Third Party in Marriage 2

[Narrator] Churches and fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home for all. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] Praise ye the Lord. We thank our God again for another time of Marriage Forum, another time in His presence. We trust in Him that as we gather again unto Him, it will be a time of refreshing and enrichment in the name of Jesus Christ. We are trusting the Lord again that as we gather unto Him, our brethren who are online and our brethren who are here physically, we trust the Lord that the Lord will meet with all of us, particularly where we need Him most in the name of Jesus Christ. Let's take this song together, and then we have a word of prayer for us to start today. We are gathering together unto Thee. Oh, we are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord shall the gathering of His people be. We are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord, we are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord, we are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord, unto the Lord shall the gathering of His people be. We are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord, we are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord, we are gathering together unto Thee. Unto the Lord, unto the Lord shall the gathering of His people be. We are gathering together unto Thee. Our Father, unto You we are gathering this morning. Our Father, unto You we have come. As we gather this morning, Lord, we pray let Your Spirit work within us, among us, in the name of Jesus. Lord our God, as we connect together this morning, we who are here physically, our brethren who are on Mixlr, our brethren who are on Telegram, as we all connect together this morning, Lord, please work within us, work among us in the name of Jesus. Lord, meet us where we need You most. Let Your counsel prevail over our lives in the name of Jesus. Thank You again, Father, as we press on in this matter of third party in marriage. Lord, we pray more and more grant us understanding. Thank You, eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. We are considering the matter of third party in marriage, a matter that we began last month in the month of August. We started in the month of August, and we are trying to look at how we move on from where we stopped in the month of August. We were looking at the matter of third party. We have been able to look at what is meant by third party. Third party in marriage fundamentally refers to any other person or entity apart from the man and his wife. We said that would give us an endless list. We also mentioned that, as a result, third party could be either human or non-human. We mentioned that crucial to the issue of third party is to distinguish between marriage and the family. The marriage is just the man and his wife. The family is the man, his wife, and the children. So we mentioned that when we mean third party in marriage, following from that distinction of marriage and the family, that children, therefore, could be third parties in marriage. Then we were able to look at Ecclesiastes looking at the matter of two. Two are better than one. Honestly, three are not better. It is two that is better. We said it is very crucial also for couples to realize that in entering into marriage, you must deal with some fundamental things, or else two will not be better. It would have been better not to marry. You must address a lot of fundamental things that the Lord instituted marriage. In entering into marriage, you must be sure you are entering the Lord's way. There are principles for entry. If you don't follow those principles in entry, sometimes two may not be better. Marriage may become a big crisis. The second one is that even after we have followed the principle of entering into it where you have entered correctly, you must also be careful. Having entered into it again, there are principles again to follow. If you don't follow those principles again, you may be having crisis in marriage. So you'll be finding two not better. All of these are the things we have discussed in the month of August. For those of us who are joining us today and would like to know all that we discussed, if you're on Telegram, the recording is there. You can always get back to that of last month. If you are on Mixlr, you can always pick it up either on the website, which we normally announce at the end of the day, or you can migrate to our Telegram community. The recording is also on the Telegram page so that you can listen to that of the month of August. Then another thing is, please don't forget that once we start approaching 11:30, if you have any question, you can place it on Mixlr, you can place it on Telegram, you can also place the question on the WhatsApp group. Family Tent WhatsApp group. Any of these places you place the question, definitely the technical people will see it, and by 11:30, we begin to attend. I will ask if there are questions already placed there and then we will answer to them. So if you already have questions, please begin to send it so that as from 11:30 we can begin to collate questions if there are, and then we deal with such questions, particularly those of us that were with us in the month of August. In the month of August, in looking at the matter of third party, we were able to conclude the introduction, and then we stopped at the second section, the first item in the second section. In the second section, after the introduction, we move to the divine design. What is the design of God in marriage? And then we noticed that in looking at the matter of third party in marriage, how did God handle it? So the first item on the divine design is the human factor. For the human factor, we saw two important things. There are two important things to look at before we go to the non-human. And that was where we stopped. We stopped at the human factor. It says, "Let no man put asunder." Matthew 19:3-7. You also find the same reference if you go to Mark. You have the same thing too in Mark. In Mark 10:2-12, you will find the same issue about how to handle what the Lord said about the human factor. Where the Lord was talking about the issue of man, He says, "He who made them from the beginning made them male and female and said, 'For this reason, a man shall leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." So we noted very, very importantly that when it comes to the issue of man, nobody should put asunder. No human being, not even the couples that are together, not to talk of any other person, whoever the person is. Once marriage has been constituted the way the Lord wants it, once marriage has been constituted, we saw that the Lord is saying that no man should put asunder. And that was where we stopped in the month of August. So we want to move to looking at the matter of the divine design. We want to move to the second item under that. That is, see how the Lord positioned the matter of sexual intimacy between the man and his wife. Look at how the Lord positioned the matter of sexual intimacy. It will make you to appreciate this matter of let no man put asunder. Let no man put asunder. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. Let's look at that scripture. It says, "Now concerning the things of which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the due affection, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." Now we are looking at this scripture, and we are trying to learn a very, very important thing. We are looking at it trying to see how the Lord positioned the matter of the marriage act. Now when you look at these scriptures, we are looking at the matter of sexual intimacy between the husband and the wife. I can remember if you have been following us on our different episodes, you will know that there have been times when we were looking at "My Life, My Marriage," and we took time to look at this to very serious details. But I want to call your attention to something that we said then, looking at how God positioned the marriage act. And see it in terms of the way God is treating the matter of third parties in marriage. He says, "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." Now you notice that even when it comes to the matter of the marriage act, you will see that the Lord is saying that they should not deprive themselves, they should not deny themselves except with consent perhaps they want to fast and pray. Now when they want to fast and pray, the Lord says there should be consent before one person will say, "Okay, I want to fast and pray. I may not be available for sexual intimacy, for the act of sexual relationship." Now when you look at this, you will see very clearly that even to consecrate a time to be with the Lord, you will notice something very crucial. The Lord is saying, "Don't just consecrate a time to be with Me without the consent of your spouse." Don't just take a unilateral decision that "I feel like being with God and because I feel like being with God, I don't have time for sexual intimacy." That is not scriptural. Now what we are trying to bring out is that you will notice that even the Lord is not placing Himself between the husband and the wife. The Lord is saying, "If you want to consecrate yourself to Me, I want it to be in unity." I don't want it to be a unilateral thing that you just come to Me. Let it be with consent. So when you look at the divine design, you will notice that the Lord Himself has said, "Let no man put asunder." The Lord Himself is not putting asunder. And that is very, very significant for us to see. Let no man put asunder. You also see the Lord here too. He Himself is not putting asunder. And if God is not putting asunder, who is that human being that is putting asunder? Now we move on in the divine design. We want to look at things that have to do with non-human material things of this life. What did the Lord say about the material things of this life and the marriage union? Matthew 6:19-24. Matthew 6:19-24. Let's see what the Bible says there as we journey together again this morning. It says, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." For where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be also. Now in looking at this scripture, we are looking at things that have to do with material things of this life. And the Lord is making us to see something about the material things of this life. When you look at this scripture that we just read, you will realize that the matter is not necessarily about the material things of this life. The matter that the Lord is really addressing in this place is about where your heart will be. The reason why the Lord is saying, "Do not lay your treasure on earth where the moth consume, where all of that happen," is that anywhere your treasure is, that is where your heart will also be. Anywhere you put your treasure, that is the thing that will also control your heart. So we are looking at something very crucial. It is telling us that we must, as individuals, realize that the Lord understands the nature of our heart. The Lord understands our peculiarity. And what is this peculiarity? The peculiarity is that anywhere a man's treasure is, anywhere a man puts his treasure, that is where his heart will be. So what becomes very crucial for us about material things is that if there is something you treasure above your union, your heart will not be in your union. It will be in that thing. If you treasure your car above your union, you will discover that your car will come between you and your spouse. If you treasure anything, any material thing, any substance, anything, that is why you notice that when people treasure money above their spouse, their only interest in their spouse will be how to make money. Some will even use their spouse for money, for rituals, because they treasure money above their spouse. If you treasure your job above your spouse, you will discover your job will be the second spouse in the house. For the wife, the job will be the second husband. For the man, the job will be the second wife, competing with attention for your spouse. If you treasure your career, if you treasure advancement in life above your union, you will abandon your marriage for career advancement. So the Lord is saying that we should be careful. When it comes to the things of this life, we should know that they have serious control over our heart. Serious control. Not to know it, not to realize it is to be naive. Not to realize this is to be naive in your thinking. We have seen this repeat itself severally where the love for certain things will make people scatter their marriage. In the name of money, in the name of career, in the name of just name it. Material things of this life. We have seen places where women abandon their husband because of the love for money. We have seen where there was this incident that happened, it was on the social media some time ago, where it was even the child that loved money more than the mother and arranged to use the mother for rituals. Thank God the woman escaped. So you see whatever you put your, whatever you set your heart on some material things, you will notice that just the way it will draw your heart from heaven, it will also draw your heart from your marriage. Whatever can take your heart away from heaven will take your heart from your marriage. And that is the point I want you to see. What I mean to say is that sometimes the third party in your marriage can be money. It can be car. It can be career. It can be personal development. It can be riches. It can be wealth. It can be anything. It can even be your phone. It can be Facebook. It can be WhatsApp. Be careful about what you treasure when it comes to the material things of this life because sometimes the third party in your marriage can be coming from that angle. The third party in your marriage can be coming from that angle. Now another thing we need to see again is the fourth element under the divine design is the yoke of marriage. Under the yoke of marriage, I would like us to read 1 Corinthians 7:25-39 so that we can understand the yoke of marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:25-39. It says, "Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I will give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy have made trustworthy. I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress." So as at this time, there was the social characterization of society, the social event. We don't know exactly what was happening this period, whether tribulation, whether persecution, we don't know exactly. But it was a time of distress. Things were not peaceful. Things were not, for the Christian community, things were not at ease. And by the Spirit of God, the apostle was giving advice, counsel, by God's Spirit. And he said, "I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress; that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned." I hope you see what is clarifying. He's not saying that they should not marry. He's only saying that because things were not at ease, it might be good not to marry because of the situation. He says, "But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned." So please anybody who feels that he needs to marry, and must be careful, nobody is forcing you to marry. If you choose to marry, stay by the ordinances of marriage. He says, "If you have not sinned, nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I will spare you." That is, because of the so much distress, things that were happening at this time, entering into marriage again will not allow the freedom that come with singleness. So the apostle is thinking that it might be better so that you don't have uneasiness upon uneasiness. It might be good you don't marry. He says, "But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on, even those who have wives should be as though they have none." Now you can see what he's trying to say, that it looks like look, everything will soon end. Even in marriage, let us be careful not to allow marriage to make us to sin. Let us be careful not to allow marriage to make us to miss heaven. We should be careful, and that's what he's saying here. That even those who have wife should act as though they have none. They should be careful so that the cares of this life, the cares of this life, does not overcharge your heart like the parable of the sower where the thorns did not allow the plant to grow well. And those thorns are the cares of life. Marriage is a care. So we should be careful how we are even handling marriage because the time is short. Now in verse 30, he says, "Those who weep as though they do not weep." Those who are having different challenges, they should be careful so that in sorrowing, in weeping, we don't misbehave. You don't deny the faith. You don't deny the Lord. Because the end was at hand. That was the advice we are seeing within this context of this reading by Apostle Paul. Because you will notice that much, much later, towards the end of his days when he was in prison, he wrote again. He saw afar and he gave another advice again. But as at this time, this was the advice he was giving. Now he says, "Those who rejoice as though they do not rejoice." Be careful with party. Be careful with rejoicing. Those that things are going well for, be careful. "Those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it, for the form of this world is passing away." So he was saying all of this within this context. So he also situate marriage as a care within this context that we need to be careful about. Now verse 32, he says, "But I would want you without care." There is a care that this thing have. "I would want you without care." So he now came back to the matter of marriage that he was addressing. "He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord." You see the cares of this life. If you are not married, you will not need, for example, if you want to consecrate to God, you want to consecrate and fast, you will not need to seek the consent of your spouse. You just make up your mind unilaterally and you start your prayer life. But if you are married, there is a care that the Lord have put, that "No, don't come to Me without the consent of the other person. Don't deny the person your duty, your responsibility in the name of one 'I want to face God'." No, in that case, marriage does not allow that. If you must do it like that, you must get the other person's consent. You can't say in the name of consecration to God, you become irresponsible to your marriage vow. No, God will not allow that. Your 'ye' must be 'ye', your 'nay' must be 'nay'. Now he says, "So the person who is married, the person he who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of this world, how he may please his wife." Again, for the virgin, for the feminine gender, there is a difference between a wife and a virgin. And I want you to appreciate this statement here. One of these days, we will speak more about this matter when we want to speak to our singles much more the more. Look at it as far as the scripture is concerned, the mind of God. Either a wife or a virgin. If you are not a wife, then you are a virgin. It's an unfortunate thing what is happening in society today. If you are not a wife, then you are a virgin. To be the virgin is to be unmarried. But it's an unfortunate today. That's not our focus. It just occurred to me to just comment on that. There's a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in spirit, both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of this world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. And what is it? But if anyone thinks he is behaving improperly towards his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth and thus it must be, let him do as he wishes. He did not sin. Let him marry. Nevertheless, he who stands steadfast in his own heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will and has determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. Now he was speaking within a circumstance, within a situation, and that's why I have to situate it for you. But what I want you to see actually in making you to see this scripture is that, please, marriage is a yoke. Marriage is a yoke. Anybody who is married should never attempt to live like somebody who is not married. It is rebellion. It is wickedness. As far as God is concerned, any woman that is married and is only thinking of "In my own life, it's how to present my body only in this and to please the Lord." If that is the only yoke she is carrying, let me announce to you, she does not understand the Lord that she is serving. To properly carry the yoke of the Lord, you must carry the yoke of your husband. If you don't carry the yoke of your husband, you are a rebel against heaven. You are disregarding the Lord. So you are saying that "I am carrying the yoke of the Lord, but not carrying the yoke of my husband." You are just a contradiction of the truth. Anybody who fears the Lord will respect the husband as a woman. The same way for the man. A man cannot say, "Because I have a ministry, the Lord is calling me, giving me a higher call, the Lord is telling me to go on mission, the Lord is doing that, I must concentrate on the Lord," and you become irresponsible to your wife. You don't know the Lord. You don't know Him. Marriage is a yoke. Anybody that does not want to live with care when it comes to marital things should rather not marry. But if you marry, the wife must take up the yoke of her husband. How to please him, how to do this, how to study him, how to do that. The husband must take up the yoke of how to please his wife. That is what the Lord have ordained. Marriage is a yoke. I'm going to make you see the matter of third party. That as far as the Lord is concerned, once you enter into marriage, you must understand that there is a yoke on your neck. You are no more free. You have to face that marriage. If you don't face it, you are a wicked person. It's a yoke. So are you there? You are doing certain things against your marriage. Are you there? For whatever reason, you are not doing everything to please the person you married. You are not doing everything that marriage will work, how things will go on well. You are not setting everything aside, how I will please my husband, how I will please my wife. If you are not living that way, you are not following the divine design. Marriage is a yoke. Every other person apart from the man and his wife, they are third parties. No matter how you describe them, they are third parties. Now the next one we have there is the test, the test of spirituality for the married. The divine design. When you are married, how do we know that you are spiritual? How do you know you're a spiritual person? Let us see what the Bible says in this place. We'll be going to 1 Timothy now, chapter 3, we'll read 1 to 7, and then we go to chapter 5. We read from verse 3 to verse 16, even though our focus is between verse 9 and verse 10. But so that we can understand the context of what the apostle is saying in that place, I will read 3 to 16. Because sometimes people normally take the teachings of the Bible out of context, and so it will not make meaning within that context. But they begin to make meaning out of it that is not related to the context from which they are taking it, and then it becomes unscriptural. Now we're looking at 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and then 1 Timothy 5:3-16. 1 Timothy 3:1-7. I'm reading from the New King James Bible. It says, "This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those outside," that is, among unbelievers. This is very, very crucial in choosing leaders. He must have a good testimony among the outside, neighbors, colleagues, whether they are Christians or not Christians. Anybody who cannot live as a Christian among those people should not be seen to come and lead the people of God. It's very, very important. Sometimes we don't consider all these things. We just look at people's commitment inside church and we make them leaders. These are very, very important things too if you are thinking of good spiritual leadership. Now, "Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil." You will notice that the same way you will have for deacons. "Likewise, deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money." You will notice he's talking about fruit, fruit. After he has mentioned all those things, he mentioned the same thing, holding forth the mystery of the faith with pure conscience. A conscience without offense. Having nothing hidden, no hidden agenda, no skeletons in their cupboard, no secret sin. These are the things you need to look for. That is why sometimes when you see certain leadership that mean certain things, sometimes I wonder, how did we make them leaders? What are the things we consider in saying that they are spiritual? The brother prophesied and then the thing came to pass, says he must be a very spiritual brother. So he must go and head a church. He went on evangelism, somebody just came, "Receive your sight," and the person sees. And they say, "Yeah, in fact, let him go and head another parish. Let him go and be the leader here." You see, we'll be having more and more problem in church leadership if we don't look at the ordinances of God. The more we set aside God in our decision making, a scripture is just coming to my heart. It should be Isaiah 48. I'll just like to read that scripture before I move to look at that of the sisters, that of the wives. Sisters and wives, yes, our sister, our wife. Before we go and look at those ones, a scripture came to my heart, I think it's in Isaiah 48, something about the commandments of God. Isaiah 48:17 and 18. This scripture just came to my mind as we are talking about the ordinances of God. Look at what the scripture says. It says, "Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you by the way you should go.' Oh, that you had heeded my commands!" You notice the first thing? "I am your Redeemer. I am the Holy One. I am the Lord your God." You see when God is talking like this, he's trying to underscore a point. You need to know who is speaking to you, to know how you should respond. When your colleagues, when they are talking together, there's a way you respond. When your lecturer is speaking, there's another way you respond. When your pastor or your parents are speaking, another way you respond. When you are in prayer, you should be able to know who you are dealing with. He says, "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit." May this truth dawn on us as the people of God. If we must really profit in anything, it is God who teaches us to profit. If we must profit maritally, if we must profit in the way we set up leadership in our churches, if we must profit in the way we look at people as being spiritual, if we will not have problem, if we will not make loss in making somebody a leader, if we will not mortgage a lot of things, when you will find a man you have made your youth coordinator squandering the sisters under him, or the one you make to be in charge of money, half the offering is in his own personal account. If you will not suffer casualty, you must understand that there is somebody who teaches us to profit. If we will not have a pastor that will be sleeping with the wives of church members, if we will not have a pastor that will divert church property to his own personal property, if we will not have this kind of problem, there are things to check. Yet in all of this, too, we need the mercies of God. Because the Bible says, "Except the Lord watches over the house, the watchman lieth awake in vain." But let us do what we ought to do and then trust the Lord to help us. When we don't do what we ought to do, in the first place, we have set ourselves against God. Then how do we get the help of God? He says, "I am the one who teaches you to profit." I pray for you wherever you are listening to me. May it dawn on you that it is God, it is only God that can teach you to profit. May this truth become a realization in your spirit in the name of Jesus. Whatsoever is in you that is exalting itself against the knowledge of God, against the truth of God, this day I cast them down in the name of Jesus. Any stronghold of the devil over your life, today I cast them down in your marriage, in your life, this day, in the name of Jesus. I command, may you see clearly, may you hear clearly, may you understand clearly and walk in the truth. And as you walk in the truth, may you experience liberty. Liberty in your life, liberty in your marriage, liberty in your home, liberty in your children, liberty in your business, liberty in your career, liberty in your academics. Liberty! Liberty in the name of Jesus! It is God who teaches us to profit. He is the one. Don't let anybody deceive you. This Book of the Law should not depart out of your mouth. Meditate on it day and night, so you can observe to do according to what is there. Then you will make your way prosperous. It is God that teaches you to profit. He says, "Who leads you by the way you should go." Not by the way you will go. I want you to note the word 'should'. The way you should go. I want to read that in NIV. It says, "Who teaches you what is best for you." Hallelujah! He's the one who teaches you what is best for you. So when you want to know whether somebody is spiritual, these are the things you need to look at. And if you want to talk about putting leaders, putting them here and there, let us know that it is God that is teaching us what is best, the best way to do it. Let us forget custom, ethnicity, tradition, church policy, this, that. "He's very, very committed. He's the one that give the biggest offering." Are these the things you find in this place? May the Lord help us in the name of Jesus. Who teaches you what is best, who directs you in the way you should go. That's what I'm emphasizing. There is a way you should go. May you not go the way you should not go in the name of Jesus. You will not go the way you should not go. There is a way you should go. May it not become a casualty over time. May you not succeed and succeed to eventually fail. There is a way you should go. There is a way you should go. And look at what He said in the verse 18. "Oh, that you had heeded my commands!" You see what God is saying? "Oh, that you have heeded my commands!" Oh, that you have heeded my commands! Oh, that you have heeded my commands! He said, "Oh, that you had," you see, in the past tense, "that you had heeded my command" in picking a wife, that you had, in living with your wife, that you had, in living with your husband, that you had, in running your marriage, that you had, in running your business, your career, in running everything around your life, your academics, in running all of those things, "Oh, that you had heeded my command." Look at the consequence. "Then your peace would have been like a river." May our marriages experience peace. May you begin to get it right. May you begin to get it right in our marriages. May you begin to obey God in our marriages. Every troubled marriage, I pray that may be listening to me, I pray every troubled home, every troubled life, every troubled person, may you begin to come the way of God, may you begin to experience the peace of God. May the peace of God begin to become our portion as we yield to the counsel of God, as we yield to the word of God in the name of Jesus. May our peace become like a river. Look at what God said. It's for every area of our life. Once you miss your way, there cannot be peace. And you know, when you withdraw peace from a life, what is left? Give a man money, but don't give him peace. Give a man marriage, but don't give him peace. Give him certificate, but don't give him peace. What have you given him? Oh, your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea. Are you seeing that? The way of God is the way of righteousness. Your righteousness would have been like the waves. Your righteousness will be powerful. You know what the waves of the sea? Very powerful, that will scatter, that will push, that will make way. Hallelujah! Righteousness exalts a nation. Your righteousness would have carried you. It would have exalted you, would have promoted you, would have placed you in the place of honor, would have carried you into, would have brought you into glory, would have brought you to places. Righteousness would have exalted you. It will be like a wave. Oh, Lord, help our generation in the name of Jesus. Lord, help our generation. Help us to see correctly. Help us to understand correctly. Help us to live the way You want us to live. Our best is in God. Our best is not outside You, Lord. Help us to know that the best we can become is only inside You in the name of Jesus. Your peace would have been like that and look at the next thing. Your descendants would have been like the sand, and your offspring, the offspring of your body, like the grains of sand. His name would not have been cut off nor destroyed before Me. Do you see that? Do you see that when we walk right, it has impact on our generation? When we do the right thing, our generation will find mercy with God. They will not become Yahoo children. They will not become criminals. They will not become problem to society. They will not become, you see, look, they will not have been cut off. They will not have been cut down by the devil. They will not have become a victim of demonic manipulation. They will not have become so many things. So many things that are happening today to our generation, to our children, to our young men, to our young women, to our daughters, to our sons. Maybe we would not have been experiencing them. These deaths, these destruction by kidnapping, destruction by famine, destruction by banditry, destruction by killer herdsmen. Maybe we would not have been experiencing these things. Do you know how many lives have been wasted in this nation? May the Lord help us as the people of God. May the church act right. May we too believers, may we live right in the name of Jesus Christ. Please, it's already after 11:30. I'm supposed to be treating questions. If you have questions, please bring them. Let them come in now. Send them either on Telegram, send them on Mixlr. If you're on the WhatsApp group, please send them. Technicals, please be on your alert. If there are questions, let us have them so that we can be responding to questions as we are moving on. If there's any question that is coming through from the floor, let us have them and then we can attend to such question. If not, I will be speaking. I want to go to that of the wife, of the sister. How do we describe a wife as spiritual? We have seen that of a man. We have seen what makes a man to be spiritual. Let's see what makes the wife to be spiritual. How does God look at spirituality from the point of the wife? With that, we go to 1 Timothy chapter 5 now. 1 Timothy chapter 5. I said we'll be focusing on verse 9 and 10, but so that we can understand the reference in which the Lord is speaking to us there again, we will read from verse 3 to verse 16. Because sometimes people normally take the teachings of the Bible out of context, and so it will not make meaning within that context. But they begin to make meaning out of it that is not related to the context from which they are taking it, and then it becomes unscriptural. Now we're looking at 1 Timothy chapter 5, verse 3 to 16, though our focus is 9 to 10. So let's go to 1 Timothy chapter 5, verse 3 to 16. Let's see what the scripture says there. Speaking now about the wife. About the wife. 1 Timothy 5:3-16. "Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God." So you notice that, actually, this scripture is talking about widows. Widows should be honored. How do you honor widows? That is, they should be given provision. They should see how they can supply the needs, help widows out. In Israel, the loss of husband in Israel is almost the loss of economic might. It's the loss of welfare. It's not like the way we have it today. As at this economy, women are most times full-time housewife. So once the husband dies, then she begin to suffer lack in several ways. So he's saying that honor widows who are really widows. So he want to differentiate that to make us understand it. Now, but if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to provide for them. So a widow who has children and grandchildren is not really a widow. He says let those children provide for their parents. That is the commandment of God. So a widow who has children and those children they are not providing for their parents, whatever thing they think that they are doing is unacceptable to God. It's not acceptable. God forbid that our wives, mothers, should lost, should be bereaved of their husband. But if such thing happen, you notice what the Bible says. Those that have children, children who, by children here you know what we mean. Not children who cannot cater. We are not talking about dependent children. We are talking about children who are mature, who have grown up, who are grown up, who can themselves working, who have economic might and power. Children who are doing one thing. We are not talking of children that are still dependent. We are not talking of a boy of 17, 18, 19. We are talking of somebody who, and if that is it as long as we're talking of children who have the capacity to make provision, to provide. He says the first thing they should do is to do it for their parents. These are important things to teach. For this is good and acceptable before God. Now, she who is really a widow, that is, a real widow now will be what? A woman without husband, a woman who does not have children grown up, standing enough to be able to make provision for her. A situation where the children they are still dependent, they are still looking for their parents for support. If that woman, if you have a widow that way, then she is really a widow. She says a widow who is really a widow and left alone, no support from anywhere, who's really a widow, trust in the Lord and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. So ordinarily, they are saying that the person should live correctly. Not in prodigal, not in rioting, not in wasting, but living soberly, living godly. A prayerful life. Committing herself to prayer, committing herself to the Lord because now she is like a virgin. She can now commit to the Lord without distraction. That's the point. Committed to the Lord. He says but the one who live in pleasure is dead. And these things command and teach that they may be blameless. "But if anyone does not provide for his own, especially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." So if there are now people, if there's now anybody who makes a widow to really be a widow, who is not making provision, who is not doing that, who is not providing for the home is something very, very important. I'm trying to make you see the yoke of marriage. Meeting the needs, spouse making the needs of the wife, wife meeting the need of the husband. These are very, very important things. Now he now continue further still talking about widow. "Do not take a widow under sixty years old. She should not be taken into the number." So which number now? Where we started from. Those that are really widow that the church should be providing for, that the church should take up their responsibility. If you want to take up anybody, make sure that at least the person is sixty years old. There's really nothing particular about the matter of this age. But the point here is that people who are still young who can work, who can still pick up job again, who can still do all of that, they may not be really widows. They could be given support to pick up job again if they are not working, to do something to be able to cater for themselves and not be begging here and there. That is the point we are looking at here. Now but somebody who is already above sixty, retirement age is even sixty from many jobs. So we are looking at people who have retired from active service. That what you're looking at in this point. People who are aging have set in. Older adults. People who are like that. So should be taken into the list. And he now went ahead to mention the next thing. The person should not be less than sixty, and unless she has been the wife of one man. Look at where we are coming from again. For the man, husband, he has been faithful to one, husband of one wife. When he came to the woman again, she should not be less than sixty, and moreover unless he must have been a wife of one husband. You can see how God hates divorce. You can see how God is measuring spirituality. For you to know that somebody should be given provision, take into the list that you will sponsor with God's money, God said, "Look, be careful. For you to begin to give her what belongs to Me, I want to be sure that she has been faithful to one husband. She has followed My ordinances." Are you seeing something? That is the first thing that came again. I'm showing you how God count spirituality. God did not say she must have been a lady evangelist. She must have been a mighty preacher. No. You see where we are starting from again? She must have been the wife of one husband. Some other translation said, "has been faithful to her husband." That's what that is saying. That is true to her husband, faithful to the man. Not somebody who disregard husband. No, if she has been like that, God said, "Look, don't use, don't put her, don't give her what belongs to Me." Brethren, let us see how God rate things so that our judgment can be sound. Our reasoning can be proper. Many things we are experiencing today in marriage is because we are missing what it means to be spiritual. We are losing the emphasis on what it means to be spiritual. So that when a sister is very charismatic and she can sing very beautifully, she speak tongue in church, she does this, "Wow! Spirituality sister." That's not how you measure for a married woman. To measure for a married woman, you go and check whether before she got to that sixty, she must have been doing something. Because to be faithful, talking of before she got to that sixty years. When she got married, go and check how she have been behaving to her husband to know whether she is spiritual. So if a sister truly knows God, if a sister truly encounters God, the way you will know in marriage is the way she reference her husband. The way she does everything to obey her husband, to submit to her husband, to submit to the yoke, she takes the yoke of her husband. That is how you know that this sister truly knows God. Or else she is a wicked person. How many times when people are marrying today, people just look at one brother, one person, "Ah, he has been past president. He must be spiritual." "Ah, she has been the former sister coordinator. She must be spiritual." "Ah, you see she's very committed to the church. She must be spiritual." And we look away from the things that God want us to look at. And so many times we run into several crisis. She's beautiful. She's from my state. She read a good course. She'll be able to support my own career. Different stupid things today we set that we now run into several crisis. If somebody is truly spiritual as a woman, the way you will know is go and check her faithfulness to her husband. And you see how it goes on again. The next thing you will notice is well reported for good works. Look at it. Well reported for good works. Look at how the arrangement went again. If she has brought up children. That is how much did she a keeper at home. That home that she entered into. That's why I said there's a great difference between a virgin and a wife. If you don't want to take this yoke, nobody is forcing anybody to marry. You can live as a single lady. You can live as a single brother. And have all your expression as single and serve the Lord honestly. And you would have done well even by this time that we are in, economic crisis, this and that. You can say there is this distress, I don't want to marry. I want to stay with the Lord. I want to consecrate myself to God. I want to be steadfast in my heart so I can do well and serve God better. Then you can go that way. But if you choose to marry, please know that there is a care. There is a yoke. Because as far as God is concerned, spirituality begins from the home. What you don't realize is that whatever scatters the home scatters the society. What do you call church? Is it not families? What do you call politicians? Are they not families? What do you call teachers? Are they not from families? What do you call pupils? What do you call lecturers? What do you call doctors? What do you call patients? Everybody emanates from a family. So once the family, the crisis we are facing in Nigeria is family crisis. Every other thing you see in the church, in the politics, politicians are useless, civil servant, public servant they are corrupt, this, that. All those things you are seeing, the church is this, the lecturers are like this, doctors are wicked, this or that. All those things you are talking about is you are all talking about diverse dimension of family crisis. That is why God is concerned about the home. Once the home get it right, society will be right. So you see how God measure spirituality for the sister. Well reported for good works, reported children. Before she now begin to mention if she has lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet. Have you seen how it came again? Some people are prodigal at home but they are committed to one church thing or the other. You don't know what it means to be spiritual. God measure it from the home. If you are a vagabond at home, you can't be a spiritual person in the church. That is the reality of it. I wish our churches too will get it right. Our fellowships get it right. And let's focus on and push the truth so that our members can go home and rework their homes. If she has diligently followed every good works. And in this place, he say but for younger widows refuse if they begin to grow wanton against Christ, they desire to marry. You can see that at this point again, Paul is encouraging that people who are young should please get married. Don't let them, don't take them into the list. Young widows, let them go and remarry so that there will not be problem. Look at this at another time. At another time as at this time, it was close to the end of Paul's ministry, close to the end of his sojourn on earth, and he was able to see that there is a later time. He was able to see again afar. Different from what we are looking at in 1 Corinthians 7. We close the meeting here today. We have been able to look at, we have been able to complete the second section of this discussion, which is the divine design. We have touched everything that is there. For human, let no man put asunder. God Himself is not putting asunder. Be careful don't treasure anything above your marriage. Remember that marriage is a yoke. Be careful there is a way God tests spirituality. When we meet next month, the month of October by the mercies of God, we should be able to conclude this third party in marriage. We look at the critical trial. There is a trial, the critical three. We look at them. We want to narrow down to critical issues about the third factor. If the Lord grant you grace, if the Lord enables you, if time and situation permit, please we want you to join us next month. Join us next month, same time, second Saturday of the month, 10:00 AM. Please join us. Let's come together again to conclude this topic together before we move again to some other things again to look at. The critical trial, we need to look at that, and then come to the concluding aspect of this matter, third party in marriage. Today we have been able to consider the divine design. May we look at this design always remembering it is God who teaches us to profit, who leads us in the way that we should go, in the way that is best for us. Let's go ahead to pray this morning. Wherever you are, please take time to pray for your life, pray for your marriage, pray for your home. If you are not yet married, pray for your life. Look at how we are looking at all of these things. Pray, pray, pray. Talk to the Lord. Our Father, we thank You again for this morning. We give You praise and glory for this time in Your presence. We thank You for what You have been able to help us say. We have been able to conclude the matter of the divine design. We are left with the critical trial. Lord our God Almighty, we pray these that You have again today prayed. Lord, beyond my voice, let Your people hear Your voice in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, help us, oh Lord, where we need to make adjustment so that our peace, oh God, can be like the river, our righteousness like the waves of the sea, and our offspring not being cut off. Oh, Lord, bring us into this in the name of Jesus. Thank You, eternal Father. Blessed be Your holy name, our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Let's share the grace together wherever you are on Telegram, on Mixlr, on WhatsApp. Let's share it together. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us now and forevermore. Amen. Surely goodness and mercies shall follow us all the days of our lives and we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever. Amen. See you next month by God's grace and mercy, second Saturday, 10:00 AM. The Lord bless you in Jesus' name. [Narrator] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission aid. Our regular activities are discipleship class every Monday, 5:00 PM; Adolescent and Singles Club, every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; Marriage Forum, second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outreaches and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location Life Camp by the first bridge, Ileri community, opposite Very Joy filling station along Ijare road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 0803-386-1136, 0703-361-3848. God bless you all.