We Wrestle Not Against Flesh and Blood

[background music] [Narrator] Glory be to the Lord in the highest. His truth is marching on. Church even fellowships cannot be more spiritual than the individuals and families that constitute them. God greatly desires a godly home for you. These are words of restoration and instruction in righteousness from Family Tent Ministry. May you be blessed as you listen. [Speaker 1] For those physically here, shall be blessed in the name of Jesus Christ. We trust the Lord for His visitation for our marriages again today, visitation for our relationships and for our individual lives, for those among us who are due for marriage but who are matured enough for marriage but are yet to be married that are joining us this morning. And we will also pray for our nation Nigeria that may our nation, particularly at this difficult time, experience a divine visitation. May the mercy of God speak over the land in the name of Jesus Christ. Let us have a word of prayer as we go into the marriage forum for the month of June. Almighty God, we are grateful unto You. We thank You for Your love. We thank You for Your mercies. We thank You for Your goodness. We thank You for Your grace. We thank You for preservation. We bless Your holy name, our Father. We say unto You, O Lord, we gather this morning, this second Saturday of the month of June. Unto You we gather for our marriage forum. Lord, meet with us individually and collectively in the name of Jesus Christ. Our eyes are on You this morning. Paul plants, Apollos waters, it is the Lord that gives increase. Lord, give increase to our gathering. For our brethren who are here physically, for those online, Lord give increase to this meeting in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank You, eternal Father. Blessed be Your holy name, O God. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. We want to look at a very important topic this morning that I want us to pay close attention to, particularly in our homes, in our relationships. The need to understand that as believers, while there could be several factors that could explain the situation that marriage and family is going through today—a situation of serious difficulty, a situation of general marital instability, a situation where domestic violence resulting from conflict between the husband and the wife has claimed the life of several young people, young men, young women, a situation of serious instability across the land—and not only across the nation, but even across the globe. Conflict over finance, conflict over sexual relationship, conflict over personality differences, conflict in the matters of in-laws, conflict—so much conflict today. And for those of us who also follow the news yesterday, it was the case of the 34-year-old Nigerian who of course had been separated from the wife and then what actually happened is still being investigated because it was just a news that was on the air yesterday. The young man, 34 years old, took a gun, went to where the wife was residing, killed the wife, killed the mother-in-law, and then also killed himself. That was as at yesterday. I'm talking about the state of marital conflict—and that is not something in Nigeria, but talking of something in the western world. So you find out that the state of conflict today and domestic violence across the globe is indeed getting more and more worrisome, and of course, a lot of factors can be attributed to this. From socioeconomic factors, personality factors, background factors, so many factors that could be attributed to the level of instability and the several attendant negative consequences that we have today in the nation and across the globe. But in the midst of all of this, I just want to call our attention to something that I found very vital looking through scriptures. And so today, we'll be considering "We Wrestle Not Against Flesh and Blood." That is taken from the book of Ephesians. Paul was actually speaking about spiritual battles. And there he made the statement that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. Let's quickly get to that scripture, Ephesians 6:12. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." That is what I want to speak on this morning in this marriage forum. And what I want to quickly do is to refer us to the very first family in the Bible, that is the family of Mr. and Mrs. Adam. I just want us to look at it in the view of "we wrestle not against flesh and blood." Of course, we can admit that there are several factors that are responsible for marital instability. But as Christians, I want us to also look at this perspective in offering solution to some of the conflicts that we have in marriages today. In the book of Genesis chapter 1, the Bible talks about the creation, and in verse 26, God made man in His own image, in the image He made them, and He created them to have dominion over everything that was created. And then we notice in that same Genesis chapter 1:26-27: "Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. And we saw in Genesis chapter 2 that that creation was something that was procedural. The man was first created on that sixth day, and later that sixth day, the woman was created, and consequent upon the woman's creation, the Lord blessed them for that multiplication. And then we saw that there was an instruction in Genesis chapter 2 around verse 15-17. It says: "Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, 'Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.'" That was instruction given to the man, and then subsequently the Lord went ahead in that story, it's not good for the man to be alone, and the woman came. And then so they were both there in that garden, a happy family surrounded by abundance, things going well, everything okay, inside that which God had provided for them. And then when we came to chapter 3, the Bible says: "Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, 'Has God indeed said, "You shall not eat of every tree of the garden"?' And the woman said to the serpent, 'We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, "You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die."' Then the serpent said to the woman, 'You shall not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made for themselves coverings." We saw something here, that the marriage had been wonderful, things had been okay, things had been going on well in their relationship. There was no issue. But along the line, the Bible talks about an enemy. And as at the point when the enemy showed up, he showed up as though it was a friendship. Because if you look at what the woman later said when the Lord was asking the woman in the verse 13: "And the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this you have done?' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'" So as at when the serpent was showing up, having a discussion with the woman, the truth was that the woman did not realize that it was a deception. The woman thought it was a discussion that would make her life better. She thought it was something that would make her home better. She thought it was something that would help further advance, further bring advancement to what she was already enjoying. She wanted to move to another level. But did not realize that it was a deception. And at the end of the whole thing, you found that the woman was—the man was saying it was the woman that was with him, the woman was saying it was the serpent. Eventually judgment came upon all. Now, in a particular meeting, I was asking the people, "What can we say about the instability that came into this marriage? What can we say is the source of conflict for this home?" And then various reasons were given. Some said, "Of course, the woman. She ought not to have eaten what she ate and that she ought not to have given it to the man; that the woman was disobedient. That if not for her, maybe the man would not have eaten the fruit." Some felt anyways, it's about the man, "Why did he disobey? He should have of course taken his position as a man and refused to eat whatever was offered." And the suggestions, reasons were coming, the man, the woman, the woman, the man, the man, the woman. And then after all those suggestions, I tried to call the attention of the couples, as I'm calling your own attention now wherever you are listening to me. Let's take it that the answers they gave were correct. That the woman was disobedient, the man should not have listened. All those things, they were true. And of course, there is one more thing that I needed also to mention. If you look at that temptation, look at the woman's response. I read that in the literature of a particular author attributing some things to the failure on the part of the woman. The woman said, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.'" From the point of that author, he saw ignorance on the part of the woman, that the woman did not know exactly what was said. God never, in the instruction in Genesis chapter 2 verse 16 and 17, there was nothing about touching or no touching. The instruction was, "The day you eat of it, you will surely die." But that the woman added, "You shall not touch it." That it appears the woman don't have a full understanding of what the instruction really should be. And then the author also termed that maybe the fault was with the man. The instruction as at the time it was given appeared to be given to the man. So maybe the man did not pass it very well, correctly and appropriately to the woman. And when information move from the first source to another source, in the process of moving that information, the man did not pass it correctly and all kinds of faultfinding. Now, of course, all of this analysis, I don't have problem with them. The arguments are okay, the positions are correct. But a perspective I want us to look at this morning is just in addition to all that has been said, and which is our emphasis this morning. So without contradicting the earlier positions, we are just trying to bring another angle to the discussion. "We wrestle not against flesh and blood." Now let's take all those perspectives to be correct. All those perspectives taken to be correct: the woman was ignorant, the man did not pass it correctly, the woman was stubborn, the man was disobedient. Let's take all those things to be correct. Do you think anything would have happened if there was no serpent? If there was no serpent. Because the beginning of that story of the fall of man and the instability and the conflict in that marriage, the beginning of it, the first thing we were told was that "Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field." So one thing that I'm trying to add to the various positions is that all other perspective taken to be correct—the woman was ignorant—if there was no devil, will her ignorance be able to find expression? Will her ignorance be able to find expression? Taking that the man did not pass it across well to the woman, will we be able to know all of that? Will those things be able to become a problem in their marriage? Take it that the woman was having an adventurous spirit, she wants to see something more than God has given her. But the issue is that the Bible also mentioned there was a serpent. And many times when we are looking at conflict in marriages, it appears we don't talk about the serpent. We don't make reference to the activities of principalities and powers. We don't make reference to the activities of rulers of darkness. We don't make reference to the activities of spiritual wickedness in heavenly places. But you see, when we talk about marriage, marriage is something that God instituted. Marriage was something that was conceived of God. Marriage is an essential part, is something that was part of God's kingdom. It was something that was established by God. And it is important for us to know that in a bid to frustrate God's kingdom, in a bid to make sure that the kingdom of God, the purpose of God do not stand, what the enemy did at the beginning was to frustrate a marriage. What I'm trying to say is that we should realize as Christians, we should realize as believers that yes, while there are issues—socioeconomic issues, temperamental issues—we should not forget a very, very vital thing. The Bible says, "Now the serpent." There is a serpent. There is a serpent. And for Adam and Eve, there was a serpent. There was somebody who was an active enemy. There was someone who was a source, a trigger. So that sometimes in your marriage, it may just be a little argument over finance. But before you know it, if you are not careful, if you are not discerning and you are not watchful, that little argument over finance can consume the whole marriage. While you might be thinking it's about finance, it may be more than the matter of finance. There is an enemy. There is an enemy. And you notice that if you look through scriptures, scriptures did not in any way deny that there is an enemy. When we look at the family of Job, Job chapter 1, the Bible talks of Job as a man who had integrity, a man who was okay, a man who feared God, a man who was walking uprightly. And again, the Bible gave us a picture that there was a day the sons of God gathered and Satan gathered with them. And God was taking pride in the life of Job. And then the Bible says the enemy said, "Isn't it because You have placed this protection around him?" Of course, the edge of God was around his family. "Isn't it because You have placed this edge around him? Now You move away now and let me attack that home and you will see what will happen." What I'm trying to make you see from that story is that the enemy has severally tried to attack that home. He had tried to be an intruder in that home. Effort had been made here and there by the devil to attack that marriage. If you look at the matter of understanding, Matthew chapter 13, just trying to make you see that actually we have an enemy. Talking about the parable of the sower, Jesus said as he sowed, some of the seed fell by the wayside and the birds came and devoured them. That is Matthew chapter 13 verse 4. The Lord talks about the birds of the air that came and devoured the seed that the sower went about sowing. And then when he came to this translation of that parable, you notice that the Lord made reference to the active activity of an enemy. Look at it in verse 19. He said, "When anyone hears the word of the kingdom, and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who receives seed by the wayside." Are you seeing that when we are trying to establish the kingdom of God, when we are trying to establish a peaceful home, when we are trying to establish marital stability, which was the intention of God from the very beginning. The Bible says He made them one because He seek godly seed. He instituted marriage because He wanted Adam and Eve to multiply His image. They were made in His image. He wanted His image to multiply so that everywhere you go, you will find the image of God placed everywhere. That was intention of God in instituting marriage. God was not looking towards marital instability. It was supposed to be something peaceful, a situation where the image of God can be multiplied. Where the image of God can fill the earth. That was intention of God. God had in mind that by that act of marriage, which is sexual relationship, he also produced seed, godly seed. What God had in mind was that by that act of marriage, godly seed, the image of God will be multiplied. That was intention of God. But you find that like you find in the book of James chapter 3—I will come back to that Matthew—look at what happens when there are confusion and all of that. Look at what happens. James chapter 3, if you look at that from around verse 13. It says: "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his work are done in meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your heart, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where evil and self-seeking exist, confusion and every kind of evil thing are there." So when you see confusion, you see envy, you see strife, you see jealousy, you see all those things, what it gives room for is a multiplication of the activities of the devil. A multiplication. So the confusion, the marital instability we see today, the home becoming a place where young men kill their wife and wife assault husband and all kinds of domestic violence that we find today is just a strategy to be sure that, one, this institution waste people, and then two, the works of the devil can be multiplied. How is it still multiply? You find look at children from broken homes. Look at children from homes, marriages that are not stable. Go and watch the turnout. Research have established that many times children from broken homes don't turn out well. What I'm trying to make you see is that beyond the instability, the enemy want to make sure that the image of God is not multiplied upon the earth so that we can have wayward children, vagabond children, children that are rascals, toughs, thieves, arm-robbers, just fill the earth with that. But my point this morning that I'm trying to make is that in that Matthew chapter 13 that we were, is that many times believers, Christians don't seem to acknowledge—they seem to, when things are happening around them, around their marriage, around their home, they are so much focus on themselves. Finger-pointing, accusation, claim, counter-claim, all fighting, the in-fighting goes on. The strife continues, the envy, the jealousy, the division, they just go on and on and on. Keep accusing the other party without a recourse to, "Wait, where is the place—are we sure the hand of the enemy is not in this?" Without a recourse, without discerning, without looking back, and on and on the fight continues. What we are saying is that stable home, Christian home, happy marriages, there is an enemy. There is a third party. There is an enemy. The Bible says, "Now the serpent." Before the issue of the woman ignorance, the woman that, the man this, the man that, there was a serpent. And that is something we need to acknowledge. You see the Lord said that when people don't understand, He says in that verse 19 of Matthew chapter 13, He says that then the wicked one comes and he snatches away. There is a snatching away. There was an active enemy that is against the establishment of God's kingdom in the heart of people. And the Lord recognizes this and He made mention of it. If you move on, if you look at James, the book of James and the book of Peter, you find the same thing. Peter said be vigilant, be vigilant and then be sober for your adversary the devil goes about seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8. Be sober. Many times in our marriages, we are not sober. We are not watchful. We are not watchful as husband and as wife in our relationships, in our networks, where we have relationship with people, relationship with other believers, relationship with neighbors, relationship with your wife, relationship with your children, relationship with your parents. Such relationship, harmony in the home, harmony in the neighborhood, harmony in the workplace, harmony in the society. The Bible says be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Seeking whom he may devour. So the Bible—you see that the Bible is establishing that look, we have an enemy. We have an enemy. And I showed you how that enemy scattered the first marriage, and he's still going about today. Look at what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians chapter 2. I just want us to draw lessons from it. This is likely to be our closing scripture for today, but I want you to look at this incident. I want you to see a connection just like what we are trying to connect in our discussion. Look at what happened here. It says, "But I determined within myself that I would not come again to you." This is the word of God through Apostle Paul. "For if I make you sorrowful, then who is he who makes me glad but the one who is made sorrowful by me?" I believe you understand what Paul is trying to say there. So I said to myself, "No, I won't do it. I won't make you unhappy with another painful visit." For if I cause you pain and make you sad, who is going to make me glad? Surely you know that my happiness depends on your happiness. May that be a realization for us as believers, that our true joy depends on the joy of others. You are not truly free until your neighbor is free. If you put all your neighbors in prison, you cage them and you want to live a free life, you will discover that it is difficult for you because you will be afraid that they will kill you. You will not be free. That is the truth and that is what is a problem today in our society. The shepherd boy's song of John Bunyan: "He that is down need fear no fall. He that is low, no pride. He that is humble ever shall have God to be his guide." He that is down does not fear fall. He that is low, of course no pride. It is so important for us to know some of these things. May we come to a point that we really realize that true happiness is a function of those around us being happy. You are not really happy—you may think you are joyful—you are not really joyful until those around you are joyful. That is the truth about life. So let's read on. He says, "I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt your entire church more than he hurt me." Someone did something wrong and so Paul wrote to them on dealing with that person. And the strength of that letter was a very strong one. And now he's writing and saying something about that, the purpose for it. Verse 7: "Now, it is time to forgive him and comfort him. Otherwise, he may become so discouraged that he won't be able to recover. Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love to him, for to this end I also write, that I might put you to test, whether you will be obedient in all the things. Now, whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sake in the presence of Christ." Look at why all of these things were recommended. Can you see verse 11? He said, "lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices." So that Satan will not outsmart us. Let us quickly forgive each other, let's quickly come back together, let's quickly throw away accusing finger, let's quickly come back and look, we are brothers no matter what has happened so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are very familiar with his evil schemes. Are you seeing something? So that when you see situation where fight goes on and on and on and on, and it looks like, "Yeah, I've dealt with him, I will deal with him," what you don't know is that Satan will outsmart you. Satan will outsmart you. I'm showing you the part of the fathers, I'm showing you the part of the apostles, I'm showing you the part what we also need to understand, that there is an enemy. We don't just wrestle with flesh and blood. Be careful not to always take things out of hand. Be careful not to go on not forgiving, be careful not to go on, "We will fight it to the last, I will deal with the person, I will show him who I am, I will make sure he learns the lesson, I will do this, I will do that," and then the claim and counter-claim continue. What you don't realize is that at a point the enemy would have outsmarted you. He will take advantage of it. And I'm telling you for so many marriages today, offense and not forgiving, not overlooking on time, these things have given the enemy advantages over many marriages, over many children, over many homes, over many churches, over many relationships. There is an enemy, there is an adversary, and he wants to take advantage of loopholes. And many times when these loopholes are there and we leave these loopholes and we begin to you know, we keep on thinking it's about the loophole. "My wife don't know how to talk, my husband don't know how to react, my husband is not too spiritual, my wife is not very humble, my colleague is a proud person, the other person he talks too much, this one easily gets angry," and you keep on and on like that, there is an adversary who takes an advantage of you. So brethren, as we close for today, I really want to make you see—let us have like I said at the beginning, I am not against the other socioeconomic factors that have been attributed to conflict in marriages. No, I'm not against them. I'm not against psychological factors that have been attributed to conflict in marriages. No, I'm not against those things. I'm only saying that as believers, as Christians—particularly as Christians—if you are not a Christian, you may need to have an encounter with Jesus and then take His yoke upon you, that is very crucial and you need to give your life to Jesus. He's the Prince of Peace who can begin to bring peace into your life and your home. But the point I'm making for those of us that are Christians listening to me is that beyond all of these things, this argument you keep arguing, some of you you are there, the offense of five years ago you are still carrying it as a source of conflict in your home, some of you are carrying the one from day before yesterday, some of you are carrying the one from last year, from last month, from two years ago, you are still holding those things here and there. That is where you see arguments and rearguments. I want to beg you, be sober, be vigilant. Beyond all of those things—the woman was ignorant, the man made a mistake—beyond all of those things, if there was not a serpent, those things would not have been known. We would not have known. If we don't allow the devil to outsmart us in our relationship, so many things that come out and the world is now reading it—"Hey, that marriage, the woman was disobedient, the woman was a bad woman, the man is a bad man"—those things that the world now begin to read would not have been known. They would not have been seen. Let us make a U-turn about conflict in our homes. Let's sit down, let's be vigilant, let's be sober, let's remember that look, when we go on fighting and fighting and fighting, when we feel that no, the fight must continue, the enemy keep taking advantage of us. Let's have a rethink like the Apostle did here. Let's say, "No, this fighting must not continue, this in-fighting must not go on, I don't want to point accusing finger again at anybody." We want this thing to stop in this home. At that point, you are taking a position where the enemy will not take advantage of you. Let us go ahead to pray this morning. Let's talk to the Lord. We wrestle not against flesh and blood. The matter is not just about money, it's beyond—it's not just only about money, about character, about temperament, about background, about in-laws, all of these are very true. But it is not only that. There are also things beyond that. The mystery of iniquity is also at work. There is an adversary. And I want you to pray that God Almighty, everywhere the adversary is taking advantage of the conflict, of the weakness in my spouse, everywhere the enemy is taking advantage of me in our relationship, maybe as Christians in a fellowship, as in the neighborhood, as co-neighbors in the street, anywhere the enemy is taking advantage, O Lord God Almighty, Lord God, help me. Help me, O Lord. Help me, O Lord. Lighten my darkness. Teach me Your ways, O God. Cause my heart to be discerning. Cause my eyes to see, to see correctly. To see correctly, in the name of Jesus Christ. And as I take the closing prayer, I say this. You see, when it comes to the matter of the kingdom, it is not how it feels. It is not how it seems. It is not how it appears. It is not how it looks. What is important is "What is the truth?" I pray this afternoon that in your marriage, in all your relationship, in all your network, may we live a life that is above how it seems. May we live a life that is above how it feels. May we live a life that is above how it appears. May we live a life that is above how it looks. May we live the truth in our relationship in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank You, eternal Father. Blessed be Your holy name our God. In Jesus' name we pray. Let's share the grace in fellowship. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us now and forever more. Amen. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow us all the days of our lives, and we shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever. Amen. [Narrator] This message is coming to you from Family Tent Ministry, a Christian ministry involved in reaching the lives of singles and married through preaching and teaching of God's word, discipleship, family life enrichment, social and community development, and mission heat. Our regular activities are discipleship class every Monday, 5:00 PM; adolescents and singles club every first Saturday of every month at 10:00 AM; marriage forum second Saturdays of every month at 10:00 AM; family life seminars, regular school outreaches, and everyday counseling. For further counsel, you can reach us at our location: Life Camp by the first bridge, Ilere community, opposite Very Joyful filling station along Ijele road, Akure, Ondo state, Nigeria. You can also reach us through our social media handles: familytent@yahoo.co.uk, familytentministry01@gmail.com, www.familytentministry.org. Our phone numbers are 08033861136, 07033613848. God bless you all.