigail, Nabal's household would have been wiped out by morning. Now, we see that a man who has not mastered his spirit is a more dangerous spirit than he who cannot rule his tongue. Particularly the emotion of bitterness, the emotion of anger, the emotion of hurt. If a man don't have rule over it, then most likely, the man will have a tongue that will ruin the man. And that is what we find with Nabal. If the Bible says the man is a churlish man and his dealings are evil, the Bible is telling us how the man had been dealing with his household. And so, I want to plead with us as men. One fundamental thing about the man and the tongue is ability to rule the spirit. Particularly separating anger, bitterness, malice from the use of the tongue. Why is this very crucial? Let's look at the matter again in the book of Genesis. The story of Noah. Of course, the Bible says Noah found favor with God, so while everything was getting ready to be destroyed, God instructed Noah to build the ark. Noah built the ark, eventually he and his sons, the sons and their wives, their children, they entered into the ark. The three children and his own wife and everybody, they entered the ark. And eventually the flood came. Of course, Noah and his family, they were saved. They left the ark when God remembered them and everything went dry. They came out of the ark and life went on. And then Noah made sacrifice to God. It became a memorial and God had to set the bow, the rainbow in the sky, that anytime he sees the rainbow, he will not destroy the earth with water again. But however, in Genesis 9:20: "And Noah began to be a farmer, and he planted a vineyard. Then he drank of the wine and was drunk, and became uncovered in his tent. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. But Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and went backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned away, and they did not see their father's nakedness." So Noah woke up from his sleep—the drunkenness of wine. May we not be taken by the deceitfulness of wine in the name of Jesus Christ. So when he woke up from it, the wine had left his eyes now. He is now back to himself, and he knew what the younger son had done to him. Then he said: "Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants he shall be to his brethren." And he said: "Blessed be the Lord, the God of Shem, and may Canaan be his servant." Now, Canaan is the son of Ham. Ham gave birth to Canaan. But what I want us to look at in this place is this: what is it that happened? The father got drunk. I'm looking at a balance. The Bible says, "honor your father and your mother." Again, the Bible says, "parents, don't provoke your children to anger." Now, in this situation, it was the father that got drunk of his own accord. When he got drunk, one of the sons who also happened to be the youngest of the children came and saw the father's nakedness and he went to tell the other two brothers and those ones turned their back, they covered him and all of that. Now the Bible says when Noah was told what happened—who would have told him? Maybe the children, maybe the wife. We don't know who disclosed it. And what would have been disclosed to him is that—we don't know exactly what the son did when he saw the father. We really don't know. But in any case, whatsoever he did was reported to the father. And what did the father do? The father cursed the children's children of that son. Now, the point I'm making is this: while it is true that children ought to honor their parents, it is equally important for us to see that what the young man did ordinarily, if not that Noah was speaking from the point of bitterness, from the point of anger, from the point of malice, from the point of "Ah! He did this to me? Ah! Oh!" And because he was speaking from that point, he by himself cursed his own generation. By himself. Would he had ordinarily cursed his generation or blessed them? He would have blessed them. And that is the point. So wherever you are and you are listening to me, one thing you must do as a man is you must have victory over your emotions, your anger, your wrath. That's why the Bible says in Timothy, "I wish that men will pray, lifting up holy hands, without wrath, without anger." It is so crucial. The reason why this is so crucial is because when you look into the Bible, you will notice something. There was no place in the Bible where a woman cursed her generation. Are you following me, brethren? There is no place. Go and check the Bible where a woman cursed her generation. The instances we have where generation was cursed, it was by who? It was by men. And what led to this, if you go and check it, was anger. But I want to ask you, the curse that the men cursed their generation, did it happen to them or it did not happen to them? It happened to them. I am sure that Noah would have been somebody who had been wishing his children to be great in life. Am I correct? But he found himself at a point doing what? Cursing his own generation. What would have led to that? Wrath. Anger. So you see, it is very, very crucial that the man is able to rule his spirit. He allows his spirit to be ruled by the grief of what the son did. We don't know exactly what the son did. Maybe the son went laughing and we don't know. But the point is that Noah cursed his own generation. I give you another example. Jacob and Reuben. What did Reuben do? He slept with the father's concubine. What did the father say when it happened? He didn't say anything. What did he do? Malice. He held that thing in him. The thing was eating him. He carried it inside him. He didn't say anything. And he waited till the day he was to bless the children. Would it not have been better for Noah to call the son, "This is what I learned that you did. You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have done that," than to curse the generation? Look at that of the man again. Would it not have been a better thing instead of piling up what he did, and you were living with him peacefully, as if everything was normal? Mind you, you are piling up. That's a malicious intent. The day you are now to bless him, your children were coming, you now lifted up yourself, and what you have to tell him: "Turbulent as water, you will never excel." If not for Moses that came to reverse those things—the point I'm trying to make out—the point I'm trying to bring out is there is something about us men. When Noah cursed Ham, that curse did it follow him? It does. When David cursed—when Jacob cursed Reuben, did it follow him? It does. What was the prayer of Moses? "Let Reuben live." Why? Because they were cursed. What I'm trying to make you see, men, is there is a connection between your authority and your tongue. There is a connection between your authority and your tongue. When you use your tongue, you must understand that something is going with it. That authority, that generational authority, is going with it. So you must understand that the use of your tongue—while you may be thinking that you are just using your tongue because you are angry—you need to understand that unlike that of your wife, generation is counted in the man. I'll show you something. If you read through the Bible, I've not found anywhere a woman sinned and God cursed the woman and her generation. The generation was cursed in who? In Ahab. In Ahab. It was cursed in Ahab. But when God wanted to deal with the husband, he cursed him and his generation. Look at it again. When they wanted to curse the servant of Elisha, Gehazi, you notice again the leprosy of Naaman will follow you and who? And your generation. When they wanted to curse Eli, what was it? He and his generation. God said, "Far be it from me. I have said you and your children will be... no. I honor those who honor me." Now I want to tell you my judgment on you. "My judgment is that nobody in your line will live long to old age. If they live to old age, they will either be a beggar. That's what they are going to be if they live to old age." And not only that, "I'm going to give you a sign that this thing will come to pass." What was the sign that God gave him? He said, "Your two sons, they will die..." That's not the judgment oh. That is the sign that what God said will come to pass. "Your two sons, they will die in one day." So you see what I'm trying to make you see: generation is in who? Is in the man. And that is why the man must mind what? The use of his tongue. He must mind the use of his tongue. It's very, very crucial. Even when Moses' elder sister, Miriam, when she sinned against Moses, you remember the case? When Aaron and they were envying Moses and said, "Is it only Moses that God speaks to?" And God now answered them, "When there is a prophet among you, I do this. You are not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?" When they wanted to punish Miriam, what did God say? He didn't curse her and her generation. He said, "Look, if your father spit in your face, you'll be ashamed for so-so time. So go and stay outside the camp." That was all. But when they wanted to deal with Achan, how many people did they kill? All of them. So you see, what I am trying to show you is that to the tongue of the man is the generation of that man. Authority, generational authority is in your tongue. So the man must be mindful what and what and what you say to your children, what and what and what you say to your wife, what and what and what you say in your situation. If the woman says, "Ah, I'm tired oh. I'm tired. I... this marriage, I'm through with it. I'm tired of this marriage. This marriage is over." What she said is serious, right? But it is not as serious as when a man says that. That's what you will see in Genesis. Eve ate the fruit first, but the consequence came when Adam ate it. When a woman sin, sin has occurred. When a man sin, sin enters. That authority that it was by Adam that Eve sinned is what I'm talking about. Some of the things that will happen to your wife and to your children is not because of what your wife and the children are themselves. What they said may be wrong. It is more also on what you say to your wife and children. That is very crucial. If a woman says, "This marriage is over," and the man says, "By the grace of God, this marriage is not over," what is going to have effect on that home is the pronouncement of the man. I don't know whether you get the point I'm making. So as a man, it is so crucial for you to see when it comes to the tongue, especially in men and husbands. It is crucial that while you are still a man, begin to learn how to control your spirit. He who controls his spirit is better than he who takes a city. Because he who takes a city without rule—who has not learned to rule his spirit—will still come back to ruin that city. You are coming back to ruin that marriage. You are coming back to scatter that marriage. You are coming back to make it useless. Because by the time issues begin to come, what will rule your tongue will be your bitterness. "Husbands, love your wife. Don't be bitter." Once that thing rules your tongue, it will not be well with you. And when you are putting all of that together, you forgot a very important thing: that unlike the woman who can talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk—it's only tearing you and wearying you. Sin is only occurring, it's not entering. Are you understanding? For you, it is the other way. When you are doing like that, your own is not talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Your own carries what? Authority. So while the woman have their own, the men have their own. What I'm trying to make you see is that when a man does not rule his spirit so he can rule his tongue, it is more disastrous than that of the woman. Both of them are disastrous, but that of the man is generational. Everything about the woman ends with the woman and ends in their marriage. But that of the man transcends the woman and enters the generation. When a man look at his wife [African language], you think you're dealing with the woman. You forgot that he himself [laughter]. You know when a woman says that to the man, it pains the man, sin occurs. But when a man says it to a woman, sin enters. So while the woman can push the man to extreme, the woman can—the man can destroy the entirety by the tongue. So in both ways, there is no way the tongue, when not properly used, there is no way it is beneficial. And that is why I have purposely shown you these scriptures beginning and I want to show you something that make that of God to differ. Let me show you something. I've shown you Jacob, right? What he did to Reuben. I've shown you Noah, what he did to Ham. I've shown you Nabal, how by his tongue, if not for Abigail, that family would have been ruined. Now I now want to show you God. Genesis 3. Why am I showing you God? By the time I show you this, I will go and show you the reason in 1 Corinthians 11. Genesis 3. I read from verse 11. Genesis 3 from verse 11. And he said, "Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?" The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate." So he shifted the blame, right? And the Lord said to the woman, when the Lord was quiet, you will think that nothing again is coming to... That's why sometimes people don't understand God's quietness. You are doing certain things and it looks like you are prospering in it. It doesn't mean that it is approved by God. So God moved to the woman, and he said to the woman, "What is this that you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." What did she also do? She shifted the blame. So the Lord said to the serpent... so we look at it that things they shifted, there's no problem about them. But I just want you to see that for God, there is no justification for wrong. It doesn't matter who caused you to do wrong. There is no justification for wrong. "I didn't want to do it. It was my wife that made me to do it. I would not have said so. I would not have done that, if not that my husband..." There's nothing like that with God. There is no justification for wrong. It is you that think that because somebody did something, so you now did even though the person's evil, you are right. That's from your own angle. It's never from God's angle. You will still be punished for the wrong that you have done. They will punish that person too for his own, for making you to do what you did. Because the Bible says in Matthew 18, "Woe to the world because of offenses! They will always be reasons to stumble, but woe to the person that offense came from." So that people stumble, it doesn't mean that it is person who stumble alone that will face... the person who caused it also God will punish the person. There is no justification for wrong. But if you are thinking that because the person did evil, you now did evil because the person is evil, you will not be punished, you are deceiving yourself. God will deal with that person for the evil he did, but you who did evil because of evil will still be punished because you didn't obey God. That's why I was giving you the example that even though Reuben did wrong, forgiveness and not bitterness should have been the way forward for Jacob. Instruction in righteousness should have been the way forward for Noah. But the tongue was not used correctly. Now, God now began with the serpent. God want to start pronouncement. Baba wanted to use his tongue. I want to show you God now so that you can see why it is important. We're talking about God. We're talking about men. And the reason is because the woman is the glory of the man. The man is the image of God. The glory of God is man. The glory of the woman is—of man is woman. It is as the woman submit to the man and play her role faithfully in the life of a man that she fulfills her purpose in God. Except if she did not marry, then she can serve God directly. That's what Paul is saying in 1 Corinthians 7. He who is married will think of how to please the Lord and how to please her husband. That is what God wants. If she throw the yoke of her husband away, "I want to please God," God will also throw her away. That is not the order. The order is, it is as you please the husband that you please God. Do you get the point I want to bring out? That's very, very crucial. Now, what am I trying to bring out in this place? Is that you know the man is the glory of God. The man is expected to reflect God's glory in their marriage. Do you get the point I want to bring out? Look at God. God spoke to the serpent. He says, "You are cursed more than all the cattle, and more than every beast of the field. On your belly you shall go, and you shall eat dust all the days of your life." God is speaking, using his tongue. Look at what follows. What follows next? "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise His heel." What was God's first pronouncement? When God was to give his judgment, he began with the serpent. In beginning his pronouncement of judgment, what do you notice about God? God had already pronounced redemption before he began to pronounce his injunction on man. He has pronounced redemption. Oh, may we be like our Father. I'm talking about men, we men. No matter he had been annoyed, something has gone wrong, what he fashioned, "Don't eat this thing," they have gone to eat it. He didn't go, "You man, you will die!" He didn't begin from all of those places. He first began with redemption. There will be a Seed. Serpent, don't worry. A Seed is coming. Hallelujah! You see the ways of God. Are you provoked? Are you...? What is it? The secret of the man using his tongue correctly in that place will be—the Lord ties the tongue of the man to the ability of the man to rule his spirit. It's a very crucial thing. And when you look at all the instances we have been mentioning, they are instances of provocation. They are instances of provocation. Something happened. Something happened. Look at again, it's an instance of something happened. "Don't eat this thing." They have gone to eat it. And then God started. And he made pronouncement for redemption before he now came to the woman, with this; to the man, with that. He gives, he gives, he gives all injunction. And of course, there was a way out for man. And you notice, it was only for man that there was a way out. There's nothing again. Heaven will pass away, earth will pass away. The only thing that is coming from this one into the next one is man. Why? Because there was a pronouncement. "I'm going to raise a Seed that is going..." and that's why when Jesus came, they said, "I will build my church, the gates of hell will not prevail." Coming back to where? To the beginning. You see, God had declared the end from the beginning. What I'm trying to make you see, many things that you will see in your marriage, it is how do you use the power of words? The power of words. Because the things that will be seen, many of them, they will not be created from what appeared. They will be fashioned by words. So brethren, it is better to be patient in spirit. To be patient in spirit and to rule, to rule your spirit than to first take a city. This is very important for us as men. I want us to read—look at something in Proverbs 19:11. Proverbs 19:11. That's what we are closing with. Proverbs 19:11. "Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook transgression or an offense." Are you seeing that? It would have been Noah's, it would have been Jacob's, it would have been Nabal's honor to have overlooked. Even if some people have come to you and say, "We came from David and we have been keeping your sheep, we made sure nothing is happening." He would have said, "Okay, please." It would even concern me and this kind of people. If you have been keeping my sheep, did I ask you to help me keep them? Did I give you work to do? Anyway, just give them... he said give us whatever you have. You draw a few things and give. "Who is David? Where is he from? Some useless servant that run away from their masters, they are now looking for food!" What? You don't have any information about him and you are describing him. That's the problem with people who don't have control over their tongue. You don't know who the person is, and please, what did David say? David said, "You can ask your servants, they will tell you." That's what David said. He would have said, "Okay, please, this David, who is he? What...?" You get the point? He should have asked questions. And you will notice something: the servants themselves, when he said that, did they talk back to him? They didn't talk back to him. Who did they go to? They went to the wife. Because they don't have—he is somebody they cannot even give advice. And I tell people, when you present a personality that people cannot talk back to you, make things, they just leave you. It may not help you. That man—and that's why you notice that we talk about the description, he was a bad man, he was a foolish man. So it's very important. He should have been patient. "Oh, please, don't just..." and then talk, talk any how. And then talk as if he's through. He didn't know that—but thank God for the wife. He would have just seen Spider-Man, Spider-Man or Power Rangers. They will just appear and then "Ah!" Where are these ones appearing from? And then they would have just finished everything. You know when Superman appear, all human beings are killed, except you bring Superman again to come and fight all those enemies. So it's just telling you that the tongue is a little thing, but it can spark up fire that you will not be able to control. So it would have been patient. It would have been patient, it would have been slow in taking an offense. He should not have taken that offense the way he took it. That's what we are seeing in those people. And that is why you see God in—in that of God, when they were talking—when the man said, "It is the woman," God said, "Shut up! Shut up! Which woman? Did the woman put the food in your mouth? Did she tie your hands and then put it? Shut up there! Do this." And God has finished saying all what he wants to say before he pronounced redemption. Are you understanding? When the man spoke, God said, "Okay." When the man spoke, God said, "Okay, the woman, right? Okay, so woman, he said it is you oh. So what happened? What happened?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me and I ate." So it is the serpent? Okay. God now went to the serpent because he was patient, he was slow. If not, the judgment would have begun from where? From Adam! The person who spoke first was the person that he came back to last. We men, may we be like God. May we be like God. "People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs." [Background music starts] Hallelujah! Hallelujah! They earn esteem by overlooking wrong. "Smart people..." Oh, may we be smart. Look at what it said. "Smart people know how to hold their tongue. Their grandeur is to forgive and forget." What they call their glory—one thing about me, I can just forgive and forget. Their own glory, people who are smart. People who are smart, if you are really smart, you will know how to hold your tongue. What they glory in is that they can quickly forgive and forget. That's what they glory in. Smart people. Why? Because they have an understanding of life. May we be smart. May we be wise. May we be full of discretion. In the name of Jesus Christ. In the name of Jesus Christ. We have a question here from brethren who are here. Please, is that question online? So we have a question here. [Speaker 2] Sir, can we say that all fathers that curse in anger, can we say they are not spiritual enough or what? God never rebuked them. [Speaker 1] We don't have record that God rebuked them. No, we don't have that record. It's like this: they are not spiritual enough, that's the answer. They would have done it better, but don't forget that they don't have example to follow. We have example to learn from. I want us to always know that. Not because I was somewhere, somebody said, "See, Abraham had two wives, and God blessed him. God even blessed Ishmael, he made him twelve prince, he gave him twelve princes and all of that. So God wants us to have two wives." I had to tell the person that please, get something right. These people, they were living within a culture and there was no word of God to follow. They were living their lives and they were discovering God. There was nothing like reading a book. It was by the time Moses came that there was compilation. Even Abraham lived ever before the law came. So there was no collection that they were following. You need to understand all of this. It's now clear to us. It is in Christ now we know the correct order. Christ said, "He who made them from the beginning made them male and female and said, 'A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and he who leave that wife and take another commits adultery.'" So Abraham committed adultery even though in that culture, they said the wife can give the younger wife. Committed adultery! Because we now understood it better. And that's why Abraham, even why many of those things are not counted as sin to them, it is because they were sin of ignorance. That's why it says that the days of ignorance God overlooked, but now he has commanded everybody to come to God through Christ. Am I making sense to you, sir? There are days of ignorance. There are things people did. Look at when God was telling David when he went to take another wife again—you know the king can marry as many as he liked. And so when he got another wife who was somebody else's wife, Bathsheba, God said, "Look, if you had asked me for more women, I would have given you more women." Somebody said, "Heh! You see, God said he would have given David more women. So it means that God wants men to marry..." You don't understand that God was speaking within the context of something. God was saying that what you did—the point is that if you had wanted to marry, I have told these people... You know when they went to ask him for king? God said he rejected him as king. He said the ways of the king that they will be like other nation. No, it's not like the nation of God. We forgot all of that that God said at the beginning. "Look for them, they wanted king for them." Because the king will be like king of other nations. We just be taking Bible scattered-ly and then be justifying our wrong. God said if you take a king, that king will take your daughters, make them wives, your sons, make them this, make them that. So when David was doing it, he was fulfilling what God had said will happen. So God was speaking in that context that even if you had wanted more wives, you should have taken virgins, not that it would have been this wife of somebody else. Not that God was justifying polygamy. Because he was the one who made them at the beginning. And said those things that were said at the beginning were the things that remain today. A Seed shall come, bruise the head of the serpent. This Seed is coming to bruise the head of the serpent. Because God declares the end from the beginning. The end had been declared from the beginning. And that is why Jesus always go back to where? The beginning. Paul, when he writes, where? The beginning. The end was declared from the beginning. What leads us to the beginning was life. We need life. Jesus came back to give us that life. So we must understand all of this. So they did a lot of things that were not right, but they were not imputed as sin to them because for example, in the time of Abraham, while there is no law, there is no sin. Sin could not be imputed, but they were counted as sin because in all those things, they were sincerely following God. But you know you live within the culture where you live. In our culture we marry two wives, you marry. Because there is no clear word of God. Are you understanding me? So they were living within that. And then it was clear to us. You don't use an unclear scripture to justify a clear scripture. God spoke very clearly. So the fathers did some things in their ignorance. I hope you get the point I'm making. So God may not have reacted as though he was dealing with somebody who had seen, but overlooked a lot of things. I hope you get the point I'm making. That's why it says that God does not deal with us according to our sin. Like a father spares his son, so the Lord spares those who fear Him. Because He remembers our frame, He knows that we are dust. So God—that's how God deals with us. And that is how it should be in our dealings. I believe I've been able to answer that question. Now the other one is that what do we do to correct some of... when some of us out of anger curse our wife? Okay, you are talking about in a situation where we have out of—where we have done damage. How do we do damage control? Yes, damage control is done. That's why we said that we know that God has second chance, third chance, fourth chance. But we don't say because we know that we now begin to take God for granted. Because you cannot choose both your action and their consequences. You cannot. So where we realize that we are wrong, what the Bible tells us to do is that he who confesses his sin and forsake them shall be shown mercy. That's what we know. That's what we turn to about God. I hope you get the point. That's what we know. Whether what He now decides is about Him. I hope you get the point I'm making. What we know is that, "Ah, I've come to realize that this thing is wrong in my life." What God says is, "Oya, turn, forsake it." Turn, forsake. It says "from glory to glory he's changing me, he's changing me, he's changing me, from earthly to heavenly." So he's changing us. So once we realize that oh, this thing is wrong in my life, what am I supposed to do? I change. That's what He expects from me. While we are talking about the others is to—for us where we are saying that, "En-hen, God will forgive, let me sin." Let us be careful. But what we know from scripture is that when we realize our errors, he says turn from them, forsake them, and you shall be shown mercy. I believe I've answered you, sir. Okay. [Background noise and speaking] [Speaker 1] What happened to the curse our father had pronounced in anger? Yeah, what happened to the curse our father had pronounced in their anger? The Bible gave us an example of what happened. Jacob had died. There's no way he can come back to say "Oya, Reuben, I cursed you, live. I bless you, live." But we saw that God answered the prayer of Moses for Reuben. Because later we began to talk of the multitude of Reuben, for Reuben. So what I can say is that the Bible says that what the law of Moses could not justify us from, the blood of Jesus is able to justify us from them. The Bible says that the blood of Abel speaks judgment, but that of Jesus speaks mercy. So what do we do about those things? The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are saved. Let us run into the name of the Lord. If we are thinking that our parents have said some things in their anger in this about us and maybe affecting our life, let us come to the Lord. That God Almighty, I come to you. Let us stand in faith to begin to speak that every tree God has not planted shall be uprooted. Let us stand in faith in the opposite direction against it and then we trust the Lord that there will be a way forward. I believe I've been able to provide answer for that question. Thank you very very much. So we are closing now. My time says some minutes to 12, 8 minutes to 12. So brethren who are here this morning, we are grateful for your coming. Brethren who join us online, I believe you have been able to learn one or two things again this morning about the issue of the tongue. Brethren on Telegram and Mixlr, we want to appreciate you for constantly following us. And please, we normally appreciate feedback from you. If you are blessed, let us know. If there is a testimony you want to give from what you learned, how it was able to help your life, please let us know. It gives us encouragement, it gives us instruction as to what to do better and how to do better when we get feedback from you. So please let us always have your feedback. God bless us all. Till next month, second Saturday, when we will be meeting again for another marriage forum. I pray the Lord bless and keep you. Make his face to shine upon you and be good continually. And for our today we are asking that the Lord God will impact upon our marriage as men. The Lord will cause us to rule over our spirit in the name of Jesus Christ. The Lord will grant us rest in our marriages, rest in our wives, rest in our children. And for brethren who are yet to be married, we trust the Lord for you. You would have gotten rule over your spirit before you finally take your own city in the name of Jesus. And you will not scatter your city in the name of Jesus. May you encounter the truth of this message in your life personally in the name of Jesus. Thank you, eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's share the grace together. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forevermore. Amen. [Speaker 1] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development and mission aid. Our regular activities are: Discipleship class every Monday 5:00 p.m., Adolescent and Singles Club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 a.m., Marriage Forum second Saturday of every month at 10:00 a.m., family life seminars, regular school out-reaches and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge in Ere community opposite Gorger Filling Station along Ijesha Road, Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all. [Outro Music]