Trust Issue in Marriage 1

[Music] [Speaker 1] Trust in fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 2] Another time in Your presence. Thank You for the privilege of sleeping and waking up. Thank You for the privilege of moving around. Privilege of coming again to Your presence. Bible says in Your presence there is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. Father, we are grateful. We thank You, Lord, in Jesus' name. Lord, we are here again. We are here to meet. Bible says You will not call the house of Jacob to seek You in vain. Thank You, Father, for gathering us to seek You. And Lord, we know according to Your word, our seeking You, our coming to Your presence this morning shall not be in vain in Jesus' name. You shall meet with every life, every home. You will encounter us afresh. You will tackle our problems. You will give us healing, You give solution, You give insight, revelation, knowledge. Bible says my people perish for lack of knowledge. We shall not be of them that perish for lack of knowledge in Jesus' name. But we shall be of them, oh Lord, that receive knowledge, insight, wisdom for our everyday living, particularly as relates to our marriages in the name of Jesus. Holy Spirit, we hand over this morning to You again. Come and do only what God can do. Bless us, use us for Your glory in the name of Jesus. Thank You, Eternal Father. In Jesus' name we pray. I want us to sing this song to worship the Lord. [Speaker 2 sings] What shall I give unto the Lord? All I have to say is thank you Lord. What shall I give unto the Lord? All I have to say is thank you Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. All I have to say is thank you Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord. All I have to say is thank you Lord. Thank you so much, Lord Jesus. Thank you so much, Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, so much, Lord Jesus. We thank You, we thank You, we thank You. Adupe Baba, adupe Baba, Oluwa mi modupe. Ese Baba, Oluwa mi modupe. Modupe, modupe, modupe. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. [Speaker 2] We thank God again for the privilege to be in His presence. We thank the Lord for gathering us again this month's edition of Marriage Forum. We thank God for life. We are here again in His presence by the grace of God. We appreciate God for everyone present here physically and for our brethren that are online. It is my prayer that we will return back with sheaves, with rejoicing in the name of Jesus. It is our prayer that this morning again, the Lord will visit our lives, our homes, and we will encounter His miraculous, we encounter His blessings in the name of Jesus. By the grace of God, we want to begin another series. And today's series starts with the topic "Trust Issue in Marriage." Trust issues in marriage. And in this episode, or series so to say, we are going to look at trusting in the Lord for your spouse, then living worthy of trust. That is what we want to see today under this series. Trusting the Lord for your spouse and living worthy of trust. What is trust? Let's begin from there. What is trust? Trust is when you have confidence in something, in someone. It has to do with confidence in somebody, in something. And because of that confidence, it brings about reliance. Because you don't rely on whom you don't trust or what you don't trust. So confidence in something that brings reliance on that person. In marriage, we know trust is an important ingredient in a successful marriage. In fact, it is an important ingredient in a successful relationship. Starting from anywhere. Every human being comes from a home, starting from husband, wife, then trust between parents and children, trust among children. So when those children or parents are also in their different worlds, social classes, offices, churches, in their relationship with other people, we are also talking of trust. So trust is very essential in the relationship of man. And that is what is an important thing for us to note. It is that important in every of our relationship. How much more important you can imagine, how much more trust is important in marriage. The confidence you have in each other, to the point of relying one another, entrusting your life, everything into the life of your spouse. Trust is very, very important. And that is the reason why by the grace of God, God wants to help us to learn new things and also not to take it for granted. Trustworthiness is a highly esteemed commodity. Just as I said, it is an important ingredient in relationship. When it comes to marriages, or in any relationship, it is a highly esteemed commodity. When it comes to trust, when one has it, one is considered valuable. Is it an individual? Is it a spouse? Is it a group of people? When you have it, you are considered valuable. So trust is a value to your life. So even in marriage, trust is a great value in that marriage. So if it's missing in any marriage, you can see what a great loss. Trust is a great value because it's a highly esteemed commodity that when you lose it, you have lost something worthwhile. When one has it, one is considered valuable. When one has lost it, one may be considered worthless. May we not be worthless in Jesus' name. And that is the reason why in our marriage, the need for trust cannot be overemphasized. Mutual and affectionate relationship in marriage becomes difficult when there is trust issue. When there is trust issue, mutual, I mean, cordial, common, when you feel together, affectionate relationship where you'll be able to be endeared to your spouse or your endearment is exposed to your spouse, will become difficult. And that is the reason why we want to see how can we handle the issue of trust in our marriages. Because it is very, very important. Without it, our lives, our marriage will be worthless. Without trust, there can't be mutual and affectionate relationship. Without trust, there can't be confidence and reliance on you as a spouse or even on your marriage. Your children may not be able to even rely on you because you couldn't see anything to rely on. They cannot, you wouldn't be a good example to them. So that is the reason why trust issue is very, very important. Now, the first thing we want to look into: trusting in the Lord for your spouse. When we are talking about trust, what is the first thing to talk about? The first thing is trusting in the Lord for your spouse. You begin to think it's between me and my spouse. Why are you bringing God here? The truth is that there is nothing from anyone. No one has any ability. There is nothing about us that is of us. And we can do nothing except the Lord that strengthens us. So let us quickly look into the book of Jeremiah 17:5-7. [Speaker 3] Jeremiah 17:5. Thus says the Lord, "Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord." [Speaker 2] Thank you, my sister. We can see that. It's very, very important. Bible says woe is the man who trusts in man. Cursed is the man or woman who trusts in man. And the Lord tried to make us see the kind of curse. May that not be our portion. Because that curse is enormous. It's very, very enormous. See what will happen to a man who puts his trust in man. He said they are like stunted shrubs in the desert with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness on the salty flats where no one lives. Wow. That is terrible. The description of a life like this is a worthless life. Life that is cursed that cannot be useful to himself or to the world. Life's pointless. But look at the man. It says, "But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence." Praise the Lord. With this text, we are not exonerating spouses to be trustworthy. We are not saying because of that, just trust in the Lord so I can do my, live my life anyhow. No. But we are making us to see that trusting the Lord for your spouse is one of the first things you need when it comes to trust issue in marriage. Trusting in the Lord for your spouse. Trust the Lord who gave you your spouse to keep him or her. That is the first thing. When you are trusting in the Lord, your marriage, you were led into it. Maybe you're there, you didn't even seek God before you got married. You just went your way and chose somebody. But I know there's a point, there will be a point where you will ask God and pray. God, this person, there's a level of trust that makes you to commit such a person into God's hand, which is very, very important. Though it is very wrong for you to have taken decision, that crucial decision of your life without consulting God, we are not encouraging that. Everything about our life, Bible says, acknowledge Him in all your ways. And that is one sign that you trust in the Lord. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him. So the first place is that you are trusting the Lord for your spouse. Is it only at the point of selection that your trust ends? If your trust in the Lord ends at that point and you begin to look up to the person, trusting the person, infallible being, you are going to be disappointed. Your trust must continue in the Lord that has given you that person. Your trust must continue in what has made you to take that person to the altar and you have contracted the marriage and you are living together. If God is your Lord, is the basis of that marriage, you must not shift your focus from that Lord to that spouse. No matter how good, no matter how wonderful, upright, spiritually fast, I mean, firebrand, tongue-talker, holy, gracious, that your spouse is an angel, glory be to God. That is not enough for you to transfer your trust in God to the person. By the time you transfer your trust in the Lord to the person, that is the beginning of failure. Because God will not share His glory with any man. So the first thing when it comes to trust issue in our home is that: trust the Lord for your spouse. That your spouse you see up and doing, receiving grace, he will receive from heaven. Before anything happens, he knows he's second in command to God. God carries him along in everything he does. Please, my dear brother and sister, don't relax and say, yeah, I know who I have in my house. I know what kind of husband I have. There is nothing to fear about that. And you now begin to do what? Transfer your trust. No. What you keep doing even when the person is standing is to keep holding, Lord, this is Your work, this is You. Bible says let him that thinks he stands take heed lest he falls. What is the taking heed here? Keep holding on to the Lord. Because the person you see standing is not him or her. If the person is standing, glory to God. And that is why we have to keep trusting the Lord for the person. Let's look at the situation where the person is opposite. When I asked God and saw great things, God gave me wonderful promises. You went back to your notes and checked what the Lord has said. This is a far drop, my God. What I've been seeing the last three years is sinking sand. Where have I missed it? Are you shifting your trust to what you are seeing? Bible says we should not be moved by what we see, but by the word of God. We must keep trusting the Lord for that person even in the person's mess. Even in the person's mess, even in the person's instability, in the person's disappointment, let's say, trust the Lord. And what is the sign for trusting the Lord? Bible says he will keep in perfect peace the man who trusts in him because his heart stays on him. Trusting the Lord for your spouse, even in that mess or in that strength, the first thing that shows is that you keep holding on, looking up unto God. You keep believing God, God, believing God. And you know faith when you believe God, faith moves off. Faith propels us to do the right thing. Faith will move you in place of prayer. Faith will move you to speak the right. Faith will move you not to be moved by the physical, by what you see, but by the word of God. Faith will take away anxiety. Faith will cause you to see good out of that bad. And that is what it means to trust the Lord. You must first trust in the Lord for your spouse. It's first in the Lord. Before you can see anything out of that life, it must be first in the Lord. And in that, you must deliberately choose not to live in fear. You must, it's a deliberate choice. You know it is deliberately chosen. You choose not to live in fear. Because the situation may be honestly fearful. The situation may be confusing. The situation may be in your own home, could be depressive. But you must make up your mind. Why are you deliberately choosing the contrary? I mean, not choosing fear but faith. It's because of what? Of trust in the Lord. Bible says everything that were made, they were made from things that do not appear. If you have to be waiting for something to happen before you trust, you won't see it happen. It's the principle of God. It said faith comes, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Do you give evidence until you see? Even if you go to court, I want to give evidence and say see, I perceived in the spirit, they will say please get away from here. It must be something you see before you give evidence. But when it comes to the realm of the spirit, you must first, it's a substance in you of what you hope for, and you give evidence of this in your profession, in your confession, in your behavior, then you see it happen. The way of the spirit is different from the way of the world. The way of God's kingdom is different from the way of the world. So you must trust in the Lord for your spouse. One of the ways to trust in the Lord for your spouse is that: admit that your spouse, they are still work in progress. You and your spouse, you are what? You are still work in progress. And so with every wife and husband in God's universe, in this whole world, we are all work in progress. But daily, you must seek Christ and believe in His truth about your thought, what He has said. Trusting in His word and not your own emotions. When we are moved by our feelings and emotion, we cannot be moved by the word of God. We will not be moved by the spirit of God. And without us being moved by the word of God, it will be impossible for us to trust in the Lord. The Lord will help us in Jesus' name. And again another thing about trusting in the Lord is that you avoid anxiety. Choose rather to cast your cares on the Lord. That is one sign. In that situation of yours, what are you doing? How this is not what I expected, this is a challenge, this is a problem. One of the signs to show you trust in the Lord is that: cast that care on the Lord, for He cares. 1 Peter 5:7 says that. He said cast your cares on the Lord, for He cares for you. He will never let the righteous fall. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 also says this: unceasing in prayer, praying perseveringly. You see that? When you are unceasing in prayer, when you are ceaseless in prayer, when you are praying perseveringly, that's Amplified version. When you are praying perseveringly, that's another sign to show you trust in the Lord. Does that mean that thing has not been answered? You may not have seen the result, but you keep on praying. Jesus taught us about consistency in prayer through the woman that said the woman that requested of the king. It said with much pestering she got what she wanted. And our Heavenly Father is not a wicked God. But you have to persevere, cast your cares unto the Lord. When it comes to issues of trust in your home, when it comes to that thing that that is heart-aching in your relationship, what do you do about it? Do you go about talking? Do you go about being anxious? Do you turn it to quarrel? Choose the path God has given to us, and that is the path of prayer. Cast it on the Lord for He cares. Take it to the Lord. That is a sign that you trust in Him. If you don't have an alternative, if you don't pray always on all things that pertain to you, you have an alternative. If you know you don't have alternative, you will always stand with the Lord. You will take your matters to Him until that is settled. Even when you have cases in this world that you have to settle and you know somebody is the person you have been working on it, do you just give up? You keep working. It's the same in the place of the spirit. Keep taking it to God. Be ceaseless in prayer. Persevere in prayer. The Lord will help us in Jesus' name. And again in Luke 18:1, Jesus taught them a parable to this end: that men ought always to pray and not to faint. And He told them that parable, time will not permit us to take that. But that parable was to tell us that men ought always. When it is good, pray. When it is bad, pray. The Lord will help us in Jesus' name. And again in Ephesians 6:18 it says, and pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. If the Lord says we should keep on praying for all the saints, who should be the first person to pray for among all the saints? Your spouse. Because you pray for yourself. You remember you are one. As you pray for yourself, you pray for your spouse. As you pray for your spouse, you are praying for yourself. We ought always to pray with all kinds of prayer and request. God is making us to see that our trust in Him for our spouses shows more when we pray. Just like you say you will not have alternative, your own alternative may not be that you have a shrine, an idol, a babalawo or anything different from God. It may be even the spouse. It may be your knowledge that is the alternative. It may be your idea. It may be your method. It may be your cultural thing that you pick up as an idea. That's an alternative. It may be social media. It may be what you learn from anywhere. It may be what you read. It may not be the Lord. As long as it is not the Lord that you cast all your cares upon as touching your spouse, then you are not trusting in the Lord enough. And the issue of trust in your home may be very difficult to handle. But when you bring it to the Lord, the Lord, the author, He said before you were formed I have known you. Right from the womb I have sanctified you. God that have known us right from our mother's womb, He knows how to handle that matter. But will you trust God enough to take everything to God in prayer? Will you trust God enough to choose not to live in fear? Even if it is my life that is also the cause, that is not allowing my spouse to trust in me, Lord, here I am. I look inward. Search me, please. Turn me around. Help me, O Lord, that my life will be full of uprightness. I remember a man of God said he was brought up in a house "face-me-I-face-you." And you know face-me-I-face-you, you don't leave your door closed. Other people will see what is going on. So they always, when you come in, you close the door behind you. But the wife that lived in a flat, very the parents are rich, there is nowhere to just know, it's only when you come into the main building that you will close the door. Every other place, many of us, how many of us close our kitchen, everything? Because we don't have what are you closing? He now says when he got married, they now had flats but the man was so used to closing door. So when he enters his room, he will close but anytime the wife enters, she will not close. And you know the upbringing, the way the thing usually goes, the way they usually feel when he was still in his father's house, you know the irritation, the shout of maybe the parent, "Go and close the door!" That was the same way he sees it to be very to be something big. He started quarreling over that thing. How many times do I have to tell you that you will close the door behind you? He said they started quarreling that he was bitter. Bitterness came in. He began to grudge the wife. He's like you are disobedient. The wife was like, I didn't know, you know, what she wasn't used to. He said one day he had to take it to God. That's where help came. You can imagine if that man used to, was a man that don't have any fellowship with God, don't take his or his matters to God, what would have been the end of that matter? He said when he took the thing to God, you can see just closing the door bothered somebody to the point of taking it to God. There is nothing too big to take to God. He's our Father. When you have relationship with Him, you can talk to Him about everything. He said when he got to God, when he took the thing to God, God just told him: anytime she goes out, close the door if she didn't close the door. Ha, okay. He didn't like it before, but he was sure that was what God said. He said close it. Is anything wrong in you doing that when she's not doing it? God taught him a lesson. So that is how he began to close. And before you know it, he said there was a time he now also forgot to be closing. He began to get used to the new life not closing the door. And the two of them just discovered that everything just left, the bitterness and coal. The Father now, God now called his attention to make him to see that the reason why you think you are the one that have the strength to go on in a particular form, now that I have given you that, can you also see that eventually you too lie, you begin to change. The Lord will help us. In essence is that we need God. And when we bring God into our matter in trusting Him for our spouses, He will help us. Praise the Lord. I also have here that pray and pray and keep praying. We cannot overemphasize prayer. The time is perilous. Pray about everything and anything because we know that unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchmen stay awake in vain. We can see that in Psalm 127:1. Praise the Lord. And the last thing when it comes to trusting in the Lord is that: be committed to living uprightly and faithfully no matter what. What did I say? Said to living uprightly and faithfully no matter what. That is trust. Are you trusting the Lord because of what you want to get from Him? In a situation when God chooses to take away, not to even give you, we have seen in the Bible. Apostle Paul said he had affliction in his body. He said he besought God three times to take it away. Remember Apostle Paul? Even through his apron, many people got healed. Remember great miracles God did through him. But when it got to this point, He said God says no, My grace is sufficient for you. Carry that thorn in your body. Continue, it has a work. And what is the work? It says so that you will not be puffed up. Do you know what God is using that spouse, that thing in your life to do to correct? Don't say ha-ha, that's an example. God may not take it away. God may not even solve the problem. The example I gave, God did not solve the problem. The woman did not learn that until over a long time even when the husband had also joined. But will you remain faithful? Will you continue living uprightly and faithfully even when the other person is not? Even when you are, I have trusted the Lord and it seems He's not coming. We have read of heroes of faith in Hebrews chapter 11. Bible says many of them waited, they endured, they stayed even till their death. They kept saying this thing, this thing will come. Is it that it did not come? But it came after they had gone. The promises of God that they held on to, that they made them reject everything here because they have a house and building whose builder is not man but God. They held on to what God had said. They believed God till they died. Though they didn't see it, but as long as this was the word of God, they held on to it. And eventually it came. It came after them. It came generation after generation. That was the purpose of God for them. What I'm saying in essence is this: you may want to say, so until I die before God answer my prayer. That is not what I'm saying. But if that is God's purpose for your life, there's nothing you can do about it than to submit to it. But I can assure you, no matter the challenge you are having in your home with your spouse, that is not a reason for you to stop living uprightly and faithfully unto the Lord. When you stop your home on your own part, say shebi he's doing that, I can also have to change. It's a sign that you don't trust the Lord. It's a sign that made Abraham to succumb to his suggestion of Sarah. When Sarah said, "Through this my maid you can also have children." There was what? There was a shaking in Abraham's faith. Ah maybe, after all this promised child that God has spoken. You can see that when you shift in your trust, it's a sign. One thing that will happen is that you will no longer live uprightly and faithfully. The action of your spouse, his or in-action, will make you to do otherwise. Then your trust was not in the Lord. But irrespective of what, no matter what, do you want a change? Do you want are you trusting God for one great thing concerning your spouse? Are you believing God for one thing? Are you you have challenge. One of the signs by which God will arise quickly on your behalf, one of the requirements God want from you is that: ah don't give up. Don't relent. Keep living uprightly. Do your own part. Be faithful unto the Lord. Because what you are doing in your uprightness and faithfulness is not unto any man. It is unto the Lord. The Lord that sees the heart, that hopes that He hears you and sees you in secret and will reward you openly. He's not unfaithful to forget that your labor of love. God is not unfaithful. So don't give up. Be committed to living uprightly. So that your prayer will not be hindered. James chapter 5:16-17. Please can we quickly read that. James 5:16. [Speaker 3] Confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. [Speaker 2] Thank you. Then I want us to also read James 4:7. [Speaker 3] Therefore submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you. [Speaker 2] Can you see the submitting to God here is: you keep doing the right thing. Resisting the devil is when he comes and say: are you going to keep being faithful? This one, can't you see that he or she is failing in his own part? Will you be the one to keep faithful? Resist the devil. That is the suggestion of the devil. Keep being faithful, keep being upright. And through your godly life, through your life of godliness, you'll be able to silence all ungodliness. The power that transforms is the power of love. All of us we were once sinners, we were ungodly. The power that transformed us, that brought us to the cross was what? The power of love, the power of forgiveness, the power of not giving up. God did not give up on us. If you will also not give up on your spouse, if you keep trusting the Lord, if you keep forgiving, doing your own, standing right, standing right. You will be able to silence that power, will change away every other power, contrary power, every power of ungodliness in that your spouse. That power will turn it around. That power will silence it. These are things we have experienced. Because you stand to please the Lord, the Lord will arise and be the one to fight your cause. He said the battle is for I the Lord will fight your battle. If it is spiritual, the Lord will fight it. If it is physical, He will fight it. So please, no matter what it is, your trust in the Lord for your spouse will show by you holding on to God, by you praying, by you also living uprightly and faithfully no matter what. The Lord will help us in Jesus' name. Then the second part is, I said, trusting the Lord for your spouse and the second one is: living worthy of trust. You see now we have seen your your own part in dependence on the Lord, in in looking up unto Him. Now, what about your own life? Living worthy of trust. Bible says being able to punish all disobedience when our own obedience is fulfilled. Living worthy of trust. Trust in something or someone, just as we have said, is a great value that can only be earned, not demanded. I hope you know that. You can't demand trust, you must earn trust. So are you worthy of trust? Do you earn trust? Am my spouse, my my spouse does not trust me. He's tight of all. Are you worthy of trust? Is it that you are demanding or you earn it? Trust as we have said is a great value. It cannot be smoke-screened. It's a thing that we show. It your through your life it will be known. So if if you don't have a life that earns trust, then that is the problem in your marriage. You have to work upon yourself to have a life worthy of trust that can earn trust. Don't demand trust from your spouse, rather live a life worthy of trust. Let's see the book of Proverbs chapter 3. Proverbs 3:3-4. How do we earn earn trust? [Speaker 3] Let not mercy and truth forsake you. Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablet of your heart. And so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man. [Speaker 2] Thank you. Can you see what is there? Never let loyalty and kindness. I'm reading the NLT. Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you. These are the attributes that when it when they are in anybody's life, it will be like sugar. In the midst of ants. When you see sugar ant and you put sugar there, what will happen? Will the sugar force ant to come? They will in fact gladly, they will gladly be drawn by that sweetness. Is your life sweet? Do you have loyalty and kindness? He said, "Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you. Wear them like a necklace. Write them deep within your heart." One thing that is very important I see here is talking about an action, the doing. It's like God is not the one that will help you do this. God does all things. In your place of prayer, He can help you, teach you, don't be loyal, don't be disloyal. Be kind, be kind. But the action for human being to see has to be put up by us, put up by you. Let loyalty and kindness be found in you. Don't let it get away from you. That is how you will earn trust. Wear them like necklace, bind them down within your heart. Then you will find favor with who? Both God and man. Then you will earn trust. Then your spouse will be able to trust you. That is one of the ways to earn trust. Let mercy and kindness shout out all hatred and selfishness. Shout it out! Search inward. Many people can be so selfish and wicked that they don't even see themselves. Bible says the heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it? Even the man may not be able to know it. You have to shout out all hatred and selfishness. You allow truth in everything you do. You cut off all deliberate hypocrisy or falsehood. When you have told lie, your ways have not been right. You say you are going this way, your spouse discover it's another way. And in one way, two ways, two days, it has become days, years roll by. Hypocrisy, falsehood is your trademark. Ha, and you are now saying why the person is not trusting me. How? Tell me your life is not showing it. Tell me you are what? You are not a good example. You are you are not a good Google map. You are not showing the person trust. You are not bringing down the way to trust. And you say he should go. What the only way you have been showing is the way to hypocrisy, falsehood, selfishness, hatred. And you want the person to to tow the way to trust in you. Ha. How easy? How possible? So therefore, one of the way to handle trust issue in our life is look into your life, look inward. How is your life? Shout out all hatred and selfishness. Shout out all deliberate hypocrisy and falsehood. Then bind mercy and kindness, truthfulness, selflessness. Bind it, bind them around your neck. Let it be your logo. Let that let them see, let your spouse see that in you. Then you will earn what? Trust. You will not be demanding it. The person will just, you know, will be willing to follow you. The Lord will help us in Jesus' name. And Bible says you will now find favor before God and man. Can you see even that the aspect of your answer, prayer being answered, has to do with your life too. You want to punish disobedience when your own obedience is not complete. You want God's intervention in the life of your spouse when in your own life you have log and you are looking out for speck in other people's eyes. Earn trust. Trust in the Lord and you will find favor. Say you find favor before the Lord. So from this we can see that good reputation, trust, mercy, kindness, they are good reputation and they are highly esteemed before God and man. And this will show through our way of life, the way you live your life. The way you live your life, your everyday living. Summarizes your life, that's who you are. And if that life is not is not is not commanding, is not commanding respect, trust, and you want to demand it. You are doing the unthinkable. The Lord will help us in Jesus' name. And lastly I have here Psalm 34:16-19. [Speaker 3] The face of the Lord is against those who do evil to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Amen. [Speaker 2] Amen. I want that's where we want to close. Technical, I don't know if we have questions. Please we can be sending in our questions now. We can be sending in if you have any question, please send in. If you are online, you can type that in either on Telegram or on Mixer, we'll get the question. That verse of the Bible, Psalm 34:16-19 says the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. to cut off the memory of them from the earth. That is very, very true. Just as the face of the Lord is upon everyone. He says when the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, telling the Lord also his face upon the righteous and deliver them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and save the crushed in spirit. Some version of the Bible call it the broken in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Amen. What is this place telling us? No matter the situation in your marriage, don't turn the face of God against you by doing evil. It is not enough. You don't have excuse for doing evil because your spouse is doing evil. You only you only allow the chain of evil to keep to be to keep rolling. And evil will begin to circulate in your home. But the Lord because the Lord says His face is against those who do evil. Will you cut that chain, that evil chain of God's judgment by choosing to do right, even if the other person is doing evil and standing in the gap, trusting the Lord for your spouse, trusting the Lord through prayer, trusting the Lord waiting in in mercy and in patience and in selflessness, trusting the Lord to be the sacrificial lamb, washing, cleansing, trusting the Lord to be the has anew, know by He coming into your home to heal and to deliver the other person. Will you be that person? Or you want to cut, you want to continue because it's like this I also want to be like that. You are only bringing the face of God against your home. You only you are only asking God to cut off the memory of your memory from the earth. And I'm very sure there will not be any time you will consciously sit down somewhere and be praying that. But your action could be. Your behavior could be in that. And that is the reason why we have to arise and be like the righteous that will cry unto the Lord for help. But who is this righteous? The righteous is the one that is merciful, that is selfless, that trust in the Lord, that shun hatred, that shun bitterness, that shun hypocrisy, falsehood, but only trust in the Lord, choose to to do what? His life to command what? Trust. Choose to to stand in uprightness and holiness. And when you call upon the Lord, when you call upon the Lord, what did God say? He said the Lord will hear you. Your prayer will not be in vain. Before you call, before you call He will answer. While the word is in your mouth He will answer you, and He will deliver you. What is that thing? What is that situation? What what is that the specific call it? Very terrible ways or lifestyle of your spouse, or your situation. Just stand with the Lord and you will what? When you call upon Him, He said He will deliver you. He will come in and He will change your situation around. He will turn it around. The Lord has done it before, He's doing it. He's working. Oluwan se gegege bi ati jo. Anyone that will stand uprightly and choose to do the will of God and not because somebody is doing otherwise I now choose to also do evil. But you stand in your lane, you stand in your space, you stand in where God has placed you as husband or wife and you are choosing to obey the Lord. The Lord says when you call upon Me concerning that situation, concerning that spouse, He said He's coming to deliver. He said He will hear you and deliver you out of not some, that Bible says out of all. Are you saying in your heart how possible all? The reason why you have not seen it is because you are doubting it. When God says a thing, He said my when my word come out of my mouth it will not return to me void. He said it will go to accomplish what please what pleases me and He will do what, He will accomplish what is being sent forth to do. All. Except the one you leave out for God not to handle. But if you trust Him for all, He will answer and handle all your troubles. He said He is near. He's near to the brokenhearted. Are you brokenhearted? Are you are you contrite in spirit? Are you humble in the hand of the Lord? Are you humble, contrite in spirit? You know someone who is contrite? Submitting. Surrendering. Allowing God in everything. You turn from all your evil way. He said He's going to come near to the brokenhearted and save the crushed in spirit. Have you been crushed in spirit? Some people say men, I've been crushed. God will save you. He said many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. Amen. But can you see what is what is very, very important here? The people God will do that for He kept making it clear: the righteous, the righteous, the righteous. And who are the righteous? Those who will choose not to be because of somebody displease God, but will have the fear of God and face the Lord and follow Him and obey Him and live for Him and for His glory. Those who will trust in the Lord and lean not on their own understanding, who in all their ways they will acknowledge the Lord. These are the righteous. Those who will love mercy and kindness, who will shut out all hatred and selfishness, who will shut out all deliberate hypocrisy and falsehood, those are righteous. Who will bind love, mercy and kindness upon their heart. Those who will value what? Trust. Those who their life will command it and not demand it. Those who will always trust in the Lord, who will keep praying, who will pray without ceasing, who will not have alternative to God, who believe in what the Lord says, who are ready to work with Him, who can stand to the end. In spite of all, they will do what? They will keep seeking the will of God no matter what. May the Lord cause our life to be this and remain this in the name of Jesus. So by the grace of God, God expects of us as we continue next month. Do we have questions? Okay. Okay, we have a question in the house. [Speaker 4] Okay, ma. I want to ask that, concerning the first part, you said "trusting in the Lord for your spouse." Okay, when you have a spouse who is not behaving the way you expect and you are trusting in the Lord for the spouse, is it that you will just you is it that you will just keep on trusting the Lord for the person and not trust the person at all and be like okay, I know this person is not going to do right, at least not for now, but you just keep on trusting God. Is something like that possible? [Speaker 2] Okay. You will not is it that you will only trust the Lord and not trust the person? You will trust the Lord. It depends on the situation you are talking about. For instance, let's just bring an hypothesis. Somebody who is lying. Let's say the spouse is a liar. And you have discussed, it's a problem, and you trust the Lord, you keep praying. The trust in the Lord is not in vacuum. It moves you, it's a faith that moves you into action. One of the action is keep praying. We have mentioned that. One of the action is standing steadfastly. And this person keeps lying. When the person tells you this, okay, you can't change, you are still trusting the Lord, the person has not changed. That does not mean you will not because of that, not believe everything he says. But when you receive the message, okay, are you sure that's the truth? That's the truth. You know the wisdom you will need to hold on to that and begin to see, okay, because you you will if the person has not changed, you may be surprised that he has just told you lie. You understand? And that heart that will that that the heart of hatred, bitterness, fight, that is what your trust in the Lord would have taken away from you. You understand what I'm saying? But to also confront the person lovingly. But what you have told me is not true. You understand? And you'll be able to handle that. It doesn't mean because the person is not is a liar, now everything about the spouse, the marriage cannot continue. I can't no no no no no. Everything there are times he will speak the truth, right? So you will still accept the person the way you are. You can't even change anybody except you first accept. There are some behaviors that are not seen. Just the one I mentioned about the door. Did the man stop? Did he he had no choice. He God helped him not to beat his wife. If he's somebody that can beat wife, he must have slapped that woman several times. "I have always tell you should close the door!" That that can also lead to anything. But he was containing it. He took it to God in prayer. God gave him a method. Be closing it. Is anything wrong in you doing that when she's not doing it? God taught him a lesson. And with that, the whole thing became was solved without even any issue. He later even said that later the wife was even better than he closing the door. The wife will now come in and close and close the door and close the door and close the door that him that even started it now got used to not closing the door. Can you see how God helped them solve that problem? But the man did not separate the woman out of his life. You know the kind of separation we have in the home that there will be tension. They are still living under the same roof, but they are already separated. That did not happen because the person trusted the Lord, he prayed about it. So when we have situation like that, is your spouse, it could be your husband or wife. You continue with the person, trusting the Lord for change. You continue to be he says you pray perseveringly. So that is the action towards the person. Not an action of fight, not an action of bitterness, you understand? Not an action of but action of still accepting the person still correcting in love. You know the the example we gave. You correct the person. I still found out that you told lies. You encourage the person again: this is what the Bible says, if he's a believer, God will help you. But not a thing that we think, oh, it's not going to be possible again. You are no longer You are out of my life. I cannot know it cannot work. That person may be that person's weakness or problem. What about you? Is that other person a saint? What are other things in your life too that the other person is enduring? Your own may not be so you may think it's not so big, that little thing. But you don't know the effect on the other person. So we still have to lovingly, you know, patiently, and treat. Patiently correct the other person, going along in prayer. Loving, not reducing your love because of that. Because if the love reduces, the healing work may be truncated. It is love that took Christ to the cross. It wasn't easy. And that love is what conquers sin. Back and say: Father, here I am. So we must keep loving. How God will do it for us, that's why He says come to My presence, pray, trust in Me, so that we will keep doing that irrespective of what we see. Praise the Lord. I don't know if I've answered your prayer, your question. Shall we pray? I want us to appreciate God, I want us to thank God for speaking to us again. I want us to commit ourselves into God's hand. That the Lord will help us. Trust issue in the home. The Lord will help us. Is it financial matters? And because of that, a couple, He said anytime I give my wife money to buy things for the children, I discover that she give me overblown, over-overblown, what is it called, bill. So I think he got to he discovered that and because of that he took away everything. I will not be giving you money again to buy something. You have at least come back that is the trust issue. And that could bring that has become a problem. The wife said now he can't go to places, he will now take the money and go and give his junior sister. That one is the one now getting things you know for the for the children, for the This can be worked out if you will trust the Lord, if you will lovingly handle it. The person taking back is a is a spirit. It's because the person the operation of sin is still in the life of that woman. He needs a lot of prayers. She needs patience. She needs advice, she needs counsel, she needs help. If the spouse will see that situation in that life, it will help your heart in how to handle and how to help this person. I want us to ask the Lord that God we need You. We can see that there could be so many reasons for trust issue. But Lord, please help our heart. Please help our heart. When trust is taken away in any relationship, in any marriage, it's like they've taken away the salt in a soup. It's like the sweetness is taken away. It can lead to total breakdown of that marriage. Lord, please help us to trust You. Help us to trust You enough to take our matters to You. Help us to trust You enough to stand to do the right thing. Help us to trust You enough to stand even if our spouse is doing the wrong thing, stand for us to stand in our lane, in the place of uprightness and righteousness and not because of the wronging of the other person fall aside. Help us, oh Lord, that our life will also command trust. What is the state of our life? You may say that woman maybe the spouse is not giving her money. We see people that they even give more than enough but because stealing is in their blood, you know that is the operation of sin. Oh God, please help us. We need God's help. We need God's help. We need love. Love conquers sin. Love multitude of sin can be taken away. There is a miraculous in the power of love that the Lord God Almighty will work. Call upon the Lord, help me. Help me, Jesus help me. I cannot do it alone. I am trusting You. Help me, help me. Even if it is my life that is also the cause, that is not allowing my spouse to trust in me, Lord, here I am. I look inward. Search me, please. Turn me around. Help me, oh Lord, that my life will be full of uprightness. I will shun hypocrisy and and falsehood. My life, oh Lord, will shun hatred and wickedness. Lord, help me that my life will earn trust. Help me, are you praying that my life will earn trust? Thank You Everlasting Father. We give all the glory, Lord. For in Jesus' unfailing name we pray. [Speaker 1] Let's share the grace in fellowship. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us now and forevermore. Amen. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. [Speaker 2] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in enriching the lives of singles and marriage through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission aid. Our regular activities are discipleship class: every Monday 5:00 PM; adolescent and singles class: every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; marriage forum: second Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars; regular school outreaches; and everyday counseling. For further counseling, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Doree filling station along Ijero Road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are: 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all. [Music ends]